Author's Note: I was wondering what would be the least cliche out of these...

-Them almost getting caught, it being really, really close

-Them actually getting caught

-Or them hiding in the correct car and not being caught at all

So I made up one of my own! How very special of me. Well, onto the story.

We waited in Andy and Brand's boxcar for a good thirty minutes before we realized nothing was going to happen, we were safe, the conductor was gone, etc.

"Everyone out," Brand called. I stood up from my rather uncomfortable crouching position and stretched my limbs, each one cracking in turn.

"Oh, that's so disgusting, I may lose my appetite!" Chunk said.

"Sorry."

"Did the guy like feed the cows at all?" Andy asked, appalled.

"I don't know," I said. "Let's check the boxcar." I crept through the door that connected the adjoining boxcars and started. "All the hay bales are still there, he didn't feed the cows."

Mouth tapped Chunk on the shoulder. "Hey, how much hay was in there?"

"Enough to cover the floor," Chunk told him. "I don't think they'd want to eat it though..."

"I'm gonna go feed the cows," I said. I pulled on my pants, one leg was noticeably shorter than the other. I would hurt whoever decided to use MY pants as a tourniquet. But I was thankful, too. That someone actually knew what to do. I wondered who it was, but I suppose I didn't care enough to ask.

"Me, too," said Mikey, and he followed me into the boxcar. Mouth and Data followed. "You may want to take off your trenchcoat, Data," I pointed out. He pulled off the trenchcoat and threw it on the ground. It landed with a metallic sound and lay in a lumpy heap. I wondered what it concealed.

It was very dark outside, and even darker in our boxcar. There was a light on the back of the train, so Brand and Andy's boxcar had a little bit of light, but ours was almost completely dark, once you closed the doors. I did, however, notice that we had stopped at a small station and that there was a floodlight with an on/off switch. I pulled it, and the area around the train was flooded with light. I guess that's why they call it a floodlight.

I walked up and down the train, counting the cars to the engine. "Five cars!" I called. "That means five hay bales! Everyone get one bale, the first one to come back gets the last one. Spread some around in each car, but leave most of it in the bale for them to eat." I climbed up in our boxcar and lifted a bale. It was heavier than I'd expected. I was able to hold onto it by some elastic bands holding it together like giant rubber bands.

And I lugged it down to the car closest to the engine.

"Don't strain yourself!" Brand called.

"I'm ok!" I yelled back, and hefted the bale upon the step of the boxcar. I could hear some frantic moo-ing. When I threw open the door, the smell of cows hit me in the face. Ugh. It brought back memories of when I went to a farm for a field trip in kindergarten, and I had to leave the barn, because the smell was just so overpowering. This wasn't as bad because there were a lot less cows...you would have thought that it would have been worse because they were in a small, enclosed space, but I wasn't complaining. Getting inside the car, I strained to get the bale up with me. Finally I got it and covered the ground with some hay, covering excretion. Disgusting. I wished the conductor would take better care of his passengers. Though I wouldn't go as far as cleaning out their boxcars.

I was very happy when I slammed the door to the boxcar. At least the cows hadn't gotten in my way, they had all just stood to the side, moo-ing and looking clueless. Actually, cows don't go 'moo.' They make more of a nasally moaning sound. It's quite humourous, actually, once you think about it.

I made my way back to our original boxcar, and five bales were gone. There were still a large number left to sleep on, though, and I was glad for that. I was prepared to go into Brand and Andy's boxcar to get some more, but I really, really didn't want to go in there. I guess I didn't know what I might find.

I did, however, find Chunk sitting on a bale in our boxcar, breathing hard. "I carried a hay bale," he said proudly.

"Yeah, how many times did you drop it?" asked Mouth, laughing.

"Only four," Chunk said defensively.

"It's a good thing that hay bales aren't breakable," said Mikey.

I sat down next to Chunk. "You know what, Chunk?"

"What?"

"I hate cows."

I had nearly drifted off, when I remembered something. "Oh lord, I left the floodlight on!" I crept outside, almost stepping on Mouth's sleeping figure. "Get off the floor, Mouth," I whispered for no absolute reason. Data, Mikey, and Chunk were playing cards in the corner using a flashlight.

As I neared the floodlight, I thought I could see a moving figure off near the engine. I froze in my tracks, which was stupid. I was almost directly underneath the floodlight and whoever it was could see me in plain view. As I froze, the figure froze too. I noticed, though, that it looked like a square with legs. No arms, no visible head...but it was definitely moving.

Oh lord. No. Way.

I yelled "HEY!" and the figure turned around. I could see it from the side. It looked like a table. My suspicions were confirmed.

I looked the train up and down, and found what I was looking for. The third boxcar from the engine...its door was open.

"Who delivered to the third boxcar from the engine?" I shouted, bursting back into our boxcar. Mikey, Data, and Chunk just glared at me. Mouth flopped on the floor like a fish out of water, hitting his head on the ground. "Ow...pain...there's probably a law against that kind of harassment, you know."

"There's probably a law against throwing Chunk's gym clothes in people's faces," said Mikey.

"I'm not kidding!" I said loudly. "Whoever fed the cows in the third boxcar from the engine left the door open!"

Even though Mouth had just woken up and his eyes were glassy, he still looked sheepish. "Mouth, you IDIOT! The cows are LOOSE!"

"Go to sleep, Loony, they're just cows," he said.

"But...they..."

"Go to SLEEP, Loony," he said firmly. "I don't care if the cows got loose...everyone just...go to bed. Please. Go. To. Bed."

"Someone got up on the wrong side of the floor," muttered Chunk.

"Isn't anyone going to help me?"

"Round up the cows, Luna?" asked Mikey. "I don't think so, they may have gotten pretty far. I am not going out at night in a forest I've never been in to look for a couple of lost cows that don't mean shit to me. Sorry, you're on your own."

I was desperate. If they found that cows had escaped, they might suspect something and come looking and find us and...maybe I was overreacting. I did that a lot. Then again... "Data?"

Data was asleep.

I sighed and sat down on a hay bale, defeated. I would go to sleep. But if anything happened, it would be Mouth's fault.

As I drifted off, I thought how I didn't want to come to Astoria. I had never expected an adventure. I'd never expected to meet guys like this, or find a treasure map, or be stuck on a train with misbehaving cows.

God, my dreams are going to be infested with cows tonight, I know it.