Author's Note: This chapter's a bit longer, but it contains two very important scenes! So read carefully, because they contain "clues" as to what happens later on and build up towards the plot! (YES there is a plot here!) I disclaim some things I write which aren't completely thought up on my own. Some are based on lyrics which I obviously don't own. If you can guess any of them, you win at life wink Okay, I'll shutup now. And please try to review! The previous ones were so sweet and extremely appreciated!
Diabolical Rapture Chapter 2: Venom
With the blink of an eye, 11:00 P.M. transformed into 6:00 A.M. My plan of action to approach Riku this morning had been gnawing at my mind throughout the entity of those seven hours, forcing me to toss and turn with restlessness. On the other hand, Riku didn't appear to be a very noisy sleeper. When I say this, I mean he didn't snore, toss, or turn on clamoring springs while slumbering. Unlike myself, who was accustomed to changing positions every few minutes or so. Finally realizing the abuse from an uncomfortable night's "sleep," my muscles began to riot in pain upon my ascend from the bed. Ow.
Arching my back as gingerly as I possibly could, I decided to make a game out of this by trying to climb out of bed in such a way as to not put a single ounce of pressure on the mattress. My plan- to sneak out of bed without Riku noticing, take a shower, and grab breakfast.
No matter how many times I promised myself I would make an effort to talk to this boy throughout the night, I felt my senses becoming more and more terrified at the reality of having to face him- planning to avoid conversing with him for as long as it was possible. To put it lightly, he "intimidated the hell out of me."
Why? Well because.
Riku appeared to be everything I wasn't.
How naive.
"Owwwww...," the returning pain to my back snapped me out of my wandering thoughts and back into the reality which I was living. Somehow, throughout thinking over the situation I was stuck in, I had managed to successfully get out of the comfy bed, standing completely perpendicular to the floor. That happened to me a lot- allowing my brain to drift, only to reawaken from it's meandering later to find myself doing something entirely different. I guess in this case that quality had worked towards my advantage- for I had won my little "game."
What I noticed next, however, took away the thrill of the win.
Riku was gone, his bed neatly made. It appeared as if there weren't even a roommate residing with me at all. Almost creepy, how one come come and disappear like that.
Well that was lucky.
I showered a hurried five minutes, allowing the searing hot water to pass over my body and hair in a somewhat cleansing matter. I liked to pretend I was always extra dirty, the water easily weeding out any impurities from my mind. In fact, when I was little, to increase the thrill, I would make sure to come home extra dirty from the beach. I always felt amazed when the water would gravitate towards clumps of filth on my skin, immediately attacking and engulfing their presence in total valor. Anything, even sile, could obtain redemption.
"Even these wicked feelings, Father. They can be redeemed, can they not?"
Luck found me a second time as I spotted Tidus in the dining hall- well in this case, "breakfast" hall. When I spotted that spiky mess of blonde hair, he appeared to be merrily munching away at a mountain full of breakfast items- waffles, pancakes, sausage, eggs, strawberries...
Seeing this, famine struck my starving insides with pain. That's right.. I has skipped dinner. Probably not the most healthy decision at the time, but my body was going to have to suffer until I could conjure up the courage to speak with Riku. Tidus must have noticed my pained state, for he immediately snatched a plate of toast from someone sitting next to him and shoved towards me.
"Sit down," he replied through a mouthful of eggs, patting the seat next to him. "Make room, guys! This is Sora. He's new! So be nice because he's really cool and he's my friend!"
I had a friend.
I received a few cheerful hellos, my mouth returning them with lit glee. Perhaps I would become friends with these people too? However, I didn't have time at that point to socialize, for I had to bring up the subject of... Riku. Tidus could help me- maybe give me some advice on how to approach the guy?
"Tidus, we have to talk."
"We already are talking, Sora!" Seeing a sliver of worry twisted within my smile, Tidus added, "Ohh, what's already happened? You must be lucky, because nothing's happened for me since this year started."
"Ah, well it's nothing really." I had been planning on explaining the entire "situation" with Riku, yet, I couldn't bring myself to do this as I watched him continue to guzzle almost an entire quart of orange juice. In an instant, my confidence had completely drained to empty. That frightened me somewhat.
"Okay! Hey, what's your first period?" His remark made me thankful Tidus wasn't the "questioning" type.
Pulling out the abused sheet of yellow paper, I scanned it for information as to what, where, and when my first class would occur. A void of dread filled me as I answered his question.
"Religion."
------------------------
Religion was interesting, for we didn't learn this particular subject in a musty classroom, sitting in desks, furiously scribbling notes from our assigned textbooks. Instead, students took this class in the actual St. Helena's church- connected to the dormitories around back. Pews replaced desks, a single Bible per student being the substitute for a tattered textbook. Actually, it was rather intriguing, this being my first time even within a church. The atmosphere only added to my intrigue- being inside this ornate structure.
