Author's Note: The title of this chapter was inspired by my favorite Shakespearian play, Hamlet. When his girlfriend, Ophelia, goes crazy she starts collecting flowers and saying, "There's rosemary, that's for remembrance, pray you, love, remember and there's pansies, that's for thoughts, etc." And I thought "lilies are for putting on graves, aren't they?" The title will make even more sense when you read it.

Also, to see my crappy drawings, my profile thingy has the links.

Thanks to all who reviewed! You know who you are! Much love! Enjoy! I'm going a little overboard on the exclamation points today, huh?

Chapter 23 (Lilies For Graves)

"Speak." Akito said weakly, as he ran his bony fingers over the ridge of the obi of the bright blue kimono that he had gotten her. The tiny yellow-green and purple flowers made her eyes and hair look intense and powerful while the silver flowers brought out how pale his skin was as his hands brushed against the beautiful silk.

The sick God had crawled into her lap and she was lovingly cradling his thin body in her arms wondering if he was ever held as a child. Probably not. Ren didn't exactly strike her as the motherly type.

Usually, they were fine when silence would hang between them on days like this, days when he was so ill he could barely move and the only sound in the room would be that of the heater that was never sufficiently warm enough for him. It was a moment to relish in the simple act of being together, not needing to say how much they care about each other because the feelings were mutually understood. But today, he wanted her to talk. He needed to hear her soft voice to remind him that he's still alive.

"What?" Kita asked, a little taken aback by the request. She had thought he wanted to fall asleep so she was trying to be as quiet as possible. She even had a pillow behind her just in case he drifted off before she had a chance to make him well-situated.

"I told you to speak. I want to hear your voice." he murmured against her neck. His hair tickled her jaw as he stirred slightly, trying to get comfortable against her now very thin figure.

"I don't know what to say." she admitted, shifting her hips so that his slim, white legs could more comfortably rest on her folded, pink-hued ones.

"Tell me about something important to you. Something you've never told me about." He asked, tracing the outline of the neck of her kimono with his index finger, over her collarbone and sternum. "Tell me about your mother's death."

Kita sucked in a short breath and her eyes grew wide. Not many people ever asked to hear the story. She didn't like talking about it. It had taken so many years to convince herself that it wasn't her fault that she hardly ever reflected on it. Thinking about it only spurred up new theories and plausible excuses. But she didn't really have a choice now, not because she was afraid of what he would do, he was too sick to hurt her, but because if she didn't tell him she would feel like she was keeping something from him and she had tried so hard to not hide things from Akito. It's just strange he made this particular request today of all days, she thought, taking a deep breath.

"It happened on March 8th, twelve years ago today. My mother and father were having and argument in the kitchen and, being the curious child that I was, I was eavesdropping on them." She stopped to look down at Akito who had his eyes closed but appeared to still be listening so she went on. "She had just told him what happened two months ago at New Years, you know, about you and me, and he was furious that she didn't tell him right away. He said I could be in danger after what happened with her and the previous family head. I still don't know what he meant by that. Either way, the fight escalated to the point where my mother just ran out of the house." She looked at Akito again, body still, eyes closed, lips parted just enough so that the tips of his upper teeth were visible. Now she was pretty sure he had fallen asleep so she stopped telling her story.

"And?" Akito asked, proving her wrong with his eyes still closed as he spoke.

"It was raining that day and she had a terrible cold. It's possible she had been a bit delirious when she told my father about New Years." Kita stopped to take a deep breath and collect herself. "She was very sensitive to cold, wet temperatures and she was sick so the combination caused her to transform. She hid so no one would see her and be suspicious and so just in case she changed back, it wouldn't be in front of anyone." Kita looked to her right so she couldn't see Akito. "My father found her dead behind a dumpster later that night when he went out looking for her to apologize. He never told me if he found her as a tiger or naked. I was too afraid to know. I blamed myself for her death for years. I just kept thinking, if I hadn't been so curious, I never would have gotten her into trouble."

