Author's Note: Content warning. And this is where things get better.

Chapter 18 (Pretty, Little Cuts)

Kita wandered back to her room, preparing herself for another evening of trying to forget and lose herself in a book, a movie, or a song. She had just finished a very late dinner, if the tiny scrapes of noodles she consumed could even be classified as a meal, and she was ready to get back to cloistering herself from everyone as she had done the day before and the day before that, after Akito had finally woken up and left because he had business to attend to.

She shuffled into the room, her bare feet sliding on the front of her purple yukata, the one Akito had given to her. She had barely managed getting dressed that afternoon and she certainly wasn't in the mood to dress like she was going somewhere because it wasn't like she could go anywhere so she had just haphazardly thrown on the yukata and began another day of misery.

Just as she was about to shut the door, Kureno appeared in front of her and held his hand in front of the door to keep it from closing.

"Akito wants to see you." he told her, seeming a bit tired. It was late after all and he always gets up so darn early.

Kita nodded. She knew it was only a matter of time before he would ask to see her again. She was actually expecting him to call for her yesterday or the night before that but maybe he just wanted to give her some time to think things over. But that didn't sound very much like something he would do...

Kita walked slowly out into the hallway and up to his door, her head down the entire time. What does he want from me now? She wondered melancholily as she stood in front of the door. What more could he possibly want? He has everything, doesn't he? Except a loving mother...well, and total compliance from all the Zodiac members...and sometimes he must feel like he doesn't even have me. Kita's eyes broadened at the revelation. He really is alone, she thought, now determined to see him. He must want someone to be with him.

Kita slid open the door and blindly walked into the dark room, a glowing full moon visible through the large window above. The sitting room looked fairly normal from the table and cushions in the corner to the futon now rolled out on the other side of the room. In the center of the room, the heater was running on max making gargling sounds as the warmth diffused through the space. Everything was as it should be, except that Akito wasn't there.

She heard another door open but her eyes remained unadjusted to the darkness of the room so she could not tell which door had been opened. Suddenly, she felt two cold hands sliding around the small bones of her pelvis as her body was brought back a little to rest against his familiar gaunt frame.

"Kita, I've missed you." he whispered into her ear as his hands trailed up to her waist, which had become almost sickeningly lean since she had first come to live there.

Kita commanded herself to not allow him to manipulate her. I can't forgive him, she told herself. Just keeping believing that he doesn't love you. Imagine him beating you or imagine what happened three days ago, just please don't think about him comforting you and especially not about him loving you.

He carefully turned her body to face him and, taking her cheek into his long hand, he placed a gentle kiss on her lips, warming her insides and causing her mind to be freed from the thoughts she was using to weigh herself down. He was hard to resist when he acted so lovingly. It was a curse.

Akito broke the kiss and rested his chin on her shoulder, tracing the shell of her ear with his tongue. "The first time got messed up so here's our chance to make up for it," he mused as he ran his fingers down her back. With another soft whisper, his hot, lustful breath against her ear, he murmured, "I love you, Kita."

Sharply interrupting the moment, the door behind Kita opened and as light poured in from the hallway Kita was able to make out Hatori standing there, still decked out in his lab coat and looking like he had gone through a rough day. Akito sighed angrily as he lifted his chin off her shoulder and turned towards him.

"Why are you here?" he asked, not exactly rudely but certainly not welcoming. It was way too late for visitors, especially when they disrupt.

Hatori walked into the room and took a seat at the table as he spoke.

"I have to discuss something with Kita. It's sort of a private subject." he said, folding his legs and making himself comfortable on the cushion.

Akito didn't like that answer.

"What private matter could you have to discuss with her that I couldn't hear too?" he asked as he slowly approached the table, shoulders in their usual hunched manner.

"I was going to inform her of the potential negative side-effects of those pills I prescribed, just in case she ends up having a reaction to them." he said, professionally.

Akito sneered down at Hatori, feeling particularly in power at that moment because usually he had to look up at him.

"Well, if that's all then I'll just stay." he said, sitting down across the table from him. "Unless you have any objections, Kita." he said, glancing over at her pointedly.

Kita shook her head.

"Good." Akito said, smiling mischievously. He wasn't prepared to let this minor intermission put his intentions on pause. He patted the cushion next to him as if to tell her to sit down and, of course, she did, taking extra steps to ensure that her yukata would stay closed as she sat.

"Proceed." Akito said to Hatori as he discreetly placed his hand on Kita's knee.

"As you may have already heard, those pills were legalized only a few years ago because of the fear of the complications they could cause but at your age there is an extremely slim chance of any of them affecting you." Hatori explained.