Hell, the outside had been amazing enough. However, only when inside, did the stained glass come alive. Only then did the images in glimmering red and purples seem to move. The gray stone flooring appeared tainted with blood down the center aisle, where a deep crimson carpet lay in a long, ethereal sheet. Statues with paint flaking off the sides were perched high in the many nooks and crannies of the upper floor, dead eyes gazing through ceramic pupils at each student. This kind of church... it never struck me as welcoming or even holy. In fact, it kind of terrorized me.
One statue in particular. It was of Mary. I always liked Mary, she was interesting to learn about. Her entire body was fully painted in luminescent hues of blue. Yet, her eyes were black. I knew this was only a deformity of nature.. but they haunted me. Those eyes.
However, I liked this class. For even more comforting than the looser structure of Religion, was the kind nature of our teacher- nun, Sister Agatha. Unlike my previous experiences with Madame Beasley, Sister Agatha made sure I felt comfortable my first day- explaining concepts repeatedly to the entire class in order to breach my understanding of Catholicism.
Thinking the deal couldn't get any sweeter, it did. Tidus also had this class with me. However, our first and last classes were the only two we shared. This turned out to be a beginner's religion class- given to students who, like myself, were new prior to their freshman year. This led me to assume it was also Tidus' first year, and he was probably just as clueless as I was about religion in general.
Sitting next to the blonde in the first row, he managed to help me work through a few Bible versus. Today, we were studying "Isaiah 14:12-17." Being only an acquaintance to the Bible, I wasn't even sure how to express the different chapters.. psalms... parts of the intricate book. Tidus had tried to explain to me several times, but it never really clicked into my brain. The way in which to tell "what" verse it was meant little to me, rather it was what the verse contained that peaked my interest.
Self love.
The concept seemed simple, yet, it was one I struggled with throughout my entire life. The life I held never appeared to be special or personal, not even belonging to me until this day. Perhaps, because I had never been loved by another person, I had never grown to love myself. I couldn't appreciate who I was- because not ever had another being done the same for me.
Tidus, however, was a bit less interested in the subject than I was.
"Self love. What a bunch of crap! This is religion, not Mr. Roger's class! What's next- how to bake pies for your neighbors? Where's Jesus? That's what I've been wondering about ever since I got here!"
"Shh!"
"I'm just saying.."
"No, not that! I think something important is about to happen!"
"Oh, this? This is communion practice," Tidus now spoke in normal tone, noticing the absence of Sister Agatha. She now was located on the alter, appearing to be fishing around for something of importance. "Communion is one of the sacraments, and we're all about to receive it."
"Sacraments?"
"Yeah, sacraments. There's seven of them- communion being one of them. The others are baptism, marriage reconciliation- stuff like that. We have to receive most of them, or something like that, since we're all new to this Catholic mumbo jumbo. I'm not sure what it does or anything, but all you do basically is walk to the front of the room, make the sign of the cross and eat this nasty wafer thing. After that, you go back to your pew and pray to God."
Ah, that's right baptism. The memories suddenly came back to me. Baptism was the first sacrament. Before arriving, I was required to receive it during a ceremony in which a priest blessed me with holy water. I believe it's purpose was to initiate me into the Catholic church.
"Sign of the cross?"
"You really ARE clueless, Sora! Here, I'll show you." Tidus shifted his position on the pew, facing me from the front at this point. "This is the sign of the cross, and we do it all the time so you'd better learn quickly."
"Um. Okay..."
"Don't worry! It's easy as cake!" Tidus grinned, glistening teeth peeking through his pink lips. Why did everything he say relate metaphorically or literally to food? "First, you have to point your hand towards your heart like this," Tidus doing so as he spoke. "Then you move your hand towards your forehead... then your left shoulder, and you end up at your right shoulder- like a cross. See," Tidus finished making the invisible cross. "Easy."
"Like this?" I asked, mimicking his motions perfectly.
"Yeah, perfect! Well, you have to say stuff while you're doing all that. You say, In The Name Of The Father, The Son, And The Holy Spirit each time you stop at a particular place."
"Ah, I think I've got it. Tidus?"
"Yeah, Sora?"
"Thanks."
"No problem."
In the midst of practicing the sign of the cross (which I was sure I looked really stupid for doing,) Sister Agatha began tapping lightly on the pew in front of her- obviously summoning our attention. I noticed she didn't have those bright red fingernails.
Nail polish. Perhaps it was nun contraband.
Chatter immediately dissipated within thin air, not a single head turned opposite her direction. "Now, we're going to practice communion." Audible groans filled the church, earning grating looks from Sister Agatha. "Today, though. Things will happen a bit differently. You're going to see the altar boys in action!"
Altar boys in action! Sounds like a lame super hero movie.
