* Kokurai – My Memory of You Keeps Fading

Chapter CXXX: Leo Argas

* Kokurai – My Memory of You Keeps Fading

It was oddly quiet.

The air was filled echoes of events that might as well belong to another dimension. They blended harmoniously with the soft breeze whispering in his ears. The only exception was a dry, almost rythmic note always accompagnied by a rough sensation under the sole of his feet. He paid particular attention to it. Because it was so different from every else he felt, somehow it seemed special. It came and went, and he expected it religiously, wishing it could be more evenly paced. At some point, out of the blue, it occurred to him that it was just the sound of walking.

At that moment, Leo snapped back to reality.

Yes, he was walking. One foot before the other, when that was possible; otherwise, he had to painstakingly raise his legs to cross gaps and bumps. The mansion's shattered remains had not gone anywhere, the mountains were still burning in every direction. There was a gap in his recent memories though. This time around, he wasn't surprised or horrified by it. All he could do was observe and accept that this was his state from now on. Or maybe his mind had become too numb to care.

In a way, it felt like he was just a wandering mind watching through the eyes of another. On other occasions though, the sharp pain shooting up his feet with every step would drag him closer to the present. His aching body complained through the slightest effort, another reason why he simply focused on moving forward.

"I had it coming..." His mouth was awfully parched. "I really pushed it this time..."

His encounter with Inheim could hardly be called a fight, yet it had demanded no small amount effort. Thank goodness his father had let him through: right now, anyone would be able to defeat Leo by giving him a light push. His condition when arriving in Fuyuki should have dissuaded him from straining himself further, but that was exactly what he had done. This was starting to sound familiar. Although, he wasn't particularly mad at himself.

Anger, doubt and fear - those things were gone.

Despite how heavy his limbs were, his heart was clear. The more his thoughts detached from the situation around him, the more he came to savour it. Yet at the same time, it felt a bit lonely.

It was oddly quiet...

"..."

His mind had blacked out again.

Leo only noticed when he blinked and mused that something was missing. It could have been a long time or blink. The scenery was still the same. At least his legs knew to keep going regardless, even with no one at the helm. Then again, perhaps he was wrong. What if he had been perfectly aware the whole time, and his memory was the one going down the drain?

Oh, well.

Did it matter at this point?

He couldn't stop, he had to keep pushing. It went against reason but the result wouldn't change regardless. His legs were the only ones driving him forward, even when stumbling upon obstacles or riskier paths. His arms were hanging to his sides, he couldn't feel any strength in them. Sometimes, he couldn't feel them at all.

So even if his knees were shaking, they had to be strong. Since he was already sore all over, he had subconsciously accepted the aching permeating his feet. His breathing had only gotten more erratic and his throat felt like it was on fire; still he only cared about moving onward.

"..."

Strangely, no one had found him ever since he had left Inheim behind. Leo had thought maybe he would meet Hatsuyo or his uncle, but there wasn't a single other living soul around him.

A shame.

He wanted to see them. He... wanted to talk with them, whatever it would be about. Just a while longer.

And there was Galahad too; his Servant must still be fighting for him. The idea of it filled him with warmth but also with sadness.

Was he winning right now?

Was he losing?

"...kh..."

Leo wished he could know, but his thoughts grew fuzzy the more he dwelled on it. Even though he could realistically talk with Galahad, it felt as fundamentally absurd to him as if someone had told him to fly.

None of them were here anyway.

Unlike them he didn't have anything to fight against, so Leo would keep going no matter what.

For them. For his own sake.

For... whom?

"..."

The gaps in his consciousness were popping up more frequently now. He had stopped trying to count them. If he didn't pay attention to it, he might not even notice, that's how little the way before him was changing. Still, he couldn't help noticing the phenomenon was increasing. Should he be vexed about it? A part of him was saying he should. It was infuriating to be stripped of time like this, even if it was by snippets.

