Ch. 8
"Hey Carr?" Caroline heard from the bathroom, which besides doors, was the only thing separating Caroline's room from Logan's.
"Yeah Lo?"
"I really miss him"
"I miss him too"
"Think we'll ever get past this?"
"Yeah" Caroline told her little sister, barely above a whisper
"Oh that was convincing" Logan responded sarcastically, now walking into Caroline's room
"Here, come sit down" Caroline said as she gestured towards the bed, which she was already under
"Thanks. I don't know I just feel really helpless and sad and angry and"
"Why are you angry?" Caroline interrupted
"Because if Matthew had just been going slower and not speeding like we always told him not to, then he would still be alive right now and none of this would be happening" Logan reasoned
"We don't know that Lo, something else could have happened. His friend, Kyle, who was speeding behind him, he could have crashed into Matt or Matt could have just lost control of the car. You can't live life on 'what if's' and you know that"
"Yeah, I do. Look, I'm sorry I'm keeping you up, I'll just go back to my room"
"You're not keeping me Logan" Caroline said with a little laugh "Why don't you just stay for the night?"
"Stay with you? In your room?" Logan asked surprised
"No, out in the hallway. Yes in my room. Come on, I have a huge bed, there's room. Today has definitely taught me that life isn't guaranteed, and you're my little sister and it's my job to protect you and take care of you and just… hang out with you. Remember when we used to do that? Just hang out? Now I don't even know who you're crush is, or your boyfriend. Oh My G-d! I don't even know if you have a boyfriend! What kind of big sister am I?" Caroline asked rhetorically, but Logan answered her anyways
"Calm down Caroline. I don't have a boyfriend… yet. I might soon. I've been hanging around this kid and we've been getting closer and… and you're not a bad big sister. I promise you. Look, let's just go to sleep and we'll fill each other in on our lives in the morning. I don't know about your boys either"
"Ok, deal" Caroline said as she opened up the covers and Logan climbed in
"Thanks for this"
"Anytime Logan"
The Morgan house fell asleep as best they could. But at about 6:00 in the morning Courtney woke up. She lied in bed for a few minutes, and then had an urge to get up. She carefully pulled Jason's arm off of her, a skill she had only recently mastered, then quietly got out of the bed and walked down the hall. She went into each room to check on all the kids.
The first was Emme. Courtney quietly opened the door to find her peacefully asleep, on her side. 'Just like Jason' Courtney though to herself. Courtney closed the door and was tempted to open the bedroom door next to Emme's, the guest room, to see if Blake was there. She stopped herself though and instead went to Caroline's room. She opened the door to see not one sleeping beauty, but two. Her heart melted at the sight of her two youngest. She smiled, closed the door, and kept going down the hall. She skipped over Logan's room since she was already with Caroline, and went to JJ's. Just like all the others, JJ was sound asleep. She shut the door and walked to the last room: Matthew's.
Courtney, for a quick second, forgot that Matthew wasn't going to be there. She expected Matthew to be asleep like all the other kids. So she opened the door and stepped in. The bed was un-made, with no one in it. Courtney felt the tears coming up, but she stopped herself. Courtney slowly walked forward more and saw pictures of her son and all of his soccer trophies and other possessions of his. She slowly melted to the ground and cried. She tried to keep quiet, but it was no use. The tears kept coming, louder and harder. And she didn't care.
Jason awoke to find himself alone in his bed. He heard something, but couldn't quite place it. He sat up and listened. It was crying. But who's crying? It could have been anyone. Then he listened closer: Courtney.
Logan's eyes shot open. She listened closely to hear tears coming from down the hall. She slowly turned to the right and nudged Caroline.
"Caroline?"
"What do you want Logan? Go back to sleep" Caroline told her. She wasn't very friendly in the morning.
"I hear crying. I think its mom"
Caroline sat up in bed and she heard it too. The whole house quickly woke up to hear Courtney's tears. Emme, JJ, even Blake. Jason got out of bed and walked over to Courtney, and held her as she cried. The rest of the kids just lied in bed and cried too. They couldn't do anything but cry. And that was what hurt.
It was now 7:30, and the Corinthos family walked in.
"Carly, it doesn't even look like they're awake" Kristina told her step-mother
"I thought they'd be up by now. Wait, what is that?" They all fell silent and listened. They heard crying. All of their hearts broke.
"Ok, you kids go into the kitchen and make some breakfast" Carly ordered. They walked out and did as they were told.
"Come on Sonny let's go see them" Carly said as she grabbed Sonny's hand and walked him up the stairs. They both walked towards the cries and found Courtney and Jason sitting in the middle of the room, crying and holding each other. Carly quickly started crying and Sonny put his arm around her. Courtney heard something going on behind her, so she slowly turned her head to see her brother and sister-in-law.
"Hi guys" Courtney weakly said
"Oh sweetie" Carly said as she walked towards Courtney and sat down next to her to hold her and cry with her. Jason backed away and let the two women be together. Jason and Sonny walked into the hall, to be met with all the Morgan children
"Hey everyone" Jason said as she walked towards them. He noticed Emme was next to Blake, so he moved right in between them.
"Hi dad" Emme told him back
"Uncle Sonny are your kids downstairs?" Logan asked
"Yeah, they're making breakfast" he responded
"We'll go down and help them. Come on girls. And Blake" JJ said, but Blake's name was said with a little bit of emphasis. Blake noticed it. So did Emme.
