Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Kubo Tite :(
Warning: Lots of OOCness and random crack up ahead!
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"Taichou-chan! There's a Hollow problem in Rukongai!"
"Another one? I'm on it. Tell the others they don't have to bother." The 3rd Division's Taichou quickly walked out. But not before sticking her head inside and saying, "And STOP calling me Taichou-chan!" She briskly Shunpo-ed to the Hollow problem in question.
The Hollow wasn't very big. Well, at least not for her. Being trained by several of the most notable Shinigami in Sereiti's history paid off. In a few seconds the Hollow was cleansed easily. "They called me out for this?" she mumbled to herself.
A shriek of a hollow sounded clearly from another part of Rukongai and she quickly arrived there, only to find many of them done with their attack. It spotted her and said, "Well boys, look at what we have here. The - "
"I need you to cut to the chase." Three of the Hollows were cleansed, sheathing her sword, the 3rd Division's Taichou knew that questioning was in order. "What's with the Hollow attacks?"
"You expect me ju - " The Hollow roared in agony as its arm was swiftly cut off. "You don't want to answer me? Fine. But the next attack will be slow and painful, just to let you know. I'll have your other arm hanging by a thread."
Its eyes narrowed and after a few moments of silence, it appeared to have made a choice. "Why don't you follow me before you speak those big words Shinigami?" A rip in the space around them appeared and the Hollow quickly scrambled through it. The rest followed.
She froze. That leads to the Human World... Memories came flooding in. One in particular she didn't want.
--
By now she could tell when there was a loose Hollow. She could tell when he had control over it.
The geezer had promised! He had promised her that he wouldn't lose control... She ran full speed towards him, grabbing her Zanpaku-Tó quickly. Kangetsu stayed close behind. "DAD!"
He turned around and faced her. The look on his face was a mix of emotions. One that was hungry for a meal, another that looked like he was in pain.
"Can't you fight it? Please?" He flung his arm at her, with Zangetsu in hand, creating a gash on her left arm. It didn't hurt though. All the wounds on her body pretty much cancelled out the pain. She glanced towards her left to see Rukia passed out at the base of a tree. It was up to her now. He had made her promise as well. Without thinking about it any longer, as she might've backed out, she sprung forward, thrusting her Zanpaku-Tó into him.
"I knew it," he muttered as the mask started to dissolve and he fell. She flung Kangetsu as far away as possible and ran towards him, gently lifting him into her arms. Tears dropped from her eyes as rain started to sprinkle around them. "Good job. You did it," he managed weakly.
"No! Don't say it!" she choked out.
"You'll become something. I know that... Try hard for me, won't you?"
"NO! I can't because... you're n-not going anywhere!"
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't try hard enough," he said weakly.
"Shut up old man," she sniffed. "You need your energy." But he didn't reply. The second person that day went limp and still in front of her.
--
Everyone in all of Sereiti had gathered for this, the inauguration of the new 3rd Division Taichou. After all, it wasn't everyday that all of the current taichous in the Gotei 13 had given recommendations for just one person. Not to mention she was the youngest in the history of all the Gotei 13.
Sōtaichō Yamamoto-Genryūsai placed the white haori of the 3rd Division's taichou over her shoulders. "As of now, Kurosaki Kiseichou is the Third Division Taichou!" he said, his voice ringing out for all to hear.
Everyone cheered and Kise grinned, her smile stretching from ear to ear.
But the Commander-General had yet another surprise for them. "And as the new 3rd Division Fukutaichou, Ichimaru Gin!" The fox faced Shinigami appeared in front of the crowd. They went, well wild. Ichimaru Gin had become very well respected in the past few years. After all, betraying Aizen Sōsuke earned some sort of respect, if not awe. And of course, their new taichou was the Butterfly of Death. She had gained much respect in the past year, having been trained by the top Shinigami of the age.
The 3rd Division were the liveliest of the bunch. After all, they were determined they were going to have the best Division from here on...
--
"Taichou!"
"Taichou-chan!"
Kise looked up as what looked like most of her Division came rushing to her side. She smiled weakly at the worried looks on their faces.
