Cause I'm broken when I'm open

And I don't feel like I'm strong enough

Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right when you're gone away

"I'm seeing someone Nick." Those were the only words that echoed around him for the past three hours since Greg left. When had this happened? Nick did not remember Greg having any relationship before the shooting. Fate defiantly was a bitch. And who exactly was Greg seeing? Could it be Sara? No that could not be right, Sara was still hung up on Grissom and she and Greg did have more of a brother sister relationship. It puzzled him so much that he was on his eighth beer and reeling from what he was sure was rejection. If only he had been sooner, maybe then Greg would still be here. If only he knew who this person was, this second chance was surely not going to be as easy as he thought.

Nick woke up with a killer hangover and groaned as he shielded his eyes from the morning light. The beer certainly helped him forget about Greg, but now he had a headache and clear memories of the night before. He did not know how he was going to face Greg at work when all he could think about was who Greg was seeing. Who would Greg tell? Who would Greg trust? One name came to mind, Sara Sidle.

Ten minutes later found himself at Sara's apartment hoping to God she was home.

"Nick, what are you doing here?"

"There is something I need to know."

"What?"

"Who is Greg seeing?"

"What? You came all the way over here to ask me who Greg was seeing? Are you crazy?"

"You know then?"

"If I did I would not tell you."

"Please Sara, please I have to know."

"Why? Why is it so important?"

"Because I am in love with him."

"What?" her voice was a mere whisper now.

"I just want to know." His eyes were pleading and Sara broke.

"His name is Ryan Wolfe, he's a rookie cop just started."

"And they're close."

"Yeah, they are."

"Oh." He turned to go, not wanting to know anymore.

"Nick?"

"What?"

"He loved you for a long time, but he could not do it anymore."

"I guess it is my fault for being too late."

Nick was thankful Greg was in the lab that night, Wendy bless her soul had called off. Although his night turned from bad to worse when he was greeted at the scene by Brass and Officer Ryan Wolfe. Great. Nick's first instinct was to just punch the guy out for getting what he always wanted. When had he even come into the picture? Nick certainly did not remember a Ryan Wolfe from before, fate was taunting him now.

"Stokes you here?"

"Oh yeah Brass, what do we got?"

"Lily Everston, just came home from visiting her parents in Seattle."

"What a way to be welcome home." Nick snorted.

"Yeah, oh and Nick this Ryan Wolfe just fresh from the academy." He then turned to Ryan. "Don't let Stokes intimidate you, he's harmless." Only Brass was wrong, this guy Nick wanted to pummel.

"Is the scene clear?"

"Yes, I double checked." He gave Nick and grin which only made him scowl as he walked into the house. David was already there and he gave a small wave.

"So cause of death?"

"Poison."

"No blood?"

"No where, we'll know what poisoned her as soon as I can get the stomach contents to DNA." Nick paled, Greg was in DNA and dammit Nick did not want to see him.

"Right, well you can take the body, I'll snoop around."

"Got ya." Dave nodded. Nick tried to block everything out of his mind than the case at hand; it was just him and Lily Everston now. Only he could hear Ryan talking just outside the door and it was not to Brass.

"No, yeah I'll be over after shift, in the lab? I'm sorry baby I know how much you hate it there, don't worry I'll make you forget." Nick gritted his teeth, was he even allowed making personal calls on shift? He just had to flaunt it didn't he, little bastard.

Nick managed to avoid the lab the entire night passing Lily Everston's stomach contents off to Warrick who gave him a weird look but took it to Greg. After hearing Ryan's conversation earlier he could not even look at Greg without wanting to ask him why Ryan.

"Dude what is with you?"

"Nothing Rick."

"Bullshit you were so eager earlier to for me to take those samples to Greg; usually you look for excuses to see him."

"Things changed."

"What?"

"Ryan Wolfe." He grumbled.

"What? The new rookie cop, what does he have to do with it?"

"Him and Greg." Nick moaned. "They are seeing each other."

"What? I don't believe it."

"Well Sara confirmed it for me and I heard Wolfe talking to him."

"Oh man, that sucks."

"I know, God I waited too damn long."

"Well they can't be that serious."

"They sure sounded like it and Sara mentioned they were close."

"Damn Nicky."

"You should not wait."

"What?"

"About Catherine, Rick take it from me if you wait you are gonna lose her."

"You're right, I'm sorry Nicky."

"Hey it's alright I did not expect him to wait forever."

Nick had trouble sleeping that night; he kept seeing Ryan and Greg happy and flaunting it right before him. It was worse than getting shot, which is what he usually dreamed about since everything happened. Damn Ryan Wolfe anyhow and damn fate that bitch, there was only one good thing to this and that was Greg being alive. He closed his eyes hoping the images he hated would fade away.

"Not as easy as you thought."

"You, you planned this."

