The morning of their departure arrives, and her one suggestion that they should get married before they leave has gone unanswered. She is dressed and bathed, and ready to go. Delphine doesn't share Cindy's excitement. That is for sure. Cindy had leased her apartment to the daughter or niece of that nice Irish woman that runs the café. Even when she chased them off her stoop, she was kind about it. And she would often give food after hours, if only a couple days a week.
She's packed, Delphine tells herself. She is packed and ready to go. She can do this. She can set off for who knows where with a bus full of hippies intent on buying a few acres of land. A few cars will be following the bus, but Michael has sold his, and pooled the money towards the purchase of their new… commune.
"Ready baby?" Michael asks her. As he leads her towards the bus. The emanating smell is marijuana unsurprisingly. And somehow.. Cindy is driving?
"Hi Delphine." Cindy waves. "Ready?"
"Yes." Delphine nods. She gets onto the old bus, painted with trees and flowers, hoping for the best. And she can hear Michael chattering away with his excitement.
"This is going to be amazing. The rest of our lives begin here!"
This is not how she wanted to hear those words. Not at all. Delphine sighs. Maybe Michael was simply not ready to marry anyone? Perhaps he wanted to…explore his options sexually. And that was something she was not prepared to put up with. It was too embarrassing to risk contracting VD. She'll stay a few weeks, maybe a month. And if Michael isn't ready to commit she'll go. But where?
She was not expecting to see Cosima waving at her from the back of the bus, a lit joint in one hand. Cosima is smiling and she finds herself drifting away from Michael to go sit with her. If Michael says anything of it, she barely hears him over the chaos.
"Cosima! What are you doing here?" Delphine sits down next to her. And stares. She hasn't seen Cosima in weeks. Not since she'd bought her that sandwich.
"I got sick of my job." Cosima shrugs. "I decided I needed a break for a bit. You know, hang out with some groovy hippies. See more of the country. Have an adventure… go get back to nature and all that."
"But… you need the money!"
"I'll get another job easily. When I get back. Computer girls are still in demand." Cosima smiles. "And… well… this could be fun."
"So… you're not… sticking it to the man like…"
"Like Michael? No." Cosima snorts as she takes another long drag on her joint. She drops her voice and looks almost behind Delphine. "I'm not sticking anything anywhere ." Cosima laughs at herself.
Delphine finds herself taken aback at first by the phrasing. "Are you high?"
"A little bit." Cosima concedes. "But it's just pot. It'll wear off."
"OK." Delphine extends her hand and takes the joint. She smokes, just a little. Something she is growing sick of. But she wants to feel a little less like herself.
"Hey… You don't have to." Cosima tells her, gently pulling the joint from her hand.
"I might as well." Delphine grumbles slowly. The bus jolts as it moves further away from the mess of the Haight-Ashbury. She counts two school buses, some painted in strange colours. And thinks there is no way this crowd of people can survive outside of San Francisco. This will be brief, Delphine tells herself. Michael and her will be back in San Francisco, or even Boston before Christmas. Maybe then he'll be ready to settle down. To turn their attention to practical matters - such as marrying so she won't be deported.
Cosima takes another drag, regarding her curiously.
"Delphine." Michael summons her back to sit with him. "Where'd you go?"
"I have to go." Delphine whispers softly. She gives Cosima's hand a squeeze, an unspoken promise to talk to her later.
She sits next to Michael, his arm around her as he puffs away on his own joint. At least he won't suggest they make love on the bus. She sees a few other couples doing so, but can no longer catch sight of Cosima. She isn't sure how many uncomfortable hours they drive for. Only that they're all let out along the highway to relieve themselves and eat.
Delphine walks around aimlessly, as Michael talks to several people excitedly. She can only feign so much excitement, and as her lover is distracted she looks for Cosima. Unable to understand why Cosima has joined in on this mess. Had she misread her? Or is Cosima simply looking for adventure as she said?