Kita nodded, having already done research on them for a school assignment a few years ago but she didn't want to mention that. She knew that whatever she said, he's her doctor and he has to give the speech to her. She just didn't have to listen.

Akito, getting bored with Hatori's lecture, decided to keep himself entertained by sneakily slipping his hand under Kita's yukata and running it up her bare thigh. Kita momentarily stiffened her back in surprise. Intrigued by her response, he moved his hand up a little higher so that it made contact with the outer folds of her labia causing Kita to involuntarily jerk forward, bumping into the table during her spasm.

"Kita, are you alright?" Hatori asked, confused.

Kita bit down on the insides of her cheeks and gripped the edge of the table as Akito began to gently rub her clitoris, a wide smirk extending across his face as he did. Kita wanted to stand up or swat his hand away but he had control over her and she found that she could barely move.

"Y-yes, I'm f-fine." she stuttered, trying to keep her facial expression stoic. "Just f-f-finish with the list of p-problems p-p-please." She could feel the fiery damp heat creeping up her cheeks mirrored in another part of her body that Akito was now very acquitted with.

As Hatori went on, Akito continued his shameless display of dominance over Kita, moving his hand in such a way that she could barely keep quiet and he knew it. The thought of the command he had over her almost simulated the satisfaction of her touching him in the way he was doing to her. It was an exhilarating feeling he had no intention of giving up until they had both reached their ends.

"...so if you have any problems make sure you call me right away." Hatori finished. Kita almost gave a sigh of relief that he was leaving.

"Don't worry Hatori." Akito said, that lewd smile still plastered on his face. "I'll make sure she's okay." He pulled his hand away from her and Kita let out a long breath she had been holding practically the entire time.

Hatori gave a slight nod, a tad disbelievingly and left the room.

Once the door was shut, Kita stood up and walked over to the window to look up at the bright moon above. She wasn't sure what she wanted to happen. A part of her was saying, you should cry and run back to your room to get away from Akito, who doesn't really love you outside of your physical appearance and your fear, and force him to leave you alone for a few more days so you can think things over more. The other part of her was saying, if he wants to make up for what he has done, let him. He loves you and wants you and don't you want him too? I don't know.

Akito walked up behind her again, his hands placed on her waist and his smooth voice asking, "What's wrong, Kita? I know you want this too. You can't tell me you didn't forget your underwear on purpose."

Kita flushed crimson. The truth was, she had been getting absent-minded in the past few days and she didn't have time to put any on when Kureno told her to go see him but she knew if she told him that, he wouldn't believe her.

Slowly, his right hand began to move up towards her chest. Kita closed her eyes but this time it wasn't out of torturous apprehension, but out of thrilled anticipation. The hand slithered under the robes of her yukata and cupped her breast, teasingly stroking the sensitive nipple. Kita leaned her head back against his collarbone, the sensation proving itself to be difficult to escape.

"Stop..." she asked hoarsely, the word drawn out to imply that she wanted everything but for him to stop.

Akito's salacious smirk returned. "You don't want me to stop." he told her, reveling in his new sense of potency. "I felt how wet you are just minutes ago."

Kita tried to be shocked but decided that she deserved the remark. The question returned to her mind: you want him, don't you?

His hand that was not lost underneath her clothing went to work at loosening her belt so that the fabric warmed by their body heat started to fall away from her, uncovering her body to the colder temperature of the room. He turned her towards him and leisurely slipped the material off her shoulders so that it clung low on her hips, exposing her top half to him. Greedily, he bent forward and took one of the hardened nubs into his mouth, sucking gingerly and running his tongue around the circumference of the areola before flicking it across the tip. Meanwhile, his fingers went to work at sliding the rest of her robes off her legs so that they pooled around her feet, his hands caressing her backside and her thighs as the garments were removed.

Kita ran her fingers through his dark, silky hair as shivers were sent down her spine. She was trying to hide how naked she felt and how nervous she was but he could still sense her inner turmoil. That other voice had made an appearance in her mind, telling her that she can still get out of it; she could still run away. But she didn't want to run away and not just because of the fear of a punishment for leaving...

Akito made his way back up to her lips, first stopping to kiss her collarbone and the base of her neck, a part of her that she was always cautious about letting people touch. He slid his tongue into her mouth and she eagerly entwined it with her own. The kissing she could do, it was everything else she was worried about. Does he really love me?

