Disclaimer: CONAN IS NOT MINE!
Yes… so the time has come. Conan finally makes his first "move", but it doesn't seem like Haibara's willing to let him get away with it! Please read and tell me what you think!
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Silent Life
Chapter Ten
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"Y-You're getting carried away… just because I taught you how to sing one phrase doesn't mean anything…" Haibara mumbled, her brain screaming for her to stop, but her heart begging her to just stay there in his warm embrace. Where had all her control gone? The red stain on her cheeks wouldn't go away!
"Actually… I really think that… I don't know how… maybe…" he stared into her eyes, and for a moment she thought that he would kiss her, but his cell phone rang. What happened next was far too much to be a coincidence, and so Haibara took it as a sign from God that she should stop all this nonsense... immediately.
Conan frowned, frustrated at his phone's bad timing, but answered it nevertheless. "Moshi moshi? I'm sorry, but whoever this is I'm a bit busy right… Ran? I-I mean Ran-neechan! How've you… been…" He trailed off as his gaze turned to the strawberry blonde standing next to him. Haibara read confusion in his eyes and decided to make it easy for him.
"Sorry Conan-kun, I have to go now. Bye bye," and she walked away, leaving a torn Edogawa Conan… Kudou Shinichi standing there, alone, in the karaoke room… with his… beloved on the phone…?
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"Ah! Ai-kun, you're home early… I thought you said you'd be spending the entire day out?" Agasa smiled at his adopted daughter. "And, how did reviewing lines with Shinichi go?"
Haibara propped herself up in front of the stoves and promptly began making dinner, "How well can reviewing lines go? We said them, finished, and left."
"But I heard from Ayumi-chan that you guys went out for some karaoke as well," he chuckled. "How did that go? She seemed quite distressed since the Detective Boys left before the two of you did."
"I left shortly afterwards," she sniffed. Deciding that the rice could use a bit more seasoning, she hopped down from the stool and tried to reach the cupboard, which was, of course, much too high for a child her age. Haibara cursed, "Why couldn't I have been a tall seven year old?"
Prof. Agasa reached up handed her the small bottle for her. "Ai-kun… are you feeling alright today? You seem a bit more… impatient than usual." He stared at her intently until she finally looked away from his gaze. "Ai-kun?"
"To tell you the truth, I'm a bit tired. You can cook fried rice without burning the house down, right? I'm trusting you, hakase," she turned to leave, but the elderly man held her back. "Ai-kun," he said. "Are… you okay?"
"I am fine, hakase," she shrugged his hand off, something she had never done before… she had never been cold to the professor before. She gave him an almost apologetic look before leaving, and he understood. "I'll leave you alone then."
"… thank you."
Haibara sat onto her bed, somehow exhausted from doing absolutely nothing. Not that teaching Kudou how to sing was easy. Realizing that her train of thought had once again landed upon the treaded topic of Conan, she fought to keep the blush that was itching to spread onto her face from surfacing.
Besides, he had just been caught up in the moment… hadn't seen his precious Ran in too long… was just feeling a little lonely because he wasn't used to being so far away from her. She was just a temporary stand-in to him, after all. If anything, she should be offended and demand that Conan apologize immediately… but..
She shut her eyes and sighed, trying to control the painful feeling squeezing her heart. It had felt so good… even… dare she say, better than how it had been with Shuichi? But what she had with Shuichi had been real, hadn't it? If that was how a relationship was supposed to feel, then what exactly did she feel for Kudou?
… emotions are so stupid. If she didn't have emotions, then these questions wouldn't be frustrating her.
Even with Shuichi, she had always had a reign on exactly what she was allowed to feel. Back in the organization, there had been limits… was it because she was no longer there that she had lost her touch? Or was it that there was something just so very special about the wannabe Holmes?
Haibara opened her eyes. Valentine's Day was coming up.
(i.e. I realize that with the festival and Valentine's Day, the dates are out of order, but please bear with me.)
Why had such a thought crossed her mind? Valentine's Day was never a question. It was a day filled with the color she hated the most. Pink. Well, she couldn't really say that later… Sherry, after all, was her choice wine, and the blood-red color suited her, but pink just didn't cut it.
Should I…?
No… she couldn't possibly even be considering getting… for… him…?
"UGH!" Haibara's scream was muffled by the pillow she had buried her face into. "I'm going to go to sleep… just sleep on it…"
"Ne, ne…. Ai-chan, what did you and Conan-kun do after we left?" the small child was still torn between being a supportive friend and being a rival in love.
