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When I woke up, I realized that I was in my bed. There was a sort of whispering, coming from the right and I was vexed by it, as I had a veil covering my mind. The fact is that I wasn't able to distinguish the voices, as if I was surrounded by strangers. I knew that I was numb: I felt that strange sensation in my body and when I saw the figures of Reito and Yukariko, Kiyohime's doctors, I understood that my intuition was true and that I was under sedatives.
Slowly, I rose up on my elbows, listening their words. They said that Haruka and Tate had found me while I was at Kuga's mercy, that she was bent upon me, prepared to use my body as a shield to abandon the ship. They said me that in that moment Kiyohime released a flow of steam against the members of my Assault Squad, allowing Kuga's and Yukino's escape. They said me, with kind and gentle voices, what I had already realized with my broken soul: the Kiyohime didn't accept any vocal command, even though there wasn't any physical problem in its components. Besides, the intelligence group led by Akane, Chie's partner, had found an access trace in Kiyohime's artificial intelligence, a sort of signature: a name. That name. It was radicated inside of me, deep in my soul, a brand that even now I can't dissolve. Diana.
Sighing, I laid down again, listening their voices clashing with the dam of my indifference, that dam I was building to defend my shivered soul. There were so many things I had to ponder that I was terrorized. And inexorably alone. I knew that I was on the bring of despair and that a new life was awaiting only my choices, but that was the first time I had to analyze new, unexpected prospects. That freedom – the freedom I had desired so much – was now killing me, and I felt again the icy touch of my fears. Unable to make a choice, I closed my eyes and only the last part of my consciousness realized the leaving of the doctors.
That night, I didn't dream, but when I woke up I had only a thought in my mind: my mask of quiet indifference had died with the bond that tied me and the Kiyohime. I was no more the Captain Fujino, the Imperial Navy's Gem. Finally, I was only Shizuru and I had to gather the fragments of my life and go on. So, I got out of my bed, feeling a cold shiver when I walked barefoot through my room. Slowly, I started to dress myself, as if I was taking a priestly habit or, maybe, as if I was an old samurai ready for the battle field. In every movement, I felt a deep sacredness, because I knew that my gestures were metaphor of the deep metamorphosis of my soul. And when I left my room, I was prepared to withstand Mai.
She was there, in the corridor in front of me, staring at nothing, maybe preparing herself for that moment. I knew that I had to wait for her words, so I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, giving her my back, because I was afraid for her feelings. And when she started to speak, I simple nodded, even if I felt her words as a storm of rage and anger.
- Nao has left. She has stolen the only minor shuttle equipped with a Nuranian's motor. I believe... I believe she will be at the Capital in few days, maybe a week. And then, Captain you know, the Council will start the operations for Kiyohime's rescue, and so there will be no way to... to...
No. There would be no way to avoid our destiny.
Aware of Mai's pain, I hugged her for a brief moment: if there wasn't any choice, then we could afford that situation together. Suddenly, I remembered that old custom of my motherland, the hara-kiri and I bitterly smiled at that thought. But, Mai left my embrace and, drying her tears, she said:
- Captain, there are things that we can't manage, but we have only to live them. Only the Time will bring us his answers.
Mai. Had you really read inside of me so deeply? Had you really understood how the mirror was shattering, baring the whirls of my mind? Sometimes, I stop to watch the fights of Midori and Youko, between the barchans of this desert. I ardently hope that one day the little cat will be able to find the way to conquest the heart of her phoenix. And that also you will find your happiness.