A/N - I'm so glad you guys enjoyed the previous chapter. I have been waiting to write that section forever, and so I'm beyond thrilled it got a positve response. Thank you so much for your reviews! Now, just a heads up, this story is winding down. After this chapter, there is only one (possibly two, depending on how the writing goes) chapter(s) left. At it's heart, this is a Mer/Der story, and their issues are pretty much resolved/being resolved. This chapter felt weird to write! I'm so used to writing angsty upset Meredith and Derek, that it felt so weird to write them in a scene where they were simply happy together. Hopefully you guys don't hate the slightly more fluffy tone in this chapter. Season two of GA was nothing but angst, and Shonda's trained me to love my Mer/Der that way. So...this was a bit different for me. Anyway, please read away and I'd love it if you'd review too! Thanks!
Meredith woke up to the sound of harsh, unwelcome beeping. She buried her face in her pillow, hoping the sound would go away. It didn't. Groaning, she swung an arm over the edge of her bed and fumbled around until she hit the right button on her alarm clock and the beeping was silenced.
"Is it really morning?"
That voice, she knew that voice. It was warm and low, and scratchy from just waking up. Her stomach clenched at the sound, and she knew that, if she tried, it would be terribly easy to freak out about the fact that Derek was laying next to her. The last time she'd woken up next to Derek, she'd gone to work and met his wife. Not exactly a good day. Things are different now, Meredith reminded herself as she rolled over onto her side to look at Derek. She hadn't meant to smile, however she couldn't help but grin as she looked at Derek. He was blinking sleepily in the bright light that had just started to stream through the window. Meredith reached out and flattened down the wild mess his hair had become. "You're in my bed," she said softly.
"I am?" asked Derek innocently, turning his head to smile at her.
"You are," agreed Meredith, struggling to keep from grinning like an idiot as Derek raised his eyebrows at her.
"Well, you know…it's a comfortable bed." He reached over and pulled Meredith back on top of him, burying his face against her neck.
"Derek…what are you doing?" she gasped, trying her best to sound angry. It was hard though, she couldn't remember the last time she had felt so…happy. Besides, Derek wasn't listening to her. He just laughed softly as his hands ran down her bare back, pulling her closer. "Fine," grumbled Meredith, but she smiled as she leaned down, her mouth slowly finding his.
"Meredith!"
Her head jerked back up at the sound of her name, and Derek frowned at her in confusion. Meredith tilted her head towards the hallway, listening intently. She could hear Izzie calling to her, probably from the first floor, but she was too far away to hear her clearly.
"I'm busy Iz," called Meredith, before turning back to look at Derek.
"I doubt she heard you." He had a point. Meredith's voice was hoarse from lack of sleep, and barely traveled past the door to her bedroom. Meredith rolled her eyes.
"She probably just wants my opinion on color-coding the food in the refrigerator or something," said Meredith as she slipped her leg back over Derek. "She's gone insane with projects lately. If I don't answer, she'll just go ask George." Derek raised an eyebrow, grinning at Meredith.
"Meredith Grey," he began, his voice full of mock seriousness. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you were being a bad friend." Meredith sighed heavily, sitting up on top of him, her knees pressing against his chest.
"Fine. If you really want me to get up that badly." She started to get out of bed, but Derek reached out, grabbing her arm and pulling her back down. "Changed your mind?" she smirked, tilting her body even closer to his as she slipped her tongue inside his mouth. Derek just moaned softly against her lips in response. There was a sudden loud knock at her bedroom door, and Meredith looked over her shoulder just in time to see Izzie swing the door open.
"Meredith, get your lazy ass up. I made…" But her voice trailed off, a look of total shock etched across her face. "Oh god…umm good morning, Dr. Shepherd," she stammered, her face flushing as Derek peered curiously around Meredith.
"Morning," he said brightly.
"Sorry," said Izzie, and she quickly turned around, slamming the door shut behind her. Meredith sighed and pushed her hair out of her face as she glanced down at Derek. The corners of his mouth were twitching up into a grin, and he was chuckling softly.