"What happened?" Gin asked, standing over her.
"Nothing, it was nothing," she muttered. "Go back to your posts."
Everyone but Gin did as they were told. "Taichou-chan, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I am. Don't worry. I am," she said, getting up shakily.
Gin gave her a look. "I don't think so. Come on." He grabbed her arm and steadied her. "We're going to 4th Division."
"W-wha? N-no way!" Kise struggled in his grasp. It would've been easier to hold her down a few years ago, but Kise had grown in the past two years. She had gone through a growth spurt and become rather tall, not a little shorty like Rukia. And her hair had turned out more orange than black. (A fact that had royally pissed a few Kuchiki members.)
It was difficult, but Gin somehow got her on his back, kicking and screaming. "Gomen Taichou-chan," he said, sounding not sorry at all. "Besides, I think you'll find something very interesting there!"
"LET ME GO GIN!" She pounded on his back while he carried her off to the 4th Division. "ICHIMARU!" She continued to yell as they passed through Rukongai and Seireitei, threatening to demote him, trying to curse him, hit him with Kidou, etc. etc.
No one really tried to help her. They just stared in amusement. Besides, just about EVERYONE knew what was waiting for her at the 4th Division. And there was also the fact that the 3rd Division's taichou and fukutaichou acted like this on a daily basis...
They arrived, but amazingly quiet. After all, Unohana-taichou did not allow for that kind of behavior when her patients were busy resting.
"Ah, Kurosaki-taichou, Ichimaru-fukutaichou! We've been waiting," Isane said grinning, and promptly led them inside.
"Isane-chan! How many times have I asked you to drop the formalities?" Gin said, pouting.
Isane said nothing and the rest of their little walk was in awkward silence. "They're here," Isane said, stopping outside a room. She bowed slightly to Kise and Gin, then walked off.
"How rude," Gin said playfully before walking inside. Kise paused. It was her dad's room. She prepared herself for whatever was in there and followed Gin.
"Oi gaki."
Kise's neck turned so fast there was a echoing crack. There he was. Looking tired and pale, but there nonetheless. Surrounding him was pretty much their whole family. (Including Byakuya himself.) Speaking of Byakuya, he stared at Gin rather... coldly and the fox faced Shinigami didn't need anymore signs to tell he was intruding on a family moment and headed outside. But not before blowing a raspberryat Byakuya.
--
As Kise was crying endlessly, Rukia, who had gained conciousness pulled her away. "B-but - "
"Shhh, Kise," Rukia said soothingly.
Orihime suddenly ran forward, out of nowhere and bent down next to Ichigo. "I reject, Sōten Kisshun!" Two points from one of her hairpins flew out and formed a light orange shield around Ichigo. Some of his wounds began to heal, but it took an excruciatingly long time.
After what seemed like forever, and a parched Rukia, Orihime got up, beads of sweat on her forehead. "Gomen, this is all I can do," she said in a soft voice.
"This is more than enough. Arigatou Inoue," Rukia said before bending down to Ichigo. Nodding to Rukia, Orihime went off to heal some others.
Kise quickly wiped the tears off of her face and knelt next to her mom.
"Ah, Kise. Stop crying," Rukia said. "Besides, it's not like he's dead." Her eyes widened. "He's been through worse... he was just weak. Just weak. And in a coma now... Thank Kami for Inoue..."
The sound of a Zanpaku-Tó being dragged against the mud drew their attention. It was Isshin. He knelt down besides them too. "He's not dead yet," he said softly. "He has a strong will to live..."
"We didn't need you to tell us that," Renji snorted from above them. Almost everyone was gathered over them.
"Excuse me," a pleasant voice said, pushing its way through the forming crowd. It was Unohana-taichou. "Kurosaki-san, Kurosaki-san, Kise-chan. I would think it'd be best for Kurosaki-taichou there to be brought back to Soul Society."
Isshin got up. "Hai."
"Come, everyone. We'll need everybody's help to get the injured back to Soul Society." Everyone quickly dispersed and Rukia and Kise were left to haul Ichigo to Soul Society.
"It's ironic," Rukia said, staring at the dark sky.
