Lucas's words echoed in her head… FBI agent.
Elizabeth stood up and began pacing. Lucas could see the wheels turning, she was certainly thinking and processing. He didn't know what to make of her behavior and she had yet to say one word after his reveal. A minute stretched into five minutes and she still hadn't spoken. Occasionally she'd stop, turn and look at him for a moment like she was piecing together a puzzle then resume retracing her steps.
His palms actually started to get clammy, something that hadn't happened since he'd been an awkward teenager. Finally, Lucas had to say something to fill the quiet and try to get her to talk to him. "Elizabeth…"
Only he was cut off when Elizabeth raised her hand in a stop-talking motion saying, "Shush." His eyebrows rose at that gesture, both surprised and a little impressed. Then she took another long moment to look at Lucas, assessing his features and outward behaviors. Yes, those wheels were still churning. She walked into the kitchen and returned to the settee with a glass of water for herself.
Steeling himself for whatever Elizabeth might say next, Lucas held her gaze, showing her with his eyes how much he loved and adored her. Elizabeth took a long drink of water and then put the glass down.
Elizabeth reached for Lucas's hand and heard him release a long breath like he'd been holding it for a while. He needed her physical contact to settle some of his anxiety. Looking directly into his eyes she started to share her thoughts.
"Lucas, part of me wants to say this news is surprising but really I don't think that it is. All the time I was pacing I was replaying our every moment since we first met in front of the saloon in a different light. From the beginning I remember you saying, in your oh-so-confident manner, 'I can read people, it's what I do.' While at the time I thought you were being cocky, I quickly learned that is one of your superpowers." Lucas finally cracked a small smile at the comic book reference. He and Jack had been enjoying reading the adventures of Superman together.
"But…" Lucas could hear the tension and her voice was getting louder with each word.
"I am also very hurt that you've been keeping this from me since we have been courting. What we have together is special and our relationship has deepened into a beautiful unity. We've shared so much about our dreams, about what we wanted to be when we grew up, and your deepest heart's wishes for your family to live in one place and finally feel like you are home..." Tears began to well in her eyes, and in a more subdued tone, she added, "And our beautiful promises to each other after your race that afternoon."
Choking on her emotions she opened up saying, "I feel like this is only coming up now because of the situation we are facing with Walden. I just wish you had told me everything willingly, not because you feel your hand is being forced." At this, her tears finally spilled onto her cheeks.
Lucas felt a brief moment of relief when she said "we" just now. But then there was an uncomfortable pause in the conversation and he knew she was ready to listen to him.
"Elizabeth, I am so very sorry I've hurt you, especially now around your birthday. I've never wanted to ever hurt you. When you hurt, I hurt. And I've bruised my own heart knowing this is my fault." Lucas reached out to caress her cheeks and wipe away her tears. Elizabeth leaned into his caress, breathing him in. Lucas tucked her hair behind her ear. "You mean everything to me and you and Jack are all that matters. Nothing will ever be a higher priority to me than my family. That is who you are. You and Jack are my family, Elizabeth." Lucas paused to collect his wayward emotions.
"There were so many times I wanted to share this with you. This part of my past isn't something I try to think about very often, my life as an agent. Maurice's death was unofficially considered in the line of duty. However, with my connection to Maurice, the agency and I felt it was best to list his death as an accident so I could continue to work the casinos. I needed to know who was responsible for his death and the only way I could find it would be to keep my cover.
Amos Dixon was one of the shadiest characters in New Orleans. Maurice and I got to know him well sitting at the same tables with him. The more we learned it was clear he was a bigger player than we thought and he had powerful political and law enforcement in his pocket. After Maurice's death we planned for Janette to take the loan from Amos to try to trap him once he forced her for payments. I helped her open the cafe and falsify financials in order to set up a solid story for Amos to believe she was desperate and needed extra time to pay back the loan. It was working in our favor until Amos set fire to the cafe with Janette inside. I'm so thankful I was able to save her from the fire, I couldn't lose another friend to this man."
Lucas looked a thousand miles away from where he sat next to Elizabeth as he relived the telling of these events. Elizabeth scooted closer to Lucas to offer him comfort and support. She reached out to gently run her fingers through his hair and his beard because she knew this helped him relax.
"Janette and I moved to San Francisco to separate ourselves logistically from Amos. But I also knew he had started to spread his business like many others from New Orleans to other big cities. He was starting to make a big name for himself in the San Francisco casinos already. Under the radar, I tried to learn as much as possible but those efforts were short lived when Janette heard that Amos was on the hunt for us. So we moved again to Cape Fullerton as we learned Amos now had dealings smuggling liquor as well as other illegal trading through the harbor."
Elizabeth interrupted, "I thought the North-West Mounted Police was established there. How could he possibly get away with all this?"