"Stop laughing," hissed Meredith. He shook his head and let out a low sigh, but fell silent. "And stop smirking," she added as he continued to watch her with that amused, twisting smile playing across his lips.
"Meredith?" It was Izzie again, calling to her from outside the door. "Can I ask you something?" She sounded anxious, her voice unsure and hesitant.
"What is it Izzie?"
"Out here," called Izzie. Meredith sighed but pushed the covers off, climbing out of bed.
"Not the robe," protested Derek as Meredith bent down to grab her robe of the floor. She turned around and frowned at him.
"What? You want me to go like this? Naked?"
"Well…naked is good," reasoned Derek. "Actually, I don't think you should ever wear clothes. Just stay like that, all the time." He paused for a moment as Meredith shook her head. "You could even go to work naked," he said seriously as he struggled to keep from smiling at her expression.
"Okay, just for that?" asked Meredith, walking across the room. "I'm wearing the hostage!" She snatched the jacket she still hadn't returned to him from where it lay draped over the back of a chair. Meredith was small, and so the jacket covered her easily, looking like a very strange, very leather robe. She made a face at Derek before hurrying over to her door and out into the hall. "Izzie?" continued Meredith, shutting the door to her room behind her. "What is it?"
"You're…" began Izzie, raising a skeptical eyebrow at the closed door.
"Sleeping with Derek. That isn't news," said Meredith, turning instantly defensive as she pulled his jacket closer to her. "What did you want Izzie?"
"I made pancakes…for you and George. But George already left to see Callie before work, and you…" Izzie trailed off and motioned towards the door, her eyes starting to glisten with tears. "Well you're busy too. Should I just throw them out?" she asked helplessly, wrapping her arms tightly across her chest.
"Izzie," said Meredith gently as she took a step away from her bedroom and towards her friend. "What's going on…with all the organizing and decorating and the waking up at five to make us breakfast? You don't have to be up this early. It's insane to be up this early." Izzie's lower lip started to tremble and she shook her head. "Iz…"
"It's just…it's nothing…" stammered Izzie, but Meredith kept standing there, looking up at her expectantly until Izzie sighed and nodded her head. The tears in her eyes were finally brimming over and rolling slowly down her cheeks. "It's lonely here." Her voice was a thin and frail whisper, just a faint echo of the voice that had once belonged to Izzie Stevens. "When you guys leave, I have to distract myself." She shrugged and fell silent, quickly wiping away her tears with a trembling hand. Meredith chewed thoughtfully on her lip, remembering the cold loneliness that she had felt in the cemetery.
"You could try coming to work with us?" she suggested again. Izzie gave a vague heave of her shoulders, which was more response then the question had gotten the last time, but still not much at all. Meredith sighed, but suddenly latched onto an idea, and smiled slightly as she looked up at Izzie. "You know, Alex has the day off today."
"Oh."
"I know he's Alex, but he'd keep you company and eat all the food you wanted to make." Meredith hesitated, trying to judge Izzie's reaction, but her face remained completely expressionless. "You know, he asks me about you every day."
"Oh…" The second soft gasp Izzie made was accompanied by what Meredith thought might be the vaguest of smiles. Izzie glanced quickly down at the floor in front of her feet before looking back up at Meredith and nodding slightly.
"Yeah," said Meredith, leaning back against her closed door.
"Yeah," echoed Izzie, suddenly managing a more definite smile. "You'd better go. McDreamy's waiting for you." Meredith blushed slightly, her fingers already lingering over the doorknob.
"Yeah," she agreed as Izzie turned without another word and shuffled off down the hall.
Meredith slipped back into her room, leaning against the door as she closed it. She sighed and shut her eyes, shaking her head slightly.
"Mer?" She grudgingly opened an eye to stare at Derek, who was still in bed. However, he had propped himself up on his elbows and was watching her curiously. "Is everything okay?"
