A/N: I'm not allowed to post the lyrics, and I don't wanna cause any trouble so I won't, but this story is based on Earshot's "Wait." Go and look up the lyrics after reading this. Enjoy!
Chapter 5
What It Means to be Alone
The next morning Mary woke up a little earlier than usual. She rose out of bed and rather than putting on her gray or black dresses, she pulled out a dark blue one that she never wore except when the family was having a party. Instead of twisting her long hair into a bun, she brushed it out, pulled the sides back, and let the rest hang long. She looked at her reflection in the mirror, and for the first time in her life, she didn't see herself as plain. Maybe even pretty.
With an uncharacteristic spring in her step, she walked downstairs, which she found peaceful and empty. The rest of the family wasn't up yet. She walked into the living-room, then wandered over to the windowed double-doors that led to the garden. It was sunny and clear outside, and she noticed that birds were singing and butterflies were flitting about the garden as she pushed the doors open and meandered through the garden.
She spent about half an hour just walking in the garden before she headed back inside. The family still wasn't up, but she did hear the cook clanging in the kitchen. Mary found herself following the well-known way to the drawing-room to play piano. Maybe this time she would play a musette or something. But before she could sit down at the piano, she heard Jane and Lizzy coming downstairs. Actually feeling somewhat talkative, she went to meet them.
"Good morning, Mary. You're up early," Jane greeted when she saw her.
"Oh, yes, well, it's a beautiful day, and I don't want to waste it. Oh, I was out walking in the garden and I saw the most beautiful bird. I'm not sure what it was, though. Maybe it's still out there." Mary noticed her sisters look at each other, half amused, half surprised to hear their reserved sister so talkative.
"What color—" Lizzy was interrupted by their more noisy sisters loudly coming down the stairs.
"I'm hungry! It's already half past eight!" Kitty whined.
"Maybe a little hunger would do you some good," Lydia said as she poked her in the stomach. This brought more whines from Kitty.
Mary shook her head. So much for a peaceful morning.
Noon came and found Mary sitting on the windowsill in the drawing-room, curled up in the sun like a cat, reading. She jumped up when she heard voices just outside the door. It was Mr. Wickham, trying to persuade Elizabeth to go for a walk with him.
Of course, Kitty and Lydia were right there as well, competing for his attention. "I amnever too busy to go walking with a handsome man in a red coat!" Lydia giggled. Then Lizzy quickly stepped in and said that she had a mind to walk with him a little way and sent the younger girls upstairs.
Mary smiled, ran her fingers through her hair to comb it out, then glanced at her reflection in the mirror above the bookcase. Her cheeks had a rosy glow from sitting in the sun, and the blue dress made her eyes look greener than usual. Satisfied, and even pleased, she headed out to meet Elizabeth and Wickham, much anticipating a great battle with her sisters for his attention.
She quickly walked through the house, but not seeing them, she gave up her search and headed back to the drawing-room. After all, it was my playing the piano that attracted him in here the other day. Maybe he will hear it again.
She sat down and began playing, but only for a few minutes. She soon heard Elizabeth's voice outside the door. Still playing, but quietly enough that she could hear what they said, she listened to her sister groan. "Mary is practicing again! She's always at that piano, though it's not exactly pleasant for the rest of us."
Irritated at her sister, Mary listened closely for Wickham's response. To her painful surprise, he laughed. "Yes. Let's take a shortcut through the garden."
Mary was shocked. She thought he cared! She really, really believed him! Well, maybe it wasn't Wickham. Maybe it was someone who sounds like him. I never actually heard them say his name.
She quietly slipped out after them, then headed out the side door that also led to the garden. She would meet them out there and see for herself. Walking around to where they were, she smoothed down her hair once again and then looked up for them. Seeing them, she headed toward them.
Neither one of them saw her. They were engrossed in conversation, laughing and teasing. Elizabeth looked straight at her, but didn't even acknowledge that she was there. Once she met them on the path, instead of stopping to talk as she had intended to do, she kept walking. Never stopping, she pushed the door to the house open, then ran all the way up to her room where she slumped down in the chair by her desk. She rested her head in her hands, but she didn't cry. No, that was yesterday. All she could do today was feel sorry for herself and rebuke herself for letting her guard down.
He's a flirt. That's all he is and all he'll ever be. I knew that. So what on earth possessed me to feel for him like that?
No more, she decided. I was happy enough before yesterday afternoon. There's no reason why I shouldn't go back to that. Even if I am…
Forever alone.
The end.