Cosima is laughing with two other women, dancing not far from the bus. They wave their arms and move their hips. Dancing with no music at all. A few families, with children no older than five stumble off the other bus.
"That's the leader. Patrick." Michael tells her, approaching from behind. "He is big into sustainable living, creating culture… We're part of the new world babe."
Delphine hums back. She observes the man, no older than 35, bearded, with what seems to be a wife and two small sons. How was he so normal in comparison to Michael?
"Where are we going again? Where are we buying the land?"
"Doesn't matter. We're making our own world! Maps and borders are meaningless." Michael tells her, brushing off her question.
Delphine continues to wander through the next three exhausting days, sleeping upright on a bus next to Michael was constantly uncomfortable. And she wonders why any sane person would partake in this journey? People sing, or play music. Others talk the drive away.
Occasionally she drifts towards Cosima, who seems very capable of keeping herself entertained. Cosima was always seemingly happy to see or speak to her. The little they got to during the ride. But Michael is always quick to demand she return to his side. Which she does. She has to.
They were going east, Delphine figures. But how far east? No one seemed to want to talk about the specifics of the plan. Though several women were hinting they would need warmer clothes come winter. North and east… so many places were north and east of California. It didn't give her much to go on. And her knowledge of American geography was limited.
On several stops, supplies are purchased. Blankets. Heavier coats. Tools and seeds. All for their new life. And it's crazy. Delphine shakes her head, even as Michael is showing off an axe. He has never held one before in his life, Delphine surmises quickly. And the whole thing is a ridiculous farce. This can never last.
Finally, Delphine gets the sense that the voyage is nearly over. And Michael having fallen asleep a few hours ago, stands and makes her way to the back of the bus to talk to Cosima. Cosima is awake, leaning against the cool window. Seemingly calm.
"Where are we?" Delphine asks. Even as they are stopping somewhere. And is this it? Or is there longer still to go?
"Vermont." Cosima speaks quietly. "Somewhere between Stannard and Hardwick. They bought 55 acres of land. I think… several old homesteads fall into it. So good news, we'll move into those houses. Should save us this winter. But they'll probably need repair. And only two or three people here have carpentry experience. Though a few people here grew up on farms. So that is good. For survival. I have been trying to get a good handle on what these folks are capable of."
"Did you know? Vermont?"
"Yeah. Cindy told me that that is what was decided four days ago. Big on farming, growing apples… They want to be self-sufficient. We'll see how long they allow drug use." Cosima laughs into her hand.
"Michael wouldn't say. Perhaps because we will be…close to home." Delphine comes up with her own theory.
"Home for him."
"Yes." Delphine nods. Or was it something deeper? Some delusion or disconnect with reality?
The bus doors open and about half of the bus climbs out. It is beautiful, Delphine acknowledges looking around. She can finally understand at least some of why someone might want to do this. There is a large wooden farmhouse, and she thinks, at least they will have shelter. The sun is rising, and there's not much time, Delphine thinks. Before Michael is up and running her around the property in an attempt to further sell her on his dream.
"It is beautiful." Cosima echoes her thoughts.
Delphine nods, and looks towards Cosima who seems very sober once again. Maybe it will be good to have a friend. Particularly one who can drive, Delphine wonders if Cosima can before she gets distracted by increasing activity.
Cindy is already at work, arguing with several men about housing. "No. The families need to go into the largest house. Which is this one. We cannot have children sleeping on buses. And repair needs to be there first."
"Why not men?"
"Single men can sleep on the bus." Cindy is firm, crossing her arms. "I was told that there are three houses on the property. But they're spread out. Single women need somewhere too… We will have to work out arrangements that work."
"You're from California." One of the men scoffs.
"Yes. Which is why I know winter will be a problem." Cindy points out. And Delphine finds she's never respected Cindy more. "We'll need people cutting wood for winter, that is how we have to heat these homes. It's well water… We will have to get rhythms of existing here."