"I told you it would not be easy Nicholas."

"But I never expected this!" he exclaimed. "Greg was not seeing anyone."

"I changed a lot of things for you, when you turn back time it does not always fall back into place."

"So this Ryan guy just appears out of nowhere and sweeps Greg off his feet?"

"Would you rather Greg be dead?"

"No, but you said he still might die."

"It is uncertain."

"All of this is fucking uncertain!"

"My child so much anger…"

"Hell yes, this is not how I imagined it."

"Things are never how you imagine them Nicholas, take this chance and do what you will with it."

"So he'll still die."

"It is still uncertain."

"Is anything in this whole fucked up situation certain?" There was nothing and Nick opened his eyes.

He was still in his room, the sheets twisted around him as he shook his head. He did not know how he was going to do it, see Ryan and Greg together. Fate was so cruel.

Greg Sanders stood in his bedroom as he stared at himself in the mirror. He kept hearing Nick's words in his head, telling him the one thing he always wanted, always dreamed of happening. And now that the words were said out loud and in the open he still did not have Nick. Why couldn't he have spoken a month sooner? Why did he have to choose now when Greg was dating someone, someone he really liked. Ryan was a great guy and Greg was not going to throw it away for something that may never come to anything at all. Nick lost his chance, and he had plenty of them. Greg knew Nick was avoiding him, he could felt it the whole night and knew especially when Warrick brought him samples from Nick's case, and Warrick wasn't even on it. If Nick thought he was the only one that was hurting then he was wrong, Greg ached because he thought he had suppressed those feelings long, but as soon as Nick spoke the words BAM there they were again. He wasn't going to give in, he wouldn't do that to Ryan Nick was still a dream, and he didn't need Nick. "Why are you doing this to me? Why now?" he spoke to the empty room. "I thought I was over you."

Nick wanted to punch out Grissom as soon as he spoke the words: "Greg you are with Nick." He was not ready for this, and it would be his luck Ryan would be the officer on the scene. They did not speak once and Nick longed for the time before he had to open his stupid mouth and ruined it all. At least they would still be friends and Nick wouldn't see Greg and Ryan together every time he closed his eyes. Fate must have really hated him, because there was Brass as they pulled up to the scene and next to him stood Officer fucking Wolfe. Nick clenched his teeth as he looked at Greg who had a slight smile on his face, this day could not get any worse.

"So Brass, what do we got?"

"Kenny Elley, five." Brass said with a frown. "The babysitter found him, said she always came over exactly at eight when the parents left, today the parents were already gone."

"Where are they now?" Greg asked and Nick knew he was already having problems; kids got to everyone especially Greg.

"I called Sofia; she is tracking them as we speak."

"Is David here?"

"Inside Nick and be warned it's not pretty." Nick nodded and took a deep breath, Greg followed silently behind. Nick cast a sideways glance to Greg, who had paled significantly since entering the house. Nick could see Ryan outside the door eyeing Greg, his face contorted in worry. Nick could tell all Ryan wanted to do was run to Greg and tell him it would be ok, Nick was very glad they were on the job.

"You ok Sanders?"

"Yeah Brass, let's just do it." His voice was cold and distant; Nick could tell he was already taking a hard hit. They found David was already huddled over the small body, the blood spatters covered the room and Nick inwardly cringed. David looked up; his glasses were tinged with fog from the tiny tears that had formed in his eyes.

"Cause of death?"

"Too many, he's been starved looks like for a long time, beaten, but it looks like blunt force trauma ultimately killed him."

"Time of death?"

"He's been here all night." David sighed. "I'm going to get him back to lab." Nick nodded and turned to Greg who still had not spoken and Nick watched as Greg's eyes hardened as the little boy was rolled away, the blood still outlined where the body had been. Greg was still not moving.

"Greg?"

"You know I still remember that night, if I had not been so clumsy who knows how long it would have been to find him. Sometimes I still see him when I close my eyes…"

"Greg I…"

"Let's just process this and find the bastard who did this."

They didn't speak for the rest of the time as they processed, but Nick kept his eye on Greg who was bound and determined to collect every minuet piece of evidence. Nick realized that Greg was going to be a good CSI, maybe even make level 3 quicker than he himself had.

Later back at the lab after having seen the body in the morgue Nick had lost track of Greg who had slipped away as soon as they left the morgue. He rounded the corner to the break and stopped when he saw Ryan and Greg in there. Nick could see they were trying not to show their emotions, but Nick could see it clearly in their eyes. Nick wanted so bad to be the one who comforted Greg because he knew the younger CSI was taking the case hard. It was then Nick made a decision, if Greg would not fall willingly in love with him he would find a way to make Greg love him. Ryan didn't deserve him and Nick would make Greg see that. Nick wanted Greg and he would get what he wanted no matter what. Fate was a bitch, but he would fight back.

The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain