A/N: As much as I dislike Authors' Notes before the start of a chapter, I feel I have to say this now. Unlike the chapters before it, nothing in this chapter has been role-played in any form. All content herein is my interpretation of what occurred during downtime. (for those not in the know, downtime is time that passes in story between sessions, and thus, for this story, between chapters) This is the first of two such chapters in this story. Okay, now that that's cleared up, on with the show.
--- The Phoenix Chronicles ---
Chapter 09.5 - A Romantic Interlude
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She ran her hand through his hair, a smile on her face as she watched him sleep. The ship had docked aboard the Icebreaker hours ago; Flute had already gone to start searching for the next ball. Viola had left too, but she seemed to be staying as far away from him as she could manage, obviously still highly embarrassed about Kaen's remarks while they were on world.
She would have left hours ago too, but she wasn't going to leave him behind, and he looked too cute as he slept peacefully to wake him. So she just spent the time enjoying her position, his arms around her as she sat across his lap, her head against his chest. That new form he'd taken was obviously exhausting to hold, because in all the time she could remember, he'd only ever slept this long when he'd worked himself to the point of passing out.
She ran the day's events over again in her head. First, she found out the guy who'd helped her track Kaen down was the same person who'd tried to kill him, and she'd lead him right back. Second, she'd been killed protecting Kaen. She had no regrets, neither then nor now; she loved him, pure and simple, and if given a thousand chances she'd do it again every time, no question. Finally, she'd been brought back, somehow, when Kaen killed him, though how she had no idea.
She knew he didn't have the power to bring people back from the dead; no one did, it was impossible. Besides, it wasn't his style, and from what she saw of him, he'd been too broken up emotionally to do anything. She knew, from what Viola had told her, that he had used some powerful technique, one that had killed the guy with one hit. Somehow, that attack must have brought her back, but that much was obvious; the how still eluded her.
Her musings were cut short when he began to stir, awake at last. It wasn't that she was in a hurry to move - far from it, she quite enjoyed being held by him - but there were better places to have it happen than onboard a drop ship.
When he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was her face, smiling up at him. She looked like she was about to say something, but before she could he leaned down, kissing her for a moment, and when he pulled back, she seemed to be glowing.
She giggled, "Well hello to you too, I see you're finally awake. You've been out for hours now."
Looking around for a moment, he asked, "Where are we?"
"We're still on Flute's ship. You were out of it when we docked, and you looked too cute to wake up," she chirped.
He smiled down at her, saying, "You waited here for me all this time?"
She smirked a little, indicating his arms and replying, "I didn't have much choice. Even asleep you've got a strong grip." His face fell a bit, and she giggled again, poking him on the nose and saying, "Silly, I was just joking. You know that if I didn't want to be here I wouldn't, strong grip or not."
He seemed to visibly relax, as he playfully bit at her finger. The battle-hardened mercenary warrior that Kaen was before was gone, at least for now, revealing the boy she'd fallen for, hiding underneath. He smiled again and said, "I know. Still, you could have woken me you know, instead of waiting for me to wake up on my own."
She nodded, replying, "Yeah, I know, but I like being like this. Having you hold me makes me feel safe, like nothing can hurt me."
She noticed that his face fell as she said that, but before she could comment on it he spoke up again, his voice sounding nervous, "Pi, there's... something I want to tell you, but I don't want to say it here... Do you want to go somewhere a little... more private?"
She shook her head stubbornly, acting like her old self, ironically her young self, as she pouted a bit, "Nuh-uh. You said you wanted to tell me something, and I'm not getting up until you do."
He sighed, "Fine, have it your way..."
Pi smiled to herself, a satisfied smile. She had a fairly good idea what he wanted to say, or at least she thought, hoped, she did anyway. She wasn't expecting what came next though. He picked her up, holding her delicately in his arms, as he stood and walked off the ship.
"Hey, no fair!" she exclaimed, holding on to his neck with both arms as though he would drop her if she didn't.