"What is?"
"Well, all three of us have now had an unpleasant encounter with rain now... You know what I'll tell you about that some other time. Let's get your dad." Rukia grabbed one arm and Kise grabbed the other. Together, they started to drag him back to Urahara Shōten. "Now when he wakes up and asks what the pain in his feet is from, tell him it's from Aizen."
"Uhh... okay?"
"Alright, from now on we're going to stay in Seireitei. Are you okay with that?"
"More than okay! It's perfect!"
--
"GROUP HUG!" Isshin bellowed, pushing his family (which included Byakuya, unfortunately for him, Karin, who was now a Shinigami, Yuzu, who was also a Shinigami, and well - that's it) onto the bed where Ichigo already had a face full of daughter.
"DAD!" Ichigo yelled. But Isshin paid him no heed. He had his arms wrapped everyone, and well, this former taichou wasn't a weakling. It wasn't until Unohana-taichou came in (due to the shrieking of one Kuchiki noble of how Isshin was messing up his carefully prepared hair), and did her scary-but-normal-but-still-totally-scary-that-scared-even-the-stoic-Byakuya that everyone was rushed out. Well just Byakuya and Isshin that was. (They got a talking to from Unohana-taichou.)
When the door shut after the two, Ichigo started cracking up. "So, how long have I been out?" he said casually.
"Two years."
"I see... and what's up with these two?" he asked, glancing at his sisters.
"Well, you see, due to your UNCONTROLLABLE reiatsu leaking out, these two gained a fair amount of reiatsu and passed the Shinigami academy. Yuzu is in the 4th Division and Karin is... in the 11th."
"I see... WHAT THE - "
"Now, now Kurosaki-taichou, you need your rest. You can catch up later," Unohana-taichou said, ushering everyone out. "And Kise-chan, Ichimaru-fukutaichou told me..."
"Oh? That? That was nothing!" Kise said, pulling a forced smile on her face. She made a mental note. Murder Gin later.
"Kise-chan, if you have any problems, you are welcome to go beat Aizen."
Kise raised an eyebrow. "Umm it's okay." Aizen hadn't really... died after the battle. He had been completely frozen inside and outside, but not dead. So, somebody had had the bright idea of keeping Aizen as a sort of... human punching bag. The scary thing was that it had worked out most effectively.
"Well, just know, if you need someone to talk to, the 4th Division is just to heal physical wounds!"
"Come, Kise," Rukia said, grabbing an arm. They started to head towards the Kuchiki Mansion. "Now, what is it I hear about you failing to follow a Hollow and destroy it?"
"It's nothing! N-O-T-H-I-N-G! Why is everyone so goddamn nosy?"
Rukia sighed. "Alright, you know what? Just know this. You're not going to get anywhere like this. At one point or another, you're going to have to go to the Human world. It's not like everything's going to stay all happy and normal. You've got to understand that. So you can't just hide here in Soul Society for the rest of your life. And who knows when that's going to be! Especially when - "
"I get the point," Kise grumbled. They arrived right outside the Kuchiki Mansion and Kise rushed inside before Rukia could say anymore. "We're home, Uncle Bya!"
Byakuya grunted in reply.
"KISE-CHAN!"
There was a loud crash and when Rukia walked in she saw her father-in-law on the ground, whimpering. "Hey gramps," Kise muttered before screaming out, "I'M GOING TO MY ROOM!"
Kise quickly opened the door to her... well probably what you would call insanely huge, but really, this was just one of the 'small' rooms of the Kuchiki Mansion. There were three windows overlooking the 6th Division and a huge king sized bed. The walls were lined with book cases (which were probably a certain uncle's doing...), and a huge desk in a corner. But here and there were the signs that a teenager lived in the room. For instance, posters of normal things from the human world. But all was not well inside this taichou's bedroom. It was a mess. Clothes (not Shinigami type of clothes) were strewn across the room, crumpled paper in a corner, a box with a set of kenseikan tossed on her desk, which was also stacked with messy paperwork. (Work followed her home on numerous occasions.) Ignoring the mess, Kise plopped onto her bed tiredly, snapping her eyes shut before they fluttered open and found a certain busty fukutaichou. "Rangi-chan! I need rest!" she whined.
