A/N: Thank you all for the reviews! I was overwhelmed with the replies! You guys rock:-)
Okay so FINALLY in this chapter you get to find out who exactly Kate is. It's unconventional yes, but I don't think anyone has ever taken this angle before. Hope u like:-)
"So you're the new hospital lawyer." Kaitlyn wasn't sure if House was asking her or stating a fact.
"Um…..yea." She replied, utterly confused.
Kaitlyn did not know how to respond to House's reaction, mainly because House didn't really have one. His face remained expressionless. This was not because House was trying to remain aloof or detached, but more because he himself didn't know how to react.
On the one hand, Kaitlyn, his Katie was back, but on the other hand, this meant Stacey was leaving. The two reactions sort of cancelled each other out and his expression was just neutral.
"C'mon House say something. You're beginning to freak me out. Snap out of it!" said Kate waving her hands in front of his face.
House snapped out of his daze, but wasn't sure what he should say. He wasn't the congratulatory type so he did what he always did when a situation got too intense for him. He reverted to his sarcastic self.
"I can't believe Cuddy made you the new lawyer. What was she high when she made that decision? I should start counting my pills. She's probably mooching off of me."
'A sarcastic response. Why am I not surprised?' thought Kate. At least it wasn't a negative response. Before accepting the job, Kate wondered how House would react, but only for a second. She figured if he didn't want her working there, too bad. She was going to whether he liked it or not.
"Will you ever grow up Housey?" she said rolling her eyes.
"Hey, if you're going to be working here, that's Dr. Housey, I mean, Dr. House to you."
"Fine, then it's Miss Saunders to you, Dooooccttoorr House." House just gave her a 'never gonna happen' look and turned to grab the biggest needle he could find to take some blood from Kate.
"Now, hold still." He said while grabbing Kate's arm.
"Oh, hell no! Don't even think about it House. That's not funny. You don't need to take my blood. You know I'm healthy, so just sign the forms so we can both get out of here." Kate said while jumping off the examination table and heading towards the door. But House was too fast for her. He limped in front of the door to block her only exit and just stood there with a satisfied grin on his face.
"Is the new hospital lawyer advising me to lie about treating a patient? I'm shocked. What kind of doctor would I be if I didn't give my patients the best of care?"
"One that will need a wheelchair if you come any where near me with that thing." She replied, pointing at the needle House still held in his hand.
"Okay, what I don't get is A) you wanted to be a doctor and B) You have a freaking tattoo on your back! Hello! Those are done with needles! Very pointy, very sharp, very painful needles."
"Well, A) doctors poke others with needles, not themselves dumbass and B) I was very, very drunk at the time." She said the second part like it explained everything.
"Now, I know you didn't just call me, the guy holding the gi-normous needle a dumbass." he said moving towards her.
Kate was beginning to panic. She always spoke before thinking and it always landed her in trouble, especially with House. "Of course not Housey. Why would I do that? What I said was 'doctors poke others with needles, not themselves,ahh..NICE ass. I was just giving you a compliment." She said putting on her best innocent child impression.
"I know. Those butt clenches I do every morning are finally paying off. But nice try, have a seat."
"No, House please! You know how much I hate needles. Please I'll do anything." Kate had reduced herself to pleading.
"Sorry Katie. You know I wouldn't do it if it weren't absolutely necessary. I'm guessing the last time you had a physical was the last time you saw me right?" She didn't respond. "That's what I thought."
"So I have to take some blood, just to make sure your fine. And it's just an added bonus for me that this causes you immense discomfort. I love watching you squirm. It's better than General Hospital." He said smiling deviously.
"Shut up House." She said while sticking out her tongue. "Just make it quick." And with that she squeezed her eyes shut and waited forit to be over.
House reached over for some cotton balls and wiped her arm down with the alcohol. "Oh, what big veins you have there, Katie." He said trying to get a reaction out of her. But Kate just remained absolutely still.
"Okay, I've got the needle. It's really pointy and really, really big. I'm going to pierce your arm with it now. I'm five inches from your arm now." Continued House, giving a play-by-play commentary as he went along. However, right before he stuck the needle in her arm, he grabbed a smaller needle. He really didn't need the needle used for lumbar punctures for a simple blood test. "Four, three, two, one, and we've made it. Oh here comes the blood. Look Katie, look how fast it's filling the tubes." House got all the blood he needed. He removed the syringe and tossed it in the hazard bin.