Akito moaned into her mouth and pulled her closer to him, his hands outlining the feminine curves of her body. She could feel his desire for her pressed hard against her inner thigh. She winced slightly but only out of shock, not revulsion. She knew it would happen, she just hadn't mentally prepared herself because her mind was racing with its debate, the only conclusion being that she could never be the girl watching from the corner again while he was with her.

He pushed her onto the spongy futon, his hands slamming down on either side of her head. Although he did not break the kiss as his hand flew to the surface of the mattress, she caught a glimpse of something on his wrist. It looked like some sort of slit in his flesh, kind of like the scratch he had given her the day before her father's funeral only his was more prominent and bloodier.

Kita turned her face towards his arm, trying to get his mouth away from hers so she could look at the curious injury. He moved but looked down at her annoyed, not understanding her motives.

Come to think of it, he's never fully taken off his clothes in my presence, Kita thought as she reached for the bottom of his sleeve. He always wears long sleeves. Is it to hide something?

She cautiously lifted up the fabric covering his arm and stared in disbelieve at what he had been concealing. His wrist was completely decorated in cuts: all different cuts spanning the very short to ones that went more than halfway around his arm and from the minor to deep, dark red ones, like a piece of gothic artwork. The most visible cuts looked very recent as if he had gotten them sometime in the past two days. Underneath them laid more healed cuts that were probably produced a week ago as they were a faded reddish-pink shade but still not completely diminished. Mingling among the colored scabs were their future counterparts: white scars, the remains of cuts that could have happened years ago but that had decided to leave their mark regardless. The common thread between all the slashes was that they were all undeniably self-produced.

Hatori's voice entered her mind, telling her that he can't control his anger. He has always been angry: his curse, his parents, his expectations, all contributing to an ongoing rage. When no one is around to beat, he must take it out on himself, she thought wondering if the more current cuts were because of her. Was she contributing to his rage? Or was he angry with himself over what he did to her?

Kita looked up at him, feeling the tears start to form pools at the bottom of her eyes, tainting her lashes with saline, her saddened face asking, are those cuts for me?

Akito gave her a look that was almost ashamed as he looked away from her for a second to regain his emotionless expression again. Did she have to ask?

A few tears began to stream down Kita's face. I am both his relief and another hideous act to bring out his darkness. I am his sweet misery. I doubted whether or not he loved me but this is the proof I wanted carved out for me, spelled out in a way only fitting of him, she thought, her heart tearing itself down the middle.

Kita leaned over and kissed the various cuts as if she was willing her lips to heal them, to take away his pain. She choked back the urge to cry and hug him and tell him about how she knows about his short life expectancy but instead riveted her attention back to this night that was supposed to make up for what happened.

Kita glided her hand around to the back of his head and pushed his face down to hers, kissing him open-mouthed, passionately, nearly aggressively, a way she had only done once before. Akito grinned and untied his own yukata, speedily getting undressed and tossing his robes aside so that they landed in a pile with Kita's. His hands easily made their way up between her thighs, gently spreading them apart. Kita held her breath nervously as he gradually eased himself into her, his charcoal eyes gleaming under the luminosity of the full moon. She gasped as a jolt of pleasure shot through her, proving this time to be nothing like last time. Akito smirked again as he thrust into her, causing her to arch her back up off the mattress.

"Akito..." she moaned rapturously. He drove into her again with more force, demanding another cry, another pant, another sound to show him that, at least when she was with him, she was no longer the tormented little waif who balanced numbness with tears. She delivered to his plea somehow still possessing a certain quality of innocence in spite of her change in behavior. He found there to be something so heavenly about the way she moaned for him, like an angel calling God.

Coming close to his release, he gripped her hips, pulling her up towards him and attacking her mouth with more vicious kisses. She zealously pressed her body against his as she came, the shuddering tremors of her orgasm causing her to clench him tighter, stimulating him to completion before he collapsed onto her slick with sweat.

They laid joined for several minutes, allowing time to regain their regular breathing patterns and slow their rapid heartbeats. He eventually pulled out but continued to lie on her, kissing her neck adoringly, a cunning smile spread across his face.

Once he rolled to her side and wrapped her in his slender arms, Kita noticed something on the floor next to the futon, two stains of blood. She reached out and ran her finger over the drops knowing they were hers from a week ago after she had come home from the party at Hoshi's boyfriend's house. The same man who caused these stains also loves me so much that he cuts himself as punishment for hurting me, she thought sadly. What a place I've found myself in.

Down the hall the ring of a large clock chimed through the main house signifying that it was now officially midnight. Akito nuzzled her neck, still on a complete high from her, as he whispered affectionately into her ear.

"Happy birthday Kita."