"What? Yeah…" Meredith shrugged and pushed herself off the door, walking slowly towards the bed. "It's Denny. Izzie still isn't the same." Meredith smiled sadly as she perched on the very edge of the bed. She tilted her head towards Derek, glancing up to meet his eyes. "Derek?"
"Meredith?"
She grinned despite herself, her fingers tracing the smooth metal of the snaps on the jacket. "What are we going to do? You and me, I mean."
"Hmmm…well, you and I," began Derek thoughtfully, frowning with the same expression he usually wore when studying a difficult CT scan. "Well first, you are going to have to come back to bed. And then, you're going to have to get back on top of me. And then…" He paused to nod very seriously at her, snatching her arm and sending her tumbling back down towards him, his hand instantly moving all the way up the inside of her thigh.
"Derek I know how to have sex, that is not what I'm asking about." She shook her head and rolled off him.
"Sex? Who said anything about sex? It's not my fault if you have a dirty mind."
"Derek," insisted Meredith, resting her head on his chest. "I mean, now that we're being us…are we telling people? Although most people already assume we're back together. Everyone talks about it. But we haven't, I mean are we saying anything officially? As in telling boss-type people? Like Bailey…oh that will not be good. Bailey will kill me, and punish me a second time. She shouldn't get to though since she already did the first time. And well…"
"Mer," interrupted Derek as he reached down and pressed his finger to her lips. "You're rambling."
"Oh, right." Derek laughed and buried his face in her hair, his chin resting against the top of her head. "Sorry," she muttered as she glimpsed the time on her alarm clock out of the corner of her eye. "Shit, I'm gonna be late." She scooted quickly out of bed, ignoring the pleading look in Derek's eyes. As she rushed around getting ready, Meredith absently pushed Derek's jacket towards him. "Here, before I forget," she said quickly before getting down on her hands and knees to get her shoe out from under the bed.
"Keep it," said Derek softly. Meredith paused her search and looked up, falling back on her heels to sit on the floor.
"Huh?" she asked. "I thought you loved this jacket, needed this jacket."
"I do, but I need to come back here even more then I need my jacket. And, if it stays here, then I'll just have to come back again." He smiled proudly at her, looking extremely pleased with his idea. "Besides, you were about to let the hostage go without any negotiations. And that's hardly professional." Derek grinned and Meredith shook her head as she started to laugh, no longer minding that she was late for work.
-----
Meredith had been unusually silent all morning, saying very little in the locker room, and answering Christina's questions with nothing but shrugs and vaguely murmured responses. She wasn't sure exactly why she was being so reserved. She just knew that it felt nice to have a secret that wasn't dark or self-destructive. It wasn't the hot tortured feeling she was used to, as if something poisonous was coursing through her veins. It was a light, wonderful feeling, as if her insides had been decorated by Izzie and turned into something happy…something sparkling even. And so, even though she knew it wouldn't be a secret for long, Meredith kept her lips sealed as she rounded with Bailey and her fellow interns. She lagged behind, a smile creeping unbidden across her face, until finally Christina yanked her down the hall and away from the group.
"What happened to you?"
"Huh?" asked Meredith, her secret smile turning into a soft and puzzled frown.
"Seriously…what is going on?" Christina stared at Meredith as if she didn't recognize her. "You look like a happy person," said Christina, lowering her voice into a conspiratorial whisper and making a face as she spoke.
"I do not," argued Meredith at once, but before she'd even finished speaking the corners of her mouth were already tilting upward again. "I'm just…in a good mood."
"Right…last night, you were drunk and ready to kill Shepherd. Today, you look…shiny," said Christina disgustedly. "Who are you, and what have you done to Meredith?"
"Nothing," said Meredith lightly. "Besides, you're the one who lured me to Joe's and then abandoned me with Derek."
"Ah, so this is about Derek." Christina followed Meredith down the hall and towards the nurses' station.
"What is?" asked Meredith innocently. "I have no idea what…" but her voice trailed off as she caught sight of Derek, flipping shut a chart as he exited a patient's room. He looked up and smiled at her, his head tilting slightly to the side as he did. "Hey," said Meredith softly, as her heart started to race and she completely forgot what she meant to pick up from the nurses' station.
