Change of Plans
Chapter 4: A
Question Without Words
The remainder of the day at Grace Adler Designs was, as expected by both Grace and Karen, slightly awkward. Neither of them wanted to bring up the night before or anything regarding the current status of their relationship, and neither of them noticed the awkwardness of the other. It all went over fairly smoothly, as Karen took her usual long shopping breaks and Grace worked quickly on the last few rooms she had to do before she took her maternity leave.
Grace wasn't putting much thought into her designing, by that point she just wanted to be able to get off her feet and be done with working for a few months. She took advantage of this to think about what was going on with Karen instead, and mull over what she had been refusing to consider the entire time: that she might have actual feelings for Karen.
In certain ways she really was starting to put Karen in charge of areas of her life where Will had previously been: helping to pick out clothes for important events, talking about things she'd never discuss with others, being the shoulder to cry on. However, she wasn't really sure that it was because he wasn't there anymore or if Karen would have taken them over eventually anyway. And the feelings were close to what she felt for Will, but not quite. If she wanted to associate them entirely with Will, she knew that she had to go back quite a few years.
It frightened her, because there were so many reasons why she couldn't fall in love with Karen. First of all, though she knew she shouldn't think that way, Karen was a woman. Grace had always been very open-minded, and a firm believer that people could really fall in love with anyone, but she had never considered that it could be true for herself. Or at least not quite that true. And second, it was Karen. Even once she got past the fact that Karen was female, there was still the fact that Karen was Karen. Even knowing that she could be sweet and really did have feelings deep down, she had high doubts that the woman could ever be that fond of her. And third, she was having a baby. She had to put her child before her romantic life, and even if Karen really could be that fond of her, she couldn't be that fond of a baby.
Despite the many reasons why she couldn't fall in love with Karen, Grace knew that she didn't have much choice in the matter if she was going to. And she decided that she really had to find out if she was going to soon, because she had to figure out what exactly she was going to do about it.
Karen arrived home that night to find Grace already there, eating dinner. She was glad to see that the redhead was eating again, but had been hoping not to run into her just yet. She was still feeling guilty that maybe she just wanted Grace around because of the baby, and she didn't want that guilt to be picked up. But Grace didn't seem to keen on talking either, and the two of them sat in silence until she was finished. "Goodnight, Karen," Grace said as she got up and headed out of the room, and Karen figured that was the last she'd see of her that night. But she was wrong.
A few hours later, Karen was making her way to her own bedroom to go to sleep, relieved that she had not run into Grace again. But just as she was thinking that thought she opened her bedroom door, revealing Grace sitting on her bed in a nightgown, staring at her. She jumped slightly, but then walked in and shut the door as Grace got up and walked toward her.
"Listen, Karen, I'm sorry about today. I know I've been all avoiding you. I'm just scared, because I'm unsure of something…" Grace bit her lip and looked at the floor for a second, but then looked back up at Karen with resolve. "I don't know how to put this… I… I need to ask you something."
Karen froze. Her immediate thought was that Grace suspected her of only wanting her around for the baby, though later she realized that it was impossible as Grace didn't even think she liked children. But this was what stayed with her, not considering that Grace would be unsure or avoiding her for any other reasons. It was Karen's turn to bite her lip. "Sure, honey… You can ask me anything."
Grace hesitated a moment at Karen's odd display of reluctance, but did not let it stop her from what she was about to do. She took a large step forward, grasped Karen's head in her hands, and kissed her. The two had kissed many times, all memorable in their own ways, but this one was much different. There was real feeling behind it, adding a tenderness and a twinge of uncertainty that had never been there before. Karen was nearly frozen, as she had been expecting a verbal question and not this, though she knew exactly what Grace was asking. The redhead pulled away, grazing her teeth along Karen's bottom lip as she did, and took a step back to bite her own and watch for a reaction.
Karen still stood there, unmoving.