Tidus and I snickered at that remark. Altar boys? Yes, it did sound rather lame then, but I later learned that becoming an altar boy was both difficult and prestigious despite the stupid name. As soon as one passed down the aisle, I took into attention the absolute beauty of the "altar boy."
Tidus and I simultaneously gasped. Surely, something as awing as that had to receive a better name than "altar boy!"
A dark-haired teenager strode down the aisle, clad in a thin white robe which floated like butterflies amongst the blood red carpet. Black fabric splashed through the white robe at the bottom and arms, sin meeting purity. Adorned on his head lay a white-lace, silken veil that barely reached the forehead. The most fascinating item of all, lay in his arms. There he held a large, silver cross.
There were several of these altar boys, however, we were not allowed to watch them descend down the aisles as Sister Agatha spoke.
"Naturally, they have already received their communion long ago," with almost a slight annoyance to her voice, she added, "as it is proper." Continuing, she stated, "They are doing us all a very kind favor by helping us out today and will be the ones at your actual communion ceremony as well."
The entire room turned continued to sit in obedience, not a single back slumped in silence. I caught Sister Agatha teetering her way towards the pew I was sitting in. When she reached us, her legs bent in a kneeling position beside the pew and motioned for me to catch her attention. "Sora! Be sure to pay special attention to what the other boys are doing in order to get this right. You do not have much time to learn! After class, I'll be taking you to Father Lionheart after class today for your Reconciliation sacrament. I would have explained it to you.. but it appears Tidus is quite a teacher himself."
I smiled, in both embarrassment for Tidus and nervousness for myself. I always seemed to smile when I was nervous of anxious- it was a way to cover up fear, to appear strong. But reconciliation? Oh, another sacrament.
Communion seemed easy enough. Dismissed by rows, a group of boys would ascend towards the inner sanctuary, take from an altar boy a small, circular wafer such as Tidus had described, eaten it, and performed the sign of the cross before returning to their seats. However, it appeared that before sitting once again, they would kneel at the pew, and execute the sign of the cross one last time. It only looked confusing because one row on each side of the church was dismissed at a time, yet there were exactly three altar boys, perched on the last step of the altar.
"Oh Jesus! Jesus!" Tidus appeared to be freaking out, although that wasn't too out of character for his quirky personality.
"Don't say that, Tidus! We're in a church!"
"No- really. Well, it's not Jesus but just look!" Tidus was pointing in the direction of a certain silver-haired altar (?) boy.
Damn it.
The veil perched on top of his head blended with those silvery locks, almost giving him a surrealistic vibe. He seemed so peaceful, beautiful. He was dead center of the altar boys, graceful hands extended, a small bowl clasped between interlocked fingers. The purple stained glass mixed with flickering flames from lit candles at opposite ends of the church, reflecting amongst that pale skin. Riku looked so.. peaceful.
"About him-"
"Yeah? Can't it wait, we're about to go?"
Before I could utter my response, the boy behind me was starting to poke me along gently, coaxing me to stand up and begin walking towards the altar. I gave a meek, "oh, sorry!" before turning my attention back towards Tidus, who was now in line for receiving this "fake communion." Catching up to him, I desperately grabbed a hold of Tidus and whispered towards his ear,
"HE'S my roommate!"
Tidus turned to give me a shocked expression, those familiar blue eyes filled with sudden horror. Swirls of white seemed to fade away, ghosts forming on his cheeks. The blonde never did answer me when I told him this, for it was now his turn to receive the.. wafer thing.
I had to be once again prodded from the annoying kid behind me.
"You're suppose to go to the next empty guy, not wait in line!"
"Uh... thanks. Sorry," I apologized again. Christ, I hadn't magically known that! I had assumed I would just wait my turn in the same line Tidus had been in. Some kids here were nice, like Tidus, and some could just be.. uppity.
I was horrified to see that Riku was the next available altar boy. So much for luck.
Trudging slowly towards him, I held my hands out to receive the wafer. I was terrified of this boy, especially now. His glance shifted, a tiny- smile? forming at the corner of his mouth as he gently placed one of the circular disks into my outstretched palm, while saying something about the Holy Body of Christ. Not sure what that meant, I ate it, only to realize these "wafers" were actually really awful, and tasted of cardboard. As if things couldn't get worse, I immediately forgot how to perform the sign of the cross after finishing that awful stuff.
After trying several times, completely KNOWING my face was tinged red from embarrassment, Riku grabbed my flailing arms, the bowl of gross pieces of "cardboard" now at his feet.
"Here. It's like this." He guided my shaking hands gently in the exact motions Tidus had moments earlier. Interestingly, he paused, our hands intertwined at my heart. "It's okay. A lot of people get confused at first." After we parted, I could only stare at him in utter shock, however, grateful for his help. Although, I knew I was being watched by the entire Religion class... I didn't much care.
I mouthed a quick, "thank you," to Riku before rushing off, repeating the ritual again at the pew, and kneeled in prayer position next to Tidus.