Ah, the bliss of innocent youth… of course, something she'd never had. Smiling at the brunette calmly, Haibara merely shrugged, "Not much… I left too not long after. Ran-san called." Leaving this comment for the cute little Ayumi to ponder, she walked coolly to her seat and promptly began to drift off into sleep. Last night, she hadn't gotten any… even though she desperately wanted to… the thoughts revolving around Shinichi were getting difficult to handle…
"Morning," Conan put his backpack down on his desk and sat down next to her. Her first thought was to simply ignore him, but the troubled look on his face made her reconsider. "Look…" he opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off. "It's okay. I understand, don't worry about it, okay?"
"No! That's not what I meant," he seemed very frustrated, and her blue eyes regarded him almost curiously, not something they did very often. She gave him a sympathetic look, "Don't worry about it… our 'going out' can end right now… it was just a joke to begin with anyway. The Detective Boys would be only too happy to find that out… Ran-san will probably find it cute… what did she say to you yesterday?"
He shook his head furiously, that hadn't been it either. "I…" he grasped her hands in his and stared helplessly into her eyes. "I… don't know…"
Hope surged into her heart… maybe… just maybe there was a chance for them was what her heart was praying… but her mind told her otherwise. Comfortingly, she loosened his grip on her hands and pulled away. "Kudou-kun, you simply haven't seen Ran-san in a long time… don't worry about it. Something you've had for years and years isn't simply going to fade away… didn't you feel better when you heard her voice yesterday?"
Why she was being so gentle with him she had no idea… it was not like her… but then it wasn't like her to fall in love so easily. "Ai…" he whispered, and then looked down again. "Uh, I mean, Haibara…"
"You can call me Ai if you'd like… or Shiho… or whatever," she said. As soon as the words came out, she wanted to slap herself in the face. Where had that come from? It was definitely not a good move if she was trying to get him to go back to Ran… which was what she wanted… right? "Um… at the very least we can be good friends, okay?"
A smile lit onto his face. "You're acting very strange today… Ai… call me Conan… or Shinichi…" his voice became husky as he said his real name, and she felt a blush spread onto her cheeks, but she held it back. "You're one to talk," she retorted. "It's not often I decide to be nice, so don't take advantage of it."
He shrugged, and that movement seemed to make her feel better. Conan was acting normally again. "So," she leaned back into her chair. "What did she call you for?"
"Oh…" his gaze trailed away from her face and onto the ground. Bad sign. "Um… she's coming back to visit in a few days."
Never mind. Good sign.
"That's nice," without realizing it, she had become distant once again, and immediately, he grabbed her hands, not wanting her to block her emotions away. "Shiho… I still don't know exactly how I'm feeling but…"
Normally, she would have felt happy… elated, even, that he had called her by her real name… all her life, the only person who really called her by her real name had been her sister… and Shuichi. If she was Haibara Ai, then she was Sherry. But today, even this only made her feel just a tiny bit better… the thought that she would be coming back seemed to ruin her dream vacation with Conan. Not that any of it would have meant anything in the end anyway.
"Listen to me, Kudou." Shinchi flinched at the sudden, cold formality. "Listen good. What you are experiencing now is something known commonly as loneliness. It happens to everyone, and even though you're Sherlock Holmes of this new age, even you experience it as well. Try and control yourself… don't go looking for everyone and everything that might bring you some comfort. You think of me… at best, as a friend. Trust me."
When he looked as if he were about to protest, she cut him off, "I've been working on the antidote… I have a new model that'll let you stay older for about the same time as before… just with less pain and fewer side effects. It would be best if you talked to her a bit… you were the one that asked her to wait for you… remember the night before she left?"
Her comment seemed to still him for a moment, and that was all she needed, as the teacher walked into the classroom and they rose to bow. During the entire class, she firmly ignored every poke, every whisper, every pleading gaze thrown her way, and by the end of school, he seemed quite subdued.
Unable to bear the silence any longer, Conan pulled on Haibara's sleeve, signaling her to pull back from their group of friends walking home. "Oi… Haibara…" he mumbled, face turning just a little red. "Are you sure about what you said earlier? Because I think… I think that I might really…"
"Stop right there," she placed a finger coolly onto his lips, cutting his sentence off. "I don't want to hear anymore nonsense coming from you. Just trust me and get a good night's rest. When Ran-san comes over, then you'll see what I mean." He opened his mouth, about to say something else, and she sighed. "My patience can only wear so thin, Kudou."
Trust me. Those words weren't words that Shiho used often, and Conan knew this… and yet she had repeatedly said it multiple times that day. He shouldn't ask for too much… just trust her.
"Okay… on one condition though."
"And what is that?" she threw him a tired look.
He merely grinned cheekily at her in reply, "Call me Shinichi."
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To Be Continued…
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