"Hey," he answered, walking over to where she was standing.
"Hey…" echoed Meredith, also forgetting that she had already greeted him. "I am working," she stated as she leaned against the nurses' station. Derek glanced down at her empty hands, smiling as he nodded his head.
"You are." He hesitated for a moment, and Meredith looked up at him curiously. "So we never actually decided."
"Decided?"
"If we're telling people." Meredith glanced over her shoulder at Christina, who had a chart in her hands, but was rather unabashedly watching them. "I think we should, I want to," he continued. "But it's totally up to you. Whatever you want."
"Whatever I want," repeated Meredith slowly. She bit her lip and waited for the dizzy overwhelming feeling to sweep over her…but somehow, it didn't. She wasn't overwhelmed, she was okay. Derek was smiling at her, his eyes crinkling, and Meredith felt herself nod. "I want to. We should tell, you know…do things properly this time." She smirked slightly at her own words, knowing that the two of them would probably never quite manage proper.
"Definitely," he agreed, grinning down at her, his eyes filled with their look. Neither of them seemed to mind or even notice that all of the nurses, and pretty much everyone in the hallway, had turned to watch them. Derek glanced down at his watch. "Richard wants me for a consult now. Want me to tell him?" Meredith shook her head. "You want to tell him?" Meredith just shook her head again. "Mer?" asked Derek, his expression growing puzzled.
"I want us to tell him," she said quietly. "Together." Derek didn't speak, just nodded as he looked deep into her eyes. Meredith sighed, the memory of the two of them pressed up against the back wall of Joe's came rushing back. She quickly looked away, straightening a pile of papers absently with her hands.
"Meet me in his office in forty minutes," said Derek in a low voice as he walked away. His hand grazed hers as he walked past, and their fingers twitched involuntarily as if unable to resist trying to cling together. Meredith nodded and let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, as Derek disappeared into the elevator.
"I see your vow to never speak to McDreamy again is working out real well for you," said Christina, smirking as she walked back over to Meredith.
"Oh shut up," laughed Meredith, leading Christina away from the nurses' station. Even though she was already abandoning the secret she'd been nursing all of rounds, there was no reason for everyone to know everything. Christina just raised her eyebrows expectantly. "Well, don't you have anything interesting to tell me about you and Burke?" asked Meredith innocently, causing Christina to sigh in exasperation. "What? I'm just asking," she protested, raising her hands in defense. "Fine…Derek and I are back together."
"Seriously?" Christina's eyebrows managed to rise even higher. "From fighting in the scrub room to that disgusting display of cuteness?" She gestured back towards the nurses' station where Derek and Meredith had been standing.
"Yeah…I guess so," said Meredith, shrugging her shoulders.
"Damn, you two must have the make-up sex down," said Christina, sounding mildly impressed. Meredith just laughed and shook her head.
"I'm about to go tell the Chief," said Meredith, her words causing her laughter to die on her lips. She wasn't sure why she hadn't just agreed to let Derek talk to Richard, the idea had simply slipped into her mind. And now, it was filling her with doubt, pumping fear and worry quickly through her. Meredith chewed anxiously on her lip, aware that Christina was laughing and saying something in reply, but not bothering to discern her words.
"What do you two think you're doing?" The voice belonged to Bailey, and it jarred Meredith from her own sudden worries. She blinked and looked down at Bailey, starting to apologize in unison with Christina. "I don't actually want explanations," said Bailey, shaking her head in disbelief. Christina nodded, turning away to hurry down the hall. "Grey?" Meredith felt frozen to the floor. We're telling people, she thought, a frown crossing her face as she looked at Bailey. "Why are you still standing here?"
