Chapter Six: Like, Gorgeous!1

"Ah, well if u r the sister of me, I welcome u!" Aragorn said.

" 'Sister of me'?" Glorfindel blanched. "Doesn't this author realize that she is breaking every rule of grammar?"

Erestor looked over at him calmly. "You tell me if you think she can even spell the word 'grammar' and I'll answer that question."

"Good point."

"We all welcome u!" Elrond said. He looked happy. Elladan and Elrohir shared a look as if to say—

"Been there, done that?" Legolas offered with a barely concealed smirk. His only reply was two pillows to the face, courtesy of the twins.

'Indeed.'

"Oh! How witty." Arwen deadpanned.

"We must have a feast in the honor of the lovely lady Emyrald!" Elrond said. "There will be dancing and perhaps the lady would honor us with a song!1"

Emyrald blushed and giggled, waving a perfectly manicured hand at the elf guy.

Celeborn looked up from the page. "Is it someone else's turn to read yet?" he asked flatly.

"NO," came the universal reply.

Celeborn dropped his eyes back to the book, grumbling incoherently. Apparently, Galadriel found it quite amusing and had to cover her laugh with a cough.

Several hours later, Emyrald started to get ready 4 the feast.

She brushed her looooong hair and put some eyeliner. It made her gorgeous sapphire-green-hazelish eyes stand out even more!1 Then she put on a dress that a random elf servant laid out on her bed. She put it on and looked at herself in the mirror.

"Gasp! I look, like, gorgeous!"

And since I'm so sure u all want to b able to picture her, here's a descrip…descre…discri…what the dress lookes like.

It was neon pink—

"Talk about subtle." Arwen mused.

With a very low neckline, tee hee!1 And the dress hugged Emyrald's tiny waist and trailed behind her on the floor. There was a slit in the side up to her hips.

"Okay, so she looks like a cheap wench, moving on…" Haldir waved his hand.

"I'll just skip the rest of the details of her getting ready and go straight to the banquet." Celeborn said, while flipping through several pages.

Emyrald stepped slowly down da stairs. All eyes in the room were on her. She blushed prettily.

Ro and Dan came up to her, each offering her an arm, and she entered the hall with 2 elvish studs on her arms.

"Who is this 'Ro and Dan' of which she speaks?" Elladan said, feigning confusion.

"Pretty sure she means you two; she is just using very crude nicknames." Legolas said, very slowly, as if talking to small children.

She sat at the longest table with all the important people.

Elrond stood and banged his fork on the glass.

"I'd like 2 make a little toast! To Lady Emyrald! We thank her for bringing her unmatched beauty to our Riverdel."

Celeborn did a double take at what was written next. "This 'little' toast goes on for 14 paragraphs! Sweet Eru, I didn't know you were such a windbag, Elrond."

Said Elf Lord just sunk lower in his seat.

Emyrald stood. "I am touched by ur kindness. As a thank you, I will sing u all a song…"

Celeborn tossed the book onto Haldir's lap. "I'm done."

The look Haldir gave Celeborn could have felled a Nazgul.

Emyrald began to sing a beyootiful song. As she was singing, she glanced down the table and spotted a blond.

"My, she must be proud of herself, spotting a blond in a room full of Elves." Erestor rolled his eyes.

All the blonds in the room, however, were suddenly feeling quite uncomfortable. Needless to say, Haldir, Glorfindel, Thranduil, and Legolas were squirming in their seats. Even Galadriel felt a little worried. And THAT is scary.

Her eyes widened just so slightly. Could that be Legolas?

"Heh heh heh…" Glorfindel, Thranduil, and Galadriel laughed.

Legolas shrank back. "No! Maybe…maybe it's…someone else with a wig on!"

"Aw, look how cute his denial is!" Elrohir cooed.

Thranduil clapped Legolas on the shoulder. "My son, is it time we had that 'talk'? I think I see a relationship in your future…"

"Why? Why me?" Legolas asked the ceiling.

"Because you're so pretty, Legolas." Arwen teased.

"Whyyyy?"

"Because I'm so pretty, and so was your mother." Thranduil laughed.

"Whywhywhy!"

"This is a horrible form of stalling." Glorfindel sighed.

"WHY?"

"To tell you the truth, this does seem to happen a lot." Celeborn mused. "And I have a feeling it will continue to happen."

Estel, who was just recovering from his shock, smiled. "Your best bet is to shave your head and get fat."

"WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS, ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME!"

TBC…