A/N: Here is chapter twelve. Can't wait to see what you think about it. LOL. And BTW I'm open to suggestions for what I should do in future chapters. Anyway, review please!

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my insane OCs &-Oh yeah! Capybara suggested the plot! So thank you SO much!

Behind The Eyes Of A Juvenile Delinquent by Laura Amanda McConnell

Chapter Twelve: Guilt Has Taken It's Toll

Sandy was kissing Shadow like the world was going to end in three minutes. As she'd been doing for the past hour.

"Oh Shadow..." Sandy moaned.

"Hey Stanny," Pashmina said, "How did you feel when Flora cheated on you?"

"Well Pashy, I felt like my heart got ripped into pieces." Stan explained.

"Aw, I'd never be a b-bleeeeeeeep-h like that!" Pashmina cooed, kissing Stan.

Sandy abruptly stopped kissing Shadow. "What's wrong?" Shadow asked.

"I'm just... out of breath." Sandy said, "Let's go to my room." she whispered.

"Okay." Shadow said, fallowing her.

While kissing on her bed however she began having flashbacks...

FLASHBACKYAY!

"Hey Sands," Pashmina said, "Guess what?"

"What?" Sandy asked.

"Flora cheated on Stan!" Pashmina said.

"No WAY!" Sandy exclaimed.

"Yeah WAY!" Pashmina squeled.

"I can't BELIEVE her! Poor Stan... I'm going to murder her!" Sandy yelled.

"Yeah, I mean how could she do that to him?" Pashmina asked, "Just cause some other guy comes along?"

"I know. I would NEVER do that to Maxwell or any other future boyfriend." Sandy said.

"I know," Pashmina said, "The only good side to this is that maybe I get a shot at him now!"

"Yeah, you go girl!" Sandy said.

ENDOFFLASHBACKCOOLIHATEFLORA!

"Why don't we watch TV?" Sandy asked.

"Shure." Shadow said flipping it on.

"Melissa, how could you have cheated on me? How? I thought you loved me!"

"Turn the channel." Sandy instructed.

"I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR STUPID FACE AGAIN! JUST BECAUSE SHE CAME ALONG, I DON'T MATTER ANYMORE?"

Flip.

"HOW COULD YOU I JUST DON'T GET IT!" a guy yelled from TV, shooting his girlfriend.

Flip.

"It's just... I'm cheating on you."

Flip.

"Your WHAT?"

Flip.

"Your girlfriend's cheating on you."

Flip.

"Hey, are there any losers who cheat on their hot boyfriends watching this?"

Flip.

"I promise George, I will NEVER cheat on you!"

Flip.

"A SCANDAL! HE CHEATED ON HER!"

Click. Sandy turned off the TV in a rage. "Let's not watch TV." she said to Shadow, "Why don't you take me out?"

"Ooookay." said Shadow who was getting wierded out.

In the car Sandy started flipping radio stations.

"Heartbreaker you got the best of me, but I just keep on coming back-"

Flip.

"Check my vital signs & know I'm still alive & I walk alone. I walk alone I walk alone."

Flip.

"Why do you have to be a... heartbreaker."

Flip.

"You gave me a mountain-"

Click.

"Why is every song that plays on your motorcycle depressing?" Sandy half joked.

"Maybe your just depressed." Shadow said, "I'm sure some shopping will cheer you up!"

"I guess." Sandy said.

On the front of the mall it said, 'YOU'LL NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH YOU MISS SOMETHING UNTIL IT'S GONE.'

Sandy's breath caught in her throat. "Let's go inside." she said. They walked inside & Sandy heard some girl say, "Thank you SO much Keith! Your the best boyfriend EVER!"

Sandy rushed past them.

"I can't believe she cheated on him!" another guy said, coming out of the movie theater.

"I know!" His girlfriend agreed, "I would never do that."

Sandy rushed past them also.

"How depressed do you think he'll be when he finds out your cheating on him Jill?"

"I don't know. He'll probably be really upset."

Sandy rushed past THEM!

"I HATE unloyal people!"

Sandy was practically running through the mall now. She felt like everyone was glaring at her. "I'm... I'm... I'M SORRY!" she screamed & she ran to Shadow & began sobbing on him.

Shaodw just looked confused.

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Amanda was sitting on her bed drinking a soda & writing a report for school on her laptop (which was starting in a week) (A/N: LOL, that's EXACTLY what I'm doing except I'm writing this.) while Billie watched her. He couldn't stop thinking about his dream. 'Okay, I have to ask her.' he decided.

"Why are you staring at me?" she asked at that moment, "Do I look that awful?"

"No, you look sexy." he told her, sitting down next to her.

She blushed lightly. "Thanks." she said. She was wearing a denim miniskirt with glitter on it & a strapless pink crop top with pink high heels, "That's sweet." she wrapped her arms around his neck & hugged him.

'Okay, screw asking her.' he thought, 'God, what is this spell she has me under. It isn't... love? Is it?'

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"Okay," Gerard said, "I think I'm going insane. Why am I remembering my assasin days?"

FLASHBACK

"A guy like you needs a job, right?" a voice from the shadows said.

