Nineteen: Netiquette and Many Minis
It was Wednesday, and the bruises had faded somewhat. Mystitat was again her cheery self and about to think out another plan to get her beloved Mistoffelees, while the rest of the Misto Squad still had the new verse of Macavity's song in fresh memory and weren't so keen on trying anything very soon.
"Dying isn't even worth it anymore," complained Mystical21 and supported her head in her hands. "Misto's too busy with those stupid force-fields to have time for any revivals, and Coricopat just isn't the same... Oh, what is it now?"
She glared at the mini-Pollicle by her feet. Mistofolees looked at her with large, blue eyes, and then he grinned toothily.
"Go away, you stupid creature!" the fangirl hissed. "Why does he keep following me around?"
"You created him," said Joanna and shrugged. "As far as he knows, you're his mother."
"Stupid animal," muttered Mystical21.
Joanna chuckled and turned around to face the teacher, who had just come into the classroom. It was not Skimbleshanks, as she had expected, but Jellylorum.
"Good morning," said the multi-coloured queen kindly. "I'm afraid Skimble is much too busy with helping Asparagus building the hut in the mini-Pollicle pen for teaching a class, so I offered to take over this lesson."
The Skimbleshanks Lusters grumbled, but didn't protest any further. Jellylorum pointedly ignored them.
"However, miss Minnaloushe asked me to bring up the things that you might do wrong in any writing. I believe the term she used was 'Netiquette.' Can anyone tell me an example of something that breaks Netiquette laws?"
When no one answered, she cleared her throat and continued. "In-text author's notes is one of the greatest sins you can commit when writing. There is nothing more annoying for a reader to stumble across than that. Never EVER write in-text author's notes. If you do, miss Minnaloushe will be most crossed, and I believe you already know what happens when miss Minnaloushe gets most crossed?"
Joanna shivered. Oh yes. She knew. Jellylorum smiled.
"Good, then we have cleared up that little matter. Now, can anyone..."
She was interrupted by a loud bark from Jellyorum, one of her minis. All eyes turned towards the mini, who was listening intently for something.
Joanna frowned. She heard something... she was sure of that. It sounded vaguely like thunder, and it was getting louder and louder. Jellylorum harrumphed, probably annoyed that she was being bothered in the middle of a lesson, and poked out her head in the corridor to see what it was that caused such a ruckus.
"Oh dear," she mumbled. "Oh dear, oh dear..."
"What is it?" asked Cyrano, who sat and doodled things in his notebook, not paying much attention.
"Nothing!" the queen said hurriedly. "Nothing at all! Now, get back to your studies immediately!"
Of course there was something. Miss Minnaloushe rather wished that there wasn't anything, but now it was, and she had to deal with it, as always.
"Rumpus Cat!" she roared. "Why are there so many minis around all of a sudden?"
The Rumpus Cat, looking quite bewildered, shrugged and ran off to try and scare the rampant minis back in line. Pouncival answered for him.
"We really don't know," he said. "They just... show up. Like this thing."
He showed at a large hole in the ground that hadn't been there before. Ekwy, who had been exploring the hole, adjusted her beret (which had gotten a flashlight attached to it) and said: "It has pillows in it, miss Minnaloushe. It's looking rather cosy, actually."
"We think it's the Heaviside Lair," added Gecka and peeked up her head from the hole. "Fascinating what those fanbrats can come up with, eh?"
She smiled from ear to ear and dived down again. After a few seconds they could her shouting happily: "It's got fuzzy blankets, Eks!"
Miss Minnaloushe sighed. She felt a headache coming on. "All right. Who are the newly arrived mini-Pollicles, Pouncival?"
"There are... 19 of 'em, miss," the tom answered after a quick counting. One for Etcetera, one for Exotica, two for Jellylorum, one for Grizabella, two for Coricopat, two for Macavity, one for Mungojerrie, one for Munkustrap, two for Rumpleteazer, two for the Rum Tum Tugger, one for Skimbleshanks and two for Tumblebrutus." He took a deep breath. "They're multiplying extremely fast. We almost can't keep up with them. Oh, and there is this, too."