"Umm…" stammered Meredith, shrugging her shoulders awkwardly. Just walk away, she coaxed herself, but that simply wasn't working. We're telling people…boss-type people… "Dr. Bailey?" Meredith tried to smile, but was pretty sure it came out as more of a grimace. Bailey raised an eyebrow, her arms crossing over her chest. "Well, you know Derek and…" Meredith winced, mentally slapping herself. "Dr. Shepherd and I," she began again. "Well we…being me and well Dr. Shepherd…"
"Grey, I know who you are. I know who Derek Shepherd is," snapped Bailey. "Are you trying to make some kind of point here?"
"Yes," said Meredith quickly. "Yes…I definitely have a point. And that point is Dr. Shepherd and I, we're back together again." Meredith nearly stumbled over her words in an effort to get them out as fast as she could, after which there was a sudden moment of silence. It was barely a second, but to Meredith it seemed to stretch on endlessly. She glanced nervously at Bailey, trying to read the woman's expression, but failing miserably to discern anything. So instead, Meredith went back to talking. "And well, I know you didn't approve before…and I just wanted to let you know. I thought it would be better to hear it from me, instead of how you found out last time." Meredith grimaced at her own mention of Bailey discovering them together in Derek's car, but Bailey still remained expressionless. "So, that was my point…" continued Meredith awkwardly. "I'm gonna go work." She started to walk away, but Bailey cleared her throat and Meredith found her feet once again frozen to the floor.
"Grey?" Meredith nodded slightly, wishing she hadn't suddenly forgotten how to speak as well as walk. "Better luck this time." Bailey's face was still expressionless, but her voice was surprisingly free of its usual brisk, blunt, disapproving Bailey-ness. As Bailey turned and walked away, Meredith realized her tone had almost been gentle.
-----
Meredith followed the familiar path through the hospital towards the office of Richard Webber. She didn't watch where she was going, but simply let her feet find their way along the maze of tiled corridors and across the bridge towards the great glass office. With every step, she was growing more and more certain that it was a bad idea. She had an affair… thought Meredith, her mind drifting back towards her mother. She was her mother now. She'd had an affair. A shorter one, but still, a married man was a married man. She was Derek's Ellis Grey, their lives suddenly seemed all too similar to talk about together. This is a bad idea, Meredith told herself, slowing her pace to a crawl. A patient, pushing his IV pole and struggling to take slow labored steps, outpaced her. He was her McDreamy, and he never left. Derek Shepherd, Richard Webber…the two men had parallel roles in a drama that had played out twice in as many generations. One version was broken, faded…over. The other…perhaps not so over, thought Meredith, forcing her feet to keep walking.
As Meredith approached the office and saw the two men through the window, Meredith suddenly felt a sharp pain of sympathy for her mother. She wasn't used to feeling sorry for her, but for a moment, she did. It was a sweet, simple pain, brought on by the sight of Derek sitting in a chair waiting for her. His legs were stretched easily out in front of him, but he leaned forward, his face lighting up as he caught sight of her. He'd left Addison, he was hers. It wasn't that Meredith had the fairytale ending while her mother did not. Meredith knew better then to think everything had suddenly become perfect. But she and Derek, they had the chance to finally, truly try. That was more then Ellis Grey had ever had.
And so Meredith took a shaky breath and knocked on the open door.
"Meredith, come in." That voice was Richard's. It was warmer then the last time he'd spoken to her in his office, before the prom. "Derek tells me the two of you want to talk to me." Meredith nodded her head, inching her way into the room. Derek looked up at her, his blue eyes encouraging as he held out his hand to her. Meredith instantly clasped his hand in hers as she took the last few steps and sat down beside him. It wasn't until she was sitting opposite Richard Webber, that she caught sight of the way he was eyeing their clasped hands. Meredith glanced down, suddenly remembering that it wasn't normal behavior for attendings to hold their intern's hand. But their fingers were locked tightly together, and Meredith didn't see the point in letting go.
"Yes. We do," said Meredith softly, amazed at her own ability to speak in complete sentences. "We wanted to tell you ourselves…" She looked over at Derek who was watching her steadily. He raised an eyebrow, and Meredith knew he was asking if she wanted him to speak. She shook her head slightly and looked back to meet Richard's eyes. "We're…umm…dating again. We're back together." She let out a long shaky breath, not realizing just how tightly she was clenching Derek's hand.
