Chapter 11: "Getting Back to Normal"

Lunch came with Dobby who found the both of them asleep. He hurried out quietly. Harry came with dinner and news. Snape was going to be allowed back into Wizarding society. The Ministry had thoroughly reviewed the contents of the pensieve, checking it for tampering and such. They had determined it to be authentically Albus Dumbledore. McGonagall had also testified that she had been there when Snape first came to and warned of the impending attack on Muggles. Harry had also reminded them, while he was no fan of Severus Snape; Snape had protected him from being taken to Voldemort. McGonagall had agreed to keep Snape at Hogwarts castle and keep an eye on him. If he left the castle grounds, an auror was to accompany him. His license to apparate was now suspended. Neither was he allowed to resume his teaching duties. In other words, he was under house arrest. It chaffed him, but it was better than being in Voldemort's dungeon or in Azkaban. He quietly crept off to his rooms in the dungeons where he kept to himself. He would occasionally venture out to see what Poppy needed in the way of potions.

Hermione rejoined her classes only a few days behind in her studies. She had done reasonably well in keeping on task, especially during the time when Snape was asleep more than he was awake. Even after he became more active, she was able to keep up with her studies with some tutoring from Snape. Ron was delighted to see that she was none worse for the wear. He was mystified how she could have spent weeks with that "greasy git" and still maintained her good humour and most importantly her sanity. She would occasionally see Snape seated next to McGonagall in the Great Hall. When he saw her looking at him, he almost always looked away. That puzzled her.

Hermione had become rather proficient in the casting of nonverbal spells. At dinner near the Christmas break, she took her wand and ran it up her sleeve. Seeing Snape, she slipped it down into her hand. As soon as he made eye contact, she cast a silent, "Legilimens."

"Professor, please don't look away," she implored.

She could see his shoulders sag, then she heard him say, "Hermione…"

"I have missed you terribly, Severus."

"And I have missed you, as well."

"Meet me before curfew."

"Where?"

"Astronomy Tower."

She could feel a hitch in his breath, "Very well. I will meet you at eight," and he turned away and asked Professor Flitwick for the bread.

Hermione was pacing back and forth waiting for him to appear. She was not disappointed when he was a trifle early himself. She rushed into his arms and buried her face in his chest. He wrapped the cloak tightly around them and held her, savouring every moment. She smelled like the bubble bath he had last prepared for her.

"Why did you choose the Astronomy Tower, Hermione?" he wanted to know.

"Nobody ever comes here any more unless they have an observation to make. And tonight's cloudy, so I knew that we would be alone," she looked into his sad eyes. "I'm sorry that this place holds such painful memories for you, but it was the only place I could think of."

They broke the embrace and turned to look at the grounds from high above.

"Did you tell anyone about what you saw the last time we did legilimency?"

"No. I did not think you wanted anyone to know," she confided.

He sighed heavily, "You're right. It does nothing for my situation and could only serve to cause you difficulties."

"What kinds of difficulties?" she was curious.

"I don't want you tainted with what and who I am. I don't want others to think badly of you, Hermione. I don't want your friends to look at you askance," he was protective.

"Why on earth would they?" she queried.

"Because I am tainted to say the least. Most still think of me as nothing more than Albus Dumbledore's murderer who got off on a technicality," he mused.

"What is it that you're not telling me, Severus?" she looked at him as he stared off into space.

Turning back toward her, he gave her half a smile, "Quite a lot of things actually."

She moved to kiss him. He allowed her to brush his lips with her own. Then Snape took her cheek and stroked it tenderly. He closed his eyes, pulled her closer and rubbed her cheek with his nose, taking in the scent of her. He snuggled closer to her ear and continued to rub his face against hers. Then he broke it off hastily.

"This is not a good idea, Hermione."

"I don't care," she told him defiantly.

"But I do," he leaned down to kiss her ever so softly. "Minerva was right," he muttered as he pulled away again.

"What are you talking about? Kiss me, Severus," Hermione demanded.

He turned toward her, took her face in both hands, stroking her cheeks with loving circles. She had never seen the look in his eyes before. He was alive under those many layers of mask.

"No, Hermione. We cannot. It is inappropriate, no matter how much we'd want to," he began. "Please, Hermione, don't. It's for the best. You've trusted me before; trust me now."

She knew that arguing would not dissuade him. In fact, arguing might even push him further away. Fear dominated the foreground of her mind.

"Don't be afraid, Hermione," he spoke softly. "It will be all right in the end."

He moved to part when she begged him, "Then just once, please. I need you. I need to feel you near me. I want to taste you."

Snape gathered her in his arms, flung the cloak around them both, and kissed her with all the passion he could find in depths of his own needy soul. Then he backed away and swept off the Tower, leaving Hermione fighting back her tears. Snape was cursing their talent for legilimency as he strode back to his quarters. Sleep eluded them both, but when exhaustion finally took hold, erotic dreams followed them through the many nights that followed.

As spring approached, Snape came to the Great Hall fewer and fewer times. He had house elves bring him meals, when he got around to eating. Those who caught glimpses of him said that he was thinner than ever. He kept himself busy preparing healing potions for the war effort. There had been skirmishes nearly weekly. The toll of dead and wounded began to mount on both sides. Harry popped in and out monthly. He consulted the Restricted Section of the Library every now and again. It was on one such trip that he ran into Snape.

"Professor," Harry began.

Snape nodded, "We still have that truce in effect?"

Harry nodded respectfully, "We will need your help in defeating the Dark Lord."

"Very well, what can I do to help?"

"What can you tell me about Nagini?" Harry inquired.