Here you go, long over due Pt 2, Further revelations, problems and answers.
Slash, as you well know, and me and Karen own nothing but our imagination and half a pot of Nutella.
Sara pulled away after a few minutes, smiling ''Im glad you took up my offer.''
"Sara, I want to make love to you." she whispered.
Sara
looked down, feeling nervous.
"I want you to experience it
with somone who is not going ot hurt you."
Sara looked up ''What if you don't like it? Me..?''
"Sara Sidle, I love you. " Catherine knew the woman would not believe her and wouldn't blame her for not.
''You love me?'' Sara whispered
''Yes Sara i do. Why do you think i act like i do''
''Why..''
Sara whispered looking at the floor
"Sara do
you remember that night we had the case about the mother that killed
her daughter?" Catherine played with Sara's hair.
''The
carnavial case?'' Sara asked not moving away from Catherine, yet not
moving closer
"Do you know why when you asked
me to go to lunch I said no?"
Sara shook her head no.
"Because I needed you, and I knew if I was with you in the
condition I was in I would have.. I needed you."
''Why
me?'' Sara asked, Love was something extremely new to Sara and it
confused her. and Catherine addmiting to needing her, scared her a
little
"Becaue you stand up to me, you don't
back down. When I throw my hissy fits you put me in my place."
she paused. "And you, exept for that one time, and you were
angry; throw my past in my face. Your not so Catheirne you were a
strippper, can you give me a lap dance.. Hey how much coke did you do
in a day?"
''I Dont care about your past..I dont like
mine, so why should a poke and prod at everyone elses...'' Sara
looked up ''Cath..I..'' Sara paused, gathering her thoughts ''I love
how i'm the only one who can call you Cat and get away with it..And I
Love how well we work together at work..But..I..I...''
"You
don't love me." Catherine turned away tears in her eyes.
''I..I
Don't know what Love is..'' Sara whispered ''Cath..Please dont push
me away..I Like you, I Trust you..I..I..Just, I dont know what Love
is...Ive never felt it before..And i don't want to move to
fast..Asking if you could make love to me, was one of the most
kindest, sweetest..Romantic, things ive ever heard..But i just dont
know if im ready for that kind of commitment..''
"Ok."
Cath stood up, feeling the rejection hitting her like a bolt of
lightthing
''Catherine..'' Sara was now even more confused, had
she just pushed Catherine away? Why was Catherine moving way from
her?
"I think I need some water." she said making her
way back to the kitchen, feeling like a turtle without its
shell.
''Catherine please..'' Sara was almost begging
"Sara
I'm confused." she grabbed the water from the fridge, "One
minute your all over me and the next.."
''Im scared.
ok? Im scared that after youve slept with me, you wont want me
anymore. That you'll get bored of me. Ive never loved anyone Cath,
I've never had sex, I've never even touched myself, i have no clue
what to do, or how fast i should move, or how this whole relationship
thing is supposed to work, so excuse me if all you want is a fuck,
and all i need is reasurrence, im scared ok..im scared..'' Sara was
somewhere between angry and shouting, and Upset and crying.
"I
don't want to fuck you Sara, and I find it hard to believe a woman of
34 has never even touched herself."
''Harder
to belive then a 34 year old virgin?'' Sara snapped ''What do you
want from me?'' She shouted.
"I
want you to love me, as I love you." Catheirne sat at the table,
not openening her drink. "Sara I'm tired of games, I'm 43 years
old and alone. I have my daughter who hates me.. I have a job that
rules me.."
''Your daughter doesn't hate you, she
doesn't understand you, your job doesn't rule you, you let it consume
you, and you cant just snap your fingers and expect me to fall head
over hells in love Catherine''
"No I can't."
she opened the bottle an drank it.
''So
is this it? I let you kiss me, I tell you my biggest secret, and then
you just ignore me?'' Sara whispered angrily, feeling hurt, feeling
used
"Sara, right now I just feel very open.. I
don''t know where you stand. DO you even want to try?"
''Yes,
Cath i want to try, im just scared, ok. You love me, and ive never
felt that before, ive never been told that before..You want to take
something from me, something i can never get back..Catherine, i do
want to try, i do, and when im ready..''
Catherine
was just as scared as Sara was, yeah she had been with women before,
she had been with me, but none she cared for as much as the brunette
she worked with. Why couldn't Sara see that this was her way of
dealing with fear, always had been. When Cath got scared, she found
the nearest bed to climb in and get laid. She was terrified, christ
her hands were now shaking.
Sara stood walking over to Catherine,
noticing her hands ''Cath..Cath? Whats wrong..'' Sara tryed to steady
her hands ''Cath?''
"I'm scared Sara. I know I have slept
around but with you it's different.. I feel something I never felt
before.. I don't want to rush you, but I don't want to lose you
either." he voice was but a whisper.
''Why would you
loose me?'' Sara asked
"All I know, the only
way I know to show love and affection is with my body.."
Sara
smiled ''We can learn together, how to love without our body, and you
can show me how to use it..'' Sara paused again ''Cath..Will you be
my girlfriend?'' Sara looked at the floor ''Dates, Letters,
Kisses..The whole nine yards..''
"Wow, I never got letters."
''I thought that was a big part in courting..'' Sara
shrugged ''Guess im stuck in the 80's..''
"Guess
so.. No I just pick loosers most of the time. Ones that like to use
me as a punching bag."
Sara looked up.
"Leave me
black and blue.. broken bones."
''Cath..''
"Yeah
Sara.."
''I would never hit you..ever.''
"I guess I
got so used to it with my old man that I just got used to it.''
''Did you report it?''
"No one
beleived me, my parents made me out to be a liar.. I was a coked up
stripper with the guys I chose.." she stopped. "I do recall
that one time I did go to the hospital, they refused to do a kit on
me at first.. Then the whole time they were doing it they talked
about how people who do what I do were whores and tramps, and can you
guess how many semen samples will pull from this one.. I got up in
the middle of it.. Funny thing is I ended up staying cause when I
tore that thing from between my legs wow now that hurt..."
Sara
closed her eyes
"I just want to be loved, but I guess my old
man was right when he said no one would ever.."
''Shh, Thats
not true, you have a lot of people who love you Catherine, You annoy
me, no doubt, but your my friend, and i love you like one, and if you
let me be your girlfriend, i will fall in love with you even
more.''
"Sara can you do something for me."
''What..''
"Just lay with me, hold
me.. I lost armor and I really feel open right now, and I need
someone to cover me, and I want it to be you." she looked ot
Sara. "I don't want sex, I want protection."
''Well...''
Sara pretented to think ''You did let me eat your Nutella..Do you
have a spare toothbrush?''
"I think so, I
always keep a couple on hand, you now need to change one every
month.. "
''Id love to sleep over..''
"Thank you."
Cath brushed her hair behind her ear. "I just wish I could learn
that I am worth more then what's between my legs."
''Well,
the last time i checked i use my head and logic when working a scene,
and your one of the best CSI's i know, so id say your head's worth
lot'' Sara smirked
"Sara you really are a sweetheart."
she stood. " really need to lay down."
''Sounds
like a plan, where's your bathroom?''
"It's
down the hall, let me show you."
''Thankyou.''
