Chapter Four: Pairanoya and Riverdel

"This is not good." Elrohir said, turning a strange shade of green.

"Not good at all." His twin added.

Glorfindel tried not to laugh at their bad luck, because he knew that karma was a nasty bugger that would come back and bite him later. Legolas wasn't as concerned.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!"

"Is there a healer around? I do believe my son has gone into fits." Thranduil remarked casually.

"HAHA! Oh, look! Now the 'two sets of identical eyes' are glaring at me!"

Elrond sighed and massaged his temples. His eyebrows had long since disappeared under his hairline.

Just kidding.

But they came close.

"Fair maiden. Why are you lying outside the borders of Riverdel?" one asked.

"Oh, thank goodness!" Erestor said in relief. "For a second, I thought they were in Rivendell! I pity the inhabitants of this 'Riverdel'."

Arwen looked ill. "Oh, just wait."

"Allow us to take u to our father, Lord Elrond of Riverdel." The other said.

"Why on ARDA would we bring a complete STRANGER into our home! That goes against all we've been taught!" Elladan exclaimed.

"Yes," Galadriel said dryly. "Paranoia is a handy quality."

Haldir nodded. "You'd be surprised."

Estel turned to Elrond. "Ada, what's 'pairanoya'?"

"It is when you do not trust anyone, and feel that someone is out to get you, child."

"Because odds are, most of the people around you AREN'T trustworthy, and someone IS out to get you." Celeborn added.

"So I am like really in the lotr universe!" Emyrald said.

"Wait, wasn't she just narrating this story?" Arwen blinked.

The twin on the right, Elrohir, picked her up in his strong arms and they made there way back to the castle.

"Why does she need to be carried?" Legolas pointed out. "And since when is there a castle in Rivendell?"

"No, she's in Riverdel, remember?" Erestor pointed out flatly.

"Ah."

They entered a beautiful room. It overlooked a waterfall. Everything was white. White ceiling, white floors, white beds, white dresser, white wood, white clothes, white doors—

"This goes on for several paragraphs." Elrond informed them, looking up. "Must I continue, or do you get the general idea?"

"We get it, continue if you must." Thranduil said, speaking for the group.

Elladan left to get some food for their guest, while Elrohir staid behind.

"Oh sweet Valar, I've got a bad feeling about this…" Elrohir mumbled.

"I know that I have only just met u, Emyrald, but I am enchanted by ur beauty. Please be mine!"

"Take me, u hott Elvish prince, you!"

Elrond's eyes bugged out of his head as he saw what was written next. "THAT'S MY SON, YOU SEDUCING WENCH! GET YOUR LUSTFULL HANDS OFF HIS--"

Elrond's mouth had to be quickly covered by Haldir's hand, lest he scar Estel's innocent young mind.

Elrohir's cheeks burned hotter than the fires of Mount Doom.

Elladan (along with everyone else in the room, and several servants listening outside) tried to pick himself up off the floor where he had fallen, incapable with laughter.

Glorfindel stepped up and took the book from the hysterical Elf Lord. "I will take over, seeing as my Lord Elrond is not in the present state of mind to continue reading." He began to flip through the pages, looking for an end to the graphicness. He glanced at the page every once in a while, and each time, he winced as if he had just been burned.

Holding the book at arms length, he turned a page and a slip of paper fell out.

Legolas picked it up and turned an interesting shade of purple.

Thranduil peered over his shoulder and made a funny squeaking sound at what saw.

Legolas tossed the paper quickly into the fire, and then doused the logs with oil to make sure it burned faster. All the while, he was shaking his head like a crazy person and muttering about 'illustrations.'

Thranduil visibly shuddered. "I've seen horrible things in my day, but that had to have been, by FAR, the most disturbing piece of paper I have encountered in all my days."

"I take it we REALLY don't want to know what was on that paper." Galadriel said, with raised eyebrows.

"Not if you wish to live the rest of your life without getting to know a therapist."

"We're good, thanks." Haldir replied.

"The horror…" came a weak voice. Everyone (except Elrond, who was still pitching a fit) to see poor Elrohir in the corner, practically curled into the fetal position.

"Ouch," Elladan grimaced. "This is an embarrassment he won't soon get over."

"Not many would, but thank you for stating the obvious." Arwen said. "We all figured that out while you were laughing like a crazed lunatic at the plight of your brother."

Elladan shrugged. "Well, you know…he wasn't exactly solemn when I got stuck upside down in that tree a few weeks ago."

"No one was!" said Estel, laughing. "Because it was the most entertainment we had had in a long while!"

"He has wisdom beyond his years." Erestor smirked.

TBC…