He had so little now that all of it was precious to him.

"...When did I get here...?" Eventually, for once, he woke up in a place that looked different.

No, more importantly, something important had disappeared: his legs had come to a stop. Why? He had to keep going... if he rested for too long, he wouldn't find the strength to continue.

"Ah..."

Suddenly, it dawned on him: there was nowhere left to go.

One way or another, his steps had led him to the edge of the ruins. More specifically, he had found one of the star's branches, one that was more or less intact. Without thinking he had followed the stone ledge away from the hill. There was an end to it however, and it led nowhere. There were mountains inked black by the flames but he could only admire them. Aside from the broken pathway behind him, every direction was flooded by the mire. The only way to move along was turn back; that's the conclusion he came to, and yet his body didn't obey.

His eyes were fixated on something – not far from the end of this path, someone was waiting.

A titan made of curses incarnate and desperate craving.

After defeating its celestial opponent, the Unborn had simply stopped trying to attack the mansion. It didn't need to, no one was going to challenge it anymore. So instead, it crouched down and was content with observing the struggle of those who still didn't accept their fates. The way it was hunched over, with its arms passed around its knees and staring with attention, it reminded Leo of a child watching ants on the ground. With the difference in scale between them, it was hard not to feel like an ant.

Four bottomless eyes were locked onto the hill of ruins.

"..."

No.

In truth, they were looking at Leo.

The ant and the giant were exchanging a lethargic gaze. It was not a coincidence; the Unborn didn't look away from him even once. On the other hand, Leo was looking up with his mouth open, not knowing what to think or say. Everything was blank inside his head. It felt as though he was being pulled toward these empty eyes to be swallowed by them. Finally, after looking for a moment, he caught a glimpse of the golden cup floating above the Unborn's head.

So that's how it was.

He had reached his destination.

"It's a bit disappointing, you know...?"

He smiled bitterly at the gargantuan monstrosity that still stood between him and the Holy Grail. He had made it this far only to see such a disheartening sight. There had to be a god somewhere pointing and laughing at him.

A strong shiver ran across his spine.

When he looked down at his hands, he didn't understand why they were trembling so. Or rather, he knew perfectly well. It just took some time to accept it. The floor under him was trembling, the ruins and the tide were spinning subtly, but that was all in his mind. One by one, the signs were ringing the bell. He couldn't reject them anymore. He had made it this far, that was probably more than he could have ever asked for.

"_!"

But then, his train of thought was interrupted by someone's voice.

He didn't get what they were saying; his ears were getting worse as well.

With some difficulty, he looked around and saw a silhouette running his way. They looked like they were in a hurry to get to him. It made him strangely happy yet also confused. That person... her voice... her face...

Ah, so that's what it was.

Hatsuyo had found him after all.

Once he had a clearer view of her, he saw how panicked she was. But it really was her. At the same moment, he thought he heard Galahad's voice in his head.

Memories he shouldn't have forgotten flowed back in.

"..."

He had done it, hadn't he?

It had been so daunting, but he had made his way to the Ark. He had found Hatsuyo, he had finally spoken heart to heart with her. With Galahad, he had gotten through an incredible mess. They had done pretty fine all things considered; Leo wanted to laugh about it now. Together, they had carried on right to the very end. He had even gotten to settle things with his father after all.

In the end, he... he had truly kept living without a single regret.

"_ _ _!"

Hatsuyo was getting closer.

In contrast to her fear, Leo felt a big, dumb smile on his face.

Though, he felt like he should apologize. He wanted to stay with her. But it was too late.

The Unborn leaned forward with deep rumble. The skin of its face stretched and tore open where its mouth should be; mud overflowed and dripped down its chin like saliva.

Hatsuyo was reaching her hand to catch him. Leo wanted to grab it but his arm didn't move.

Everything was growing dark.

As the last embers of life left him, all Leo could tell was that he was falling.

The mud devoured him.