Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, I don't own Bleach
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Everyone went outside to the back and Kise was kind of well, pissed. Wait, correction: extremely pissed. She eyed all of the people there, and made sure that Yachiru was a good distance away from her. Her parents and all of their friends were on one side of the yard, and she was on the other side. "Kise! Come over here!" Ichigo yelled at her.
"Alright dad!" She stalked over to where Ichigo was. Very slowly. A good ten minutes had passed before she finally stood right in front of her dad. Ichigo stared at her. Hard. "What is it dad?" she said innocently.
"Nothing, never mind," he sighed. "Well anyway, let me introduce you to everyone. Alright, this is Kenpachi Zaraki." He pointed at the guy with the eye patch.
"So you're Kurosaki junior, eh?" he growled. "Hmm, what the hell? No reiatsu comin' from you at all?"
"Uhhhh, reiatsu?"
"You don't know what reiatsu is!"
"Shut up Zaraki!" Ichigo growled.
"What did you say, Kurosaki?" Zaraki growled dangerously.
"I said shut up," Ichigo growled just as dangerously.
The white haired kid, who had been looking bored for a while, suddenly grew excited. "BITCH FIGHT!" he screamed. Everyone turned around and looked at him weird.
Yachiru started jumping up and down. "Yay! Bitch fight!" she giggled.
The lady with the braid that was backwards stared at the both of them in shock. "Kusajishi-fukutaichou! Hitsugaya-taichou!"
"Well, what else do you expect Unohana-taichou?" a bald guy said, shrugging. "The little bra-" Yachiru spun around and glared at him. "I mean, Kusajishi-fukutaichou spends most of her time with Zaraki-taichou, but I'm not sure about Hitsugaya-taichou..."
"Well I'm bored!" Hitsugaya said, stomping his feet and looking like a little kid who had just lost his toy. "And I don't get to torture Rangiku with paper - I mean..." He stopped in the middle of his sentence as a woman more than twice his size (and a chest to match too) appeared in front of him, giving him a look.
"You were saying, taichou?" she said dangerously.
"Well, you're the one that's always sleeping!"
"So? How else can I be well rested?"
"And don't forget, always drinking sake!"
"There's nothing unhealthy with drinking sake all the time!"
"Except when you start wandering around like a lunatic!"
While those two were arguing, Zaraki and Ichigo...well, they were pummeling each other. Kise was standing a few feet away from them, mouth hanging open and everyone else was standing away. Far away. Far far away. Kise couldn't feel the reiatsu coming from them, but everyone else could, and well, they didn't want to.
"And you said it was a good idea to tell Hinamori to make it so no one could sense Kise's reiatsu," Renji muttered to Rukia.
"Correction: it is. There haven't been any hollow attacks on her and that's good enough for us," she hissed back.
"Was that even necessary?"
"Of course it was! Who knows when the Arrancar or Aizen will show up and besides no hollow attacks equals good."
"How much reiatsu does she have anyway?"
"More than me, we know that for sure."
Back over in the little fight..."HEY YOU FUCKING TAKE THAT BACK!" Zaraki screamed at Ichigo.
"WELL IT'S THE TRUTH! HOW THE HELL CAN YOU BE A BADASS WITH A LITTLE PINK HAIRED BRAT ON YOUR BACK ALL THE TIME!"
"KEN-CHAAAAAAN! BEAT ICHI! HE CALLED ME A BRAT!"
"YA SHUT UP YACHIRU! I'M TRYIN' TO DO SOMETHIN' RIGHT NOW!"
While the 10th Division captain and vice-captain were, well... "TAICHOU! YOU TAKE THAT BACK!"
"WELL I DON'T WANNA!"
"IT'S NOT TRUE!"
"YES IT IS! WHAT GOOD ARE THOSE THINGS ON YOUR CHESTS IF THEY DON'T HELP YOU IN BATTLE!"
And naiive little Hinamori just decided to step between Hitsugaya and Matsumoto. "Shiro-chan, Matsumoto-san, please sto - "
"GET OUT OF THIS HINAMORI!" Matsumoto snapped.
"DON'T YOU YELL AT HINAMORI!"
"AND WHAT IF I DO!"
It was Hitsugaya's turn to snap. "I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU DO!" He whipped out a katana and screamed, "BANKAI! DAI GUREN HYOURINMARU!" All of a sudden, ice appeared out of nowhere and engulfed the whole yard. Hitsugaya was seen standing in the middle of the ice, looking extremely pissed off. He was still holding something, but it wasn't just a regular katana anymore. The cross guard of his katana had been in the shape of a golden four-pointed star, but now it was a huge multi-pointed golden star. There was ice flaring off his arm and off of his right shoulder, with sort of ice-like wings on his back.
