Chapter Two: Daftness and Ignorance

It was another gorgeous day in Rivendell. The leaves had just begun to take on the orange tinge that signified the approaching fall as the numbers of Elves leaving the shores increased ever so slightly.

Erestor strolled along a path overlooking a glittering waterfall as the breeze stirred his robes and hair. He let out a long sigh of happiness on the most basic level. It was a good day simply because.

This, however, was about to change.

Someone came skidding around the corner ahead of him and darted past. Erestor reached out swiftly and seized the arm of the runner. Estel came to a screeching halt, but Erestor's firm but gentle grip kept him from falling on his face.

"What is it that causes such hurry?" Erestor asked mildly.

"I found this book in the library, and I thought that Ada should have a look at it." Estel explained, somewhat breathily.

"Let me see." Erestor took one look at the book in Estel's arm and changed his mind. "On second thought, burn it."

"Huh? But couldn't it be valuable?"

"No. Trust me. No good can come from that much pink."

Elrond chose that moment to walk by. "Something wrong, Erestor? You look slightly pale."

"Just a bad feeling, that's all."

Elrond's eyes fell on the book that Estel clutched. "That's an interesting-looking book you have there."

"I found it in the libr—"

"Honestly, Elrohir, I don't see your point!"

"That's because you're ignorant!"

"At least I'm not daft!"

"My sons, what did I tell you about these little fights?" Elrond said, with a frighteningly calm expression.

"But, Ada—"

"I am not being unreasonable, but since you decided to ignore me nonetheless, it's time to take your punishment."

"Ada!"

"We will read this book, from cover to cover. I know not what is contained within the pages, but I know it will not be good. Yet it will be a lesson to both of you." Elrond replied, with a hint of mirth in his eyes.

Had he known what was in the book, Elrond would have not included himself in the group of people reading it. Had he known…he would have run away, as all with sense would.

The twins exchanged a glance and seemed to decide on the spot that if they were going down, they were taking everyone else with them.

"Well," began Elrohir. "If this is for punishment, then there are others who should be joining us."

"Oh?" said Elrond with a slight smirk, raising an eyebrow.

"Why just a few minutes ago, Estel was running through the halls. Arwen stole Glorfindel's horse again. Glorfindel tracked mud onto the carpet. And Erestor cussed when a book fell on him in the library." Elrohir ticked off their names on his fingers.

"And Galadriel, Celeborn, Legolas, Thranduil, and Haldir are all visiting, so they should have to listen as well!" Elladan added decisively.

"Whatever for?" Erestor asked, seething a bit from being included.

"They should know better than to visit." Was all the reply he got.

"Then it's settled." Elrond smirked, enjoying the look on Erestor's face way too much.

"What's settled?" Arwen questioned as she came up to the group, looking curious.

"Oh…nothing." The twins chorused together. Right away, Arwen's suspiciousness-detector went off. They were up to something. But that was obvious, even to someone who didn't know them. The horns were evidence enough.

The guests and those being 'punished' were ushered into a room overlooking a spectacular waterfall. Numerous chairs were scattered about as the eleven Elves and one human child found a seat. Estel seemed to be enjoying himself, and not understanding why he was being punished. Galadriel looked dubious. Erestor and Arwen were glaring at the twins. Glorfindel was Celeborn, Thranduil, and Haldir, all of whom seemed very much indifferent to the whole affair.

Elrond cleared his throat as the signal that it was time to begin. Many adopted the faces of pouting schoolchildren reluctant to give up their freedom and resign themselves to a day of classes. At least, that's one way to picture it.

"Shall we begin?" he asked bemusedly.

"If we must." Thranduil sighed. Elrond shot him a look and he smirked.

Elrond opened to the first page of the book and felt a wave of dread wash over him. Instead of shutting the book and backing away slowly, he started to read.

Eternal Love Shining Like the Sun on My Hair by GoRgEoUsChIcK690

Hi. My name is Emyrald Green, and I love Legolas Greenleaf. If we were to get married, I'd only have to add 'leaf' to the end of my name, tee hee!

If ever Legolas had felt the urge to bolt, that was the moment. He froze and felt his blood run cold. Next to him, his father suppressed a laugh.

This is my totally tragic, romantic, gorgeous story. And speaking of gorgeous: I am! Let me describe myself to you right now, so that as you're reading, you can picture me and my beautiful beauty. That, and it's much easier to, like, get it over now than to actually fit it into the story. Who does that!

There was a very uncomfortable silence that fell over the room as everyone shifted in their seats and wondered about the sanity of the writer.

I'm tall, but not too tall. And I'm thin, but not too thin.

"And I'm decisive, but not too decisive…I think." Elladan mocked in a high-pitched voice.

True to my name, I have emerald green eyes that take on different shades of emerald green for each of my moods.

"And those moods would be happy, lustful, and stupid, correct?" Haldir ventured a guess.

Several members of the group stared at him, open-mouthed.

My hair is crimson red, but naturally colored, and falls far past my waist. It's wavy and cascades down my back like a waterfall. When it's wet, it is the dark color of blood—hee hee, how sexy!

Elrond looked violently ill, that those words had come from his own mouth. "Perhaps someone else would like to read…?"

Elladan and Elrohir adopted identical evil grins. "Oh no, Ada, you are the one doing the punishing, and you seem to be enjoying yourself so much! We couldn't possibly!"

"My thoughts exactly." Celeborn mused.

Seeing that he had no allies in the room, Elrond sighed in defeat. He was beginning to realize that this was punishing himself as well, but he couldn't go back on what he said or he would never hear the end of it…

TBC…

Not very funny, but I'm getting back into my writing habits. I hope.