"All done Katie. Here, have a lollipop." He said and tossed her a red one.
She walked over to House, and smacked him across the back of his head. "That was for being cruel. And this," she said hitting him again, "was for giving me a red lollipop when you know my favorite is orange."
MD MD MD MD MD MD MD
House and Kate both walked out of the exam room with matching lollipops. It was a sight to be seen. They were both sucking on their respective lollipops and were bantering back and forth about something or other. Every time either one of them spoke, they would take the lollipop out of their mouth and shake it at the other person.
Carol just watched the two of them make their way to the elevators arguing about something. She couldn't hear what they were arguing about, but was able to catch a few words.
"No way!……my …..no….. house….No way!"
"….Bad…..choice……your fault."
Both House and Kate got on to the empty elevator and headed up to House's office.
"There is no way you are staying at my place!"
"Why not? It's only going to be for a few days anyway. Besides, it's your fault that I can't move into my place right away."
"My fault? How the hell is it my fault?"
"Well if you didn't scare away every tenant after they've been there for only two months, then the last tenants wouldn't have trashed the place when they left. Now, I have to get the place exterminated because they left food all over the place and it attracted mice and God knows what else! I have to get the whole house painted because whoever had kids, scribbled all over my walls. And I have to buy a new fridge because there is some weird mold growing in there that I'm afraid to touch."
"Well, is it my fault all the tenants were idiots. I mean, the people with the kids, I believe they were tenant number six; their kids were just plain stupid. Every time I came out of my house, they would run up to me and say 'why do you walk with a cane? My grandpa walks with a cane? Are you my grandpa?' Every single time! You'd think after telling them I wasn't their grandpa for the millionth time they would have gotten the idea!"
Kate started to laugh. "Okay fine grandpa, what was your problem with the last tenants?"
"Those jackasses? Tell me, did you even look at their application before renting them the place to them or did you just pick them off the street?"
"What was wrong with them? They were engineering students. They looked pretty decent, actually a bit nerdy to me. What problem could they have caused?"
"They were so obnoxious! And they always cooked this weird dish that made the whole neighborhood smell funny for days. I did the neighborhood a favor by getting rid of them. The value of the neighborhood went up 10 percentafter they left."
"Do I even want to know what you did to make them leave? Wait, no, I don't want to know. Anyways, it doesn't matter House. The point is, it's your fault and therefore you have to take me in, you have no choice. I'm your landlord and you have to do what I say. So there!"
"Well first of all, your parents are my landlord and secondly where in my contract does it say that I have to give my landlord a place to stay?"
"Actually, when mom and dad moved to Florida they transferred all the property to me because they figured I was going to stay in Jersey and therefore I could handle it better. So technically, I am your landlord or landlady I should say. And no it's not in your contract, but c'mon House, we've being next-door neighbors for over 15 years. What is this world coming to if one neighbor can't help out another huh?"
"Aghhh! Fine! But don't expect my to give you a ride to work everyday. Just 'cause we're going to be living together for a few days don't mean I'm your chauffeur."
"It might be more like a few weeks, but yayy! Thanks Housey! Or should I say roomy!" She said and gave him a great big hug and a kiss on the cheek right as they reached his office.
Three very curious pairs of eyes witnessed this display of affection and recognized the women as the one from the previous day. They all looked at each other confused and made their way into House's office as fast as the possibly could without making it look obvious.
"Hey House. This was the girl we were telling you about yesterday." Said Foreman, because he was the only one bold enough to ask House about her.
"Oh, so you're the one that made Chase look like a fool yesterday. I should have known it was you. But then again, it doesn't take much for Chase to make an ass out of himself." House said looking between Chase and Kate while kicking his feet up onto his desk.
It was now Cameron's turn to speak as Chase tried to make himself look as small as humanly possible. "Sorry, we didn't catch your name yesterday. You ran out of here before we got a chance to ask."
Kate glanced over at House, winked and replied with a straight face, "I'm Kate. House's trophy girlfriend. Or his hussy as he so adoringly calls me."
All three ducklings froze. They just stood there trying to think of something to say to get them out of this embarrassing and awkward situation. All the while, both House and Kate were struggling to keep a straight face.
A/N So there ya go! What did you think? I know I've made you all wait so long to find out, but now it's my turn to do the waiting. Plz Review so I know what you thought!