Logan awoke with a start, nightmares. The same nightmares that had been haunting him since that day. He could still hear her in his head, almost taunting him. He could indeed hear her, but she wasn't there and he couldn't save her; add another notch onto the tally of people he had failed. He groaned loudly and turned over, once again his sheets were ribbons, strewn every which way, falling to the ground as he moved amongst them. He slowly got up, deciding to leave before the hotel staff notices that he, first of all, gave them a fake name and I.D. and second, he has ruined their linens. Sighing he strode towards the bathroom and turned on the shower, he glanced back in the room towards the clock on the night stand. 5:34 AM, he had exactly half an hour to get out of here before they started preparing for the coming day, and would see him leave. His breathing hitched as he stepped into the boiling shower, it was the only way he felt even remotely clean these days, and that feeling did not last long. He didn't mind it though, feeling dirty, climbing through Canada's vast forests with all of his senses heightened. Indeed it did tire him out, but he hadn't felt this way since before the incident. Who was he kidding, this feeling didn't even begin to compare with how he'd felt before, the wonderful normalcy of his prior life, but it did keep his anger, and in turn, the beast at bay.
Turning off the shower, he stepped out, grabbed a towel and opened the bathroom door to allow the room's humidity to disperse into the bedroom area. After about two minutes of sitting down, wallowing in his guilt, he grabbed another towel and attempted to dry his hair, out here you couldn't keep your hair wet, it would freeze outside. Stepping up to the mirror he turned the taps to cold and splashed the water over his face, looking up at his tired face in the mirror he sighed and proceeded to dry the rest of himself before walking out to the bed. Pulling his jeans over his swollen and overworked legs he hopped towards the dresser and grabbed his shirt, perhaps it would be wise to wash these in a river today. With that last thought he jumped out the window onto the fire-escape ladder, which plunged towards the ground, clanging loudly as it reached the earth, Logan jumped off quickly and disappeared into the darkness of the nearby forestry.
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After he had run for a few hours, he decided to stop running and find something to eat. He snuck around the forest until he found a deer, he watched it intently, its beautiful form and grace. Catching it by surprise he landed on the animal full force, killing it with the force of his blow and the penetration wounds his claws had made in its chest. Gathering some sticks and branches that had fallen, he broke them into workable pieces, and began to attempt a fire, twisting the wood until it became hot and sparked. Watching the flames dance around his deer meat he sat and thought, which was a dangerous thing, considering he was unrelentingly furious with himself. Disgusted even, with the way he ran from place to place, using people, all in an effort to forget. Forget what Logan? Life? You know you'll never forget it, and you can't run forever. Logan sighed, "I know." Peeling the meat from the stick, he gratefully ate, finishing all of the meat that was to be had. He sat back and watched the flames, once again. They need you; they are hurting just as bad. "Damnit! You don't think I know that?" He threw his head back against a tree. "I'm just not ready." When do you think you will be ready, when they're all dead? When you've finally succeeded in running from life? "Shut up!" Logan suddenly slumped and started to chuckle to himself. "Listen to me; talking to myself, maybe I'm a little insane." Or scared. Logan sat up. You're scared of what they think of you, what if they hate you? What if someone else has died? What if they blame you? "What if they do blame me?" Logan sighed, he had never cared about these things before, but as much as he hated to admit it, the people at the academy were his family, they at least made an effort to include him in their activities, and after the incident, he had left immediately, no words, no explanation, not even a growl in their general direction, he just left. Maybe its time you went back, just to see. "I think I will go back, as I said, just to see."
A/N This was my first attempt at an X-Men fic, please let me know what ya think?