The Courthouse

Chapter One: In Court

Author: Dragon's Daughter 1980

Spoilers: "In the Wee Small Hours" (aired November 6, 2005)

Pairing: Bobby/Alex

Disclaimer: NBC and Mr. Wolf have complete ownership over the Law & Order shows. That being said, I'm just borrowing the cast for my own enjoyment and I promise to return all characters unharmed.

Author's Note: I've only occasionally watched L&O:CI, so I'm not completely sure about the canon. I also didn't have a chance to tape "In the Wee Small Hours" so I'm working from memory. So please excuse any of my errors (and drop me a note about them). Thank you.

When the lawyer handed her the letter, she knew what it was and her heart broke. This, she knew, could shatter the hard-built trust between them; the trust she cherished, the trust he needed. It had been written in a foolish moment of insecurity, when she had made the mistake of simply assuming, instead of looking. It had been early in their partnership; she had not yet taken the time to understand him, to accept that, for all of his quirks, underneath, Bobby was a caring man who lived in fear of one day falling pray to his family's disease, and with that, loneliness. She had never told him about her mistake; he didn't need to know and she did not wish to be reminded of her impertinence towards her partner. As she started to read, tears of shame threatened to fall; she silently begged Carver to redirect; to give her the chance to explain her partner to an ignorant world, to let her redeem herself.

And all the while, her soul cried out for forgiveness.

He had watched her on the stand, sitting with poise and confidence as she recounted the judge's confession nearly word for word. He smiled inwardly; that was Eames, that was his Alex: she never let anything faze her on the job. He supposed it was one of the reasons that she was the first to stay with him for more than two months, the reason that they were still partners after so many years. But his gut instinct told him trouble was afoot when the defense lawyer had started his part of the cross examination. Goren's spine had stiffened in mutual response when the attorney had handed her a sheet of paper. Her normally calm face had turned ashen. Something had just gone horribly wrong.

She had looked at him at that moment, with fear and self-loathing. With her eyes, she had silently pleaded, begged him to forgive her. Her eyes had glistened slightly and it had puzzled him; but deep inside, a stab of hurt jabbed hard at his heart. He didn't know for sure from her disjointed words of protest; but he knew enough to guess why. As she read the bitter words of five years past, her distress had seeped into her strained, trembling voice, and he knew he was right. When she was done, her eyes had once again met his, seeking his forgiveness, apologizing for just being human.

He had not flinched away. She had stayed with him for all these years and had never made a move to leave. A part of the old hurt of being abandoned and branded as an outcast subsided a bit when she said that she had withdrew it of her own free will; but a new hurt swelled as he took in the subtle hints that she was on the edge of tears. He silently commanded Carver to get his partner off the stand, now, before her self-control cracked.

Knowing that she was watching his every expression, he did not dare to glare and glower at that slime ball of an excuse of a father. He did not want to give her the wrong impression that he was angry with her. Yes, he was hurt, but her actions had long ago proven her words to be false. Right now, his fury was directed at that double-timing bastard: How dare the man hurt Alex, how dare he? With great will, Bobby reined in his anger, burying it deep inside of his soul; she didn't need to see it.

He watched as she practically fled from the stand, disappearing back into the courtroom's witness waiting area. His hands fidgeted and twitched slightly as he waited impatiently for the court to be dismissed. He needed to see her, to gauge how she was doing. When the judge's gavel finally closed the session, he hurried out of the courtroom and into the bustling halls. He saw her, waiting for him, worry and concern etched on her features. He stepped over to her, still not quite knowing what to say.