"I wasn't a fan of your relationship," said Richard, his voice low and grave. Meredith felt her heart skip a beat, and she heard Derek clear his throat, but Richard resumed speaking almost immediately. "That was before I saw the two of you apart." Meredith looked hesitantly between Derek and Richard, not quite sure where he was going. "You two don't know how to be apart without hurting - yourselves, each other, anyone who comes too near you." Addison, George, Finn, thought Meredith, the names playing over and over in her mind. She knew too well that he was right, and she closed her eyes as the memories of the past month washed over her.
"Meredith?" And that voice was Derek's. It was gentle and concerned as it easily turned three syllables into so much more then just a name. She looked up, suddenly realizing that a tear was rolling down her cheek. She wiped it away with her free hand. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah," she whispered, smiling apologetically at the two men sitting with her. "Sorry…you were saying Chief?" Meredith turned her attention back to Richard. His eyes were forlorn, but he smiled back at her.
"I'll spare you two the lecture on whether or not you really care for each other and if you realize what you're getting into."
"No secrets this time," said Derek, and even though he was looking at Richard, Meredith knew he was promising her. She laced their fingers tighter together as Richard shrugged and nodded.
"Just be professional here," said Richard. Before he could continue, they were interrupted by the familiar insistent beeping of a pager. Derek reached down, yanking his from the waistband of his scrubs.
"Mer…I'm sorry, I've gotta go. It's a 911," he said as he squeezed her hand and stood up. Meredith nodded, and Derek glanced back at Richard who just waved him away.
"Go on, we're all doctors here. No need to explain," said Richard, tilting his head towards the open door. "We're good here."
Meredith watched Derek hurry out the door, his gait just slightly less then a run. But once he'd vanished, Meredith found herself left alone with Richard. She looked cautiously into his eyes for a moment, shifting in her seat. He was completely silent, just watching her, that same forlorn look still filling his dark eyes. "I should…probably go check on my patients too," began Meredith as she inched out of her chair. "I don't want to keep you busy all day." Richard just nodded and muttered a vague response, seemingly lost in thought. It wasn't until she had made it halfway to the door that he finally spoke clearly.
"Meredith?" She pivoted back around, nodding her head politely.
"Sir?"
"You remind me so much of your mother." His voice was wistful and Meredith thought she heard a slight tremble beneath his words.
"Oh…" she said softly. He didn't say anything in response, so Meredith carried on towards the edge of the room. But as she stood in the doorway, he spoke again.
"I'm happy for you." Meredith froze with her back to Richard, her hand clutching at the molding in the doorway. "It's easy to hold on to safe. It's easy, it's familiar. It won't ever hurt you." Meredith closed her eyes, letting Richard's voice wash over her as she saw her mother's life and her own lined up in her mind. "It takes a brave person to try what you and Derek are trying…and I'm happy for you." So similar and so different, thought Meredith, having a hard time ignoring the fact that Richard's voice had cracked with emotion as he spoke. She swallowed hard and nodded, finally turning back around.
"Yeah…" she whispered, and she smiled slightly at him before disappearing across the bridge.
-----
Meredith went all day without seeing Derek as she rushed around, catching up on the work she had neglected in the morning. She was too busy to think about much, but by the time she was ready to go home, she felt exhausted.
"Hey…" said Derek softly, walking up to stand behind her as she waited for the elevator. Meredith twisted her head around to look at him. He was dressed to go home, and even though he looked tired, he was smiling down at her.
"Hey," echoed Meredith. "We told people," she added, still feeling slightly overwhelmed from her talk with the Chief.
"We did," agreed Derek.
"I told Bailey," said Meredith as they walked into the elevator. A woman got off as they entered, leaving the two of them alone in the small familiar box. "She seemed okay with it." Meredith yawned and let her head fall against Derek's shoulder.
