Hey guys! Anyone remember me? Most likely not. I haven't posted on for a long time, but here's my comeback I guess.

So this is The Tales of Link and the Rubberband! Link is OOC (or is he?) and chaos ensues.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything from Zelda.

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Well, what a day that was! I made a drunken fool of myself in front of the Princess! I don't drink too often so, obviously, I need to build up a tolerence or something, then I can prevent these embarrassing events from transpiring...

...so I went back to the bar and had a few.

It was about 11:30 PM when I got out of the bar, and I can officially say I drank myself retarded. I figured I'd go ride my horse, maybe that'd helf wear off the effects. I left the village and went to Hyrule Field.

"Sure you should be going out like that?" asked the nosey-ass guard.

"Like what?" I asked dumbfoundedly.

"You can't even walk straight!" he stared at me walking away. "Oh, look at you! That's pathetic! You're walking crooked, you can't walk straight!"

Well, apparently he was correct in this assesement because no sooner did he say that, my face had met the ground. It hurt pretty bad, and I was angered.

"OH!" I started, getting up and getting prepared for battle. "So I walk like I'm gay? I don't walk straight so I'm gay now?"

"That's not what I said..."

I pulled out my rubber band and was ready to take him down.

"I'LL KICK YOUR ASS MOFO!" I screamed, charging in a drunken rage.

He ran off to God knows where after seeing me charge at him. People in this place are very stereotypical, I wear a green skirt and tights, so I'm gay. C'mon people! Oh well...

So I was now out of town and I caught up with Epona, who was sleeping. Yes. Sleeping. I whipped it with my rubberband, but Epona seemed to get angered by this and I was kicked down. I was dizzy before, but now I could barely see straight.

Now I know what you're all thinking; Why all of a sudden so mean to everyone? Why the swearing? What does this have to do with your rubberband? Well, the answers? I'm drunk. I'm drunk. And you shall see!

I got out of the field and into a newer village. Mostly Zoras and Gorons live there. I've never seen this place before, so I decided I'd check out the bar, to see if it was worthy.

I walked in and viewed my surroundings. Typical Hyrule bar environment. Broken chairs, broken bodies, gambling, knife throwing, and drinking contests for the children. Looked pretty legit.

I continued walking over to the far end where I saw three guys playing cards for large amounts of money. I needed some money, so I got daring.

"Mind if I join you guys?" I asked with suave only possessed by maybe the shampoo itself.

The table consisted of two Zoras and a Goron.

"You got money, boy?" the Goron asked.

"Look who you're asking!"

There was a pause and they looked over me for a moment, it was really awkward.

"Whatever," said the one Zora, "He's in."

"Alright."

TO BE CONTINUED...

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Yeah, I know, this chapter was lame. I haven't had any caffeine yet, so the next chapter will be better, hopefully. Don't flame me too badly, it's hot enough already!