Meredith moaned and opened her eyes. She wasn't quite sure where she was, but she could hear the sound of snoring not far from her. The sound seemed way too loud and was making her head throb. Meredith coughed, her throat felt dry and her mouth seemed to have been lined with cardboard during the night. Slowly she pushed herself up, leaning back against the smooth surface of a stove, as her memory started to float back to her. The source of the snoring was Christina, who was laying next to her, an arm draped over a half eaten plate of brownies. They were sitting in the aftermath of hurricane Izzie, who lay curled up in a little ball, her head resting against Meredith's leg. Meredith pressed a hand to her temple as the memory of Finn listening to her confession in shocked silence came floating back to her. Meredith shook her head as if to get rid of the thought, but the slight motion made her wince in pain. She caught sight of an empty tequila bottle laying on the floor next to her, and the memory of Derek pushing her easily against the wall of the on-call room jumped to the forefront of her mind. She shivered instinctively and glared at the bottle. "You didn't do your job," she mumbled thickly. She could still remember the cold and piercing look Addison had given her and Meredith let her head fall into her hands. Her mind felt heavy and slow, and the idea of figuring out what to do with the mess she'd made of her life seemed impossible. Meredith looked grudgingly back at the peacefully sleeping Izzie and wished she could just curl back up beside her. "Great," muttered Meredith, forcing herself to her feet. "Now I'm jealous of the girl whose boyfriend died."

She turned to look back at Izzie, but standing up had made the room start to spin. Meredith felt her stomach lurch and she staggered quickly to the bathroom to throw up. She didn't reemerge until she'd emptied her stomach several times and then forced herself to take a shower. By the time she went back to the kitchen, Christina was awake and making a pot of coffee.

"You look like crap," she said, by way of greeting.

"Ugh…shut up," groaned Meredith, climbing up on the counter to get two clean mugs. "You look worse." Meredith had a point. While she looked almost deathly pale and her eyes were tinted red, she had at least taken a shower and gotten dressed. Christina's hair was still wild and speckled with flour from sleeping on the floor, and the pattern of the tile had left little indents on her cheek and her arm. "Coffee," she demanded, pointing at the now ready pot on the counter. After they had sat staring into their mugs of coffee, burning their tongues as they rushed to drink as soon as they'd poured, Christina looked up at frowned at Meredith.

"So seriously, an affair?"

"Well no," began Meredith, looking thoughtfully at the dirty counter. "I mean, once is a mistake but twice…does that count as an affair? Ugh, it does, doesn't it?" She moaned and got up to get more coffee.

"Eh…no, it just makes you stupid Mer. Stupid and lacking in self control. Oh, and did I mention, mind numbingly stupid?" She frowned at Meredith. "You need to talk to him, not straddle him."

"I know, I know…no more sex." Meredith stared uncomfortably down into her coffee cup.

"Exactly. No sex for you," agreed Christina, banging her mug on the counter for emphasis.

"Oww…"moaned Meredith. "Don't be so loud. And I hope you realize no more sex means I am going to have to avoid Derek for the rest of my life. I am crap at self control." Christina just smirked, and Meredith felt suddenly eager to change the topic. "What about you and Burke?" she asked, but Christina laughed and shook her head as she got up to toss her empty mug into the sink.

"I don't do discussions of my feelings before 6 am. We'll be fine." She grabbed her bag off the floor and slipped her shoes back on. "I've got to go, I still need to get Burke's stuff and take a shower." She paused and smiled at Meredith. "But thanks Mer. Oh, and try to at least make it to rounds without sleeping with anyone today!"

"That? Was not nice!" called Meredith to Christina's back as the door slammed shut. She set down her coffee and turned to look at Izzie still sleeping on the floor. "Iz…" she whispered, shaking her friend's shoulder. "Come on, wake up. We've got a nice couch just in the other room." Izzie slowly lifted her head and blinked at her.

"Where are you going?" she mumbled.

"Taking you to the couch, and then I'm going to work."

"Oh," said Izzie quietly, looking down at her hands.

"You know, you could come too," offered Meredith gently. "Bailey wants to talk to you." But Izzie instantly shook her head, her eyes starting to glisten.

"No, no I can't…not yet. It's too soon Mer, please. I can't!" She sounded frantic, as if terrified that Meredith would force her into the hospital.

