Hey, peoples, I'm back! (Multiple items are thrown at her head.) OW! Okay, I realize I was AWOL. I'm sorry! I've recently gotten obsessed with FMA, and when I get obsessed, it's…not good…

On a happier note, not only is this chapter fairly humorous, it actually drags the plot one step closer back on track! And I actually have Crow and Dove drawn up, so when I get them on the comp, I'll put up the link and let you know.

Dang, I have a problem…I have the beginning and the end of this story done already, but the middle evades me! Help, I need inspiration! So, if any of you would like to help me, please review and give me some ideas! Now, ON WITH THE LONG AWAITED STORY!

Disclaimer: Much as I wish to, I own nothing other than Crow, Dove, and Remando, and I don't even really own them, they were inspired by my friend.

Never Court A Bird
By Lea Cat
6/15/06

"Hey, did you guys hear that there's a flea market going on down town?" Robin asked everyone at the breakfast table the next morning.

"A market of fleas?" Starfire shuddered. "I could not imagine such a horrible image. How do fleas run a market, Friend Raven?"

"It's not run by fleas, Starfire. It's only called a flea market because you can find nearly everything there, including pet fleas." Raven told her without looking up from her book.

Starfire blinked. "So, this market of fleas…is like the mall of shopping?"

"Yup!" Crow smiled. "But it has even more stuff than a shopping mall!"

Everyone watched as Starfire's face began to brighten. "Friends! We must traverse to the market of fleas!"

"…" All eyes turned to Robin, most pleading for him to say no and one pair begging for a yes.

How could he say no to Starfire when she had that expression on? "Sure, Starfire, we can go as soon as we're done with breakfast."

"Boo to the yah!" Starfire cheered. She grabbed Raven's arm as she rushed out, blubbering about how she had to get ready.

If Raven's eyes could shoot laser beams, Robin would have been burnt beyond being ash.

"…" Dove blinked and innocently turned to Crow. "Brother…what's a 'flea market'?"

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Everything was quiet and peaceful…or as quiet as you could get in a busy marketplace.

Sellers shouting out advertisements rang through the crisp morning air. The general contentment of a populace spending money was abruptly shattered as yelling rose above a volume level the sellers couldn't compete with.

"IDIOT! DON'T TOUCH THAT!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN IDIOT, BAKA!"

"DON'T TALK BACK TO YOUR OLDER BROTHER! What the heck does 'baka' mean anyway?" Crow added in a quieter voice.

"It's not my fault you don't know Japanese." Dove huffed. "And besides, even if I did break the glass figurine, I could always put it back together."

"You two are such cute siblings." A stall owner nearby commented.

"WE ARE NOT RELATED!" Dove shrieked with enough force to scare a flock of birds off.

"Oh." The stall owner blinked. "Then you're a very cute couple."

"…" Crow's glare was suddenly redirected at the stall owner. "Are you accusing me of incest?" He asked in a dangerously quiet voice.

The middle aged lady was flustered. "Wha-? B-but she just said-"

Luckily, she was saved from having to answer by the arrival of Raven. "Quit it." She reprimanded Crow and Dove. "You are scaring all the nice people."

And it was true. All people within 15 feet of Crow and Dove, other than the stall owner, had disappeared. Crow and Dove had been unknowingly leaking power. The mixture of black and white energy vanished as quickly as it had formed. "Oops. Sorry." Crow said. He suddenly turned overly cheerful and gave a girlish laugh. "Nothing to worry about, people!" He waved at the crowd. "You can all stop worrying about being fried to a crisp on accident!"

Unfortunately, but not unexpectedly, none of the people took it at face value and continued to give him and Dove a wide berth. "Baka." Dove muttered under her breath. "You only freaked them out more."

Crow turned his attention to Dove. "What does 'baka' mean anyway?"

Raven butt into the conversation. Turning her eyes to Crow, she deadpanned, "You have got to be kidding. 'Baka' is one of the most well known Japanese words."

"Nope!" Crow whistled cheerfully. "Still dunno what it is."

Raven would have slapped herself over the head continually if her self-control wasn't very strong. She settled for whacking Crow over the head.