He shot me a quick glance as if to say, "you idiot."
Embarrassingly enough, I couldn't agree more. Focusing my thoughts on the Bible in front of me, I began to pray silently. Not of troubles, not for my parents, not even to make Tidus realize I wasn't an idiot. But..
"Please, God- if you're listening. I want to be friends with Riku."
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The remainder of the day dissipated into the past in such an ordinary fashion that I cannot recall exactly the events that occurred between Religion to the end of French. I had met a few more boys my age throughout the day, but none which I had bonded with as quickly as Tidus.
Not wanting to stay too long for dinner, I ran into the dining quarters and ran back out in a whirlwind of spiky brown tresses and wrinkled clothes. I took the time only to grab a single apple, for I wasn't terribly hungry. The main purpose of visiting the oversized mess hall was to provide for myself the opportunity to learn a new route in getting back to my room.
I almost amazed myself at how easily I found it- in record time almost. Keys jangled against the lock as I carefully pushed the heavy blockade away from me.
"I got back early just to make sure you wouldn't fall asleep on me again."
Shit.
Riku was sitting on his bed, legs dangling off the side and a book laying next to his left thigh. He didn't appear angry, rather, a dangerous smirk graced his lips. I recall that smirk had scared the absolute hell out of me.
"...Sorry I did that. And, I'm sorry about.. embarrassing you today."
Riku, however, chose to ignore that apology. Wiping the smirk from his face, he slid from the bed and started to make his way towards me. "You've probably heard about me, so I won't bother to introduce myself. And, I've done my research as well, Sora. Interesting. Your name that is."
Riku was now standing extremely close to me, the proximity of distance between our eyes no longer measurable by mere inches. Standing like this, his intimidation factor soared, maximizing itself doubly. The way his height towered mine, his shoulders more broad and masculine- I felt myself mentally shrink to the size of a kitten. From the looks of it, I couldn't tell whether he wanted to poke my eyes out like the kid from religion class, or tackle me?
I didn't bother to ask why my name interested him. I figured I might as well shut up and allow him to just explain. My instincts proved correct when Riku spun around, instantly allowing space to envelope at my face again.
"Do you know what it means?"
"No..."
"It means sky. My name means land. I came across it last night while studying for an English exam. I just thought that was interesting, that's all."
And that was how I learned the meaning of Sora, my name.
"Anyway," Riku turned once more to face me from across the room. "You'd better not plan on falling asleep so early tonight. We've got plans." That damn smirk returned!
"What-"
"We're going to go out tonight."
"Okay," I replied, feeling a bit uncomfortable about this suggestion. How blatant! We're going out tonight.. who did he think he was? I spoke, what? A few sentences to him, and he was already ordering me around? Eeeh, I didn't like the way he said that phrase either. The tone lingered with deviousness. I'm also sure my voice must have given away my feelings, for Riku quickly pounced back.
"Don't worry," Riku stated while throwing a tied bag towards my head. "I'll make sure you don't get in trouble."
It hit me before I could catch it, making me stumble clumsily on the floor to pick it back up. Riku sure did have an ever astounding effectiveness for making me do stupid looking things. "For wha-"
"Hurry up, we can't be late."
Bag in hand, I followed this silver haired boy out of our dorm room, pausing only when he did to lock our door. He guided me along the right and left turns of old hallways until we reached a black door, almost hidden beneath a pile of wooden chairs and desks on the seventh floor.
Before he could even so much as knock on the mysterious door, it swung open, almost hitting myself and Riku.
"You're late," a red haired boy hissed. He was.. interesting looking. Interestingly intimidating, like Riku. His appearance even almost reminded me of... Christmas? The red hair did bring out his emerald green eyes..
Not to mention the strange inked diamonds underneath those eyes... Did this church cater to weird people?
Riku didn't answer his statement. It must be a habit. Instead he walked haughtily into the darkened room, glancing behind to make sure I was following. Two pairs of feet hit dirty floors, as my spiky locks found colliding paths towards spider's eyes.
"Eek!" I squealed, stepping away from the crawling thing. Spiders really did scare me, even as a seventeen year old. The spider crawled away from my shoes, and into a dark crevice hidden within the wall. I rushed towards Riku and stood next to his towering body, determined to listen to the words he and this red haired guy exchanged.
"Give me the money first," the green-eyed boy spoke again. I wasn't all too shocked to see two other boys sitting on the opposite side, one per side of the flaming red head.
"No, hand over our stuff first." Our stuff? What part did I play in this.. meeting.. other than to accompany Riku?
Almost, defeated looking, Riku unclenched the bag from my grasp and tossed it towards the three. For some reason, perhaps on instinct, I found myself wanting to hold onto that bag- if it would.. help or protect Riku from this guy.
