Chapter 9 - Jimmy Delivers
It was the end of a long day when Abby waddled into autopsy holding her hand to her back. She was nearly nine months pregnant and looking fed up. She wore flat slip-on shoes and an oversized dress onto which she had stencilled the words 'McGee did this to me' in large red letters. Ducky and Palmer looked up from the charred remains of the body they were dissecting.
"Abigail," Ducky welcomed her. "What can I do for you?"
"You got any painkillers, Ducky?" she asked. "I've been popping pills all day and I just can't seem to get rid of this pain. Hold on a minute."
Abby held on to a table and panted for a minute before continuing. "This pain is really bugging me, Duck".
Ducky exchanged glances with Palmer.
"Come sit up here," he said, heading to an empty gurney.
Abby following walking gingerly.
"Just how long has this been going on?" he asked after Abby had hoisted herself onto the metal table.
"All day! I can't do a thing without stopping all the time. It's driving me nuts. At first, it was like every now and again, but now it's all the …oh wait, here it comes again."
While Abby panted through the pain, Ducky looked across at Palmer who was shaking his head with a smirk on his face.
When she had finished, Ducky made her lie down on the table.
"Would you do the honours, Mr Palmer, I'm afraid it's been rather a long time since I had any need to do this?"
"Sure doctor," said Jimmy, peeling off his gloves and disappearing to wash his hands and suit up in something clean and fresh.
"A good idea," Ducky commended. "I'll do the same in a minute."
"What is he doing?" asked Abby in alarm.
"Abigail, had it ever occurred to you that you might be in labour?"
"What! No, I've got too much work to do!"
"The human body doesn't really care about work, Abigail. We're just going to check how far you are along."
Palmer returned looking a little apprehensive.
"I'll just get ready and we'll make a start," said Ducky heading for the door as Abby started painting again. "I think I'll put in a call to Timothy as well."
"McGee," came the curt reply, everyone was busy at the moment.
"Timothy, you are needed down in autopsy rather urgently," said Ducky.
"Well, I'm sort of tied up at the moment, Ducky," McGee said in a rushed voice. "Can you give me about half an hour?"
"Abigail might not have half an hour, I think now would be a better time."
McGee felt a shot of adrenaline through his system and he sprung from his desk and slammed down the phone all in one action.
"I'll be in autopsy," he yelled to Tony as he sprinted for the stairs.
"This might be a bit uncomfortable," said Jimmy sympathetically as he eased his fingers into Abby. He felt about a bit, his eyes opening wide. "Oh, we're pretty much there Doctor Mallard."
"Well, there is an ambulance on the way," said Ducky as Abby went through another contraction.
McGee crashed through the autopsy doors crying "Abby".
"It's alright, Timothy, Abigail's in good hands," Ducky nodded towards Palmer.
"What is he doing!" McGee exclaimed in horror.
"Just ascertaining the progress of labour, you're going to be a father quite soon," replied Ducky.
McGee paled noticeably.
"I'll just get you a chair and you can sit up here with Abby," said Ducky wisely.
"No Ducky," Abby interrupted. "I'm not giving birth lying flat on my back. I'm going to be squatting like they do in the wild."
"It's in her birth plan," McGee offered wearily as he sat thankfully on the chair Ducky offered.
Abby rolled off the table to get into position.
"Abby, please," McGee pleaded.
There was a gush of water onto the floor below Abby.
"Water's broken Doctor," came Palmer's calm voice.
"I can see that, thank you Mr Palmer," Ducky replied.
McGee turned away with his eyes closed to take a deep breath and regroup. When he opened his eyes he realised he was staring at the charred remains of the sailor on the other gurney. He retched once and steadfastly returned his attention to Abby.
"Sorry about your floor, Ducky," Abby panted.
"It's not as if this floor hasn't seen its share of bodily fluids," Ducky remarked casually coming around behind her.
Palmer was already squatting down trying to get a good look when Abby started screaming, hanging on for dear life to the side of the gurney. The table made an attempt to flip and McGee launched himself at the other side to provide a counter balance.
When it was over, Abby panted, "What was that?"
"Things get a bit more meaty now, my dear," Ducky replied. "The paramedics should be here in a minute with…oh here they are now."
Two paramedics rushed in with an array of plastic boxes, a tank of gas and a small plastic box on wheel attached to a number of instruments.
"It's coming again," yelled Abby grabbing McGee by the upper arms to brace herself.
When it was over, the paramedics offered her a face mask attached to the gas bottle.
"Was pain relief on that birth plan?" she asked McGee desperately, two inches from his face.
"It was on mine," he retorted.
"Gimme," she held out one hand. "It's coming again."
This time Abby screamed through the mask. When the contraction was over she ripped the mask from her face and yelled at the paramedic. "Is this thing on?"
"Yes Ma'am," came the reply.
"What a joke! McGee try this," she said clamping the mask over McGee's face.
It took two breaths before McGee's grip on her loosened and he began to slide off the table. She whisked the mask away. "McGee!"
Wha….?" he replied groggily trying to regain his ground.
"It's coming again," she screamed.
Then Abby started to push with all her might. She threw down the mask, dug her fingers almost clean through McGee's arms and pushed. "Get this thing out of my body," she yelled between contractions.
"I can see a head," called Palmer from behind her. "Do you want me to get a mirror so you can see?"
Abby gave him a stare designed to turn him to stone. "Are you joking?"
"Nearly there, Abigail," came Ducky's soothing voice and Abby gave it one more push.
There was an almightily release from her body as the baby slipped out. Abby's legs collapsed from under her and only McGee's grip on the other side of the table kept her from falling onto Palmer beneath her.
Palmer skilfully swung the baby out of harms way and the paramedics swooped in to check the baby and tie the cord.
"Do you want to cut the cord?" one of them offered McGee. Panting, McGee shot them a withering look over the table.
"Do you mind if I do it?" Palmer asked him. "I never got to do it in med school. They said it wasn't needed where I was going."
"Knock yourself out," McGee muttered as he rounded the table keeping his pull on Abby. When he got behind her, he put his arms around her to help her onto the ambulance stretcher. Ducky joined him at Abby's side.
"We've still got to wait for the…"
Something red and jelly like slid out of Abby and landed on McGee's shoe.
"No matter," Ducky said merrily taking Abby from McGee.
McGee looked down at his shoe and suddenly heaved his remaining stomach contents across the top.
"McGee!" came Abby's annoyed voice. "I was going to eat that."
"Yes well as nutritious as placenta might be for Eskimos, my dear girl," said Ducky helping her lie down. "Eating one from the autopsy floor might well give you BSE."
McGee stumbled to the chair Ducky offered next to Abby.
"It's a girl," called the paramedic. "Fighting fit, about 8 pounds, I'd say. Do you have a name?"
"Yeah," said McGee quietly looking at Abby, "Caitlan."
"What name were you planning to use if it was a boy?" Ducky queried.
McGee's eyes lit up but Abby held up a warning finger. "McGee…"
"Something out of Lord of the Rings," he said excitedly.
"Just want I wanted," said Abby sarcastically: "meet my son Frodo, son of Elf Lord".
"Yes, well. Just as well you ended up with the female of the species," Ducky concurred.
"Amen, Ducky," said Abby.
The medic wrote the name on a bracelet and attached it to the baby. Then he brought young Caitlan over and laid her on Abby's stomach.
"Hey there," she smiled.
"Ahh, Abby.. ?" McGee started.
"Hmm."
"She has blond hair. I sort of thought she'd be dark."
"What! You know I tattoo my entire body, but you never thought I might dye my hair?"
"You're actually blond?" he asked in amazement.
"Yeah, but don't let it get around. It's not really a Goth look. I thought about letting it grow out but then I'd look like a Goth skunk."
"If you're up to it, my dear," Ducky interrupted. "I think some others would like to pay you a visit."
Abby looked up and saw Tony, Ziva and Gibbs anxious faces jostling for position in the tiny autopsy window.
"Let them in, Ducky."
The three almost fell into the room as Ducky opened the door and ran over to the new family.
"Do you dye you hair?" McGee quizzed Ziva.
"Oh yes," she replied sarcastically. "It is a little known fact that the Israelites are actually a Nordic race who dye their hair just to fit into the neighbourhood."
"A simple 'no' would have sufficed," McGee shot back at her.
Ducky retreated to the far corner where Palmer was sitting smugly looking over the scene.
"Good job, Mr Palmer," he smiled patting him on the back.
"Thank you sir," he replied. It was rare to have a crowd of happy people in autopsy and he was enjoying the experience.
"Let's get the camera," Ducky suggested.
"Do you think we should move the Lieutenant out first?" asked Palmer indicating the charred sailor's body which seemed to be in the thick of the action.
"Yes, probably a bit too much excitement for him," Ducky agreed.