"Taichou's got a big load of paperwork for me to do! I'm going to need to hide out here. He'll never step anywhere near here!"
"Rangi-chan! I'm tired! Go hide out at... the 9th Division! Tou-kun can't stand the noise there."
"You've got a point," Rangiku said thoughtfully, plopping onto Kise's bed. "But I'd rather be here. Gin said you didn't - "
"Is he telling all of Seireitei I'm too scared to go into the Human World?" she grumbled, sitting up.
"No. More like, you have... emotional problems."
"That little - "
"Now, now, Chou-chan! We're trying to help you! Say, since Ichigo's woken up already, shouldn't you be over this phobia?"
"It's not that easy!" Kise yelled, throwing a pillow at her friend.
"This place is boring. Let's go CELEBRATE!" Rangiku yelled happily. "With... SAKE!"
"Celebrate what now?"
"Ichigo's recovery! Come on!" Rangiku grabbed Kise's arm and pulled her outside.
"But I'm only 15!" she complained.
--
The two of them were running from division to division, informing everyone of the party that was going to be happening... well, point unknown for now, later that night and they were to bring a lot of sake. (What else to expect from Matsumoto Rangiku?) Sōtaichō Yamamoto had looked a bit surprised but accepted the offer, with his creepy fukutaichou at his side, Kise noted.
The 2nd Division visit had been... interesting... "Oi, everyone! Tonight, paar - " Both Kise and Rangiku stopped dead in their tracks at the sight of Soifon and Yoruichi. It was... slightly disturbing...
Yoruichi was sprawled over a ridiculously decorated armchair, sipping milk out of a purple cup and Soifon sitting cross legged on the floor, a carton of milk in one hand the other, scratching Yoruichi's head, which was hanging off of the armchair. "Aa... err... Soifon-taichou, Yoruichi-san, we're having a party tonight... in celebration of Ichigo's recovery," Rangiku said awkwardly, while Kise stared, with her mouth hanging open.
"Oh really?" Yoruichi said. They had gotten her attention. "Where?"
"Well, we still haven't decided on that yet..." Rangiku said, scratching her head.
"I've got it!" Yoruichi shrieked, sitting up, sending most of her milk flying. "My milk!"
"Yoruichi-san, you were saying?"
"Kūkaku! The party's going to be wherever the hell she is! Let us go, Soifon!" Yoruichi pointed outside the door.
"Hai, Yoruichi-sama!" Soifon said obediently. The two were gone in the blink of an eye.
"That was weird..."
"No. It was normal," Rangiku said. Not sarcastically.
The 3rd Division wasn't as eventful. An order from their taichou was enough to send them flying around, getting ready for the party.
The 4th Division... well needless to say, it was more complicated. Unohana-taichou was no where to be found and Isane was too busy to listen to them. Visiting hours were over, it was getting dark, and it wasn't until they found Zaraki did things started to move faster. "ZARAKI-TAICHOU!" Rangiku hollered.
"What do ya want? I'm lookin for that Kurosaki bastard! Not you," he added quickly after Kise had made some signs of reaching for her Zanpaku-Tó.
"Well, we don't know where he is right now, but we're having a party for him tonight!" Rangiku's expression turned into a... sort of scary one. "So he'll be there... tonight... with his guard down..."
Zaraki's expression turned into one of pure happiness and he started cracking up. "Yes, yes..."
But just before he would've started 'muahahahahaha-ing,' Rangiku reminded him of something. "But, it's not going to be a party if no one comes. So, if you could, Zaraki-taichou, tell everyone to come?"
"Come where now?"
"Shiba Kūkaku-san's place! Kurosaki-taichou and I will cover the 6th, 9th, and 13th Division!"
Zaraki was gone in an instant, but not before hollering out, "YOU TWO BETTER GET THE 10TH DIVISION TOO! I AIN'T GOIN NOWHERE NEAR THERE!"
The 6th Division... now they were easy to convince since Byakuya was nowhere in sight (coughrelaxinginhisbigolmansionwithamangainhislapcough).
