Will Jatsuma ever learn? Probably not.
ON TO THE GAME!
Razor tightened the red sash around her waist as she finished the last knot; it was good to be back in her normal clothes. Then she sat down on the branch of the tree she had made her home. Her school uniform was handing from a higher branch and her bag was fastened around the branch next to her. Razor reached into it a dug around for a few coins so she could go buy something to eat. There wasn't much to hunt in this park besides squirrels.
Razor sighed loudly as she pulled the coins out. I shouldn't have told Jatsuma anything. She thought angrily. I guess I thought he might get off my back if I just told him what he wanted to know. But now he's avoiding me. She jumped out of the tree with the coins in her pocket. Of course he wouldn't want to be associated with someone with such a shameful past. Who would? But he's so dishonorable himself. He didn't seem like the kind to care. Argh! She started stomping down the pathway. "Good! I'm glad he's finally leaving me alone! Everything worked out just the way I wanted it to!" She snapped to no one in particular.
Right at that moment the wind blew a piece of paper into the side of her face. Razor pulled it away angrily and was about to throw it away, except that she recognized the people on it. She flattened it out and saw a picture of Mascara and Luffa fighting on the front. The title read, 'Come see these girls duke it out over Jatsuma Saotome tonight at seven! Remember, one will need a shoulder to cry on when the night is over!'
She tightened her grip on the paper and gritted her teeth. "What the hell?"
AT BUNRAKU HIGH'S SOCCER FIELD
The stands were packed to bursting unsurprisingly with a predominately male audience. People were elbow to elbow, trying to get a look at the field, even though it was still half an hour until Luffa and Mascara were scheduled to fight. Some people didn't even know there was supposed to be a soccer game afterwards.
"Coach, shouldn't we be warming up?" One of the soccer players asked Coach Oshiro on the sidelines of the field.
Coach Oshiro was grinning maliciously at the team sitting on the opposite side of the field. Their big guy in the shark costume looked sulky. "Don't you see them writhe? We've already won! HA!"
"Well… their team's pretty tough." The boy spoke up again.
"It's all about morale, my boy! Morale! And theirs is pretty low right now!" Oshiro laughed.
"Mr. Oshiro!" Mascara came over wearing a cheerleading outfit identical to Luffa's. She looked slightly self-conscious. "Why do I have to wear this? I'm not a cheerleader."
"It's all about morale, dear girl!" Oshiro patted her on the back.
Mascara looked confused. "I don't get it."
"Just get out there and fight for your man! GO!" He pushed her out to the field. "But wait until seven when everyone's here!" He called after her.
Mascara grumbled angrily as she made her way to her goal, between the stands on either side of the field. Luffa was standing in front of the goal on the opposite side the field.
"Give me an L! U! F! Another F! A! What does that spell?" Luffa cheered towards the stands.
"LUFFA!" They answered enthusiastically.
April, May and June stood next to the goal waving their pompoms. "L! U! F! F! A!" They cheered.
"Who's gonna win this match?" Luffa cheered as she jumped into the air while spinning her batons.
"LUFFA!" The crowd shouted again.
"RIGHT!" She landed with her legs spread across the ground and her arms in the air, a move that would have injured a lesser being. The audience cheered enthusiastically, popcorn flying.
"Guess you didn't fall from grace after all." Yukio grinned as he spoke to Jatsuma from their seats on the front row.
"You got that right!" Jatsuma took a slurp of his soda as he let his right leg hang over the arm rest of the leather recliner he was sitting in. Someone had hauled it out here to the stands on the front row. It was so crazy here that Jatsuma couldn't remember who. He was also wearing a plastic golden crown like the one employee's wore at McBurger Queen. But as far as Jatsuma was concerned, he was a king in his throne.
"Man, Jatsuma! You sure are lucky!" The boy on the other side of him said excitedly. "I wish hot girls would fight over me!"
"Well, it's a heavy burden but someone has to bear it." He took another sip of his soda. "Who am I kidding? THIS ROCKS!" The other boys around him laughed loudly. "Just don't drool on my chair." Jatsuma kicked up the foot rest and leaned back the recliner with a smirk on his face.
"Let's hear it for Jatsuma! The pimping prince of Bunraku High!" Yukio held up his soda. "HEAR! HEAR!" The other boys laughed in agreement.
Higher in the stands Jatsuma's mother was glared down in his direction. Akane turned to Ranma angrily. "'Let him have his moment' you said! Do you see how he's acting?"
"I didn't know he'd be wearing a crown!" Ranma protested. Then he looked down at Jatsuma and sighed in exasperation. "That boy's grounded the secant we get home."
"Oh, go easy on him." Genma said with his mouth full of half a hotdog. "This kind of attention doesn't last for the Saotome line. I was quite the lady killer myself when I was young."
"Really?" Soun sat next to Genma with a stick of cotton candy and a bag of popcorn in his hands. "I must have missed that part." He took a bite of his popcorn as Genma glared at him.
"The POINT is…" Genma continued. "We never grounded you two for the trouble you got into with romance."
"Well that's because all the fighting and confusion was its own punishment! He's not supposed to be enjoying himself!" Ranma explained to his father heatedly.
Genma shrugged. "It's not his fault you couldn't appreciate a good thing."
"I'll so you a good thing!" Ranma shouted threateningly.
"Don't fight here!" Akane yelled. "You'll cause a riot! I've never seen the place this packed."