"Yeah." A thirteen-year-old Gerard answered, "What are you offering?"

"Kill him." the man instructed showing him a picture.

"Why?" Gerard asked, stumbling back.

"Because it's your job. Now take it," he thrust a bag of handgrenades at him, "Or leave it."

"I'll do it." Gerard sighed.

When a year passed Gerard was one of the top assasins in his group, espicially since he was turning fouteen shortly. He had been trained with guns & knives. His trademark was heart shaped handgrenades however. And one day his life became wierder...

His thirteen-year-old sister Amanda had walked into the room & he thought she looked so hot. She walked in & hugged him & he blushed. "Why am I blushing?" he wondered, "She's my freaking sister!"

By the time he turned fourteen, he was in love with her. It hurt him more then words could describe. It was killing him. So when Mike ran away, Gerard went with him.

ENDOFFLASHBACKGODIT'SHARDTOWRITEGUILTSCENES!

"I need to get out of here." Gerard moaned, walking outside & getting in his car. Thoughts whirled around his mind a million miles per minute.

'The only way you could help was if you threw a handgrenade & killed Adrienne!'

'You killed me.'

'You killed her.'

'You killed her.'

'You killed her.'

'Your a murderer! Go to hell!'

'You were a selfish b-bleeep-d!'

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" he yelled.

'Touche, touche.'

'You know you did it for your own benifit.'

'You didn't care about anyone else.'

'You didn't even care about Amanda.'

'The only girl you've ever loved.'

'The only one that will never love you back.'

"STOP IT!" he yelled, grasping his head.

'How could you?'

'What would Amanda say if she found out?'

'You really think she'd pat you on the back & congratulate you?'

'You think THAT would win over her heart?'

'Man, you should write '101 ways to win a woman's heart over'! That was sarcastic you know.'

'Your pathetic.'

"YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HER!" he screamed.

'And neither do you.'

"What's THAT supposed to mean?" he demanded.

'I think you know.'

"NO! NO! LEAVE ME BE!" he shouted.

'And you had no concious! You just murdered a woman & you go home & laugh with your sister & peel potatoes with your mom righ after?'

"IT WAS A JOB! I WAS TRAINED TO DO IT!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.

'So you've gone & became a cold-blooded killer?'

"NO! THAT WAS IN THE PAST! I DON'T DO IT ANYMORE!"

'Has it made you heartless?'

"No... no... NO! IT HASN'T! YOU DON'T KNOW ME!"

'I know you better then you.'

"NO! YOU DON'T! YOU DON'T KNOW S&$&!" he shouted, before falling on the ground, unconcious.

When he became unconcious he slipped into a dream sort of land.

"Finally," Adrienne said, "Your here."

"What do you want with me?" Gerard asked.

"I just want to torture you a tiny little bit." Adrienne said, straddling him, "Make you feel guilty." she licked the side of his face & he cringed.

"Hey, your not deformed anymore." Gerard said. He found her quite pretty now.

"No. I only did that to decieve you." she said, licking his earlobe. But this time he didn't cringe.

"I'm... I'm... what's happening to me?" he asked.

"Guilt has taken it toll." she said, kissing his neck.

"What are you doing?" Gerard asked.

"I've always kind of liked you." Adrienne admitted, kissing him hard on the lips.

"Why? I killed you." Gerard said.

"Yeah, I know. But your hot." she said, unbuttoning his shirt.

"This is what you wanted me for?" Gerard asked, "As your sex toy?"

Adrienne laughed shrilly. "No." she said, throwing him onto the bed that had magically appeared, "I'm making you feel guilty, aren't I?"

"Yes." he said.

"That's what I'm trying to do." Adrienne said.

"Why now?" Gerard asked.

"Because I'm in love with you." she said, snaking her toungue into his mouth.

Gerard felt a pang of guilt shoot through him. She seemed so nice. Why had he killed her? "You love me?" Gerard panted.

"Yes." she said, throwing her head back, "I've been watching you a long time."

Gerard felt even guiltier.

"Don't you get it." she said, taking off her shirt, "I want you."

Gerard's guilt was hurting him. The pain shot through his body in every direction. She was making him want her, but as he wanted her more the more the guilt he felt.

"Do you want me?" she asked.

"Y-yes."

"Do you feel guilty?"

"Y-yes." Gerard said.

"Are you going to have me?" Adrienne asked him.

"Y-yes!" he said, grabbing her & kissing her hard. His hand went up her skirt & he kissed her harder.

But the pain & pleasure were so unbearable. The more he was with her, the more he wanted her. And the more pain that was there.

Gerard woke from his unconciousness. His guilt was unbearable. It was killing him. He was falling for her, & the guilt was absolutely killing him. He wanted to die. But he couldn't.

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Even though pain was racking his body, he still couldn't wait to see Adrienne again. When he drifted asleep again the pain seemed to ease slightly.

"Hey," said a voice.

He spun around & saw Adrienne. He grabbed her & kissed her. Apparentally she liked this welcome because she wrapped her arms around him & kissed him back. He threw her onto the bed & straddled her.

"Why are you doing this to me?" he asked her.

