Author's note: Thank you for the reviews! I'm happy someone is enjoying this. This chapter wasn't planned, but I think it's good, or at least I hope so! Please review! I don't have so much time to write, but if I have more reviews, I think I'll try to write often!
Chapter 6: Sick
- Meredith? Meredith are you ready?-
It was 5 a.m. and Meredith didn't go out of her room. George was getting worried
- Meredith? Meredith, I'm coming in!- he said and he opened the door.
Meredith was laying in her bad, her face was really red and her voice softer than usual.
- Are you ok, Mere?- George asked
- No, I'm not….I think I have the flu…..I feel awful-
- Oh, you should rest then. I'll tell Bailey-
- No! I'm coming….I just need a little time to get up and get ready-
- Don't be stupid, you're a mess!-
- Thank you!-
- I'm sorry, but it's true. Stay at home today.-
Meredith didn't want to stay at home. If she laid in the bed all day she would have a lot of time to think….and she didn't want to do that, she felt too sick. But George was right….if Bailey saw her that way, she would send her home, so she had better to do what he was suggesting her.
- Ok, whatever you want- she finally said
- Good. See you later- George said and then he walked away.
Meredith closed her eyes and tried to sleep, but it was useless: her mind was full of Derek.
She missed him. It had been a week since they talked the last time. She said she needed time to trust him again, to understand if they could be together again without too many problems. And he was giving her time…..time and space. He was always professional, and didn't search for her to ask her about them. He said hello and sometimes Meredith felt his eyes on her, but nothing else.
Meredith was happy that he was acting well, but God….she missed him so much!
About Finn, she hadn't called him yet. She didn't know how to end the thing with him…..she had already tried once, and it had been useless. But she had to do it……she need to do it.
Derek had immediately noticed Meredith's absence. He could feel when she was in the same place he was…he could feel her. Giving her time and space wasn't so easy….it was hard to him not being next to her. But he had to do it. Meredith needed to trust him again….she needed to know that he was ready to do all that it was necessary.
He wanted to know why Meredith wasn't at work, so he decided to ask to her roommate.
- O'Malley?-
- Yes, sir?-
- I was wondering why Meredith isn't here today -
- Oh….I don't know if I can tell you that-
- Of course you can!-
- But…-
- Please, tell me-
George sighed – Ok…she have the flu-
- The flu? Oh….and is she alone now?-
- No, Izzie is with her-
- Did you give her something?-
- It's just flu! She'll be better soon- said George
- Right….right- Derek mumbled and walked away.
George couldn't help but smile. He had never liked Shepherd that much…..he was the love of Meredith's life, how could have liked him? But he had to admit that he really loved Meredith…he could read in his face.
Meredith was dreaming of Derek…..she always dreamt of him recently.
The peace and that warm feeling she felt in the dream disappeared when Izzie woke her up.
- Meredith? Meredith you have to eat something-
Meredith moaned – I'm not hungry-
- That's not important, you have to eat, you can't take the medicine without eating-
- Ok- she took the plate from Izzie's hand and started to eat slowly - So…how are you?- she asked.
- I should ask you that-
- C'mon Izzie, you know what I mean-
Izzie changed expression – I'm not fine….I think I'll never be fine again-
- Don't say that…-
- It's the truth….I feel empty…. have you ever felt empty?-
- Yeah-
- I don't know what to do with my life…..all I can think about is Danny. I miss him-
- I know….but he wouldn't want to see you like that. You have to move on-
- I can't just move on, Meredith. Danny died….I won't see him never again. How…how would you feel if the man you love had died?-
Meredith didn't say anything….Izzie was right. Sometimes she didn't remember Izzie had really loved Danny…..it had happened so fast. But, if she thought about it, the same thing had happened to her: she basically fell for Derek the first day, and since then her love was just grown. If something happened to him, she would die.
- I'm sorry, Iz….the truth is I have no idea what you were going through…I've been insensitive. If I was you, I don't know what I would do….I don't want even think about it-
- It's ok, Meredith, really, it's not just you…..nobody know what I'm going through-
Meredith nodded sadly. She felt so bad for her.
