A/N:
UPDATES FRIDAY!
Take Your Idiocy To The Supreme.
Kudos to Angel-san and her Hiro story for part of this chapter…
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The other day, I was told I was gay.
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Am I really gay?
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"Yep,"
"Piss off, Akito. You're gayer than me. Girly man,"
"…(sad)"
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So Yuki showed me this site of Shigure's computer…
It proved my worst nightmares.
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"And here… there is this story were we… you know…"
"…Oh my fucking god."
"And then there's you and Ritsu…"
"…"
"And then there's you and… AKITO"
"(dies)"
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Why?
Why me?
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"Because, you're a uke,"
"Haru!"
"Take your idiocy to the… um…"
"SUPREME"
"You're gay,"
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Well… that solved that.
I'm not gay.
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"But you've raped me before,"
"What do you have to do with anything, Shigure?"
"Everything, m'dear,"
"…"
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Yuki told me about how he found Kisa in his bed.
So I bought one of those whistles that call animals.
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"(walks to Sohma Estate)"
"(blows)"
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Then Akito told me that I was an idiot, because dogs and cats are the only animals that can be called using the special whistle I bought. I was offended.
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"Well EXCUSE MY ASS but I am a cat, Shigure is a dog and Kisa is partly some sort of cat!"
"…That's what I call taking your idiocy to the supreme,"
"Thanks"
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And the hardest part is letting go not taking part.
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"Kyo, metaphorically speaking, you've never taken part in anything. You're the cat; left out of everything. What have you ever held on to except your hatred for Yuki and-"
"Master? Shut up!"
"…Sorry,"
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Whoa. Masters first appearance.
Gasp.
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Ya know what?
You'd be amazed how much a love you so.
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"Kyo?"
"What?"
"You mean that?"
"Yes, of course Kagura,"
"…"
"HAHAHA! APRIL FOOLS IN AUGUST!"
"…(angst)"
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Someone rescue me.
Shigure's so mean.
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"Waaah! Some body! Kyo's hitting on me!"
"Be quiet Momiji, you fool!"
"April fool?"
"No, the Easter bunny"
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Momiji was very upset for the rest of the day.
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I actually think he stopped being sexually active.
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"Gasp!"
"I know!"
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The other morning, Machi came up to me.
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"Um… you must be Yuki's cousin…"
"What's it to ya?"
"He… he said that I was a useless butt face,"
"You are,"
"…THANKS A LOT, ASS!"
"Butt face, Machi. Butt face. (corrects)"
"(seethes)"
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She really needs to get her anger checked out there.
But then again, so do I.
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"You said it, sister!"
"…Idiot, I'm a guy,"
"…SUPREME"
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YAY!
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I ate pasta with meatless balls last night.
I commented to Yuki that his balls were meatless.
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"How would you know?"
"Oh. I know. (wink)"
"...(twitch)"
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Haha Yuki.
You have meatless balls.
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"You saying your balls have meat?"
"Yep. Taste!"
"N-Nah thanks!"
"Come on Haru..."
"...(run)"
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Everything I hate runs from me.
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I ate a supremely made supreme pizza just then.
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Tohru was too lazy to make dinner.
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"She was giving birth to YOUR child!"
"…Lies! Scandal!"
"Don't be a supreme moron,"
"STOP USING MY WORD, DAMMIT!"
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Hiro later told me it was his word.
He used it first.
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"No Hiro, supreme is a word that the pizza man from pizza lane came up with,"
"…(gasp)
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I just squeezed a pimple.
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"You GET pimples?"
"Yes little Kisa, I do. I get them everywhere. My face, my face, my di-"
"Kyo?"
"What?"
"I think you have…"
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Then Hatori came.
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"Kyo, you have genital herpes."
"…?"
"You have a pimple on your dick."
"NOOOOOooooOOOOOoooooOOOOOoooooOOOOoo…"
"That means no sex for a while,"
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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"And… no mauling,"
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SUPER NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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What am I supposed to do all day?
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I tried to pop the pimple but it just wont bulge.
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I m-mean budge!
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"No you don't,"
"Shutup Kureno,"
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A week later, Hatori came at cut the herpes off.
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I was bandaged… I couldn't even hold an erection for the high holy days.
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"How sad,"
"Sure was Kisa. Sure was,"
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But after a while, I was okay.
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All my prostitute buddies where happy.
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"...Idiot"
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And so concludes my epic tale about having genital herpes.
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Speak up, act now.
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Fight against AIDS.
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And having no sex for a month and a half!
"Kyo!"
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A/N:
Teehee, yay.