Note: this story may upset some and for that I do apologise but it is a fictional story. Also to note the poems that will be spread throughout the story are thanks to my sister Emma, who wrote them and is part of my inspiration for this story.

Revelation…..

10/1/03

As my favourite book-'Planet Janet' states, "I don't want to end up sallow and superficial like so many other people. I'm going to be intense, serious and spend a lot of time nurturing my soul. I'm going to dress mainly in black."

That's exactly what I'm going to do. What's the point anyway, when no one approves of me? Even my new figure doesn't even seem to change people's opinions of having to be different. I don't know what people want from me?

I live in a place of doom and gloom where everything, at least for me seems dark and cold. I know I am anything but ordinary and different, and that is the way I like it. If only though I could actually be happy with being me and others too.!

15/1/03

I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM!

Why did he have to do this to me?

16/1/03

I hate him. I hate his eyes, his hair, his used to be warm touch, his wicked sense of humour. I hate it all. He is nothing in my eyes but a Neanderthal. I was so deluded to think he would actually like me. The lying, cheating scumbag!

17/1/03

Gabriella thinks it is for the best that I forget about HIM! When I say him, I mean Ryan.

Gabriella is my younger sister by like 1 minute. She is definitely my god half. I love her dearly-she is imaginative, positive, philosophical, poetic. She is everything I love and everything I am not. We are so different.

But it doesn't feel the void in me.

19/1/03

Me self centred! SELF CENTRED! That's what my mum said to me today. More like she is. So that's what I told her and after taking in this devastating realization, she sent me to my room, which is, where I am now contemplating what is going on and what to do with my life. She only sent me to my room because she knew I was right. But honestly, I am 16 years old and she is still sending me to my room and treating me like I am 2. How pathetic!

I am spiritually alone in this house. I find myself drifting further and further away from my family, my 'friends'………and myself.

I am a boat lost at sea with waves constantly crashing against me and drifting me further and further into the unknown, into the raging storm.