The kids went downstairs and Sonny and Jason re-joined Courtney and Carly in Matthew's bedroom. They were all standing now and Courtney had stopped crying
"Hey, are you ok?" Jason asked Courtney
"Yeah, I'm ok now" she told him "Where are the kids?"
"Downstairs, making breakfast"
"All of them?" Courtney asked surprised
"Yup, with Sonny and Carly's kids and Blake"
"Blake huh?"
"Don't start on that"
"Maybe there could be a little good coming out of this and Emme and Blake will get closer"
"I know better than to ask why that would be a good thing… but baby, just know I'm thinking it"
"I know Jase" Courtney winked at him "Come on, let's go downstairs and see how much our kitchen is being destroyed."
"Destroyed?" Sonny questioned
"Definitely destroyed Sonny"
The kids had actually made a good breakfast. Granted, Sonny ended up stepping in and lending a hand, but still, it was good. They all sat at the very large Morgan dining table, which was intended for meals with all the family.
"Mom?" Emme asked
"Yeah Emme?"
"Don't we have to tell people? Like Grandpa Mike, Grandma Janine, all the Quartermaine's, Bobbie, all of Matt's friends."
"Yeah, we should."
"Could they already know? I mean, Jason Morgan's son dying is probably pretty big news" said Caroline. Jason felt himself shrinking at that point.
"The phones would probably be ringing off the hook if that was true, so who wants to call who?" Courtney asked "I'll do Janine, Sonny you want to do Mike?"
"Yeah, yeah that's fine"
"I'll call Bobbie" Carly offered
"Matthew's friends… Caroline you probably know who should be called since you're only a year younger. So you can call a few of them and Quartermaine's… Jason?"
"Yeah, I'll do that"
"I'll call his soccer coach" JJ proposed "Since I was on the team last year, I know him"
"Alright… let's go and make these phone calls"
All the calls were made and everyone was obviously upset. Soon, the news crews got wind of the accident and Caroline was right; Jason Morgan's son dying was pretty big news. The crews camped outside, frustrating Courtney. Mike, Bobbie, Emily, Nikolas they're married, Monica, and Alan soon arrived. Through all the chaos, Sonny noticed Courtney walked out to the back porch and was crying. He walked out to talk with her
"A penny for your thoughts?"
"Hi Sonny" Courtney responded, not even bothering to wipe her tears because she knew more would come anyways.
"What are you doing out here?"
"Thinking"
"About?"
"I just don't get this. I realized that Matthew or any of my other kids or your kids could die from a bullet or explosion because that's our life, that's what I prepared myself for the second I found out I was pregnant with JJ and Emme. Well, I thought that the second after I thought 'Holy Sh!t'. But he wasn't supposed to die in a car crash. It wasn't even hit and run! It wasn't anything to do with the business. It was just… an accident. But I can't help but think that I should have prevented this accident. I was his mother. It's my job to protect him and keep him safe and I failed and it cost him his life. Now my son's dead and I can barely walk never mind get on with the rest of my life. I have 4 other children and a husband who need me to be Superwoman and right now I can't" Courtney ended, obviously exhausted from her speech. Then she became embarrassed. "Sorry, you didn't really want to hear that. You just asked "about" as a courtesy. Wow, I just can't win lately" Courtney responded, the hurt more than obvious in her voice
"I did want to hear that because I wasn't asking "about" as a courtesy, I was asking it because I want to know. You're my little sister and we argue like its World War III, but there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. Seeing you like this, seeing our family like this, it breaks my heart. I would do anything to take this away for you Courtney and make it all better. But I can't. But I can be here for you and whenever you need to scream and cry and be angry I'm here. Because that's what big brother's do, and I am your big brother, always and forever. I love you Courtney"
"Dammit, Sonny you're going to make me start crying again" she responded, the light somewhat back in her eyes. Then she did start crying, but she did so into Sonny's chest. They stayed like that for a while, and then finally went back in, to be met with everyone.
The principal of Matthew, Caroline, Logan, and Adella's school walked towards Courtney and Jason, who were now holding hands, along with Matthew's soccer coach. They knew the coach, Mr. James, through all their years as "soccer parents" and Aunt and Uncle. All Corinthos/Morgan kids played on the soccer team. Courtney played in high school, so that's where her kids got it from. The Corinthos kids were sort of forced to by the Morgan kids, as usual.
"Mr. and Mrs. Morgan, I and the rest of Port Charles High School are extremely saddened by the news of Matthew's death. Coach James and I can only come over quickly, we have to announce it to the school although most already know, but we wanted to come over and see how you are doing."
"Thank you Principal Miller. Our family is doing alright. We are very upset obviously, but we're managing because that's what Matt would have wanted" Courtney told the older man
"We have placed memory boards outside so all the students can sign and there are teachers and counselors available all the time so students can talk about how they're feeling. Matthew was a very beloved member of the PC High Community and he will be missed
"Thank you Principal Miller. And you too Mr. James for coming"
The conversation continued for a little while, before ending with the principal and coach promising to see the Jason and Courtney at the funeral tomorrow. Tomorrow was the funeral. Everyone was dreading it. No one was ready and they didn't think they ever would be. A funeral meant it was real. A funeral meant that this was their life right now and not some awful, horrible nightmare. A funeral meant Matthew Morgan was gone. And no one wanted that.