He smirked at her, saying, "What, I thought you said you liked me holding you? Plus you said you weren't going to get up until I told you, and I wasn't going to tell you in there, so this fixes both problems."
She pouted again, huffing, "Fine," but it was obvious to both of them she was putting it on. Inside she was glowing. She must have been right about what he wanted to say; why else would be want to go somewhere private, and not take no for an answer?
He walked on automatic, simply enjoying the feel of her in his arms. So engrossed was he in the feeling, he failed to notice that, out of all the places on the ship they could be alone, he had gone to his own room, or that he had closed the door behind him as he walked in. None of it mattered, all the mattered was her.
She noticed though, and it made her feel all giddy inside. She was right; there was no doubt in her mind. As he sat down on the edge of the bed, shifting his arms to hold her as he had on the drop ship, she gathered her courage and asked, her voice barely louder than a whisper, "Kaen, what did you want to tell me?"
He just held her close for a moment, using one hand to stroke her hair lightly, before whispering back, in their native language, "So much... So much that it hurts... So much that I don't know where to start..."
She just hugged him back, saying, "Just follow your heart, and start where it tells you."
A moment passed in comfortable silence before he said, in a voice that sounded like he was having trouble resisting the urge to cry, "I'm sorry Pi. I've been an idiot. I'm so sorry."
She was now utterly confused; those were not the first words she expected to hear from him. Heck, she never expected to hear those words from him if they lived over a hundred years. Her voice comforting, she asked, "Sorry for what?"
He sighed, once again sounding like he was trying not to cry, before saying, "Everything. I'm sorry I had to leave you to go on that mission. I'm sorry I didn't come home like I promised. I'm sorry I made you leave home yourself, and spend twelve months of your life travelling halfway across the galaxy to find me. And most of all, I'm sorry I've been so distant ever since you caught up."
She hugged him tighter, whispering soothingly, "It's not your fault you had to go on that mission, it was the king's orders. It's not your fault you couldn't come home either; it was that bastard's. And you didn't make me come searching for you, I did that myself, so that's not your fault either. Plus, after having to run for your life for twelve months I don't blame you for being a little distant. It's okay, I understand."
He sighed again, "That's just it, you don't understand. I wasn't being distant because we'd spent so much time apart; we basically fell back into old habits the second I recognized you. I was being distant because... I didn't want you in my life at the time..."
He continued before those words could sink in, knowing they'd hurt her if he didn't explain, "What I mean is, as you said, I was running for my life. Every day I could be killed, but I was okay with that; if I died it would just make true what everyone already thought. But having you around changed that. It gave me something to lose. As I always told myself, a man who has nothing to lose has everything to gain."
"I was trying to keep myself distant because I feared that having something to lose would take away the only edge I had; no fear. But the more time I spent with you, the harder it became to fight, until I was right back where I started from before leaving home; you became such an important part of my life I didn't know what I'd do without you. Today I found out..." he trailed off as his voice cracked, and a few tears slipped past his defences
She pulled back just enough to kiss him, the contact comforting them both. When she broke this kiss moments later, she smiled at him and said, "It's all right. I'm okay now, and I'm not going anywhere."
He smiled back shakily, not used to displaying emotions this openly, before saying, "I know you're okay now, all my senses are screaming it at me. But that doesn't make the pain of seeing you die lessen any..."
She just held him close again, unsure of any words she could say to comfort him, but her just being there helping him immensely. He spoke between choked back sobs, refusing to cry any more; she was no longer dead after all. "I can still see you lying there when I close my eyes. I can still hear the blast hitting you, and the last words you said, when all else is silent. But worst of all, I can still feel my heart being ripped in two, and my soul dying, as I saw the life fade from your eyes, even now, with you in my arms..."
She pulled back, locking eyes with him, a few tears of her own slipping down her face, as she whispered, "I wish I could take all your pain away. I wish I could make it all better, but I can't. All I can do is be here for you."
He smiled at her lovingly, using one hand to wipe away her tears, as he whispered back, "That's all I need. And don't worry about my pain; it's my cross to bear..."
