A/N: Written during a particularly hard time when my nightmares came back. Just sharing it now, as the pain of it isn't as close…
Warning: Contains mature subject matter
Disclaimer: Yes, it's completely mine… Just one of my few written things I have on that doesn't really include Satan
Dedication: To those people who inspired this
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Haunted
At one time, I thought I was important
I thought that I was loved
I thought I made a difference
But it turns out I was wrong
It was like you couldn't stand the sight of me
I felt like you were never listening
Did my opinions ever matter to you?
You made a promise to me
You said you'd never leave
I guess it was my own fault...
I was never good enough
I believed that the nightmare would stop
You destroyed my trust
You said that you'd stop
One time, I believed everything
I was so innocent... so stupid
I don't understand what it was I did wrong
I looked up to you, you were my hero
You represented hatred... you were everything bad
I guess I'll never get to confront you
Why did you have to lie to me!
Sometimes, I don't know who to be angry with,
Or if I'm supposed to be angry at all
I want to blame somebody, I think
Maybe if I had done more...
Maybe if I had been stronger
To me, you were worse than Satan
I want to make you suffer
I wish I had you back
You sent me to that place, the dark one in the back of my head
The only thing that was constant was change
Trapped in a cage there was no escape from
Avoiding you was all I ever did- like the good little coward I was
Why did you make me live in Hell! Was I that horrible!
What did I do to deserve this? Can you answer me that?
And all I feel... is pain, when I think of you
I never fit in, and I think I have you to thank for that
I have dark thoughts that nobody'd ever understand
I felt like I had no personality
I felt as insignificant as a worm to you
I was always noticeably different
I was always trying to fade into the background
I could never keep up with you
I had to steal to survive
I wanted to be taken in... but nobody'd have me
I wanted to escape, but never could
I wanted to impress you, but you made it impossible
I wanted a childhood like everyone else... was that too much to ask?
I realize it's too late to reclaim lost time
What are you going to do to make up for it?
I want to feel comfortable in my own skin
I want to make you hurt and bleed
I want to show you kindness, like nobody else ever has
I want to be powerful; I want to see you, in the End
I want to be somebody new, so I won't think of you
I want to be elegant; I want to be the trash you thought I was
I want to prove them wrong... all of them, even you
I want to be happy, without the thoughts of you haunting me...