"Sora, these are some of my friends," sheer acid dripped from his words. If I had been more delusional at the time, I would have sworn I'd seen green liquify at the corner of his mouth, penetrating the floor and burning holes through the filthy wood. "Axel," he stated, pointing the emerald-eyed one, "Roxas," the finger moving towards a blonde, who looked a lot like myself and Tidus. Finally, he introduced me to Wakka, another red head, yet he didn't have those green eyes, nor did he sport the flashy under-eye tattoos.
Axel peaked into the bag, smiled cryptically, and allowed his attention to move towards his pocket. He fumbled for a moment, long fingers clumsily searching within it's depths for something.
Allowing his fingers to breathe once more, he returned within them a bag of his own- throwing it at Riku in a similar fashion to the way my roommate had previously done. Unlike me, Riku caught it, pale fingers ensnaring like tree roots, and pocketed it.
Both parties nodded in response. It seemed, though, Axel's acknowledgment was a venomous one. It hadn't taken long, but I felt as if I had made three new enemies- one in particular deemed very poisonous.
"You may leave now," Axel chanted, smirks crawling onto the faces of all three boys.
Riku turned, pulling me with him. As soon as we poured from the door, it slammed behind us in contempt. Bathed in a shock of pearly moonlight, we ventured down the hall from whence we came.
That was hands down the number one most embarrassing, and weird thing that happened to me thus far. Who WAS Riku? Was he just like Tidus had described- the arrogant, rich kid, or was he someone else? Someone who lurked and hid in secrecy and portrayed himself as the arrogant, rich kid? Either way, I had a bad feeling I would eventually find out the answer to my question.
Howls of laughter echoed from the shut door. I chose to ignore it, not wanting to bring up the subject with Riku. Avoiding what was yet to come probably wouldn't be healthy in the long run, yet I cared about now more. I didn't want to make him angry with me just yet...
We walked for a few minutes in utter silence down a black hallway, until I decided to break this thorn ridden form of omerta. Building up a tiny amount of courage within myself, I broached the subject which had bothered me ever since I saw Riku and his suspicious way of acting only minutes ago. "Riku, what just happened?"
"You finally said my name," his gazed fixed with mine as he chuckled.
"You didn't answer my question." I stopped walking, my feet planted somewhere between two wooden floorboards and a creepy portrait of an older nun which lay broken and cobbwebbed upon the floor. When this sudden spring of confidence had developed inside of me, I wasn't sure. Perhaps I was realizing quickly that Riku was not such an intimidating person, he had flaws and secrets like all normal people. It was possible for me to be on par with him, because I knew he was going to eventually open up and spill his guts out- tell me about these secretes.
"I gave them nothing- you saw nothing." Riku had stopped several feet from my position, adjacent to an ajar balcony. I was struck down in a blaze of stupidity.
The lonely moonlight shone in on him from afar, casting wickedly serene shadows amongst his body. Eerie- it was almost like before during religion. The statement he had made angered me a little, yet the way he appeared now seemed so...
haunting... just like those eyes...
So haunting that I couldn't resist the invisible pull tugging at my feet and forcing me towards him.
"Why take me then? What was your motive of bringing me along to some secretive meeting between you and your friends if you didn't want me to know what you were doing?" As Riku shifted slightly at my words, so did the shadows cast on his pale skin, dancing gracefully about, loving the corners of his eyes and mouth.
"Really, it was nothing," Riku stated this as he moved completely from the glimmering moonlight. "I didn't ask you to come along for nothing. You're going to find out eventually, but for now- I'm just playing with you." Damn him. "I wanted to talk to you."
Indignant now, I responded with "You're so cryptic! We haven't even talked before in our lives and now you're lugging me around and not telling me any reason as to why!" The gentle, soft spoken Sora had disappeared completely, I was no longer under his rapturing, intimidating spell.
"I told you why, Sora. I wanted to talk to you."
Riku walked further down the hall, leaving me with no choice but to follow him. I didn't have my copy of our keys in my possession, rendering it useless to trudge back there. Catching up with his pace, we walked side by side in utter silence for a few moments before hitting a dead end.
"This place is full of dead ends. They were used in medieval times to trick enemies. Before this was part of a cathedral, it used to house soldiers."
Riku proved to be extremely intelligent. The way he talked, walked, presented himself- even when he had previously told me about the irony of our names, allowed his elegant nature to shine through.
"Is it haunted?" I asked, tilting my spiky head to the side while remembering the silly statement Tidus had made yesterday.
"Ah, I'd come to visit you, but I don't like the seventh floor. It's creepy."
"How so?"
"Ah, nothing. You'll eventually figure it out on your own anyway."
"That's what some people say." My statement earned a smile from the all-mighty Riku. He wasn't so bad. Likable, actually. I couldn't wait to tell Tidus how nice Riku actually was!
Immediately feeling stupid for asking such a question, I replied, "Is that what you say?" Of course Riku wouldn't believe in ghost stories. People like him never did.
"Maybe."