He blinked a moment before turning to Raven and saying, "You know, it be very much appreciated if you WARNED ME BEFORE YOU DO THAT!"

"…if anything, you should be the one to walk around with a warning label. It can proudly say, 'Warning, yells loudly'." Raven retorted calmly.

"YELLING? I'M NOT YELLING!" Crow shouted, waving his arms in an attempt to emphasize his sentence. The only thing he did was knock a glass vase over.

Dove dove to catch it, grabbing it just before it hit the ground. Sighing in relief, she returned it to its proper place. Meanwhile, Raven continued to calmly deflect all of Crow's insults, further annoying the already pissed off black bird.

"You really should keep a firmer hold on your temper; you're sparking again." Raven droned.

"I DO NOT HAVE A SHORT TEMPER! MY HOLD ON MY TEMPER IS ABSOLUTELY FINE!" Crow screamed, ignoring Raven's warning. Dove was reminded of a three year old throwing a temper tantrum as Crow waved his arms around and knocked more merchandise over.

Diving to catch the fragile items, Dove pondered why her older brother, the one who was supposed to set an example, was always acting so childish. Sighing, she telekinetically began catching all the merchandise and placing them back where they belonged. "Yamano, Baka-kun. You are knocking all the merchandise over."

"-AND WHAT THE HELL DOES BAKA MEAN ANYWAY! AND YAMMY, OR WHATEVER YOU SAID!" Crow yelled, frustrated to the point of pulling his hair.

"It's Japanese. It's not my fault my mother decided to take me to Japan for vacation." Dove calmly shot back. "And it's yamano not yammy."

"I. DO. NOT. CARE!" Crow shrieked.

"Is he always like this?" Remando asked Raven quietly.

"Worse." Raven and Dove droned in unison.

"Ah, Mr. Crow? Um, can we continue shopping?" Remando cut into Crow's rant.

"-AND NO WAY IN HELL WILL I BE SHOPPING WITH HIM! HECK, I DON'T EVEN TRUST THE DUDE!" Crow screamed to the sky.

WHAM!

Crow's rant was abruptly, and efficiently, cut off by a crate smashing against his head. Crow rubbed his head and ruefully glared up at Raven. Opening his mouth to shout some more, he was met with a mouthful of cold water. Dove started giggling as Crow took on a shocked expression. Remando mirrored it.

"What?" Raven shrugged. "He needed it." Dropping the now empty bucket that she had grabbed, she marched over, grabbed Crow by the hand, and dragged him off. Dove and Remando followed.

"Why does Raven seem like the mature one around here?" Remando asked Dove quietly.

Dove paused in her walking.

Confused, Remando turned to ask her what was wrong, only to find her face taking on an adorable pout. "Are you saying I'm immature?" She asked quietly.

"I didn't mean it that way--"

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"Well, team, that was a wonderful trip to the flea market!" Robin said in an overly cheerful voice. It did a one-eighty and dropped to a very serious tone. "Raven, since the damage came from your siblings, you get the damage bill."

Raven was shooting daggers into Crow and Dove, who were both soaking wet. "Oh, don't worry. The bill will get paid." She murmured icily, "Right, Crow and Dove? All 100,000 dollars will be paid in full."

Crow and Dove attempted to shrink behind Remando, an anatomically impossible feat, seeing as both could not fit behind him. "Ah…of course, Raven…the bill will be paid…don't worry…" Two tiny, barely heard voices informed Raven.

"Good." Raven said, her tone informing all present that it would not be her paying the bill.

Whew! That's done and over with! Peoples, I'm really running short on ideas, so share some…and I can't believe I'm doing this…I'm to the point where I'm willing to co-author this with someone. I can't believe I just said that. But really, I'm so frustrated! (And I've seen other stories co-authored…not only did it turn out well, it's updated faster, AND I liked the way they turned out.) So, if you have an idea, review, if you wanna co-author, PM me. You'd have to know a few spoilers, so…yeah…so even if you want to co-author, review first!

Hopefully I'll see you all soon, (As in I update quickly. Most likely not.)

Lea Cat