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The Zutara Family

Summary: Following the struggles of Katara and Zuko as they have a family (nine kids) and Zuko decides with his taking the throne...

Rating: K+ or T

Major Characters: Katara (27), Zuko (29), and kids (oldest to youngest as they'll come): Heishui, Little Zuko (Lil' Z as kids call him), Zarina and Zerifina, Jailia, Kaelea, Annalea, Kiki, and Heziah.

Pairings: Katara/Zuko, Toph/Aang, and Sokka/Suki and family relationships

P.O.V.: Third Person Omniscient


Regrets

Katara rolled over in bed and felt the spot next to her.

It was empty again.

She sighed and laid a hand on her three month belly. She bit her lower lip to bite back the tears that were starting to come again.

This would have been the fourth time that week that Zuko hadn't been in bed with her. Hadn't eaten and probably hadn't had a good night's sleep.

The Fire Lord duties were running him dry and tired, and Katara read it all over his face. She only wished that she could have taken back everything she had said about him taking the position. She missed him, and was getting tired of trying to take care of Heishui alone.

Sure, Sokka helped, but he had his own daughter to take care of. Naimne was as every bit of him as ever, and she was a handful to grasp. Still, Katara loved her neice just the same.

Katara sat up and stripped the sheets off her, getting out of bed and walking towards Zuko's study, where she knew for a surefire fact that's where he'd be.

She stopped at the door and sighed deeply. She then opened the door, only to find Zuko and Iroh at Zuko's usual table. "Hi,"she said quietly, stepping on the opposite side of Zuko. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"No," Zuko shook his head, but didn't tear his eyes away from the papers in front of him for even a spare minute. "What's wrong?"

"Can't you take a break, Babe?" Katara asked. "Come to bed for a little while? You're tired."

Zuko shook his head again. "Sorry, Katara. Not tonight. Maybe--"

"Tomorrow night?" Katara shot, hands on her hips. "Zuko, you've been telling me that for the past four nights!" She paused, feeling the tears well again. "I barely see you anymore."

Guilt surrounded the Firebender and he looked up at Katara. "Now you see why I didn't want this?" he asked, standing up. "Now you see why I told you the reasons why?"

Katara nodded. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to pressure you into it! I'm just tired of not seeing you!" She hugged him. "I miss you." She thought fast. "If you still don't want it, you don't have to do it!"

Zuko sent a look to Iroh, in which he caught and left the two alone. "Katara..." Zuko held her at arm's length. "I can't turn back now, you understand that?"

Katara shook her head. "I don't believe what I'm hearing! You didn't want this! Now you're practically feeding off it!" She bit her lip again. "Two days ago, Toph told me how she feels as though her and Aang are drifting farther and farther away from each other. And I never thought twice about that to myself and to my own life until tonight. I feel like I barely know you anymore," she gently touched his cheek. "Like you're not even there."

Zuko closed his eyes and felt a lump rising in his throat. He hadn't cried since his mother left, and wasn't planning on doing it now. "Katara..."

"Please," Katara begged. "Stop overworking yourself. Tell your sister to help you some. Take your place for a while if she has to. Nobody needs to know!" Tears streamed down her face and Zuko's heart cracked. "You haven't slept and you've barely eaten!" Katara continued. "You're falling apart...and I hate it."

Immediately, Zuko felt like his father. The feeling he never wanted to have. The whole reason why he was trying to avoid being Fire Lord. The whole reason why he married Katara apart from deeply loving her. "I..." he couldn't talk. Katara had cornered him and he didn't have a way out. "Sorry."

That was all he could manage. "Sorry," he mumbled again.

"Why? For what?"

"I feel so stupid," Zuko turned away, but Katara was not going to give up so easily.

"Tell me, Zuko! Tell me what's wrong!" she begged. "Why do you feel that way?" She paused. "I can help you."

"I never wanted this. I didn't want to feel like my father!" Zuko slammed his fist on the table. "I wanted a normal marriage and family without rule!" Hot, angry tears leaked their way out in the corner of his eyes.

And Katara saw them.

"Zuko...you're nothing like Ozai." She hugged him. "NOTHING like him."

"I feel like it," Zuko told her, allowing the tears to run. "I feel so rotten."

Katara thought. "You want to know something? I love you no matter what happens to us. I married the greatest man in the world, and we have a beautiful little boy. We're going to have the family you never had like you told me," she said. "I don't care if you rule or not. I just want you to be there...always."

The words hit Zuko like a thousand daggers and he couldn't argue with her. "I don't know, Katara. I just--I don't know what to make of everything right now."

"We will," Katara said, not letting go of him. "We will."


Toph sighed as she tried to get Akito to go back to sleep. He was a fussy one, and it usually took him a long time to fall back asleep.

Her mind was on her and Aang again. She couln't shake the bad feelings she'd been having. The feelings of loneliness and emptiness. She couldn't figure it out.

But Aang sensed it.

"Toph?"

"Hmm?" she laid Akito back into his bed once he finally let his eyes drop and turned to her husband. She had a sinking feeling in her heart, but tossed it aside.

"Want to tell me what's wrong?" Aang asked as Toph laid back into bed, her back turned to him. "Why are you so--distant? Is something wrong?"

"No," Toph lied. "Everything's fine."

"Stop lying to me," Aang said sternly. "I hate it when you do this! I hate it when you block me out of--"

Toph shot up and yelled in his face. "I hate it too!"

Aang was taken aback. He could only stare at Toph; watch her tears fall. He couldn't say anything...there was nothing to say. He could only utter her name, "Toph."

