Author's Note: I apologize for the short update. I don't have so much time right now. So review, please! I need to know if it's worth writing, or if I'm wasting my time!

( Sorry again if there's some mistakes…remember, I'm not English!)

Chapter 3: Incomprehensions

When Meredith woke up the morning after, she thought she had dreamt everything.

She had told Finn the truth about her and Derek and he hadn't yelled or anything…..he had been so perfect instead…..he was a great guy and he really wanted to stay with her….so why did she feel so empty? The day before, after the whole thing, she had begun to think of Finn like a possibility…..she could be with him trying to have a happy normal life…..she could do this. But now she felt so empty….and it was because of Derek…..of course that it was because of him. She couldn't stop thinking that she would never love someone the way she loved Derek….this was so sad and so unfair….she desperately wanted to forget him and try to be with Finn….to be happy. But she couldn't be happy without him and she hated it. What did she have to do?

She needed to talk with someone about the whole issue, but all her friends seemed to have more important problems than hers…Izzie was…. She wasn't Izzie anymore, actually. She was lifeless, angry…Alex was the only person she let to be close to her….Meredith knew he was completely into her and she secretly hoped that someday, when things would get better, Izzie would give him another possibility. Cristina already had so many problems with Burke, his hand and their relationship. And then there was George…but she couldn't talk to George about her love life, not after the whole thing between them. So, apparently, she was alone….she had to make a decision by herself, without her friends' advices.

That day, Meredith felt like everybody's eyes were on her….she didn't know why, but she kept feel that way until Cristina went to her.

- What the hell are you doing, Mer?-

- Hi to you too! I haven't seen you for almost two days and you say hello in this way?-

Cristina rolled her eyes – Whatever, answer my question: what are you doing?-

- What are you talking about?-

- I'm talking about McDreamy! –

Oh, crap

- How do you know?- asked Meredith lowering her voice

- Everybody in the hospital know!-

Oh crap, crap, crap

- I don't understand…..how can they possibly know? I didn't tell anybody except Finn-

- Oh, you told Finn but you didn't tell me!-

- Cristina, I had to tell Finn, he deserved to know!-

- I'm your best friend, I've been supporting when you were miserable for Derek, so I think I deserve to know as much as Finn does that McDreamy is getting divorce!-

Meredith looked at Cristina like she was crazy. Derek was getting divorce? It wasn't possible, was it? He didn't tell her anything.

- I didn't get it, Cristina….Derek is getting divorce?-

- What, didn't you know?-

- Oh my God, is it true? Aren't you kidding me?-

- Of course I'm not. I'm not in the mood after Burke's accident-

Meredith felt sick….Derek was getting divorce…why? Because of her? If it was because of her, why wouldn't he tell her?

- If you didn't know, what were you talking about?-

- I didn't tell you because of Burke….you have your problems…-

- Meredith! –

- I slept with Derek-

- Oh….now it's getting clearer-

- What?-

- Why he's finally divorcing Addison-

- So you think it's because of me-

- Wake up, Meredith! Of course it's because of you!-

- Oh my God…what am I suppose to do now?- she wanted to become invisible.

- I'm not the biggest Derek's fan, you know that. He broke you-

- I remember-

- But you're clearly still into him-

- That's not true….I mean, I'm technically still with Finn….he still wants to try with me, I don't know why, but he wants to. And he's great, so…-

- Shut up, Mere! You're so into him!-

- Cristina!-

- You aren't able to hide your feelings, especially when it's about Derek-

- But Finn…-

- Finn it's a good guy, but it can't work if you're still in love with Derek-

- Are you saying that I should come back with Derek? –

- No, I'm not, you're the only one that can make this decision, I'm just suggesting you to be honest with yourself-

Meredith smiled – Thank you, Cristina….I'll try-

She had to talk with Derek. She didn't want to, but she had to. She had to know why he had ended his marriage, she wanted to hear it by him. But he wasn't at work that day. It was very strange….Meredith had listened the nurses telling that Derek hadn't neither called to justify his absence…..she was getting worried….he didn't act like that. So she decided to do a thing she probably wouldn't never do: she went to his trailer.

He wasn't out, the door of the trailer was closed and she didn't hear anything. She hesitated for a moment, then she knocked….but Derek didn't answered.

- Derek? Derek are you in?- Nothing.

- Derek?- she didn't know why, but she was scared. It was stupid, but she couldn't help it.

- Derek!- she yelled.

The door finally opened. Derek was half asleep and most import…half naked, if you didn't consider his boxer.

- Meredith?-

Without thinking, she hugged him. He seemed surprised, but he immediately surrounded her with his arms.

- Thank God, you're fine- she whispered. She felt so good in his arms….Nothing else mattered when she was in his arms.

- Why? Did you think I wasn't fine?- he asked gently

- You weren't at work today and you didn't call….I don't know, I was worried. I'm stupid-

- You're not stupid….you lovely – he said stroking her heir.

Meredith felt her cheeks burning. Oh, that's not good. She couldn't lose her self-control….no, she couldn't, not right now.

She shrugged off Derek's hug. – Something's wrong?- Derek asked

- Actually, I wanted to ask you something- Meredith said looking straight to the floor….the sight of his naked chest was a big distraction. It was stupid, she had slept with him thousand of times….he had slept with him two days before as well, but she couldn't bare the sight of his naked chest. She felt like a teenage girl.

- Tell me- he said

- Could you wear a t-shirt or something before? If you don't mind of course- she said quickly.

Derek couldn't help but smile. He put a shirt on – Better now?-

- Much better, thank you-

Derek couldn't stop smiling.

- Why are you smiling?- asked Meredith

- You make me smile-

- Derek!-

- I'm sorry, but you seem a little girl right now!-

- I know…I'm sorry, but I can't help it, ok?-

- Don't take me wrong. I like it. I like you. No matter how you act, I just like you-

Meredith flushed. She both loved and hated when he talked to her like that. She loved it because he always knew how to make her heart beat fast and she hated it because it made everything more difficult.

- Are you trying to hit on me?- she asked smiling

- Always-

Owww, he couldn't keep acting like that. She was getting crazy. He was looking at her now….she had to do something…..she wasn't famous for her self-control.

- Why weren't you at work?- she asked

- Are you trying to change the subject?-

- Are you avoid my question?-

Derek smiled. God, he loved her. He loved everything about her.

- Ok….I was at Joe's yesterday and I got drunk….too drunk. I was a mess this morning so I thought I had better take a day off- he explained.

Meredith's smile died. He got drunk. Maybe it was because of the divorce…..maybe she left him….maybe he still felt something for his wife.

- Is something wrong?- he asked noticing the change in her expression.

- I have to go- she couldn't ask him about his divorce anymore. She was scared. After what had happened in the exam room she had been sure that she meant something for Derek…..but what if she was wrong? What if it had been just sex for him?

- You can't go. You wanted to talk, remember? So, let's talk!- he protested.

- I can't-

- Come on, Mer! What's changed? Have I said something that pissed you off?-

- No…I just have to go- she said trying to leave the trailer, but Derek didn't let her do it.

- I can't let you go. I have to tell you something as well-

- What?-

- It's about my marriage-

- I don't want to hear anything about your marriage!-

- Why are you acting like this?-

- Let me go!- she yelled and ran away. Derek wanted to go after her, but something told him it wasn't a good idea.

- What can I do to make you understand I love you? What, Mer?- he asked, but Meredith wasn't there anymore and his question rested answerless.