Chapter 3: An unwelcome invitation in Ithilien
Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings, but I do own the ugly pigeon, not that that does any credit to me.
A/N: It's been loooong since I last updated, or wrote any fanfiction at all. Sorry this chapter is so short. I'm running out of ideas. Any suggestions?
In Ithilien, high above the rooftops, an ugly pigeon soared ungracefully. Although many other birds dotted the cloudy sky, this particular pigeon stood out, maybe because of the hot pink scroll tied to his leg.
"Caw! Caw! Hraglesmrff!" he made some unpigeon-like sounds, clearly objecting to the said attachment. Spotting his destination, the pigeon started a slow descent. Slow and smooth was his goal, a good end to a long and tiresome trip from Minas Tirith.
He collided with the stone wall of the castle.
Muttering pigeon-curses, he entered through an open window, only to collide with something hard in the room.
Faramir and Eowyn held each other tight, passionately intertwining their bodies in a pretzel-like embrace. In the back of Faramir's mind he knew he should be attending some conference or another, but who cared? He could use a day off. Besides, he was safe in his bedroom with his blond-haired beauty, the door locked and the curtains drawn shut. Only the window was open, but who could enter, the bedroom being on the 7th floor…
SPLAT!
Faramir and his wife sat up in the bed, alarmed. Faramir frowned when he saw the cause of the disturbance. A small grotesque figure had crashed into the side of the tall bookshelf. It was hard to tell what it was, but he suspected it was a pigeon…carrying a hot pink scroll. Gingerly, he lifted the bird up by the claws and untied the message. Finally free of his burden, the bird started flailing about wildly, freeing himself of Faramir's grasp. He flew out the window, shrieking, but not before leaving an obscene amount of bird "souvenirs" on Faramir's head. The prince of Ithilien shook his first at the bird, cursing loudly. Eowyn giggled, walking over to see what the hot pink message was while Faramir tried to clean off his head.
She opened up the scroll and saw a really fat Santa Claus. He must have just consumed a large amount of food, as the text on the card came in the form of a burp. "Disgusting," Eowyn muttered as she read the text.
"Farry-dear," she called. "Aragorn invited us to a Christmas party."
"That's nice," Faramir replied absentmindedly, still trying to clean the disgusting mess out of his hair.
"It's in Rivendell, on Christmas Eve. I guess we should start shopping for gifts, seeing as it is already the first week of December."
"I know what we can get Aragorn," Faramir said darkly. "A bucketful of pigeon poop." He had failed to clean off the mess, only spread it all over his hair. "This is so gross. I don't care if Aragorn's king. When I get my hands on that man…"
A/N: Please review! Let me know how this story is!