I never could have seen this far
I never could have seen this coming
It seems like my world is falling apart
Yeah

Why is everything so hard
I don't think that I can deal with the things you said
They just won't go away

The room was dark as he opened his eyes; he wondered why he was so warm. He looked to his side and saw a warm body curled next to him, it was then he remembered what had happened the night before. He remembered Greg and he remembered the feeling of finally being with him, finally getting to kiss him. He wanted to live in this moment forever, to just lie there and watch Greg sleep, to know that this man was his to keep. But as soon as Greg opens his eyes Nick knows the shit will hit the fan, so he closes his eyes and tries to treasure this moment as long as he can.

"Nick?"

"Uh, hi Greg."

"We…uh..didn't…"
"We did." Greg sat up quickly at Nick's confession pulling the covers up with him. "Greg, really it's not…"

"I can't do this Nick."

"You wanted just as much as I did."

"I was drunk."

"I know you feel something, I know you do."

"Don't do this Nick, it was a mistake. Ryan is in Miami and I cheated on him!"

"Ryan can't possibly be the one for you."

"He's my reality Nick." Greg said quietly. "You are my fantasy." He went to get out of the bed but Nick held his wrist. "Let go Nick."

"No, not until you understand."

"Nick, I can't do this…."

"Stop denying what you feel for me." And then he closed the distance between them crushing their lips together. Nick felt Greg resist at first but then he relaxed and held on pulling Nick closer to him. Nick felt a moan escape his lips as Greg ran his tongue along them, he was sure this was heaven. The feel of Greg against him and he would remember everything this time, every touch, every kiss, every….but suddenly all the heat was gone.

"Greg…"

"No, I can't."

"Greg please…"

"I have to go Nick, this is not right."

"Then how come it feels so right?" Greg didn't answer just pulled on his clothes and silently walked out of the room. It was when he heard the front door close that Nick crumpled to his pillow and cried.

"This is all your doing!" he shouted into nothingness. "You did this; before he died there was no Ryan Wolfe!"

"So you do wish him dead then?"

"I didn't say that."

"Exactly, you merely wished for a second chance."

"And this is what you call a chance? Getting my heart ripped out watching the man I love fall in love with someone else? Some fucking chance."

"The deed is done and time progresses Nicholas."

"I'm just losing him all over again." He whispered as he closed his eyes.

Nick dreaded work the next night and prayed to the Gods above that Grissom would not put him with Greg. He did not know if he could handle it.

"You're back early." Was what he heard as he walked into the lab, it was Greg's voice that he was for sure. "I wasn't supposed to pick you up till tomorrow."

"I know, I wanted to surprise you. I missed you."

"I missed you too Ryan." Nick blanched and squeezed his eyes shut; he did not need to witness this. He walked quickly past them to the break room to find Warrick inhaling a sandwich.

"Dude you look like hell." He said as bits of food flew out of his mouth.

"Dude, swallow before you talk."

"Sorry, so what is the deal?"

"Nothing." He sighed.

"I know you're lying Stokes."

"I slept with Greg."

"What? When?"

"Yesterday."

"Shit man, and he's still with Ryan?"

"Yes, he won't leave him Rick, and I don't know how much longer I can watch them together after being with Greg."

"How did it feel?"

"Right."

"That ain't right man."

"Tell me about it; it's killing me to just hear his voice. I know he felt something too Rick, but he won't let himself give in."

"Maybe you really are too late."

"I can't let him go that easily."

"But maybe it is the only way." Nick looked at Warrick, but was silent; he did not want to admit that maybe Warrick was right.

Nick was lucky and got Sara that night, but even being with her did not ease his mind. Greg told Sara everything.

"I know he told you, he tells you everything."

"Nick don't start, not now we're on a scene."

"What did he tell you? That he took pride in walking away? That he liked breaking my fucking heart!"

"Nick! This is not the time or place." She hissed as officers began to look. "You were to fucking late, it's your own damn fault."

"My fault?"

"Just stop it, and if it matters to you at all he's miserable, could not stop crying after he told me."

"Then why aren't we together Sara?"

"That's not place to tell you Nick. Just forget about it we have a job to do."

"It's not that easy to forget." He whispered as she walked away.

Greg could barely look Nick in the eye and wanted to kiss Grissom for giving him a solo case, at least alone he could dwell on the mess he created. Being with Nick was everything he ever imagined and much more and walking away from Nick was the hardest thing he ever had to do. Ryan was a nice guy and he just couldn't let go of what he had for one brief encounter with the man of his dreams.

"Greg are you ok?"

"Yeah Ryan, I am fine." He sighed. "Just tired."

"How about a back rub?"

"Uh, sure." Greg closed his eyes as Ryan kneaded his tight muscles, trying not to picture Nick instead.

"Dude, I think you've had enough."

"It's not like I am driving Rick." Nick slurred as he finished off his eleventh beer. "And I feel so good."

"I imagine you do."

"Do you think we should take him home?" Catherine asked as she came back from the bathroom. "He's not normally like this, what's with him?"

