Another censored chapter

Chapter 8 - Sex and the Pregnant Abby

The elevator ding brought Tony's head up and he was not disappointed. McGee looked decidedly grey this morning. Abby had dragged him out of the office last night to his first ante natal class. Tony could still see the pleading "save me", look in McGee's eyes and hear Abby's unsympathetic "you've done the crime now do the time".

"How was it?" he asked McGee cheerfully.

"Ever seen that scene in Fantasia with the ballerina hippos?"

Both men shuddered.

"You two should be ashamed," Ziva chastised them. "Being with child is a beautiful thing".

"Fine, you go shopping for baby stuff with her at lunchtime and see how beautiful it is," McGee challenged.

"Actually, that might be fun," said Ziva brightly. "Do you think she'd let me come along?"

"Oh she loves to share the experience," McGee assured her. "All of her experiences. Make sure to remind her to tell you about her haemorrhoids".

Tony winced as McGee's phone rang.

"McGee. Oh hi Abbs. Yeah we're still on but can Ziva come too? She wants some of the baby experience. OK, I'll call you."

"You're in", he told Ziva hanging up the phone. "And you can back me up on my one condition."

"Which is?"

"No coffin bassinets. I just couldn't stand to see a baby in a little coffin. It would just freak me out too much. She says she wouldn't do that to me but she can get a bit… carried away sometimes".

"That seems reasonable enough," Ziva confirmed. "No Abby getting carried away."

"Shopping for baby things has got to be the world's best contraception," McGee muttered darkly to Tony. "It should be compulsory in high schools. Solve the teenage pregnancy problem overnight."

Abby bounded out of the elevator, as McGee wearily shut down his computer for the evening.

"Let's go McGee. I want to do a stock take."

He sighed, resigned to his fate. That meant they were going to his apartment. The place that had once been his sanctuary was now a repository for all things baby. He could hardly see his beloved typewriter now for the various cots, car seats, high chairs and prams that were stored in his living room. Not to mention the drifting mounds of baby clothes. His personal possessions seemed to be receding in the tidal wave of baby paraphernalia as fast as his carefree bachelor life.

Abby had a white theme going which made the room look like a hospital waiting area. At the ultrasound, she had wanted the baby's gender to be a 'surprise'. McGee was adamant that this baby had already used up its allocation of surprises but she held firm. He then had a choice of 'pink is a fine color if it's a boy' or white. So everything was white.

He was convinced that using his apartment as a storage locker was Abby's way of making sure he never brought another female back to his apartment again. He could just see the face of any prospective girl as he opened the door. A room full of brand new baby equipment. What could be more enticing to a young single girl? Unless she had a seriously ticking biological clock, she would run a mile.

"And Chinese tonight," said Abby picking up the bags. "I got a hankering for Chinese food."

"Fine," he swung his backpack over his shoulder and they headed for the elevator.

"So McGee," Abby began as they finished off the remains of the food. "Ever done it with a pregnant woman?"

McGee laughed spontaneously. Then he stopped. Abby wasn't laughing. She was serious.

He swallowed hard. He had honesty never thought about touching a pregnant woman in any way. Even when Abby said 'look, its moving' and placed his hand on her stomach, it only made him feel queasy.

"Won't it hurt the baby?" he knew he was clutching at straws but he was stalling for time until he could think of a better excuse.

"Didn't you listen at all in that class?"

"Well, no," he admitted sheepishly. "I kept trying to think of things that didn't make me nauseous."

"Come on, McGee," she pleaded. "Do you know how difficult it is to get a date when all anyone can see is 'baby coming soon'?"

He surveyed his living room. "I think I have some appreciation," he said.

"Why won't guys go near me?"

"I think its Darwinian, Abbs," he felt more comfortable on theoretical grounds. "The human race is meant to procreate. If the woman is obviously taken, the men aren't attracted to her. It's in the nature of the species."

"Well, this woman hasn't been 'taken' in quite a while, McGee. Just for once I'd like someone to look at me as a woman and not an incubator."

"Guys are sort of visually driven Abbs."

"You're going to be visually driven over in a minute," she warned. "Come with me, Timothy" and she pulled him by the T-shirt to the bedroom.

Once in the there, Abby flicked the lights on and started on McGee's MIT T-shirt, then his singlet, then his pants. She was a woman on a mission and nothing was going to stop her. Once she had stripped him down to his boxers and socks she stood panting waiting for him to make a move.

"Well?"

"Um, right," he stammered licking his lips nervously. "Ah…OK".

Hesitantly he pulled the huge sack of a dress over the top of her head coming face to face with her industrial strength maternity bra and elasticised support underwear. Her belly button protruded grotesquely at him.

"Do you think we could try with the lights out?" his voice had gone up half an octave.

"Whatever it takes, McGee."

"Right, ah thanks. Oh hold on: how do I undo this thing?" he made his way around to her back and unlatched the enormous support structure she was wearing. Her breasts swung free, slapping into each other as they fell.

She heard him take a stuttering breath behind her. This was going to be harder than she thought. As he shuffled nervously to the light switch, she removed her underpants to make life a little easier on him.

"Oh, wait," he said suddenly. "I haven't got the lubricant."

"McGee," came Abby's impatient voice. "I leak gallons of fluid a day. I go through like a pack of pads a week. We don't need any lubricant."

"Abby, please," he whispered, a note of panic in his voice.

Whoops, too far. There were some facts of life that McGee just couldn't bear to hear. Perhaps she should save that image of the baby sitting in the womb getting poked in the head during sex for later.

"Sorry, Timmy."