He nodded towards Kihr, who was balancing a large model of what appeared to be a city on his shoulders. He nearly fell over from the weight of it, but managed to steady himself in the last moment and got the model up on the table in the faculty area. Miss Minnaloushe regarded it. She didn't recognize the city it pictured, but then, she was not very familiar with earthly geography.
"What is it?" she asked dejectedly.
"Jellico," answered Pouncival. "It's located in Tennessee, USA, as far as we've gathered. Someone really needs to check spelling before posting things..."
"Oh I'm fine, by the way," said Kihr, looking hurt. "I might've sprained a wing or something carrying that thing around, nothing serious. Thanks for asking."
"Sorry you didn't hurt yourself," said miss Minnaloushe absentmindedly. "Go and play with your fangirls."
"One! I have one fangirl! And I can't for the life of me understand why I can't scare her off!" Kihr flapped his wings in annoyance. "You might think that the students would run from a guy with a bad temper and an arsenal of knives on his back, but no. Does no one think I'm intimidating?"
"I think you're a little scary," offered Ekwy politely.
Kihr looked at her hopefully. "Really?"
"Sure. It might help if you, you know, whined a little less. Then you'd be real scary."
"All I wanted to know." The male Ironwing strutted away in search of some students to scare. Most preferably Starfire, his only fangirl and self-appointed bodyguard.
"Thank Heaviside," muttered miss Minnaloushe. "I really wish Kihra would come and take him back, he's really getting on my nerves... Now, let's talk serious things." She sat down on a chair and stretched out her wings. "How's the work on the hut in the pen going?"
"Quite well, I think," said Gecka, peeking up from the Heaviside Lair again. "I went over there this morning. It's looking good."
"That's good to hear," sighed the course coordinator. "The minis need a warm home. It will snow more tonight."
No one asked how she knew that. Ironwings were a mysterious people.
"Well, if the faculty are cold, they can always come here," said Ekwy and nodded towards the Lair. "It's nice and warm. Just perfects for cats. Probably safe from fanbrats as well."
Miss Minnaloushe nodded. "Fabulous. Has anyone seen Grizabella? I want to talk to her about... oh."
She stopped talking. Suddenly and with no explanation whatsoever, an absolutely gigantic cat stood in front of them. His face was mostly in shadow, and his glowing red eyes stared at the gathered staff-members.
"My goodness," mumbled Ekwy. She recognized him, but she wondered silently to herself if her sister would. Gecka had always been more prone to watch track number five on the DVD over and over, rather than looking at the whole thing.
"'Ello," said the giant with a surprisingly gentle voice. "I was just wonderin' if I could get a class for meself, miss?"
Miss Minnaloushe pulled herself together and coughed a little. "And what would you teach then, exactly?"
"Well, I was thinkin' that I could pr'aps represent them small characters that no one cares about, miss. I could do that well, miss. I've had lots o' practice," he added sadly.
The course coordinator pondered this. "I suppose we could fit you in somewhere for a seminar... Who else were you planning on bringing into your class?"
The giant shrugged. "Don't rightly know, miss. I think Gilbert was in'trested as well. Possibly Exotica too. She sorta ran away when I was askin' her, but I think she'll come around if I leave her to it."
"Good, good. Anyone else?"
"Maybe. I've tried to find Grumbuskin, but he's off somewhere with Growltiger, and I don' know when he'll be back."
"You could try the mysterious seven," suggested Ekwy. "Peter, Augustus, James, Victor, Jonathan, George and Bill Bailey. They're working at the Heavyside Rehabilitation Centre for Mary-Sues, but I think they would love to come here to the junkyard and join your club. I could send them a message right away, if you like."
The huge cat grinned. "Thanks lots, miss, I appreciate that."
She smiled. "You're welcome."
Miss Minnaloushe looked pleased. "Well, I shall put it under serious consideration. Just gather your members, and we'll see what happens."
The giant nodded eagerly and gave her a salute. "Until next time then, miss," he said and followed Ekwy as she jumped out of the Lair and went to send a message to the HRC.
"This shall be interesting indeed," said Gecka and got out of the hole. She brushed off her uniform and adjusted the "OFUC Staff" badge on her chest. "I wonder if he'll ask Billy McCaw to join as well."