- You know what? You look like crap, Meredith. You really need to rest- Izzie said changing subject.
Meredith rolled her eyes and smiled slightly: something of the old Izzie was still alive.
- Ok, whatever you want, doc-
Meredith slept a lot: the medicine Izzie gave her worked like a sedative too.
When she woke up, it was dark outside. She looked around and saw someone who was sitting in the chair next to her bad.
- Derek?- she asked hesitantly
- Hi- he said smiling.
It was really him.
He turned on the light – How do you feel?-
- Better. Sleeping helped me. But…..what are you doing here?-
- I've heard you were sick, and I wanted to check on you, so I came here after my shift-
Meredith saw the time: - It's 10 and you're still here!- she exclaimed surprised
Derek seemed worried. – Is this bothering you? Because I can go away immediately-
- No, no! It's ok, really. I'm just surprised….you've been here for so long without even waking me up-
- You needed to rest and plus….I missed this-
- What?-
- Being next to you when you sleep….listening to you breathing-
She felt burning and she could swear it wasn't because of the temperature.
- I'm sorry, I know I'm suppose to leave you alone, to let you think…..but I needed to see if you were ok. It's just flu, I know, but I wanted to be sure-
- I'm not upset, Derek, really. I'm happy you're here- she said sincerely.
- You are?-
She nodded. – I appreciate what you are doing, really, but give me time to think doesn't mean you don't have to talk to me at all. I mean, you don't have to ignore me. I don't want that-
- Oh, ok! I thought….-
- I know what you thought. It's my fault…I told you I would drive you crazy. The problem is…I don't know what I want. It seems like I'm never happy, whatever you do- she confessed.
- It's sad….because I know exactly what I want- he said, looking straight to her eyes.
In that moment Izzie came in the room.
- I'm sorry, have I interrupted something?- she asked
- It's ok, Izzie, what's up?-
Izzie gave her the cordless – It's Finn- she said and she left.
Meredith looked at Derek: crap, he didn't know she hadn't left Finn yet.
- Derek…-
- You should answer- he said. He didn't seem very happy.
She did. –Hello?-
- Meredith? Are you ok? Izzie told me you're sick-
- It's just flu, I'll be fine soon-
Finn keep being silent for a while
- Finn?-
- Is Derek with you? I heard you saying his name before-
- Oh….no, I'm alone. You didn't understand well-
She had lied. Why had she lied? She was so stupid! She was a terrible liar and plus it wasn't fair.
- Yeah, maybe I'm wrong- he didn't seem so sure.
- Do you want something, Finn?-
- You didn't call me, so….-
- You're right, I'm sorry, but now it isn't the best moment. I'll come to you when I'll feel better, ok?-
- Ok. Bye Meredith-
- Bye Finn-
When the calling was over she looked at Derek again
- So….are you still seeing him?- he asked
- No! I mean….I didn't leave him, but I haven't seen him since that day in the hospital-
- And why didn't you leave him? Maybe you're still thinking of him like an option?-
- Derek….-
- I'm sorry….I'm sorry, I know I'm not suppose to act like this. You need your space, I know that. But try to understand, Mere, I…I can't stand the idea of you and him-
- Derek, I want to break up with him, really. It's just that I don't know how to do it. Finn is a great guy, I don't want to hurt him…..I already did, actually, so I just don't want to keep doing it. Don't be angry-
Derek sighed – I'm not-
- Really?-
- Really-
Meredith didn't know if she could believe him.
- I have to go now- he said
- No! Please, stay….stay until I fall asleep again- she pleaded.
Derek smiled – Ok- he took her hand – Sleep, Meredith….I'm not leaving-
She smiled too and closed her eyes – Thank you, Derek-
It was midnight and Finn couldn't sleep. He kept thinking about his strange calling with Meredith. Derek was with her, he was sure of that. He knew Meredith loved Derek, he could read it in her eyes, but he didn't want to think about it. The truth was he was falling for that strange beautiful girl and he didn't want to let her go.
Suddenly he heard someone knocking the door. Who could have been?
He got up and opened the door
- Hi Finn. We need to talk-
It was Derek Shepherd.