It's all true. Except the last part with the magic wand. The wicked witch is not EXACTLY defeated, but I'm getting there. Promise.
Twenty-Four: Dreaming and Scheming
Joanna soon found out that when you were not doing homework, there was little else to do at OFUC campus. That was why it came as a relief once word got out that all students at OFUC were due to pick out fancy clothes for the extremely posh Christmas party.
So the Monday that week the female students were told to go the cafeteria, where large racks had been placed, all hung full of dresses in various shapes, colours and cuts. A few Jellicle queens were trotting around the place to help them out. (Both Griddlebone and Jellylorum had an eye for this type of things, so they had volunteered right away. Bombalurina had stepped up just because she wanted to chat some more with Griddlebone. The two queens had a lot in common.)
Most of the girls where in heaven, since they hadn't been able to go shopping for a very long time, but not all of them were in a good mood.
"This is a waste of my time," said Misty as she regarded the dressing gowns with distaste. "I mean, what is the point anyway? We'll only use them once."
"Come on, Misty," smiled Joanna and held up a piece of red silk to her face. "Are you saying that you don't find this even a little bit fun? More importantly, does this go with my skin tone?"
"Not even one bit. The red, that is, not whether or not this is fun. Because it is fun. A little bit. But I still don't get why we have to pick dresses for a stupid Christmas party."
"Because miss Minnaloushe wants to say she's sorry for having killed us on numerous occasions?" suggested Poe helpfully as she tried on eye-shadow and admired herself in Griddlebone's large mirror.
The idea of miss Minnaloushe being sorry for anything was so ridiculous that Joanna and Misty simply snorted in unison. "Yeah, right..."
Griddlebone came sassing up to them, her long, fluffy tail raised in the air to make sure it wasn't getting dirty. Behind her trailed her three minis, plus Jessedandle, who had taken one look at the gorgeous Persian queen and immediately converted from Skimbleshanks admirer to Griddlebone fangirl.
"And how are we doing here?" asked Griddlebone. "Did you find anything you like?"
She had a very distinct way of speaking, the lady. She spoke carefully and neatly, clearly pronouncing each syllable. It sounded a bit like Bustopher Jones did, without sounding too pompous. It probably had something to do with them both being noble folk.
Joanna shrugged. "Well, I'm very fond of this red thing here..."
"You have a lousy taste in clothing," snorted Griddlebone. "Red is clearly not your colour; it makes you look like a corpse. Try this."
She picked out a blue dress. It looked very classy with a square cleavage and white lace at the brim. Joanna took it and held it up. Griddlebone was right. It brought out her eyes.
The Persian left them both, shaking her head and muttering about students being "un-fashionable twits." Joanna and Misty shrugged, and then they got back to try and accessorize.
The last few days until Christmas went painfully slowly. The hours stretched out into forever, and the students were all impatient. Since most students were fangirls of some variety, OFUC suffered countless tries to glomp Lust Objects during these days. The faculty kept count on successful glompings (none) and those who had been stopped by minis (forty-nine), PPC Agents (twenty-six) or through... faculty interference (one hundred and thirty-seven). So far Macavity was in the lead for most students killed, with Mistoffelees not too far behind.
The magical cat had suffered a lot. He rarely left the faculty area nowadays, but spent his time in the Heaviside Lair, sleeping and planning vicious ways to despatch of students. Ekwy and Gecka hadn't the heart to tell him that students had found a way to get in, so when the tunnel that Mystitat, Eclectica and Jessedandle had dug a few months ago was discovered, the Agents quietly got it filled up and nailed planks of wood in front of the two openings.
"We have to do something about this," said Ekwy as she threw Qmélie Ronron a biscuit. "I'm exhausted, you're exhausted, even the minis are tired." She sighed and petted Qmélie, who yawned. "If it keeps going on like this... I don't know if we'll be able to keep them in check."
Her sister nodded. "I know. Killing them doesn't slow them down as much as it used to. When they wake up, they just go on their merry way to think of another plan to get to their LOs. Something has to be done."
Miss Minnaloushe, who was sitting in the shadows regarding her both employees, sat up straight. Her wings unfolded a bit, making a sound like a dozen rattlesnakes.
"What do you suggest, then?" she asked.
The Agents leaned back, both frowning.
"Well," said Gecka finally. "I... don't really know. We have to make them behave until school starts up again when they can get other things on their minds. Make them calm down..."
"Perhaps a contest?" suggested Ekwy. "A behaving contest? The one who is the nicest and quietest wins a great prize!"