"They say the people you love are the people you hurt the most." Adrienne said, moaning with satisfaction.

"Do you really love me?" Gerard asked.

"Yes." she panted.

Gerard kissed her again. "God, I want you so much." he said, kissing her neck.

"Are you in pain?" Adrienne asked.

"Yes." Gerard said, brushing her hair away from her face.

"I'm sorry." she said, "I had to do this. But there is something you can figure out, to stop your suffering."

"Well screw it right now," he said, unzipping her dress & masaging her back, "I want you right now."

"I want you too." she said, kissing him again, their toungues intertwining.

"You know this would never work don't you?"Adrienne said, "We can't be together."

"No, but it works now." Gerard said, kissing her again.

"Good point."

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(A/N: The reason I put the scene above in is because I am trying to make this story more dramatic & intense now.)

"I have to go to sleep." Gerard announced, After an hour of trying he finally fell asleep.

"I was wondering when you'd come visit me." Adrienne said in his dreams, running to him & wrapping her legs around him, kissing him.

"I need you to tell me something." Gerard said.

"Yes?" Adrienne asked.

"I want to know... I want to know why I did that thing four years ago." Gerard said.

"Ah, you figured it out." Adrienne said, "You want to know why."

"I mean, I knew that she would never love me. It's not like I thought doing something like that would make her love me. And I didn't even tell her I did it." Gerard said.

"You did it out of love." Adrienne said, "You did something most people don't do. You valued someone else's happiness over your own."

"Y-you mean I didn't do it out of selfishness?" Gerard asked.

"No." Adrienne said, "You wanted to make everyone else happy. You did it out of love. The day you realized that is the day you will be freed of your guilt. Which means, I have no purpose. My only purpose to come back was to make you feel guilt, to make you feel selfish. To make you feel like you were an awful person. Now that you have discoverd my riddle, I must go back to hell." she turned to leave.

"Wait," Gerard said, touching her shoulder, "I.. thanks." he said.

"It's what I do." she said, & then, she turned to leave again.

"Wait," Gerard said, "I'll come visit you."

"Really?" Adrienne said, "But your suffering is over."

"My suffering is over but I still want you." Gerard said, throwing her on the bed, "Don't go." he said, once he'd straddled her.

"I should go." she said, "But I guess I can make an exception." & then she kissed him.

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(A/N: Was that intense enough for you? Okay, on to the next person.)

Billie lay awake in bed restlessly. An hour ago Amanda had conked out in his arms but he couldn't sleep. He stroked her hair. She looked so sexy when she slept.

He reached over her & grabbed his sleeping pills. Those didn't work either. "Freaking pills." he muttered under his breath, turning on the TV.

"What the hell did Adrienne mean?" he wondered, "Even if Gerard did kill Adrienne... god this f------ing curiousity is driving me insane."

"I have to ask her." he said.

"Hey guys out there, do you feel like your under the spell of your girlfriend?" The guy on TV asked.

"Hell yeah." Billie said, kissing Amanda gently on her lips.

"Everytime you try to ask her about her brother you freeze up?"

"Again, hell yeah!"

"Do you always think she's the sexiest & hottest thing on earth?"

"I already said HELL YEAH!"

"Do you always want to be around her?"

"I'm only going to say it one more time: HELL YEAH!"

"Then you are probably in love with her so: Deal with it." the guy on TV said, "I'm Bob Bryan & I am telling all you, Billie Joe Armstrong, your in love with Amanda deal with it get over it your always gonna love her so tough luck!"

"Okay," he said, flipping to another channel, "Life can get a helluva lot wierder."

He looked at the beautiful, hot, sexy girl next to him. "Amanda," he said, "I guess I'm in love with you."

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The next morning Amanda yawned & streched. "Goodmorning," she said.

"Hey," he said.

"Do the words 'goodmorning' register?" she teased him.

"Technically that's one word." he said.

Amanda laughed. "You got me there." she then kissed him, "Uh, I have to take a shower." she said, getting out of bed.

"Mind if I join you?" he asked.

"No." she said, "Not at all."

While in the shower Billie decided he had to tell her. "Amanda?" he asked.

"Yeah?" she answered, "What?"

"I want to tell you something." Billie said.

"Anything." Amanda said.

"I just want to tell you that I love you more then anything & that I can't live without you & meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me. I really love you Amanda. I just thought you should know." he told her.

Amanda dropped the shampoo bottle, which luckily was not metal, on her foot in surprise.

"I'm sorry, I should probably give you roses & chocolate & stuff not tell you while we're taking a shower but... I'll buy that later, kay?" he asked, "Amanda, are you okay?"

Amanda hugged him. "I'm perfect. And I love you too. I know I should look perfect for you but..."

"No," he said, "Your perfect for me!"

Amanda kissed him. "Thank you." she said, "Hey, when we get married, can I toss the boquet to Sandy?"

Then they both started laughing.

A/N: Okay, that's a rap! What did you think, was it a good mixture? Happy or not? Was it passionate & intense enough? And remember, Kether's coming back next chapter! Well, look out for chapter 13! And remember: REVIEW!