"I told Addison." Meredith twisted immediately back around, raising an eyebrow as she looked up at Derek. His eyes were carefully searching her face. "She deserved to hear it firsthand, not as some passed around bit of gossip. I know you don't like…"
"Derek," interrupted Meredith, shaking her head. "I'm not upset. You're right."
"You aren't?" He smiled down at her, looking suddenly relieved. Meredith murmured a response as Derek reached out and pulled her towards him. "Come home with me tonight Meredith?" he asked softly.
"To the trailer?" Derek nodded his head, his eyes hopeful. Meredith smiled up at him, her breath catching. They were a risk, but they were a good risk. "Okay," she whispered, her whisper turning into a laugh as Derek pushed her against the wall of the elevator. "Derek, what are you doing?" she asked.
"Kissing you."
"Kissing me?" managed Meredith before his lips pressed hard against hers, stealing away her ability to speak. As soon as she moved to deepen the kiss, Derek pulled away again, grinning at her.
"Hey you started it. Elevator kissing? Was invented by you." And before Meredith could reply, she was back up against the wall again. Her hands tangled up in his hair as their mouths found each other. He was right. She loved elevators. Well, she'd hated them for a long time, but suddenly the frantic, intense, (struggle to get as much kissing done as possible before the elevator reached the next floor) type kissing seemed like a damn good reason to love elevators again.
The ding of the elevator doors came sooner then they'd expected, stopping at a floor that they hadn't pressed. Quickly, they pushed away from each other. Derek's arm dropped down to drape around Meredith's waist, and she smirked up at him, slipping her small hand into the back pocket of his jeans. But their smiles froze as the doors opened further and the new passenger stepped on.
"Addison."
"Derek," replied Addison calmly, raising an eyebrow almost imperceptibly. "Meredith," she added, turning to smile a tight-lipped smile in her direction.
"A…Addison," managed Meredith, suddenly painfully aware of how close she was standing to Derek. She shifted slightly, trying to decide if it would be worse to move out of Derek's grasp or simply remain leaning against him as if it was nothing. She closed her eyes, realizing that her hand was very clearly still shoved into Derek's pocket. My hand is on her husband's ass, thought Meredith, all of her attention suddenly shifting to her hand. Her ex-husband…still it's on her ex-husband's ass…Derek's…ass… Meredith glanced over at Addison, who was staring fixedly straight ahead. Maybe she doesn't notice, thought Meredith desperately, but she knew her hair was mussed and that her cheeks were likely flushed and the two of them were sandwiched together obviously in the back corner of the elevator. She had to bite her lip to keep from letting out a very noticeable sigh of relief when the doors finally opened on the main floor. Addison turned and smiled a curious, strained smile in their direction.
"Goodnight," she said and hurried off the elevator before Meredith's reply had even left her lips. Sighing, Meredith finally pulled away from Derek and sank down to sit on the floor of the elevator as the doors closed. She let her head fall forward and rest against her knees.
"Meredith?" asked Derek, kneeling down beside her in the suddenly stationary elevator.
"Oh…that was bad," moaned Meredith. "That was seriously bad. She must hate me."
"She doesn't hate you," said Derek gently. "She knows we're together remember?"
"Yes, but there is a huge difference between knowing two people are together and actually seeing them together." Derek frowned slightly, as if about to disagree with her, but Meredith shot him a look. "Trust me, I saw you with Addison for months," she said shortly, before letting her head fall back against her knees again.
"Okay," agreed Derek. "But things will get more normal. This was the first time, it was bound to be weird." Meredith nodded slightly.
"Lots of firsts today." Derek looked at her curiously. "Told Bailey, told the Chief, had your ex-wife catch me kissing you…" rambled Meredith, as Derek reached down and lifted her to her feet. "Big day," she murmured, letting her head drop against his shoulder. Yet again she felt overwhelmed, but it wasn't due to Derek this time. Everything surrounding them…yes, but finally not him. For once, as she followed Derek out to his car, his voice did nothing but calm her.