Akito opened his eyes at that remark. "It's not your fault she didn't tell Jiro right away and it's not your fault she ran outside at the wrong time. And if you hadn't been so curious, we never would have met." he explained. "And that would be unfortunate because I love you." he added in a whisper as he kissed her neck softly.

Kita didn't know how to respond. She kind of wished those things had been told to her when she was six and still blaming herself.

"How about your father?" Akito asked, closing his eyes again.

Kita shuddered. So far, she had yet to tell the whole story to anyone. The wounds were still so fresh and open. "That Saturday we had run out of milk and some other basic necessities so he and I stopped by the nearest convenience store. It was raining that day too so he suggested we take a shortcut through this alley. We had to park pretty far away from the store because the lot was full." Akito nodded against her shoulder to show that he was still awake and actively listening.

"There were these two guys there who had followed us. One of them pushed me to the ground and held a gun at me, demanding that I give him my purse. I remember that I was shaking too much to register the command and match it with an action so I laid still." Akito's eyes opened and he looked at her. Her eyes had changed to a darker shade of green as tears started to form.

"The other one who wasn't holding the gun at me proposed the idea of rape to my father, taunting him. My father ran to try to help me but the man shot him." A tear rolled down her cheek and fell onto Akito's wrist which was resting over her heart. "The two guys ran away after that. I still don't know if they actually intended to shoot or if it had been an accident. I carried him to the car and then drove him to the hospital. It's a miracle I didn't get stopped and fined for speeding and driving without a licence." She laughed a little to try to stifle her tears but it was no use. The floodgates had been opened. The storm was long past simply brewing.

Akito wrapped his arm around her, feeling a very unfamiliar emotion. Guilt. Slight little pangs of guilt for doing to her what those men did. He started to envision that knife in his mind, the one hidden behind the vase in the corner that he had used so often to relive pain, on himself, on others. But at least I had reason for what I did unlike those malicious bastards, he thought, dispelling the guilt to focus on fury.

"If I ever find those men, I'll kill them." he said, vehemently. Kita knew he was being serious and the thought actually frightened her a bit. She didn't want him getting in trouble with the law, even though anyone in the family who had ever been abused by him could have tried to do so already, including her. And in his helpless state, the idea sounded a tab unbelievable.

I have to tell him.

"I know, Akito." she said quietly, her face down so he couldn't see her.

"What?" he asked, pushing her head upright so he could look at her.

"I know...about you...and how you're...dying." She spoke slowly through teardrops, each word sharp and painful. Akito's face grew colder.

"Yes, I am." he answered stoically. He did not fear death and sometimes he found himself favoring the idea of it to life but Kita didn't see it that way. She started crying again, her hands flying to cover her face. Akito rubbed her back, remembering how it so often calmed her during times like this.

"Do you want to go to the graveyard?" he asked casually, as if the topic of his death had never been mentioned.

Kita looked up, her eyes almost emerald with saline and partially covered by the shorter stands of hair framing her face.

"To see your mother." he clarified. "I bet you usually go see her today." he guessed, brushing the hair away from her lovely eyes that were usually that unforgettable, animalistic shade of yellow-green.

She nodded. "But, what about you?" she asked inquisitively. He had been so hellbent on keeping her shut away at the estate, especially when he's sick, that she wondered if maybe he did have more of a heart than she anticipated.

"I can wait as long as you aren't too long." he said, his lips brushing against her neck as he spoke.

"I'd like to go." she admitted. Akito tried to stand up but found that he was too weak to so Kita let him lean on her as she directed him over to the futon. She gently laid his head on the pillow and pulled the covers up around him, kissing him on the cheek.

"Bring the lilies from your room." he told her. "Lilies are the flowers of the dead after all."

Kita nodded, tears still flowing thinking about him and when the time will come that she will put lilies on his grave.

"I will be back soon. I promise." she said forcefully as if she was determined to not let him die while she was gone.

Akito smiled, almost coyly.

"I know."