Hey, I'm updating a bit early since I might not be on tomorrow, and maybe for a while after. This is going to be the final chapter, okay? I know, we all want it to be longer, but it won't get extended.

...so, will Lyn and Florina find each other, making sweet love in the night as this turns into an M-rated fic? Or is there going to be people starting to emo on the new carpet I rolled in? Or does Elibe get pissed at me and blow up? Find out in the final chapter!

If Only I Could

Finale

Florina had been flying for three days, searching for Lyn. She had been so busy as a mercenary that she had never learned until a day ago that Caelin became part of Ostia and that Lyn had left for the plains.

She had returned after these three years, making up her mind to tell her what had really happened that day in the forest, hoping for Lyn's acceptance of her apology. To any lengths Florina would go for Lyn. She spent half of her latest pay on an expensive bouqet of flowers from all over Elibe for Lyn, all of the Sacaen woman's favorites.

"...I'm coming for you..." Florina whispered as she soared in the night sky. She had yet to decide whether to use Lyn or Lady Lyndis.

As she flew above the plains of Sacae, she searched for any tribe to ask about the Lorca. Then, shefound a group of nomads camped for the night. Florina had Huey dive down, and to her joy, spotted Guy and Rath, both from the Kutolah tribe as she dismounted. "Guy! Rath"

Rath looked up and merely nodded, resuming his conversation with his father. The swordsman was more friendly, though. "Florina! Besides Rath and some visits from Matthew, there hasn't been any contact from others reaching out here in Sacae!" He was dressed in his blue robe as usual.

"...what? But how about the Lorca and Lyn? She hasn't reached out to you and Rath?"

"...come with me," Guy muttered, walking away. Florina followed, confused. As they walked, clouds had been gathering and were now as black as the sky was.

They had reached their destination. Florina gave a shudder. No...

"This is where she lies forevermore," Guy sadly claimed, "returning to Mother Earth. This is her grave." Instead of a tombstone, there was something that would always mark her final resting place, no matter how long the ages past. The Mani Katti and Sol Katti had been stuck in the ground.

"The swords mark the end of the grave," Guy explained, "and who lies here. No one can take those two blades out but her, after all..."

"...but...how...did she..." Florina could not bring herself to say the words.

"After her grandfather died of old age, she abdicated the rule of Caelin to Ostia and rode to Sacae alone, when she found the Lorca, who had returned in size by a small margin. She fought the current leader for the command of the tribe and emerged victorious easily. However,the Lorcastuck to the traditions of a male ruler, even as her father's last descendant stood before them. So the man who was defeated remained the leader. The Kutolah know this because several months ago, the Lorca fused with our tribe, their numbers dwindling again."

"That was a year ago. She left, and just a day ago, we found her. Wedefinitely knew itwas no bandit that struck her down. She must have been fatally ill. So weak that without someone else to help her get the herbs required, she could do nothing but lie down where she was..." Florina felt guilty. All Lyn would have needed to survive would have been another person.

"But we knew Lyn had a strong body as well as spirit and herbs weren't that far away. She could have gotten them...we're clueless as to this part."

"...she lost the will to live," Florina muttered to Guy in disbelief. "She was always so bright, so cheerful, and she lost her spirit...she saw no point in living..." A tear slid down Florina's face.

"She must have given up completely on life...what could have driven her to this?"

"Prejudice and horrible traditions across Elibe," Florina answered, feeling torn apart inside. Would this have happened if she had not shattered their heats three years ago?

"...and so has the last of the bloodlines of Caelin's Marquesses and Kutolah's first leader passed. A great swordsman and a hero that saved us from the dragons," Guy spoke. He turned to Florina. "But to you, she means more." It started raining heavily.

"What? Y-yeah...my best friend..."

"...Matthew told me," Guy admitted. "He told me about what had happened that night in the forest..."

"Why did he tell you? I thought he understood."

"He did. I gave my word, and a Sacaen never breaks it, to not tell anyone else. Also, I am his closest friend and confidante. Not to mention that it was to make me understand both of us were not alone...Florina, you, Matthew, and I have had similar yet different situations."