"I hate acting like this! I hate us fighting!" Toph took a breath. "And I can't explain the empty feeilng inside me! I can't get rid of it, either!"

Aang took her gently into his arms, and she surprisingly didn't reject the action. "Toph, I can't say much about the empty feeling, but I want to know why you feel lonely."

Toph shook her head. "I don't know why, Twinkle Toes. I have everything I could ever want, but I can't get rid of this empty hole in my heart. It feels like I'm missing something."

Aang thought. She had him, Tiani, Akito, and Taru. What more could she want?

It then hit him. Toph could only want two things: either to wish that she could see, as it was that subject was slwoly eating away at her every day, or she wanted another baby.

But...that was the problem, right? Not seeing their kids? Why would Toph want another one? The question seemed to stump the Avatar and he couldn't sort out the motives for that.

"Toph, can you tell me something?" Aang held his wife at arm's length.

Toph nodded. "Yes."

"I know you don't like to have much, but in your life, there are only two things you really ever could want more than anything else. One of which is to see. The other one is to have another baby to fill that gap," Aang told her. "I want to know what one it is. Because to me, it seems like the whole problem is that you can't--"

"I know," Toph cried. "I know it's stupid that I can't see them and I want another one! But I do! I can't explain it!" She laid her head on Aang's shoulder. "I'm sorry!"

Aang shook his head. "No, Toph. It's okay." He thought. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

"I couldn't."

This struck the Airbender as odd. "Why not?"

"I was scared that you'd say 'no'," Toph said.

Aang couldn't help but to laugh. "Toph, you know me. I'm a kid person."

At that moment, Tiani walked in, followed closely behind by Suki. "Sorry, but she woke up, crying because of a nightmare." She smiled. "I figured that I'd get her for you."

Aang smiled back and picked up Tiani, who was holding hard onto her blanket. "Thanks, Suki."

Suki shrugged. "No problem. I better go check back with Niamne. She's sick again and Sokka's with her." She rolled her eyes. "His nerves are forever running on and on about it. Worried as ever."

Aang and Toph couldn't help but to laugh, and when Suki said her goodnight, Aang handed Tiani to Toph.

Toph kissed her daughter's forehead and rocked her gently. "Have a bad dream?"

"Yes," Tiani mumbled.

Toph smiled and ruffled her black hair. "You're okay now. Mommy and Daddy are here."

Aang smiled at the scene in front of him and couldn't believe that Toph felt as though she was missing something. But still, if another baby was what Toph wanted, then another baby was what she would get.

Even if she couldn't see him or her any more than she could Tiani or Akito and Taru...


"Shh, it's okay, Daddy's right here," Sokka kissed Niamne's forehead and paced slowly around her bedroom.

Niamne had red/brown hair and her daddy's bright blue eyes. Her skin was usually dark like Sokka's, but was now pale. She was sick with another cold, and Suki and Sokka were doing their best to help her feel better.

Niamne clung to Sokka for all it was worth to her and she shuddered slightly. Sokka wrapped his arms around her small body a little tighter, yet still soft. "Shh, it's okay, Niam. Mommy's coming."

Suki had appeared within moments of him saying that and she felt her daughter's forehead. "She's still warm, huh?"

Sokka nodded and ra his fingers through Niamne's shoulder-length hair. "Yeah, I tried to cool her down, but she gets cold and shivers."

"Has she been able to keep any drink down?" Suki asked, smilng at her daughter.

"Not really. I tried giving her some water earlier and she almost threw up," Sokka sighed, hoisting his daughter up a little higher.

Suki nodded and looked at her husband's worried expression. "It's okay, Sokka," she said, giving him a gentle kiss. "It's just a routine cold."

"I don't know..." Sokka looked worriedly at Naimne. "She doesn't act like it's just a 'routine cold'."

Suki rolled her eyes. "Trust me, Hon. She'll be fine within a couple of days, a week at the most." She gave her daughter a light kiss. "She just needs rest and fluids."

Sokka nodded, but still couldn't get rid of his sinking feeling as he laid Niamne back into her bed. As soon as he laid her down, she reached for him and started crying and the warrior's heart broke. "All right, Angel. Shh," he knelt by her bed and stroked her hair.

Suki smiled and went to her bedroom, knowing that Sokka would enjoy the time with Niamne alone.

"S'okay, Niamne," Sokka told her gently. "It'll be okay. Daddy's not leaving you."

Niamne whimpered, "I hurt."

"Show Daddy where," Sokka lifted her out of bed and sat her in his lap in a nearby chair.

"Eberywewre," Naimne mumbled.

Sokka's mind swam, but he didn't show his fear to his daughter. "Aw, okay. Let's go find Mommy, okay?"

Niamne nodded and Sokka took her into his and Suki's bedroom, where Suki was lying in bed, but not yet asleep. "Suki," Sokka sat on his side of the bed with Niamne. "Suki, I need you."

Suki turned around and looked at him. "What's wrong?"

"Niamne says she hurts," Sokka told her.

"Where?" Suki sat up.

"Everywhere," Sokka looked at her, worry filling his tone.

Suki's heart sank and she took Niamne. "Hey, Baby. Tell Mommy what's wrong?"

"I hurt and no feel gwood," Niamne replied weakly.

Sokka and Suki only stared at each other, both hearts sinking and Sokka's mind racing with no stopping any time soon. His worst fear as a dad had come true and he didn't know what to make of it.

He didn't know what to do.


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