Chapter Three: A Pit of Despair
Galadriel felt herself sinking into a pit of despair, something quite poetic-sounding and contrary to what she felt she'd ever experience. She had heard of such a person that they were reading about—it was a vague remembrance, but it was there. She knew, she could feel it (as most people with even a little common sense can), that no good could come of reading this story, even if it seemed somewhat harmless.
She, nevertheless, was just about the last person to realize this. Other than Estel, but he was at that awkward age where girls were stilly "yucky" and yet getting slowly more appealing, so he didn't really know what to make of this.
Elrond was mentally selecting who would read next, which he planned to enforce using his Elf Lord Powers. Thranduil looked like he was enjoying himself too much, hmm…
At least, or so Elrond thought, there would be no more tedious descriptions.
And enough about me, let's talk about me! I'm nice and slender, not too skinny, but not…f…fa…I can't even say it! I'm not big. I way a healthy 80 pounds. Tee hee.
"I am not familiar with that system of measurement, yet how is that I have the sneaking suspicion that that is a weight that isn't even remotely healthy?" Erestor muttered.
I wear only the most fashionable clothes, and will now proceed to describe them down to the last stitch.
"I do believe," Celeborn put in somewhat stiffly, "that it would be a better idea to skip this part."
There was a wave of affirmative nods. Desperate affirmative nods. And a few twitches. Elrond began to skim the pages, reading as little as possible.
It's not that I'm bothered by the need to maintain constant perfection (becuz it comes easily to me) but it does get annoying when the guys around you are alwayz trying to impress you..
"Oh, I'm SO sure!" Glorfindel burst out suddenly. "Self-centered little WENCH!"
Most of the occupants of the room stared at him in open-mouthed shock.
Arwen shook her head sadly. "If my instincts are correct, this is only the beginning of the corruption and torture that we will be facing because of this ghastly piece of literature." She turned to the twins and adopted a sour expression. "Thanks a lot."
"You're welcome." They replied in unison, looking rather satisfied.
Don't even get me started on my sex life. For a thirteen-year-old, I've had my share of rolling in the sa—ACK!" Elrond choked on this sentence and chucked the book at Thranduil's head.
The Elf Lord calmly held his hand up and caught the offending book before it could damage his pretty face. Estel clapped in admiration at the reflexes required to perform such a feat, while Legolas muttered something that sounded a lot like 'showoff.'
"I take it that it's my turn to read?" Thranduil put in mildly.
Elrond was currently being revived from a nasty case of shock, so Erestor answered for him.
"Yes, and may Iluvatar rest your soul."
"I'm glad you have confidence in me."
So, anywayz, this one day, I was camping. Tee hee, I luv to commune with nature. All the animals love me,
"I hope she doesn't mean literally…" Haldir muttered, evoking a great deal of therapy-inducing images in everyone else's minds.
"If you are finished corrupting Estel…" Elrond said, waking up in time to hear that comment.
… and I can talk to them!
"So she's narcissistic, stupid, rambling, AND insane?" Elrohir ticked off the traits on his fingers. "Valar, she's got quite the personality!"
"Or lack thereof." Added Celeborn.
So I was like setting up my tent when a huge storm came up from behind me suddenly.
" 'Came up from behind me'?" Elladan questioned. "What does that mean?" He took on a deep voice and scuttled behind Arwen. "Hello! I am a nasty storm! Allow me to sneak up on you!"
Arwen let out a mock squeal. "Like, my hair will be ruined! Noooo!"
I ran, and suddenly, I was on a road! OMGWTF!1
So I was on this road, and suddenly a TRUCK came from NOWHERE and RAN ME OVER! Aieeee!
Pain and darkness. And the world as I knew it was nothing but blackness. I found myself being pulled to the light…
And suddenly ("She uses that word too much," Celeborn remarked.) I was laying on my back in grass, with a beyootiful blue sky overhead. It matched my eyez.
I heard footsteps behind me.
"It's that pesky storm again, sneaking up on her, I tell you!" Legolas said with a laugh.
I turned and looked into two sets of identical eyes.
"Is that even possible?" Arwen asked.
Two identical dark-haired elves stared at me through shimmering crystal blue eyes.
Elrohir and Elladan weren't laughing anymore.
TBC….
I'm soooo sorry that this is taking so long and that the chapters are short! I just don't have anytime to write…Sorry…They'll get better, I swear.