The 9th Division... it was sort of tough, seeing as how their taichou and fukutaichou were... running around like idiots. "SHUUHEI-KUN!"
"COME ON SHUUHEI-CHAAAAN!"
"OI HISAGI! LISTEN TO US!"
"STOP RUNNING YOU LOSER!"
Kise and Rangiku stopped dead in their tracks. "TAICHOUS! PLEASE, STOP IT!" There he was, poor Hisagi was being chased by his taichous.
"Ummm..."
"Let's just leave," Kise said, turning around. "They'll figure out there's a party sooner or later. MUAHAHAHAHA!"
When they stopped in front of the 10th Division, Rangiku... was a bit hesitant. "I'm NOT going in there. Nuh-uh. Have fun convincing my taichou!" She skipped off without a moment's hesitation towards the 13th Division.
"Meanie," Kise muttered before striding into the 10th Division. She threw open the door to the taichou's office to find Hitsugaya with his legs sprawled onto his desk, sleeping... and snoring like there was no tomorrow.
"Tou-kun!" Kise said in a sing songy voice. "Oh, Tou-kuuuunn! TOU-KUN!"
"A-a-ano?" His legs slipped from the desk and his head promptly bashed onto the desk.
Kise started cracking up. "You LOSER!" She fell onto the floor, in a fit of laughter.
"Hey!" he yelled, a slight blush on his face. "Shut up!"
"Well, anyway, we're... haha... having a party for my dad tonight! At Shiba Kūkaku's place! Come or you'll be the only one in the Sereiti!" she practically sang, skipping outside.
--
All of Sereiti was empty. Everyone was at Kūkaku's place, which was interesting, to say the least. The fireworks specialist had prepared some to go off later while everyone was enjoying the sake that numerous people had brought. Most everyone had gotten a dose of some sake, which resulted in a lot of drunk Shinigami.
"I looooveee you!" Rukia yelled, swinging around a bottle.
"I loveeeeee you too!" Ichigo yelled, spinning around, his face glowing different shades of red. "And I love you too Ishida!"
"KUROSAKI! I love you tooooooo," Uryuu drawled, slipping on the grass. "Oooh, what pretty green stuff..."
"Uryuu-kuuuun, what about me?" Orihime tripped over one of his legs and landed on him. "Hmm.. you smell good." Orihime and Uryuu lived in the Human World, but they had gotten invited to this party. To have some fun, drink sake, and confess 'feelings'... The sad part was their daughter had gotten dragged to the party as well. They couldn't find a babysitter, you see. (Not that she went anywhere near the sake. It was 'too stinky' for her.)
"Soifon, don't drink the sake!"
"Hai, Yoruichi-sama!"
"Have some of my milk instead!"
"YORUICHI-SAN!" The two of them turned their heads to who else then... Urahara Kisuke! "You don't visit me anymore," he sniffed, attempting to hug her. "I'm so lonely in the Human Wooorld!" Urahara had stayed in the (obviously) Human World, and had surprisingly opened a chain of Urahara Shōtens. Yoruichi was too busy hanging with out with Soifon and all which resulted a sad Urahara.
"Back off of Yoruichi-sama!"
"Come on Soifon! You're so stiff!" Soifon and Urahara started to fight drunkly (Soifon had had spiked milk) while an amused Yoruichi watched.
"GIN!"
"RANGIKU!
"GIN!"
"RANGIKU!"
"Hi." The two sat down on the soft grass and stared up into the starry sky. "Hehe I think I see Uranus!" (What could've been a romantic evening...)
"Well... I see... MARS!"
"Huh?" The two continued to talk nonsense while dripping sake everywhere. They never had any time to themselves due to their taichous always forcing work on them.
"You know what we should do Rangiku?" Without waiting for an answer Gin went on. "We should make our taichous PAY! MUAHAHAHAHA!" Then he fell over, snoring.
"SAKE!"
"SAKE!"
"SAKE!"
"SAKE!"