"The NWMP closed the post about seven years ago giving Amos plenty of room to establish his illegal activities. When Janette and I arrived the Mounties had already returned to try to gain some control. We worked to reestablish ourselves there and build relationships with others who didn't want to give up their homes or livelihoods to the likes of Amos Dixon. When I received word from New Orleans agents Amos was still hunting for us, Janette and I decided it was time to split up. I was fortunate that about that time Tom had put the saloon up for sale.
Before I moved to Hope Valley I officially resigned from the FBI. I needed to put that behind me with the exception of always looking out for Janette. Owning a saloon was a dream Maurice and I always talked about. We wanted a happy place for our patrons to go when they needed to unwind, looking for a friendly poker game, and have something special to celebrate. But most of all everyone would feel welcome and safe here. I knew it was fate telling me Hope Valley was my future. And the town name gave me hope that I could start fresh and be able to live the kind of life I had dreamed of finding."
Elizabeth grabbed Lucas's hands and gently kissed each. "Lucas Bouchard, you are an honorable man and I am so blessed you are mine. You give so selflessly to everyone, always putting yourself last. I see it in all you do for Jack and me, our neighbors, and even the town's youth. But you often forget the people in Hope Valley care about you and take care of their own, which includes you. It's ok to trust others even though most of your early life you were on your own and you had to learn far too early in life to be self-sufficient. I know how much it cost you emotionally to share all of this with me. And I thank you for trusting me with your heart and your sorrows.
I can relate to some of what you shared. From my experience with Jack's Mountie business sometimes I just couldn't know the details no matter how much I wanted to know. And from what you shared even your parents are unaware of what you were doing for years. Lucas, I want to comfort and support you in your sorrows. I believe in you and support anything you ever have to do because I know you will always choose the right and just path."
Almost with disbelief in his eyes, Lucas pull Elizabeth into his arms and held her close. He breathed in the lavender and vanilla scent he always smelled in her hair. He pulled back slightly to gently and adoringly kiss her lips and whispered. "I don't deserve you."
"Yes, you do," Elizabeth replied.
Lucas stood and stretched his stiff muscles from sitting for some time. Elizabeth looked at him with the question obviously on her face… where are you going? He smiled and gave her an index finger wave, signaling one moment.
He walked over to the Victrola and turned on a slow jazz song. Walking back towards Elizabeth he extended his hand. "Dance with me."
Rising she reached for his hand and stepped into his embrace. Lucas held her close, bringing her right hand to lay over his heart. Elizabeth laid her head on his chest sighing in contentment. The worst of this day was behind them now. They swayed to the song in their hearts for each other.
Lucas lifted her chin so he could see her beautiful blue eyes. The look in his eyes mesmerized her. Then Lucas finally spoke the words she had longed to hear from him.
"I love you." Hearing these words verbalized for the first time transformed Elizabeth's whole countenance, she radiated pure joy and happiness.
"And I love you." Her eyes sparkled with the amazing joy she felt saying those words finally.
Reaching up, Elizabeth with her hands behind his head, threaded her fingers into his hair and eagerly pulled him into a passionate kiss. Lucas wrapped his strong arms around her and leaned into kiss, losing himself in the passion she ignited in him. After another heated passionate deep kiss, they pulled their lips away and breathing heavily rested their foreheads against each other.
He started to loosen his hold on her but Elizabeth held on tightly to his broad shoulders. Looking into his smoldering eyes, with a lingering passionate gaze she whispered to him, "Oh how your kisses make me weak in the knees, Lucas. Keep holding me so I don't fall."
"Elizabeth, I will never let you fall. I will always keep you safe." He kissed her forehead and she snuggled into his chest, resting her head on his shoulder. They swayed to the music calming their beating hearts.
She looked outside at the afternoon sunlight. "I guess it's about four o'clock now."
"Almost, it's 3:45. What time did you tell Rosemary you'd pick up Jack?"
"I told her I didn't know for sure but I don't want him to overstay his welcome either. I'll go next door to get him."
"And I'll get dinner started and in the oven. I think I saw Gustave's chicken pot pie he made for Jack in the ice box, yesterday. I'll get the oven preheated. Do you have any biscuits from the cafe still or are we making them tonight?"
"We will need to make them. That will be a fun but messy family activity with Jack. You know he loves it when you two make a mess in the kitchen," she said with a big laugh.
"Ok we do make a mess but you know your boys make the best biscuits!" Lucas grinned.
"Alright you get the ingredients together and I'll be right back with Jack."
Rosemary opened the door wearing a slightly worried expression. "Is everything alright with Lucas, Elizabeth?"
"We are better now, Rosemary. Thank you for taking Jack this afternoon so Lucas and I could talk."
"It was my pleasure. You know how much I adore spending time with Jack. He is going to be a very bright little man."
"Auntie Rosemary, I am not little! I am a big boy now!!" Jack yelled from his place on the floor where he was building a wooden puzzle.
