Chapter Four

"Hello, Jaime," the man in faded jeans and a sweatshirt said, shaking her hand warmly. "I'm so happy to finally meet you. I'm Mark Conrad."

"Hi," she answered in a very small, frightened voice.

"I know you're pretty scared, but you made the right decision in coming here. What you've been experiencing is a common reaction to severe stress or trauma. It happens to approximately 15 percent of war veterans, and 18 - 20 percent of the victims of violent crime. So, you are not only not crazy, you aren't alone in what's happening to you." Jaime listened in silence, her eyes wide. "I've been working with victims of this syndrome for almost 10 years now, and I can assure you it is very treatable, especially in the earlier stages, which is where I believe you to be. Steve has already outlined what happened for me, but I'd like to hear it from you, in your words, to get a better idea of how the events are situated in your mind."

"I was sent to this place where they thought Steve was a hostage, only he wasn't there - wasn't even in any danger. It was all a set-up. I got shot, right after I got there, and it was pretty bad."

"In your side?"

"Yeah. Once Oscar realized what happened, he sent Steve in to get me out. Before he found me, I...I saw...well, I heard, really..."

"What was it, Honey?"

"They killed a woman; four men just pushed her to the ground and shot her. I couldn't look once I knew what was happening."

"But you heard the shots, saw the after-effects."

"Yes. When Steve got there, he couldn't find me at first, but he saw me just when the guards were about to grab me, and he distracted them, let them take him instead." Jaime wiped the first tears of the session from her eyes. "He left me a pack with food and water in it. And a - a gun."

"Ok. What happened after that, after he was captured?"

"A little later, I saw the same people who'd shot the woman, and they were taking Steve to the same place. I - I knew what they were gonna do...I mean, the blood was still there from earlier."

"That must've been terrifying," the doctor noted.

"I didn't have time to think about what was happening, or what to do. I - I grabbed...the...gun, and...I shot them. All four of them."

"You saved Steve's life."

"But...I - I shot four people."

"Jaime, what happened to the people you shot?" Steve had told the doctor that Jaime had never used the words dead or killed in regards to what happened, and the doctor wanted to see if she'd even processed that part of the event.

"They went down."

"And?"

"And...please don't make me say it. I can't say it!"

"They died, Jaime."

"No-o-o-o." She began to sob, torrents of tears streaming down her face. "I'm not - I couldn't. No!" Jaime got up from the chair and headed toward the door.

"Jaime, you can't keep running from this; that's not how to end it, how to make it stop hurting. Let me help you."

But Jaime was already gone.

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Jaime managed to shut down the whirlwind of emotions before returning home. Steve met her at the door. He'd spoken to Doctor Conrad and knew what had happened, but wanted to hear from her how she thought it went. The doctor said they had made a little progress, in that she was comfortable enough to tell him what happened - to a point.

"How'd it go today?" he asked, hugging her a little longer than usual. She seemed perfectly calm, stoic, even; not like someone who'd just fled a doctor's office in near-hysterics.

"Really good. You were right - he's very nice."

"Well, that's good. When do you go back?"

"I...guess I forgot to make another appointment."

"Jaime, I know what happened."

"So much for doctor/patient confidentiality. You aren't my husband, and you're not a blood relative. He had no right to tell you -"

"I'm the man who loves you, who you're planning to marry, and I'm also in the best position to see what's happening to you every day and help you through it."

"I don't wanna talk about this. I'm tired; I'm going to bed."

"It's only 6:30."

Jaime kissed him lightly. "G'night."

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Steve went to bed himself about four hours later. Jaime was tossing about, moaning softly in her sleep, but didn't appear to be unduly stressed. Steve felt a little better, knowing that at least she'd made a start toward getting help. Soon, he was sound asleep.

The insistent ring of the phone woke him around 1:00am. It was their friend from the neighboring ranch. "Sorry to wake you, Steve," the neighbor began, "but I just drove by your place. Jaime is up on the roof of the horse barn, and she doesn't look too steady."

Oh, God - no. Steve thanked his friend, hung up and made one quick call himself, to Doctor Conrad, before heading out to find Jaime.

The neighbor had been right. Jaime was teetering dangerously back and forth on the roof of the barn, which, with its raised ceilings and steeply sloped roof, put her over four stories up in the air. If she startled, or lost her footing...

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