Confused again, she asked, "What do you mean 'your cross to bear'?"
He sighed, "It's what I get for not telling you the truth sooner. I knew he was going to be there, waiting for me. It was like that every three months; he'd show up where ever I was, and we'd fight again. I should have told you, and asked you to stay on the ship..."
She laughed softly, a few tears still on her face, as she said, "You know it wouldn't have stopped me coming, no matter how much you asked. If anything, it only would have made me want to come more."
Kaen laughed a little himself, saying, "Yeah, you always were as stubborn as me..." His face turned mildly sad again as he continued, "I should have also told you how I truly felt sooner... I think that's what hurts the most, that you died without me ever telling you how much you mean to me..."
She started to protest, but he silenced her with a smile and a finger over her lips, saying, "I know you know, but it's not the same as hearing it confirmed. You've told me so many times that you love me, and every time you did, I wanted to say it back, to open my heart to you, but my stupid pride kept getting in the way. By the time it let me say what I wanted to say, it was too late..."
He paused, gazing into her eyes and smiling again before continuing, "But you came back. You gave me another chance. I know that in our lives, second chances don't come around often, and I'm not going to let my pride stop me this time. If today did nothing else, it showed me that life is too short to have regrets, and I've regretted shielding myself from you for too long..."
He paused again, kissing her deeply, before whispering passionately, "You mean more to me than life itself. Words alone can never hope to express the depths of my love for you. My heart already belongs to you, and tonight, I offer you my body, my mind, and my soul, if you'll have me..."
Her heart, which had already started soaring at his declaration of love, began pounding almost painfully in her ears at both what he said, and how vulnerable he looked as he said it. She reached up, kissing him just as deeply as he had her, both to reassure him and to calm her own nerves, before whispering back, in a voice no less passionate than his, "Kaen, I love you with every fibre of my being, pride and all. I've always loved you. And I would have waited forever for you to say those words."
He smirked a little, running his hand gently along her tail, before saying semi-teasingly, "You've been waiting huh? You know I've never been able to deny you anything you wanted. All you had to do was ask..."
A light moan escaping her lips, she suddenly found their current position not quite good enough, moving until she was straddling him, kissing him passionately before whispering, her voice husky, "Well, I'm asking."
Her statement seemed to ignite a fire in both of them, and they began kissing again. This time, it wasn't to reassure, it wasn't to support, it was a show of passion, and like most things the two did, it soon became a fight for dominance. Before long, they realised that their armour was too confining, and thus, it had to go. Without a word spoken between the two, they broke away as one, shedding the armour and tossing it to the side, before they resumed where they'd left off, this time with just the skin-tight body suits separating them.
Soon, even that was too much, and the rest of their clothing joined the armour on the floor. As skin touches skin, their instincts take over, and they move to a beat only they can hear, doing a dance as old as time itself. As they reach their zenith as one, on instinct alone they bite into the nape of each other's neck, tasting the metallic tang of their blood as they forever mark each other as theirs. The last thing they each see before everything goes black is each other's smiling face, the words, "I love you," spoken as one.
As their bodies rest, the memories of each other's lives flash before their eyes, most too fast to make out clearly, except for a few key events, which, to both their pleasant surprise, they share. Their first meeting. Their first kiss. Their separation. Their reunion. And finally, their first time.
As consciousness returns to them, they can instantly feel the effects of their now-completed bond. They can hear each other's thoughts, can communicate without opening their mouths, and can feel what's in each other's hearts. As the feeling registers in their minds, they can see in each other's eyes that they each want more. Their bodies soon catch up, and the dance resumes, continuing long into the night.
But all good things must come to an end. Eventually their strength leaves them, the stress of the day catching up with them, and they fall asleep in each other's arms. Using the last of his energy, Kaen, with Pi still in his arms, moves the two of them under the covers. Watching her sleep, he whispers one final thing into her ear, before sleep claims him too, "Sleep well koibito. I promise you, on my love for you, that I will protect you."
End Chapter 09.5
To be continued...