Pulling my long black cloak closer around me, I picked my way across the moonlit grounds. I made no sound as I walked slowly on and on. I didn't notice the beauty of the surrounding night, my heart was too enclosed in sorrow. It has been three months now and the pain never grew any less. I could still see his face, eyes wide in shock. I shook my head to clear it. I didn't want to think about that now. As I passed the big iron gates, I turned my mind to the last night we had been together.
Severus stood at the window of my room, overlooking the grounds that were bathed in the silver light of the full moon. I walked up behind him and put my arms around his hips, placing a kiss upon his naked shoulders.
"You look worried."
"It's nothing Morna, I'm just thinking about tomorrow," he replied and pulled me in front of him, leaning his head on my shoulder.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow when Voldemort himself planned to enter this school, killing Harry Potter once and for all. The Order was informed of course, and security was as high as never before.
"It will be alright," I said quietly.
But it hadn't been all right. I had reached the lakes edge now and took the narrow footpath that led around it.
The Great Entrance Doors were broken and in the sky above I could just glimpse the greenish shimmer of the Dark Mark. Voldemort and at least twenty Death Eaters were battling the Order of the Phoenix.. Severus was still acting his part, fighting among the Death Eaters and making sure that his spells only stunned while pretending to hex to kill. I had just finished Avery and was now finding myself eye to eye with the Dark Lord. His face broke into a distorted smile and he raised his wand..
"Crucio!"
"Protego!" My shield blocked the spell in the last minute; I was just about to perform another hex, as a stray disarming spell hit me from behind. I heard Voldemort's crazed laughter and desperately called out.
"Accio wand!"
"Avada Kedavra!" Voldemort had spoken at the same time. I saw my wand flying towards me in slow motion and knew it would never reach me in time; besides there was no way to fend off this curse…
Suddenly Severus was in front of me and the jet of green light hit him instead of me.
"No!" I screamed. I didn't care about Voldemort, didn't hear the others shouting. Severus was falling slowly and gracefully backwards into my arms. I went down with him and his sightless eyes stared up at me, eyes wide in shock.
"No!" I screamed again, hugging him to my chest and rocking back and forth.
I had reached my destination: a small, secluded bay, hidden by silver birch trees. There was a small patch of mossy-green grass near the bank. I smiled sadly. Oh how happy we had been here!
I pulled off the last of my garment and ran laughing into the warm water.
"Come on, it's wonderful!"
He followed more slowly and took me into his arms. The water was rising to our chest now. Severus gently brushed my hair back from my face and kissed me. I ran my hands down his back and deepened the kiss…
But he was dead. He would never touch me again, never smile at me again, never look at me again in that way that had always made me shiver with anticipation. Never again would I hear his voice, never again.
In joy and sorrow my home's in your arms
In world so hollow
It is breaking my heart
In joy and sorrow my home's in your arms
In world so hollow
It is breaking my heart
I let my cloak fall to the ground, standing there only in a thin but long white dress. Slowly I stepped into the cool water. Farther and farther I went into the dark lake, until the light waves were gently caressing my thighs. I flicked my wand and a black rose appeared in my hand. I brought it to my lips and kissed it.
I'm waiting for you to drown in my love
So open your arms
I'm waiting for you to open your arms
And drown in this love
Now I moved my wand again, this time n a long arch. The water around me was now afloat with flowers: Anemones, pink and red carnations, cattails, forget-me-nots, purple hyacinths, poppies, primroses, red, white, black and dark crimson roses and sweetpeas. I smiled sadly as I surveyed my wet soon-to-be grave.
Ophelia among the flowers…
I threw my wand back to the bank and took a few more steps towards sweet oblivion. The ground now became rapidly steeper and within moments the water came up to my shoulders. My long black hair was already mingled with the many flowers. I closed my eyes and lay back. Back among the flowers. They were all around me, caressing me, promising me release. I was sinking oh so slowly. Soon, soon now we would be reunited. And I was floating among the flowers.
No one can hurt you now
In this haven safe and sound
No one can save you now
From this grace you are drowning in
Just hold your breath on your way down
This fortress of tears
And the rest is silence.
THE END.
PS:
Meaning of the flowers:
Anemone:Unfading love
Carnation, pink:I'll never forget you
Carnation, red:My heart aches for you
Cattail:Peace
Forget-me-not:True love, memories
Hyacinth, purple:Sorrow
Poppy:Eternal sleep, oblivion
Primrose:I can't live without you
Rose, red:Love
Rose, white:Eternal love
Rose, black:Death
Rose, dark crimson:Mourning
Sweetpea:Goodbye, departure