"TAICHOUS! NOOOO! DIDN'T I TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED THE LAST TIME I HAD SAKE?" Hisagi was being chased by his taichous. They were attempting to shove sake down his throat. And unfortunately for him, they had decided that they were going to get their own fill of it after he had some. To anyone who asked, Hisagi would've said his life was a noisy living hell, but everyone knew he loved his happy, happy life. (And his taichous were more than happy to torture their fukutaichou.)
No one knew how, but Byakuya Kuchiki had had some sake somehow and he was now dancing around shouting, "HOKAGE! I'M GOING TO BE HOKAGE! Wait... NO I'M GOING TO BE KAZEKAGE! I'LL BE THE NEW HOT GAARA! Except, my name's NARUTO! DATTEBAYO!" Someone's manga had had a bad influence on usually cold Kuchiki...
"KUROSAKI! DIIEEEE!" Fortunately for the recovering Ichigo, someone had slipped Zaraki a dangerous amount of sake and he was now slicing at thin air with a slightly older (looking) Yachiru sitting on his shoulders.
"KEN-CHAN! Nooo! Over there!" she pointed at the grass.
"DIIEEEE!" He continued slicing away, this time at the grass. Well, they both still had a horrible sense of direction.
"Come on, Yumichika, have some sake!" Ikkaku swung his bottle around wildly and Yumichika had to duck the flying sake.
"No! It's bad for my pores!"
"Meh. More for me," Ikkaku grumbled, downing his bottle. Those two... were... well the same as ever. Yumichika still had an unhealthy obsession with himself. Ikkaku... was still... Ikkaku!
The Kurotsuchis... were well, such party poopers. They weren't into the mood at all. Isane was with her sister (Kiyone) and Sentarō. She was trying to get the two of them to stop drinking, as they had reached a dangerous amount but ended up giving up and had joined them in their drinking contest. Shunsui was trying to get Nanao to drink some of the sake while Nanao was trying to get Shunsui to stop. All in all, everyone was doing something that involved sake in one way or another.
But both Rangiku and Gin were now trying to sneak up on their taichous, who were just trying having a normal conversation with each other (Hitsugaya was too busy glancing at Hinamori to make sure she was alright), when Rangiku and Gin just popped out of nowhere and dumped bottles of sake on their taichous. "AAAHHHH!" both of them yelled and fell onto their backs (courtesy of their fukutaichous).
"DIE TAICHOU! I mean... EAT SAKE TAICHOU!"
"No Rangiku! It's DRINK SAKE TAICHOU!" They were both dripping as much of the drink as they could into their taichou's mouths.
"Time for you to get DRUNK FOR ONCE! MUAHAHAHAHA!" After several sake bottles, the two of them got up, stumbling a bit.
"I feel diiizzyyyy!"
"Hehehe being drunk is fuuunn!" Just as they had gotten up, someone's cell phone went off.
"There's a veerrry bad Hollow problem in the Human world!"
"Weeee! LET'S GO! DATTEBAYOOOO! To zee gatee!" In the blink of an eye, everyone was gone. They were all heading towards the gate that led to the Human World.
"HOLLOW PARTY! THIS IS AWESOME!"
They arrived in an instant, outside what a squealing Isshin revealed to be Karakura Town! And as it turned out, there really was a very bad Hollow problem. Everyone flew off in different directions and well, drunken Shinigami turned out to be kick ass Shinigami.
Kise hopped over to a spot where the Hollow that she had let go turned out to be. "It's you!"
"You're drunk?"
"Bleeh. You go bye-bye!" With a swing of her Zanpaku-Tó it was gone. She was also a bit too drunk and... not.. focused enough to dodge an attack from another Hollow, sending her flying into the ground.
"H-hey! Are you okay?"
Kise looked up to see a familiar figure running over towards her. "K-kouruichi?"
--
Somewhere, high up in the sky, maybe another plane or dimension, Kuchiki Hisana and Kurosaki Masaki sat together looking down, with a big bag of popcorn between them. They shared a brief glance before looking down again saying, "Here we go again."
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A/N: A long chapter for the last chapter! ;D Thanks to everyone who reviewed! And special thanks to aznpinayshinigami and mochi rabbit for following this to the end! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, hoped you liked it :D