Miss Minnaloushe smiled slightly. "That would a sight. I wonder if our friend could get him to play at our next party? I mean, I have nothing against Tugger's bagpipes, but it would be nice with a little variety."
"I agree completely."
Joanna left her lesson with a head that was buzzing with "Netiquette." Jellylorum had taught them why you should never write a fic in capital letters, that Random Capitalization should be a crime punishable by death, and that one exclamation mark is quite enough, thank you very much.
Now she was exhausted, and the day had barely begun. Misty, who was chewing on a Bustopher Jones' Shrimp Delight, also had problems with keeping her eyes open.
"That was boring," said the fake Jellicle and yawned. "Jellylorum always made me sleepy."
"You're a cat," pointed out Joanna. "You're always sleepy."
"I mean before, when I was human and back home!" protested Misty. "I used to fall asleep on the couch every time Gus the Theatre Cat came on." She sighed. "Good times."
"I used to do that too," admitted Joanna. "There was just something very soothing about Gus's voice. I'll probably never do that again though, not after having spent a year at this place."
"Yeah, I'll keep expecting minis to attack me if I should ever be so horrible and fall asleep in the middle of CATS." Misty shook her head. "OFUC will scar me for life."
"Hey guys!" exclaimed Lu suddenly and waved her schedule around. "You'll never guess who's going to have a seminar on Saturday!" Her cheeks were flushing, and she was bouncing up and down. "Misto! I just read it on the schedule! A whole day with just Misto!"
And suddenly, life was beautiful, campus was a paradise with sunshine and flowers, and Joanna's stomach was filled with butterflies.
A/N: Extra Jellice (the non-Monsterified sort) to the ones who figured out who the giant cat is!
And it is my birthday tomorrow, Friday. If you want to make me happy, then send in fanart for the contest! You still have a week left until deadline! Oh and Mystitat, there's a new one on PhotoBucket. :)
Answers to Reviews:
Mystitat: But what shall you think of now, when Mistoffelees isn't taking care of the revivals anymore? Ah, it's hard being a fangirl, isn't it? .:grins:.
Tera Earth: I'm pretty sure I've written you in before the last chapter... The address of the OFUC website is www dot freewebs dot com slash randomninity slash ofuc, translated to Internet language of course, since you can't post links here. It is pretty!
Theatre-sama: Technically she didn't die because Misto zapped her, but because she was taken to the infirmary afterwards, where Jennyanydots gave her Aspirin. She died because it's lethal to cats. Heh. But Mystitat has probably died lots of times "off-screen" so to speak. She's good at dying!
Zazzie: What happens if you misspell a mini's name? I suppose the mini spawns... (Puppies, yay!) Or there's just a new mini. .:shrugs:. I've never really thought about that...
Aislin of the Shadows: Yikes. Many minis, there are. I would like that link, if just to get more minis. Although I have a lot now... The count was 68 the last time I checked. They're taking over!
Jemima-luvah: Sure, I'll try and write Exotica somewhere. But she's rather shy, as we all know. :) Perhaps she doesn't want to play. I'll try to entice her with some catnip. .:gives the Revival Squad purely platonical hugs from you:.
Korora: .:pets you:. Heh. That was cute.
Antigone: I know what you mean. I am exactly like that myself. Getting mentioned in a story by another writer is real fun. Quite a trip, really. Kittens? I'll think about it...
JemimaWeasley: Nope, I don't. Thanks! .:pets McAvity:.
D0uble-Tr0uble: Apparently Miss Cam has had some trouble with her email. Things end up in the trash even though she doesn't want them there. That's probably what happened with your request. If you want to make sure she gets it, then go to the PPC Posting Board and ask for permission there. :)
LadyPup: Miss Cam's original story is called OFUM, or the Official Fanfiction University of Middle-earth. It takes place in the Lord of the Rings fandom, obviously. It's wonderful. You can find a link to Miss Cam's account on my profile. I know that there's a Phantom OFU as well, but I don't think that there's one with Les Mis, although Miss Cam has a complete list of spin-offs on her website (linked on HER profile.) The first one can also be found on my favourites list. :)