"She's practical." Cosima nods. "I know Cindy. If she's getting involved, this will work. As long as she stays sober."
"You think so?" Delphine looks at Cosima. It would be good to have company.
"Yes. For… a lot of these people though… the more of them who have reasonable skills the better." Cosima looks around. "Some of them… won't make it. Some will."
"But you think it will work?" Delphine lowers her voice. She has been counting on this being a failure of epic proportions. One that will jarr Michael back to reality and back to Massachusetts.
"Oh definitely." Cosima nods. "I have been listening, and I am hearing things that aren't just ' free love and tripping '. I am hearing political ideals and a lot about farming and pesticide free food… sustainability…"
"Nice to have you with us." Cindy comments upon hearing her. "I have been organizing with Judith, Patrick's wife. We have to have plans. And to do that effectively… I have to be sober. At least most of the day."
"Patrick." Delphine repeats. She remembers meeting the man.
"We're going to have a lot of work." Cosima says softly to her. Delphine looks to her, wondering what made Cosima do this. What drove a successful programmer to this? Beyond being a weekend-hippie deep into the movement? Far too deep, in Delphine's opinion.
Michael is up within an hour, but he doesn't take her anyway. He hangs onto Bill's every word and clutches her by the hand.
"We have a lot of hard work to do." Patrick emphasizes in his speech, which Delphine finds is no different than any of his other speeches. Judith and Cindy seem to be doing most of the organizing. They get the families settled into the largest farmhouse. Use paper maps to direct people.
By the end of the day Michael is excitedly chopping down trees and participating. While Delphine has been requisitioned by Cindy to help assign sleeping areas. There are several outhouses. But the sinks in the houses work, albeit with a pump for the well.
Having been assigned with testing them, Delphine is relieved when she sees water filling the sink. She lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding.
"There's a small house near the back of the property." Cindy tells her. "Patrick and Judith will be in the big house with the other families. "So I was thinking you and Michael could share with Bill and I. At least temporarily. We'll see if we can let another couple join in. And then the larger dwelling will house more couples. The singles are a little trickier."
"Yes." Delphine agrees. She wonders where Cosima will go. There were only a handful of seemingly unattached women.
"We'll start building more houses. Bill has this idea of a triangular lodge… something that could house several couples and their children." Cindy dreams aloud. "I think if we get enough trees cut we'll be able to get the framework in before winter."
Delphine counts 41 adults. And 9 children belonging to four different couples. Judith and a few of her friends have made some kind of soup in several large pots over the fire. And a few assigned people, mostly men, would be doing supply runs in the next several days. Delphine tries to take it in, tries to remember all the details. But the plans seem to change one hour to the next. And then she finds herself in a conversation about goats, and how many goats they need to purchase versus cows. And how many crops they could grow. Soybeans. Wheat. Barley. Corn…
"We'll be raising families here…" Cindy muses. "So different from California… but so much great work, great philosophy is coming out of Vermont. We all have to work though, even those among us who would rather write poetry about it… like my Bill."
"Mmm." Delphine hums unenthusiastic.
"Judith is already pregnant." Cindy tells her. "Not far along yet, but… the first baby will be born here in the spring. It'll be pretty perfect."
Delphine disagrees, but takes up her sleeping quarters with Michael that evening. He is sweaty and exhausted, but sober enough to initiate lovemaking. Which she allows, trying to be quiet so as to not disturb the others sleeping nearby. It isn't comfortable. A few blankets tossed upon the floor. But she tolerates his attentions, stroking his hair afterwards. Wondering how she could make this reality more… tolerable. She hears Bill and Cindy doing the same, through a thin wooden wall, and tries to ignore it.
She wakes in the night and dresses, she steps outside to find the sky more full of stars than she can remember seeing. Near the house there's a shadow, someone else watching the stars too. And perhaps, a few months of this before Michael comes to his senses, won't be so terrible at all. It will all make for an excellent story, much later.