"And what prize would that be?" wondered miss Minnaloushe. "It has to be something they would care about. Care deeply about."
Gecka's eyes lit up suddenly. "A dance!" she exclaimed happily. Then she blushed slightly and lowered her voice. "A dance with their Lust Objects. It would be a HUGE prize. They would all go through fire and water to win that!"
"I don't like it much." The course coordinator wrinkled her nose. "And I doubt the Jellicles will agree."
"Oh, you don't know that," protested Ekwy. "They might go for it. Anything to get the students off their backs. Although Mistoffelees might be a problem..." She frowned. "He's been a little... jumpy lately."
"I can get Victoria to speak with him," said miss Minnaloushe. "That kitten has a talent for making him see reason." She smiled faintly. "It is somewhat endearing, really."
"Then it is decided," grinned Ekwy. "Now. Can I announce it at the party, please, please, please?"
Christmas Eve.
Joanna was feeling pleasantly sleepy, a feeling that could only come from a long day of being outside, playing in the snow. She had helped tuggergirl and Nabooru building a snowman, but gotten into a fight with tuggergirl on whether they should give it a mane or not. The fight would have gotten ugly, had not Tugger walked by just then and sent his fangirl into the blissful state of unconsciousness.
After finishing the snowman (no mane, thank you very much) Joanna had gotten caught up in a snowball fight with basically the entire student body. She was now freezing down to her bone, her fingers were basically blue, and Xbakiyalo (or as Joanna called her "The One With The Unpronounceable Name") had accidentally thrown a snowball right in her face. Her nose was now a very classy shade of red, and it ached dully.
Hurriedly, Joanna jumped into the TSE 4, not getting out of her wet clothes fast enough. She shivered with cold and wrapped herself up in blankets, creating a warm and dry little nest for herself.
'Much better,' she thought contentedly. 'If I'd been a Jellicle student, I would've purred right now.'
She closed her eyes, and soon she was sleeping. And dreaming...
She was sitting in the library at OFUC, and she was trying to write a story. A lot of books were piled up in front of her on the table, thick and old-looking books with names she forgot as soon as she read them. She was looking for something, something important, but she couldn't remember...
She tried to read the words she had already written, since she knew that sometimes your muse came to visit you in dreams and she might learn something from this one. The letters wriggled like worms on the page, too blurred to make any sense of at all. She groaned in frustration and tried harder, until her eyes filled with tears from the strain.
Slowly, she became able to see the words.
Bastet was not your normal cat. Her fur was a lovely pearly grey and it was long like the one of a Persian. Her eyes were large and emerald green with sparkles of gold just close to the pupil. She was always smiling, much like her best friends, Victoria and Etcetera...
"This is a Mary-Sue," she said out loud. "I can't finish this."
But... she had to have something to hand in! My god, it was already time for her to write the end-term fic, the one that would set her entire grade! Without it, she wouldn't be able to graduate!
Her heart pounding, she looked up to see the shimmering force-field. It was snowing outside, and the sky was uninviting and grey. But... shouldn't it be summer now?
"You're still writing?" asked Misty in surprise and waved her own fic around. It looked at least three hundred pages thick. "I wrote mine months ago. You should have started sooner, Jo."
"I know," she mumbled. "I... I tried..."
Misty threw her head back and howled in pain at the moon as iron wings forced their way out of her back. Then she smiled. Her face changed into that of miss Minnaloushe. An angry miss Minnaloushe.
"Well, you didn't try hard enough," she said coldly and tore the paper from Joanna's hands. She ripped it into long shreds that she threw into the air. "This is garbage. Looks like you'll be here for another year, miss Swanson. Really, I'd have expected better from you."
The fic-shreds turned into Shrimp Delights, and mini-Pollicles jumped up to catch them.
"What do you want with us anyway?" asked Old Deuteronomy as he watched them. He looked up and stared into Joanna's eyes, and in that moment he seemed ancient. "We can't give you what you look for. It is not ours to give. So what do you want, really?"
She said the first thing that came to mind: "I want to be... one of you."
"You can't. You don't understand. How can you be what you don't understand?" He smiled a little, as if she was an ignorant child who didn't know any better. "Are you blind when you are born... can you see in the dark..."
Joanna wanted to cry out to him that she could understand, that she could see if they would only let her, if they wouldn't shun her all the time, if they... if they...
"Everything has rules," whispered Coricopat. "Even this."
"We have to know the rules," whispered Tantomile. "To learn."
"To evolve."
"To grow."
"We're all kittens in the beginning."