He faced her in the dull light and took a deep breath. "Um, I don't really know where to start," he admitted awkwardly. "I don't think I can reach you."

For McGee sex really was a one dimensional activity: horizontal. Abby sighed and crawled up on the bed on her hands and knees.

"We could do it doggy style," she suggested wiggling her bottom at him.

McGee looked aghast as her giant udders and stomach swayed ominously beneath her. 'Not unless I develop a bovine fetish,' he thought to himself. The cross shaped tattoo on her back made her look like a badly wrapped Christmas present and he could swear the tattoo on her butt had grown to twice its original size. He looked closer and shuddered, 'that's what haemorrhoids look like'.

He was getting worried. No amount of good will towards Abby or sympathy for her plight was going to get his anatomy to come to the party.

Abby looked back at him and saw the shear terror etched on his face. 'Time to change tack,' she thought.

She climbed off the bed and put her arms around McGee's shoulders. "Let's say we just lie down and chat for a while," she said softly. "And we don't mention the baby once. OK?"

"OK," came the thankful reply.

As they lay down, Abby made sure to use the sheets to cover her stomach. He needed to be thinking about her, not staring at her stomach.

It had been a while since they, or anyone else, had talked of anything but the baby and at first it was hard for either of them to think of anything to say. Once they got their rhythm going, however, things came much more easily.

McGee remembered why he liked Abby so much: She got his jokes. Most people thought he had no sense of humour but Abby understood. Sometimes the references were a bit esoteric but she was right there with him. He loved to make her laugh.

As she flicked her head forward in animated conversation he found himself collecting an errant strand of her shiny black hair and examining it casually. He looked into her bright eyes, was dazzled by her smile and finally, he understood: she was still Abby. He suddenly realised he was alone in his bed with a beautiful, intelligent women who was completely naked and desperate to have sex with him and only him.

Although he would never admit it to Abby, monogamy was a pretty strong part of his make up. Never mind that Abby wasn't choosing to be exclusive with him, she was more having it thrust upon her. The fact still remained that she was his and when it came down to it, he was a possessive person.

"McGee, are you listening to me?"

He put a finger to her lips and then slowly slid it to one side replacing it with his lips. She retuned his kisses softly at first and then made the adventurous decision to wriggle her tongue between his lips. Although hesitant at first, he quickly opened up to her and eagerly returned in kind.

He started kissing gently down her cheek and neck pausing over her spider web tattoo. He travelled down to her breasts shifting the covers down by degrees.

"Careful," she whispered, and he was; licking across her skin and then blowing across the dampness to make her tingle. "You have no idea how good that feels."

"McGee looked up excitedly. "I have an idea!"

He sat up and rolled the covers to the end of the bed. Then taking Abby's hands in his own he led her off the bed and motioned for her to sit on the end bed atop the rolled covers.

"Now," he said lowering her with his hands to lie on her back. "I can reach you" and he quickly removed his boxers.

She smiled up at him, her suspicions were confirmed: he was large. She wrapped her legs around his torso.

He bent over to kiss her, only momentarily pressing on her swollen abdomen. Then he straightened, put his hands on her hips and without warning, drove into her.

"Whoa," Abby let out an involuntary cry then she threw her head back and laughed with joy.

McGee looked down on Abby's rapturous face. He never really got to see her face during sex and now he realised how much he had been missing. She was really happy. More importantly, he was making her that happy. His Abby was happy.

He tried to hold back to extend her sensation but his body was having none of that. His loins exploded in a rush of heat that seemed to radiate through his body. The force was so tremendous it terrified and thrilled him all at once. For once he had no notion of time and the world disappeared from his grasp.

As the reality returned, he found he had to rest his hands on the bed for support merely to stay upright. Gasping for air and drenched in sweat, he felt dizzy and drunk. Belatedly he realised the blood that had rushed from his head to partake in his exertion was yet to make the return journey.

"McGee, you rock!" yelled Abby from the bed. He gave her a broad grin and then closed his eyes with a sudden grunt as his body reacted to the compliment. He knew he'd done good.

"I can't reach the tissues," he gasped.

Abby reached up over her head and with her fingertips was just able to get a purchase on the errant box. Flicking it on one edge, she was able to cause it to tumble towards her, catching it victoriously. She held it out to McGee who was still breathing heavily at the end of the bed. She tapped him with the box until he looked up. He looked like he had had the life sucked out of him and it caused her to giggle. He smiled self effacingly taking the tissue box.

Abby shoved her way back up the bed and turned on her side. McGee dropped the tissue box and crawled, exhausted up the bed to join her. He had the happy grin of a puppy that had just brought back its first stick. He was very pleased with himself and rightly so.

"That was fantastic," he panted. "Abby, I really….." the yearning to tell her was so great it threatened to overwhelm him. The effort required to restrain the strong emotions welling up inside him brought tears to his eyes but he could not risk frightening her off. If she left now, he was sure he would collapse and die. Instead he kissed her forcefully fully on the mouth. Then he lay back on his pillow, took hold of her hand, closed his eyes and sighed deeply with a smile of satisfaction on his face.

The look in McGee's eyes had not gone unnoticed by Abby but she had to admit to some relief he had not said what he was clearly thinking. They would always be together in some way; they would be parents soon and if she had to be stuck with someone for life, she was glad it was going to be McGee. If only he would allow her to date freely AND do what he had just done to her every night, she'd be really happy.

She saw the smile slip from his face and was momentarily worried until she realised his panting had given way to deep breaths. He was sound asleep. She rolled the covers over him and he didn't stir. She stood to straighten her back and then turned to go to the bathroom yet again.