"Jack, inside voice, please," Elizabeth reminded him. He just grinned mischievously in response. She thought… oh boy, I am in trouble now, already he's picking up some of his buddy's charming habits like that grin to try to get out of trouble. She just chuckled at her son's antics.
"Come on big boy, let's get home so you and Lucas can make biscuits."
"YES!!!" was Jack's response as he jumped up in the air pumping his fist up high. "Let's go, momma!" he yelled again as he raced for the door. He stopped abruptly remembering his manners and ran to Rosemary and tackled her legs in a big hug. "I love you, Aunt Rosemary. I got to go cook with my buddy. Bye!"
Rosemary and Elizabeth just giggled at his enthusiasm. "I'll see you later, Rosemary, thanks again."
By the time Elizabeth made it to the bottom of the Coulter's front porch, she could hear Jack excitedly talking to Lucas.
"Ok Jack, I measured out all the ingredients while your momma picked you up next door."
"Oh man," Jack said in disappointment. He loved to measure out the ingredients, his buddy made it lots of fun.
"Oh well, I didn't think you would be too disappointed since you are going to get to mix it all together today."
"I am? Really?"
"Yes, sir! Are you ready?"
"Let's do it, buddy."
Elizabeth decided to let them enjoy their fun in the kitchen while she distracted herself with a new book Helen sent her to read. Besides, the less she saw of the mess they were making the better.
"Alright let me get the butter out of the ice-box. Do you remember what to do next?"
"I use this cutter to mash up the cold butter into tiny pieces," Jack said proudly.
"That's right, Jack. That is called a pastry cutter. Are you ready to use your muscles? Good job, buddy! I'm going to start adding the flour mixture now, keep using your muscles. Does it look ready to add the milk?"
"Yes, it looks all crumbly. We are ready for the milk."
When the dough was mixed thoroughly, Jack picked up the ball of dough and put it on the floured surface Lucas prepped. He got a very focused look on his face while he worked the dough like Lucas taught him. Lucas just loved everything about this little guy, he was so smart like his momma and they were about to make that big mess Elizabeth was trying to ignore was happening.
Jack grabbed the rolling pin and rolled out the dough. Lucas grabbed the greased pan for him to place his biscuits in. After he placed the first biscuit in the pan, Jack giggled and said, "Sorry, buddy!" Now he was laughing hysterically. His first shot of flour at Lucas hit him right in the face. Almost his whole beard was white.
"Oh so we are going to be like that are we?" And Lucas reciprocated and the flour fight commenced. Elizabeth knew what was happening behind her and she was ignoring it until she heard her name. Glancing up she saw both of her boys stalking toward her. They were both covered head to toe in flour! And it looked like she was their next target.
"Momma! I made the biscuits all by myself this time," Jack said with a grin. Then he darted towards her. Elizabeth jumped up from her seat and barely escaped Jack's attempt to throw two fists full of flour at her. "Oh no, I missed! Get her, buddy!" Jack's giggles were infectious and Elizabeth was trying to keep Lucas away from her.
"Now, Lucas…" Elizabeth said in a warning to him.
"What?" He gave her his trademark smirk, eyes lighting with mirth and his dimples full and distracting her. THIS. MAN.
Lucas continued stalking her, his long legs making up the distance quickly. They now stood on opposite sides of the kitchen table, circling, each trying to outmaneuver the other. Elizabeth knew it was hopeless but she would not go down without a fight.
Lucas saw the light of battle cross her face and knew he was probably in for it. One thing he loved about her was her feisty and competitive spirit. Then she took her chance, darting around the table quick enough to reach the flour bag. She had reached in and grabbed a handful of flour just in time before Lucas reached her, head down in a charging stance. Both laughing into a serious fit of giggles, Lucas's fist of flour hit Elizabeth and covered her face and chest completely.
Stopping to try to catch their breaths Elizabeth finally looked at Lucas and promptly fell into a nearby kitchen chair and was laughing so hard, she was grabbing her sides that hurt and tears of laughter were tracing down her floured face.
Jack was rolling around on the floor laughing and every time he looked at Lucas he giggled harder. Finally, he managed to get some words out saying, "Buddy, you lost the battle!"
Lucas quickly turned to look at himself in the mirror and his eyes widened in surprise. He knew Elizabeth's shot hit him but she was very devious in her attack. He turned to her saying, "Really, Elizabeth?" making her go into another fit of laughter. "You attacked my hair?"
"It's not looking so glorious now, is it?" Elizabeth retorted. By now Jack had come closer to them and fallen into his momma's side and the two were hanging onto each other laughing away.
Lucas gave her a smug look saying, "Ok. Uh-hun… you just wait…" And in his wickedest voice, he said, "I'll get you my pretty… and your little boy too!" He reached Jack's side and started tickling him.
He may have lost this family battle, but Lucas knew he couldn't wait for the next. Yes, he thought, this is exactly where he wanted to be.