Okay.. so maybe I had misjudged him. Twice. In all honestly, I was the bad guy FOR judging him.
"Maybe?"
"Yeah," he turned to me, that memorable smirk plastered onto his pink lips once again. "Weird stuff goes on around here sometimes." Seeing my newly horrified expression, he added, "Don't worry about it though. The boogeyman knows better than to screw around with me. If he comes near our room, I'll kick his ass. He messes tracks dirt on the floor."
A smile escaped from my lips. Like the effervescence of pressure between air, Riku's personality began to grow on me, infecting me each time he spoke. It was mesmerizing the way he twisted words and sounded so casual at the same time. Depending on the tone and syllables stressed, each thing he said could be taken very arrogantly. Yet, when Riku spoke, it sounded more so comforting- friendly.
"Good, because I don't like the boogeyman."
"That makes two of us."
We walked back together, only casual conversation occurring along the way. Key gently resting within it's lock, Riku paused before pushing the door to room 705 open.
"Sora?"
"Yes?"
"Thanks for coming along with me tonight. You may not understand why, but you will eventually like I said. I like you, and I want you to be my friend."
Funny how people can be so different from what you perceive them to be...
"I like you too."
"You'd better," Riku haughtily stated, turning the door handle and allowing the partition to swing open.
"Hey!"
"No, really. If I didn't like you, you'd be having a miserable time."
"So I've heard."
"Who told you that?" A slightly annoyed tone entered his voice.
"Nobody."
I casually flipped myself onto my unmade bed, allowing my legs to swing over the sides much like the manner in which Riku's had earlier that night. Riku was looking at me with a contempt smile, arms loosely folded at his chest.
"You have homework?"
"None."
"Well I do, so try not to snore too loudly." The infamous smirk returned.
If what Tidus had passed on to me before, Riku would have been able to skip his nightly assignments. He could have just made up some lame excuse- completely blown this work aside and gone to sleep. Perhaps what Tidus had said hadn't been the truth, or at least not the entire truth.
"Ummm, Riku? Could I ask you a favor?"
"Depends."
"I have to get undressed..."
"We're both guys."
"Right."
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A few weeks passed like this, Riku and I talking momentarily at night to one another. With the passing days, I grew to appreciate his company more and more and even began to consider him a friend. Granted, he never set eyes on me during classes- but then again, neither did I with him. Occasionally, he would fill me in on really juicy blackmail he had collected over the years about different teachers, priests, and nuns.
"And our French teacher, Madame Beasley?"
"Yeah?"
"My friend Cloud and I once caught her in the Algebra room giving Mr. Snope a blow job."
"REALLY?"
"Yeah- and you won't believe the story about the gym teachers-"
I felt bad, because nothing I could tell him ever amounted to anything as interesting as what he told me. He's ask me about home life, and I'd dance around the subject of my parents. He seemed rather close with his, so I didn't want to tell him that I in all honesty hated my own.
Everyone at this point knew we were roommates. That was hot gossip. New, stupid kid getting stuck in a room with the snotty, high-class, practically owner of the entire school kid.
Most people I met passed me in the hallways with one of either two looks:
First was the "sympathetic," glance. It would appear as if the person were silently apologizing for my predicament- for just sharing, breathing, and sleeping in the same room as Riku.
The next, was a bit more hostile. This look would relay, "Who do you think you are? Staying with Riku? He's way too good for you!"
Either way, the feelings represented by this were completely polar and usually very extreme. Middle ground was non existent. So it seemed, you either hated the guy, or loved him.
Personally, I didn't see the big deal. The gossip, the looks- they surely couldn't be the prize for sharing a room with.. another person? No matter WHO they were!
But how wrong I seemed to be. Living entirely within a boarding school for so long, I realized that this gossip was all many boys had to cling onto, somewhat like a life support. I suppose I could tap into these emotions easily because I myself felt rather bored and alone for most of my entire life. Words spread like fire, lapping at the hungry ears of black clothed boys throughout the halls. It was.. almost frighteningly interesting.
Riku and I hadn't visited his friends during these few weeks. Once, he left the room himself, but told me not to follow. I obeyed his wishes, Tidus' words from the very first day of school still a reminder in my somewhat confused brain. Plus, I didn't want another encounter with Axel, Roxas, or Wakka.
However, my yearning to please Riku gave me a security blanket, yet scared me at the same time. Was I this easily manipulated? Could Riku really tell me to do anything, and successfully get me to actually do it?
Yes.
One night, though, a date that my memory fails to recall, something changed our relationship quite a bit. Odd enough, I am surprised I cannot remember when this occurred exactly- I usually make it a habit to mentally take note of important dates. This night, however, Riku brought up the testy subject we encountered the night we had snuck out.
"Sora, I'm going to let you in on a secret. But- only if you promise me you won't tell anyone. And, if you also promise to go along with it."