"He's just hit a rough patch."

"I'll tell you what's wrong Cath." Nick said as he moved closer to her. "Fate is a bitch, it's all her fault."

"Nick? Are you sure you're ok?"

"I'm just peachy keen Warrick. It's not enough she killed off Greg, then she brings him back only to have Ryan attached to his ass."

"Do you have any idea what he's talking about?"

"No idea Cath."

"And another thing, he's so fickle acting all sweet until he rips out your fucking heart, you know what fuck him." And then he took another swig of beer. "And fuck Ryan too, and you too fate, fuck you!" he shouted to the ceiling and then promptly passed out.

"Think you can help?"

"No problem Warrick."

Nick rubbed his eyes and closed them again as they came in contact with the bright sunlight.

"Damn." He muttered. "What the hell happened last night?"

"You were drunk off your ass that's what happened."

"Damn Rick, do you have to talk so loud?"

"I'm not talking loud."

"Oh hold God." He groaned. "I need drugs."

"That's what you get for drinking the entire bar."

"I did not do anything stupid to did I?"

"No except, you repeatedly told fate to fuck off."

"Oh uh…"

"Nick man that was a new low."

"I know, I just need to forget about him don't I?"

"I know it's hard, but it's for the best."

"Yeah, for the best." He sighed and closed his eyes. "But I never wanted it to be like this."

Greg wondered who in the hell could Ryan be talking to for two hours, his well planned dinner was cold and the wine didn't even taste that good anymore. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes; a little peeved Ryan was ruining their meal. All he knew was that phone call better have been damned important.

"You know this is perfect right?"

"I do know." Greg sighed and leaned back further into his lover's embrace.

"It took awhile G, but here we are."

"Well you were Mr. Stubborn head."

"Me? You're a tease."

"Don't you know it Nicky." Greg grinned and leaned into kiss him. "I love you."

"I love…" but suddenly Nick started fading away. "Greg, Greg wake up."

"Huh? What?" His eyes snapped open to reveal Ryan and not Nick.

"You were sleeping."

"Our dinner is cold."

"I'm sorry baby, the call was from Miami."

"Miami? You're Aunt Fay?"

"No, Horatio Cane."

"Horatio who?"

"He's a shift supervisor for the Miami crime lab, he was friends with my uncle."

"Oh, so he was calling why?"

"He offered me a job."

"What? In Miami?"

"Yeah, a CSI job."

"But you live here…"

"I told him no, and then he asked why and I said because I was involved and then I said you were a CSI here and he offered you a position too."

"What? But all my friends are here and N…" he stopped and bit his tongue.

"I won't take it unless you want to."

"It's such an opportunity for you; I do not want to hold you back."

"But we've got a good thing going on here Greg; I do not want to throw it away. Think about it ok?"

"Ok, I'll think about it."

Greg laid awake as Ryan slept peacefully next to him. Miami was so far away from what he knew, away from Nick. But maybe if he were away from Nick things would be better and it would not hurt so much. Leaving Nick was going to be hard, but for the best, he hoped.

"Ryan, you awake?"

"Now I am."

"I want to go."

"What?"

"Miami, let's do it."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." He said as he looked straight into Ryan's eyes. "I've never been more sure."

"I was hoping you would say yes." And then Ryan kissed him and Greg pushed every thought of Nick from his mind.

"Where is Greg? He was supposed to be subbing in the lab tonight." Nick complained as he dropped off his samples to an empty lab.

"You don't know." Sara whispered from behind him.

"Know what?"

"He's leaving for Miami with Ryan."

"What?"

"Ryan got an offer in Miami and Greg is going too."

"It's that serious then?"

"Nick…"

"He can't leave, not yet."

"Nick what are you doing?"

"Changing my fate." He shouted as he sprinted out of the lab.

The airport was fairly deserted as Nick maneuvered his way through, looking for any plane to Miami. If he did not hurry he would miss his chance forever. Then he saw him, at the Starbucks no less.

"Greg!"

"Nick? What are you doing here?"

"You can't leave Greg, you don't love him."

"You don't know that."

"You can't love him."

"And why is that?"

"You're in love with me."

"Stop it Nick, just go."

"No, I am not letting you leave."

"Nick…" his words were cut off as Nick crushed their lips together, and Greg did not try to resist as he melted into it.

"That's why you should stay." Nick breathed out, his breath ghosting across Greg's lips. Greg almost gave in, but then he thought of Ryan and he just could not do it. Where was Nick when he was unattached?

"I have to go."

"Greg…"

"I'm sorry Nick, I'll never forget you."

"Greg please don't leave, not like this…"

"Goodbye."

"Greg…" Nick could do nothing but watch the love of his life walk away; he did not even try to keep the tears at bay.

"Greg are you ok?"

"Just fine Ryan." He said as he pressed his fingers against the window as Vegas faded away. "I love you Nick."

In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You'd still be here
And it makes no sense
I could just pick up the pieces
But to you this means nothing
Nothing at all