"Shhh, it's okay," Meredith soothed as she led Izzie to the couch. "You don't have to. Joe said he might come by and visit you though. Would you like that?" Izzie nodded her head and let Meredith pull the blanket over her. "Okay, you just sleep Izzie," whispered Meredith, watching sadly as her friend curled back up into a little ball, one hand pressed against her tearstained cheek.

-----

Somehow, it felt odd to walk back into the hospital. Instead of providing a distraction from her thoughts, it filled Meredith with a tense, nervous feeling. She scurried across the lobby, looking about anxiously for any sign of Addison or Derek. Great, she thought to herself. Now I'm not only a dirty mistress, but a paranoid dirty mistress. In an effort to prove to herself that she wasn't paranoid, Meredith forced herself to wait for the elevator instead of taking the stairs. When the silver doors slid open, the elevator was mercifully empty. She walked in and breathed a sigh of relief, reminding herself that she was overreacting. That she could handle elevators. However, the elevator stopped unexpectedly on the second floor. As she stepped back to make room for Derek to get on, she silently cursed her decision.

"Morning," he said cheerfully. She glanced awkwardly at Derek. He was smiling more then he had in a long time, his eyes piercing straight through her as he leaned against the wall. Meredith tilted her head curiously at him, waiting for him to say something about finally talking to Addison, but he only smiled at her some more. Meredith sighed in frustration and looked intently at the floor, trying to pretend that they weren't alone in an elevator together. He walked over to stand in front of her, and Meredith turned her face to look at the wall. "What?" asked Derek, his voice still light and teasing. "Now you're not talking to me?"

"No, I'm not," agreed Meredith, backing up and leaning her aching head against the wall. "Every time you and I are alone and we try to talk, we end up having sex." Derek smirked as she looked pointedly around the small elevator. "And we're alone now, so I am definitely not talking to you."

"So, now you want to have sex in an elevator?" Derek leaned forward, his face was only a few inches away from hers. Meredith smiled for a second, tilting her head so that she was looking up into his eyes as his hand slipped easily around the curve of her waist. She felt her heart starting to race, and she almost sighed in agreement. She felt like she was floating, somehow standing close to him was melting away her hangover. But the ding of the elevator reaching the next floor jerked Meredith back to both her senses and her headache.

"No Derek," she snapped, stepping away from him again. "And why are you smiling? The other night didn't fix anything." Derek sighed and shifted from one foot to the other.

"Meredith, I…" Her body and her heart were telling her to listen to him, or better yet, lean into him and then listen later. To tell him that she'd left Finn, that she could be all his if he only asked. But the part of her that was still broken, that still had sharp and wounded edges from being left by him was stronger. It forced the memory of everything she'd told Finn about Derek from her mind. It told her to take her heart while she still could and hide it from him, and Meredith listened.

"Derek, no. Okay?" He opened his mouth to speak again, but Meredith cut him off. "And no, it didn't mean anything either. Alright? So don't even ask." His face visibly fell as she spoke, but the doors opened then and Meredith forced herself to walk off without looking back at him. Safe…she reminded herself. I'm being safe. We're not having an affair, he has to get that. Still her stomach felt heavy with the lie she'd just told and she longed to go press the button for the elevator again, to find a way to take back everything she'd said. Instead, she caught sight of Bailey and followed her over to where the other interns were standing as she began giving out the day's assignments.

"Alright people, listen up," snapped Bailey, pausing to take a long sip of her coffee. "Karev, it's your lucky day. You're off OB/GYN, you'll be working with a temp attending in cardio, a Dr. Elliot." Alex nearly jumped in the air, as he whirled around to grin at Meredith and Christina.

"You hear that, ladies? I'm off the vagina squad. Any technical problems down there, I'm no longer your man. Any other problems though…" He rubbed his hands together eagerly, still laughing at his escape.

"Shove it, evil spawn," muttered Christina, rolling her eyes at him as Bailey cleared her throat.

"Alex, why are you still standing here?" He nodded and hurried off. "O'Malley, you're on neuro with Shepherd. Yang, I need you to take a consult in the pit." Bailey paused as the others disappeared. Meredith looked at her anxiously.

"And me?" Bailey shook her head and frowned at Meredith.

"Grey, I don't want to know what you've done this time. But Montgomery Shepherd needs an intern, and she's asking for you."

-----

Addison was pretty sure that she was Satan. Or, at least, she was pretty sure that was what the interns would consider her once they learned she'd requested Meredith. That was the way things usually seemed to work ever since she came to Seattle. Destroy Meredith Grey's happiness? Then everybody hates you, thought Addison bitterly, as she pushed open the door to the bathroom and leaned against the sink. She desperately wanted to hate Meredith. It would make everything much simpler if she could. Addison didn't know exactly what she felt, it was a giant tumble of things, but it wasn't quite hate. She stared blankly into the mirror, frowning as she contemplated her hair. She hated to admit, even to herself, that every now and then she tried to imagine how she'd look with dirty blonde hair. As if the reason her husband was so hung up on Meredith Grey was due entirely to hair color. I've got the evil red hair, she reminded herself, tugging absently on a stray strand. That's definitely Satan. Or maybe even the wicked witch of the east.

Addison smirked sadly at her reflection, leaning back against the tile wall of the bathroom and closing her eyes. She wasn't sure exactly why she'd requested Meredith, the words had just popped out of her mouth when she'd passed Bailey in the hallway. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Derek sure did it often enough. Although, she knew Derek wouldn't see it that way. Addison knew that if Derek found out she'd asked for Meredith he'd either ask her what the hell she thought she was doing, or simply look at her sadly, shaking his head in disappointment as he walked away. She sunk down along the wall, hoping nobody would open the door to see her sitting on the floor. Addison rested her head on her knees, thinking it was probably more likely that Derek would just be silent.

That was what her marriage had become. Silence. The night she had seen Meredith and Derek leave the on-call room, they had driven home together in total silence. Derek barely looked at her, just stared moodily at the road, and Addison hadn't seen the point in trying to get him to talk. She didn't really know what there was to say. She figured she should yell and be angry, but somehow the silence was a little less painful. When she had woken up the next morning, Derek had already gone to work. Later that day, Addison had paged him and told him not to wait up for her. She'd said that she had a late surgery which would probably keep her at the hospital most, if not all of, the night. It was a lie. They both had known it was a lie. After all, they'd been standing in front of the OR board when she had told him. But Derek had only nodded and played along, even wishing her good luck with the surgery before walking away. Addison sighed and forced herself to get up again. She was pretty sure the silence was the real reason she had asked for Meredith. Addison wanted answers, wanted to know if Derek had figured out that she knew about Meredith. She wanted to know if he even cared that she had. She hadn't figured out how to talk to her husband. Meredith seemed like an easier option. Meredith Grey didn't know how to lie.

"Dr. Shepherd!" Addison heard the sound of a familiar voice gasping her name as she opened the bathroom door. Meredith was looking up at her, her green eyes wide and clearly startled. "I've…I've been looking for you. I'm your intern." She stammered just a little as she spoke, her hands fidgeting with the buttons on her lab coat.

"Right," said Addison briskly, leading the way down the hall. She stopped at the nurses' station, quickly sorting through charts and setting aside a pile far larger then any she'd ever assigned Alex. Addison couldn't help but smirk a little as she chose the most boring and tedious assignments she could find, tasks Meredith could have handled easily when she was still a medical student. She was hoping that Meredith would get annoyed and complain a little. Alex would have been ranting full speed at the sight of the first chart alone. But Meredith just nodded and scooped up the giant stack in her arms.

"I'll go get started then Dr. Shepherd," she said quietly, not quite looking Addison in the eyes. Meredith had made it nearly half way down the hall when Addison forced herself to call out to her. Meredith stopped immediately and walked back to her.

"Dr. Grey," said Addison slowly, knowing she already had the answer to her question in the fact that they had reverted from Addison and Meredith to Dr. Shepherd and Dr. Grey. Meredith nodded, her eyes darting about expectantly. "Are you sleeping with my husband?" Addison spoke slowly and clearly, seeing the change that each word wrought in Meredith's expression. Somehow, the question sounded so different from the last time she had asked it. Meredith sighed and looked down at her feet for a moment, but when she looked back up, Addison realized exactly why she couldn't hate Meredith Grey.

"I think," Meredith began quietly, finally looking Addison squarely in the eyes. Her look was apologetic, tinted with either guilt or sadness, maybe both. However her voice was no longer stammering. It was calm, gentle even, and surprisingly firm. "I think you need to talk to Derek, Dr. Shepherd." The two women stared at each other in silence for a minute before Meredith nodded her head almost imperceptibly. Addison watched her turn and walk away, suddenly realizing what she had to do.