Eyes of deep sapphire lay frozen like embedded ice caps. This kind of conversation had been the type I had feared, yet always knew would inevitably occur. "I promise." My consent was voiced, sealing my fate at that moment. I was sure I'd be finding out a bit more about the REAL Riku- the soul hidden beneath the tough exterior.
Instead of answering me, Riku's hands slipped underneath his mattress, returning with a small bag- much like the one he had given to me before. Feeling a moment of de ja vu coming on, Riku threw the bag across the room. It landed next to my outstretched fingers, motionless. Something about this bag allowed for my insides to twist like spiders, ticking my ribcage and pushing sudden nausea towards my throat.
"Open it."
I obeyed.
"Riku!" I yelled, gasping his name. I had an idea of what this was. Within the innocent-looking bag lay a bundle, a large bundle, of some sort of drug.
"I couldn't keep it from you any longer- you would have eventually found out."
"Riku!"
"It's really not that big of a deal, I give it to those guys you met before, and they pay me in return. We both don't want anyone to find out, so we keep it a secret. No worries."
"Riku!"
"Stop saying my name! Honestly, it's not even that big of a deal."
"Is this what you've been doing when you visit those guys? Axel was his name? You're giving him drugs?" My words slammed into each other like speeding cars from my voice box being under the influence of my heavy adrenaline. Not only was Riku scary, and nice at the same time- he was a damn drug dealer!
"That's not just any drug, Sora. It's cocaine. And I haven't been giving them anything. I've been selling it to them." Riku's tone frightened me. He was so serious all of a sudden. Well, true, he was always serious. This was a different serious.
"Are you-"
Finishing my sentence, he replied, "doing it? Hell NO! If I were snorting it myself, I wouldn't be making such a nice profit off of it!" Riku was now smiling, a smile knotted in the corners of his face with maniac pride. "Here, give it back to me. I wasn't asking for YOU to use it either."
"Riku..." I reluctantly handed him back the bag of cocaine. Somehow, in a whirlwind of confusion, I had lost all sense of how to converse with this guy- my thoughts only reflecting upon his name.
"Sora..."
I sat there, staring at him in blank resentment. He had put on a facade the entire time- pretending he was a nice guy, misunderstood, and actually cared for me enough to establish our relationship.
"I had to tell you." His face twisted- in sorrow?
"... I know." My hands twisted into my hair out of sheer exhaustion. It overwhelmed me, emotionally and physically, to the point of not being able to properly function.
"I'm sorry. I..," pausing, Riku let out a whimpering moan of defeat. "I really am. But I had to tell you. And that look you're giving me-"
"What!"
"You look angry, or upset. Either way, I don't want you to be angry or upset with me."
I didn't answer him. I suppose he expected to hear, "Oh, it's okay, Riku. I'm not mad." Those words never escaped from my lips.
"Well.. I had to tell you."
"You said that."
"No, I had to tell you because we have to deliver it tonight."
"We?"
"Yes, we."
Reluctantly, I found myself following him outside our room. What seemed like an eternity of my feet shuffling against upswept wooden floor, we arrived again at that same door. Riku didn't even bother to knock this time.
Axel appeared to have ESP, for he was able both times to sense the moment in which we arrived, always opening the termite ridden door for our presence.
Compared to the rest of the building, the seventh floor deemed itself quite decrepit.
However, this time, instead of walking into the room, Axel kept us at the door frame. Riku shoved his way in front of me, cold aqua eyes junctioned with jade.
"We're going to be doing things... differently tonight." Axel was maddening, the way he handled himself. Exquisitely, but eerie- the way his arms moved with his words. If arms had meaning, they would match perfectly with his speech.
"And what do you mean by different?"
"I mean, why don't we let him in on the fun, Riku." A bony finger now pointed at me.
Shit.
"You never even told me his name!" He wasn't showing it physically, but I could tell. On the inside, Axel was laughing, derision intoxicating his whole being, filling his organs with suds of riot. "We're going to play a little game."
The blonde one spoke for the first time. "Yeah, he's coming with me," Roxas stated, grabbing and pulling me aside. I didn't even attempt to struggle against his strength, which held a surprisingly large impact amongst my small frame. "What's your name? Since Riku won't tell us."
I hiccuped words for a moment, turning to face Riku. Bastard! He wasn't even attempting to rescue me this time! When it seemed to matter most- forget about assisting me when the sign of the cross! This situation appeared far more serious.
"Sora..."
"Well, Sora," Axel's voice echoing the silent hall. "Take this bag," he casually told me, handing over another infamous small pouch, "and go into the confessional. You can sit there all night long in fact. As you may or may not know, it's forbidden to step place in there without a religious official- much less sleep in there. With that. I don't care how you manage, just go and stay put. Hell, you can fall asleep for all I care. Just try to be a good little kitten and not get discovered by any of the priests come morning."