Most everyone was pretty much frozen where they were. Ichigo, Zaraki, and Kise, who were farthest away from him, didn't have much but a few particles of ice stuck on them. Kise turned around and stared wide-eyed at Hitsugaya. "W-w-what happened?" she whimpered, teeth chattering.
"That bastard!" Ichigo growled stomping over to where Hitsugaya was. "Hey! Call off your Bankai! What the hell do you think you're doing anyway?"
"But she started it!" he said, pointing at Matsumoto who was frozen into a huge block of ice with the stupidest look on her face and when Hitsugaya, Ichigo, and Zaraki looked at her, they found themselves bursting into HUGE laughter. They fell on the ground rolling around and well, laughing their asses off. A few minutes later, Hitsugaya's Bankai started dispelling, or whatever the hell you want to call it.
After a while, they stopped their stupid laughter and even though the ice disappeared, everyone was still frozen. Yamamoto, who was inside the house came out and saw the whole thing. After yelling at Hitsugaya for a bit, he had to release his own Zanpaku-Tó to defrost the ice.
When everyone was defrosted, Urahara took out one of his memory replacing things, and used it on Kiseichou, Tatsuki, and Orihime and Uryuu's daughter. After that, they set up the food ane everyone sat down at a huge table. But, Hitsugaya, Matsumoto, Yachiru, Hinamori, and sadly, Kise got kicked out from the table and was forced to...the 'kiddy table.' The food was pretty good (seeing has how Yuzu replaced Rukia's cooking with her own) and just when everyone thought they were full...
The cake was brought out. Everyone's mouths dropped open. Some of them even started drooling. (Yes, the great captains and vice-captains of the Gotei 13 started drooling over food.) It was an ice cream cake with about five layers of chocolate.Chocolate through and through. On the top of the cake, in fudge were the words, Happy Birthday Kise! There were chocolate chips all over it. Everyone was ready to eat it, but they hadn't sung happy birthday yet.
"Sing?" Nemu said, intrigued.
However, there were different...reactions. Like, Zaraki for example. "SING! NO FUCKING WAY ARE YOU GOING TO GET ME TO SING!"
"Nobody said you had to," Ichigo scowled, staring at him.
Rukia, who really didn't need more Bankai being released quickly said to Kiseichou, "Kise, you don't need us to sing, do you?"
Kise was in a daze (side effects from the memory replacing thing), and she just said tonelessly, "No, it's okay."
So, they ate cake. And according to all of them, it was, well, "THE BEST FUCKING THING I'VE EVER ATE!"
They were, well screaming all over the place. "Nanao-chaaaaaaaaan! It's delicious! Come on! Try it! Owwww! Is that how much you hate sugar?"
And the most disturbing of them all, "Nee-sama! Are you okay? Unohana-taichou! What's wrong with him?...He's hyper? Well, I told him not to eat too much cake."
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About half past nine, everyone was barely calming down from the cake. Kise (the side effects were gone) thought they would go home already, but...
Everyone went into the living room. Ichigo went straight to the front door and held it open. Renji went up to him, patted him on the back and said, "G'night Kurosaki." But, instead of going outside, he went up the stairs.
"What? Where're you going!" Ichigo shouted, jumping from the door.
"Where do you think? You were at the meeting right, or where you sleeping again?" Ichigo didn't say anything. "Then you should know, we're not supposed to go home yet. You never know what'll happen."
"I know! But why my house?" Ichigo whined.
"Yes, Kurosaki-san's just moved here. Why don't you all go to my place?" Urahara said, something obviously up his sleeve. But, they didn't notice, with the exception of Yoruichi and Rukia, that is.
So they followed him back to the newly set up Urahara Shōten (a weird sight indeed, thirty-something peculiar looking people following a guy in traditional Japanese wooden sandals). So everyone got settled comfortably into their beds and all after a lot of hot showers (followed by cold ones), and more food. And that night, when Urahara snuck into Byakuya Kuchiki's room, demanding he pay for his fellow Gotei 13 members 'freeloading' on his poor Urahara Shōten, Urahara Kisuke walked away with heavier pockets while Kuchiki Byakuya's were... well, empty.
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A/N: What a weird ending, eh? Hope the OOCness wasn't too over the top :(