"You've grown already."
"I have?" asked Joanna.
"Yes... Can't you see? Look at yourself."
She did. Sharp claws grew from her fingers, that suddenly pounding with pain. Her hands were swollen, and blood dripped from her fingernails. But they were there. Claws. Jellicle claws.
"We tamed Men a long time before you even moved into your caves," the Twins' voices echoed. "Before Men discovered fire and the protection it gives, Cats had learned what life was. That's what the Book says."
Joanna frowned. "The Book?"
"The Book. There is a Candle, there is a Bell, and there is a Book. Wake up now, miss Swanson."
Joanna opened her eyes.
"Jo! Hey, Jo! Come on, get up now. We have to get ready for the feast!"
Joanna groaned, still half asleep. The last memory of the dream faded away as Misty's face came into view.
"Hello, sleepy-head," her roomie chirped. "Did you have a nice nap?"
"How long did I sleep?" mumbled Joanna and rubbed her eyes.
Misty shrugged. "You were when I came here about a half hour ago. It's almost time for dinner, so you'd better get up. You know it's 'Bad Form' to arrive to a party late." Her imitation of miss Minnaloushe was so good that Joanna grinned widely.
"All right, fine." She sat up and yawned. "But I thought that noble people arrived fashionably late? Isn't that a rule from somewhere?"
"If it is then I don't think miss Minn has heard about it. So hurry up!"
Joanna did. She swiftly dove into her dress. It really did go well with her eyes, she reflected. It was just too bad that it clashed with the current colour of her nose. She took a blanket and patted her injury carefully.
"Think this can be covered with make-up?" she asked Misty.
Her roommate shrugged. "I doubt it. But it's December, everyone's noses will be red from the cold anyway."
Joanna giggled. "True. Just let me get my hair up and I'll be ready to go."
She looked at her blond hair in the car mirror before putting it in a classy ponytail. She wrapped a silk ribbon the colour of her dress around it, and made sure her gown looked presentable. Then she turned towards Misty, who had decided clothes just weren't "her thing" and gone with a simple red bow around her neck. Her grey fur was silky smooth, and even her whiskers were impeccably straight.
"You ready?" Misty asked.
"Certainly, my lady," answered Joanna.
The winner of the Official Fanfiction University of Cats Fanart Contest is: .:drummroll:. Rallikit with Deuteronomy and Minnaloushe!
I'd like to thank everyone who participated, and there should be rewards for you all in your inboxes. :) A shout-out to Mystitat here: She's good at making awards, isn't she? She made me one as well. I was a sneaky Ekwy and entered the contest too. I am Gissa Vem, with the stick-figures. "Gissa Vem" is Swedish for "Guess Who." Whee...
Answers to Reviews:
PDT: .:smiles enigmatically:.
Korora: I guessed as much...
Jemima-luvah: That is an excellent question. Things like bad hearing and bad eyesight will vanish once transformed into a Jellicle or a Pollicle since cats and dogs have better senses thatn humans. A broken leg... That would stay, though. Mistoffelees and the Twins would probably help out in making it heal faster, but it wouldn't go away that quickly.
Arakasema: Yes. Yes, it should. D'oh! .:puts a leash on Rumple-teezer and leads her away:.
Desert Thief: He might...
aier of mirkwood: Well, that's not nice. I hope Lu feels better! She probably does by now, though... Wow, your review was really long. But I resent that I am late in celebrating Christmas! I am early. :)
JemimaWeasley: Okay, pointers you want, pointers you'll get. There'll be emailed to you, since it would take up too much space here.
Mystical21: Yeah sure, Desert Thief can be your roomie if you want. :)
Roman de la Croix: No... not because of you. .:whistles and looks very innocent indeed:. Well yes, because of you. The whole "Killing off a canon character" thing was a bit of a shock and not what I had expected. Although if there's one thing I've learned here it is to expect the unexpected from you, Rome. In any case, a spanking is due. .:grabs the riding crop and chases you around campus:.
Eponine: All new minis except Macvity, him I've seen around. He's a vicious mini. Other Les Mis fans? No, sorry, I don't know i there are any at OFUC. Dude... Freaky dream, that. You tell your subconcious that I am not a blond, I am a brunette. And I'm not good with kids, so I'll never babysit to save my life. You'd want Gecka for that. If you dream about me again, you should get it right this time. :)
tuggergirl: Don't worry, I am not offended. I'm just glad people care enough about the story to comment when there is a mistake. But... where are there spelling errors? I always use spell check, you see.