"You can't be serious! He'll be expelled! Axel, that's not fair- Sora hasn't done anything to you!" Riku reached forward, only to be stopped abruptly by Wakka's strong arm. The silver haired of the two was obviously stronger, yet he allowed Wakka to block his attack.
Roxas, however, chose to shove me a little. "We're serious. Hey, Sora. Do you know where Riku gets this from?"
"No?" I squeaked, looking at Riku for help. He wasn't looking back.
"He steals it- from the office. They've been investigating who's been taking the stuff for years. Imagine what'll happen when they find YOU with it." Roxas returned.
Riku finally chose to speak up, allowing myself to grasp to a ledge of small but existent hope. "What is the point in all this? Why aren't you doing it to me? I'm the one you hate! Picking on kids.. you guys are lame."
My hope vanished. Taking into context those words, it didn't appear that Riku was going to help me out.
"You're right on all accounts, Riku. You always were sharp," the green-eyed boy hissed. "As for a worse punishment, we saved that part for you. After all, Sora really hasn't done anything to us." Axel paused, enjoying this round of fright and mocking Riku's previous statements. "You get to stay with us in the repository. You'll get to hear them scream when they discover dear Sora in the morning."
"You're sick-"
"I'm brilliant."
Roxas began prodding me in the back to walk forwards. Perhaps he was the same annoying kid who had been doing it earlier and was now back for blood- for interrupting his smooth communion practice.
Reluctantly, I followed. I knew I was heading towards social homicide. If discovered like said, surely I would be expelled- shunned, deemed a modern day Antichrist.
Time stretched on as we reached the church, a requiem of my own expulsion creating itself in my mind, playing over and over with maniac persistence. What time was it anyway? It couldn't be too late...
All five of us marched down the red carpeted aisle, well.. kind of. I was rather dragged by Roxas. Nearing the end, Axel hurried ahead of our small quintet, rushing towards one of the tall, wooden confessional boxes and opening it's creaking door. Finally letting myself struggle against Roxas' tight hold, I kicked and flailed arms in infinite directions, small screams and gasps echoing from my voicebox.
My tactics weren't successful. I could only glance back, defeated towards Riku.
"Sorry. If I had known...," that graceful, silver head turned from facing me, his arms limp in conquer.
I couldn't bring myself to respond as my arms, too, allowed themselves to be manipulated by Roxas'. He pressed against me roughly, before grabbing round shoulders and throwing me inside the box forcefully.
"Don't try any funny stuff, kid. It's locked," Axel flashed a golden key in front of my crystalized eyes. Emotion wept throughout my blood- fear, anger, sorrow lurching themselves down my folded appendages and through the tips of my nerves, sending overwhelming signals to a confused brain.
I only heard Riku shout, "You should never have told them your name!" as I sat, feeling roughly violated on the floor.
That hair- the essence of flames, was the last thing I saw before he slammed the door. A loud "crack!" following the violent action, as the foundation of the confessional swayed slightly.
Now completely shrouded in black, I tried to let me eyes adjust to any form around me. I was afraid- afraid of the dark and anything remotely dangerous. The absence of light allowed for the formation of a moist tears to well in my eyes. Cheeks that were once cold grew dampen as these tears flew freely down my face.
This was the worst possible way to come to my realizations. Riku was not as strong as he appeared- that was mere facade. I saw him, the true Riku, for the first time that night. Images of everyone- Tidus, Aerieth... I had finally made friends. I had accomplished a feat so simple, yet so incredibly difficult for me outside of Saint Helena's. Now, misfortunate bared it's grimy face towards me, mocking me. It only allowed me a small taste of normalcy, and now it was being snatched away.
My lips quivered rapidly, mouth parted and echoing small sobs. Curling my legs on dirty flooring, underneath my shuddering frame, I bent my head backwards and screamed for him in a desperate plea.
How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations! For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north: I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High. Yet thou shalt be brought down to hell, to the sides of the pit. They that see thee shall narrowly look upon thee, and consider thee, saying, Is this the man that made the earth to tremble, that did shake kingdoms; That made the world as a wilderness, and destroyed the cities thereof; that opened not the house of his prisoners? (Isaiah 14:12-17 AV)
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Author's Note: Bleh, I had been writing the part that happens after Sora screams originally.. in this chapter. But then, things would have gotten out of hand, and I wouldn't have had a place to end. Besides, I like cliffs. All the teachers are disclaimed by me- for I own them here, but not in real life. These are the actual names and personalities of MY teachers. Hah. I guess if I get yelled at for portraying them badly, I'll know they like yaoi oO
Forgive me if any of the Catholic info is wrong. It's been a looooong time since I first got the communion sacrament (I was about 7!) so I tried to remember how we practiced as best I could. Same goes for the altar boy appearence.. that's not REALLY how they look, but hey. I'm trying to set a romantic mood. And the Eucharists really do taste like cardboard. Review please?