"How so?"

"You see, you already know the tale of Matthew and Leila. Us three all know your story, too. Both ended with the death of one, yet both chose different ways. You chose separation, he chose keeping together. Priscilla and I...we were never going to have a chance. I'm a Sacaen and a mercenary. She's a noble. I have sworn to never see her again, and I long to see her, yet I can not. I chose separation, like you."

"But she is still alive. Why did you choose never to see her again?"

"...if I returned every once in a while, it would make it worse. Each time, we would be reminded of the way we can never be together, no matter how many times I come. Every time I must leave, every time we face separation again...and I would not run off with her. Too dangerous. You understand, I think..." Both were silent for a while.

"...I wonder, which way is better, then?" Guy asked. "The separation or the staying together?"

"...never in my life will I find out," Florina replied. "And I'm not sure I want to." Guy nodded.

"I'll let you be alone now," Guy decided, returing to his tribe. Florina stared into the grave. Just like Lyn stared into the lakes. Both saw a reflection. Lyn saw her appearance, and Florina saw her past decisions. She felt so idiotic, remembering something Matthew had told her. He said that no one in the army would care, though most outside would...

No one in the army...she could have gone to anyone if Lyn's grandfather had thrown them out. Yet she was too blinded by what she had known especially in Illia and Lycia about people's feelings about pairings of the same gender, as well as the vision she had of being at Lyn's graveyard when they nearly kissed. Ironic how that turned out...

These old traditions...they tore apart everyone's lives. Guy's Florina's, Lyn's...she was sure that thousands of others lived in the same torment on Elibe. Florina recalled something Eliwood had once said. Hector would fight against everyone's opinions against him, and make sure people knew what he was like before giving their final, permanent judgement. She was told he was popular and well-liked amongst the Ostian citizens now.

Eliwood had said Lyn gave up, letting them take control of her life. Florina would try and fight against them, to stop what had happened to them, and Guy, from happening to anyone else...

Lyn...the kind, hopeful woman yet inside struggling against the world, its inhabitants' rules set against her who in the end despaired. The smart, resourceful healer yet stubborn, recklesss, wild swordfighter. Lyn, the one who loved riding the earth and flying the skies. Lyn, the noblewoman of Caelin and the true heir to the leadership of the Sacaen Kutolah tribe...

"I love you...Lyn," Florina whispered, setting the flowers down on the grave. She waved farewell to Guy and Rathbefore having Huey fly again for an hour or two more before sleeping...she wanted to be alone that night.

As she was in the sky, Florina did not remember all the times she flew with Lyn behind her. She had questions in her head instead. If only I could have listened to Fiora from the start...if only I could have told Lyn I loved her earlier...if only I could have remembered that no one in the group would care...

Four words haunted her mind for the rest of her life, whether eating lunch or giving a speech about certain traditions.

If only I could...

"We have now mourned the loss ofthe member of the Lorca,Lyn," Dayan, the Silver Wolf, spoke somberly. "And...yet we must continue our lives as normal. The ground has hardened enough from yesterday's rain. Our horses will just make steep marks into the ground. We ride now." They mounted and their horses galloped across the fields.

As they rode, their horses stampeded into the ground, leaving deep imprints. At one point, the hooves pressed against the flowers Florina had layed down on Lyn's graveyard. They were not destroyed but instead pushed into the ground, embedded into the grave as the sun shone down.

A/N: Well, so endsthe fic If Only I Could...

Florina: You're supposed to italicize it.

Me: Shut up. I do as I please. Go cry at Lyn's dead body while the effects stay on both of you, won't you? I'm talking to my readers.

Just because this fic is over doesn't mean you can't review it! Oh, and so you know, I take requests or challenges. If you send me a pairing request that's incest, yaoi, or yuri, it better have a reason to support it. There is no way I'm taking in something as illogical as Matthew/Guy, Kent/Sain, Ninian/Nils, or Rath/Wil. Raven/Lucius would be okay, though. And nothing above M!