"Excuse me! Sorry!" Makoto made her way though the mass of people towards the bench in front of her family that they were saving. She had Iikiba by the arm and was pulling him along, and Iikiba had his father, Ryoga, by the arm. Their human chain made it to the bench in once piece. "Argh! You can barely breathe in there!" Makoto gasped as she took her seat. Iikiba and Ryoga took seats next to her, looking very frazzled.
"WHAT IS WITH ALL THESE PEOPLE?" Iikiba yelled in frustration. "They are very rude!"
"I think I got the middle finger about five times on our way up here!" Ryoga gaped.
"Oh no!" Makoto looked around. "Did we lose Daichi?"
"I only let go of him for a moment!" Ryoga shouted defensively. "There was this horrible little boy making faces at people! Then he kicked me and gave me the middle finger! I made a grab for him but he got away! WHAT ARE PEOPLE TEACHER THEIR KIDS NOW A DAYS? I ASK YOU?"
"I'm pretty sure I learned how to give the bird from you, Dad." Iikiba commented. "Yeah, me too." Makoto agreed.
"Well thanks for sacrificing my kid to a human stampede so you could beat up a little kid, Ryoga!" Ranma said sarcastically from the bench behind them.
"Alright, alright! I'll go find him!" Ryoga got up to squeeze through the crowd, but Ranma grabbed the back of his shirt to keep him in his seat.
"Ryoga, do you honestly think you can fine anything… ever?" Ranma asked, keeping a grip on Ryoga's shirt. Ryoga gritted his teeth and looked like he was about to say something really nasty, but Akane spoke then.
"Just stay where you are, Ryoga." Akane said as she stood up from her seat. "I'll go find him. Just stay put." She smiled kindly. "Ranma, be nice!" She yelled at her husband as she pushed through the mob of people. Ranma rolled his eyes.
"Look at him down there!" Iikiba said to Makoto as he looked down the stands at Jatsuma in disgust. The boys were having another toast. "That jerk thinks he's so great just because a lot a girls like him. I'd kick his butt and show them all he's not that great if I had the chance!" He clutched his fist. "Stupid jerk."
Makoto just smiled shrewdly and linked her arm in his. "Sorry Mascara lost her crush on you. That's how it goes, huh?" She sounded like she was trying to hold back a laugh.
"She has not lost her crush on me! This is just… just Amazon business!" Iikiba yelled irritably.
Makoto scowled and glared at him. "Stop being jealous of Jatsuma! Mascara wasn't that great!"
"WHAT? I'm not jealous of him! And Mascara was way better than you! Pfft!" He stuck his tongue out at Makoto.
"You can be such a jerk!" Makoto shouted as she grabbed Iikiba in a half nelson headlock from behind, and then proceeded to crick his neck and back out of place.
"AHH! Makoto! Let go!" Iikiba kicked his feet frantically.
"Take it back!" Makoto shouted.
"Never!"
"Hey! Watch it buddy!" A man on the row in front of them turned around when he had been knocked in the back of the head, only to get Iikiba's foot in the face.
"Children! Please calm down!" Soun shouted from behind them. People turned around and started shouting for them to sit still, the place was crowded enough without them moving around so much. So Soun took his soda and spilled it overtop of their heads.
"That aught to do it." Genma commented, looking down at the little capuchin monkey and fuzzy black chihuahua at had been his granddaughter and her boyfriend. "Ranma! Get off your butt and do some parenting!" Genma shouted at his son.
"You're giving me parenting tips?" Ranma asked. "They always fight. We pretty much tune it out."
"Yeah, but in a public setting you'd think you'd be a bit more conscious." Genma persisted.
"You'd think so." Soun added.
Ryoga was just staring down at the field, letting his eyes go out of focus. He sighed dreamily and rested his head on a hand. Ranma narrowed his eyes and hit him in the back of the head to break his trance. Ryoga rounded on Ranma with his teeth bared. "What'd you do that for?"
"Don't play dumb!" Ranma answered heatedly. "I know you and how your mind works!"
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Ryoga crossed his arms and tried to look resolute. But suddenly there was a picture of Akane in front of his face. "YAA!" He jumped back with a red face, completely losing his cool.
"Uh-huh." Ranma pushed the picture back into his wallet. "I'm watching you." He pointed his finger at Ryoga threateningly.
"For- For your information I was thinking about… WORK!" Ryoga shouted more forcefully than he needed to. "We're taking down a mini-mall tomorrow! Yep! Big mini-mall! My boss Ted gave me the night off because I'm his number one crew man!"
"Crew man?" Ranma asked.
"Demolition worker! You know my job! But I don't suppose you've had any personal experience with such things." Ryoga said with a sly grin.
Ranma's jaw dropped and his eye twitched furiously. "I was willing to let you daydreaming about Akane slide! But when you start throwing insults too, IT'S ON!" Ranma tried to jump at Ryoga, but Genma jumped in-between them holding back Ranma with his arms and Ryoga back with his feet. "Boys! Please calm down!" Genma shouted.
"Don't brag Ryoga! You're just a stupid demolitions worker! You break rocks!" Ranma yelled angrily, trying to get around his father.
"Hey! Those jobs are hard to come by!" Ryoga shouted back.
SOME YEARS EARLIER
Ted drummed his fingers on the desk he was sitting at, and then he loosened his collar as he looked over the resume in front of him. He hated these interviews.
"And I have experience with Marvin's crew in Okinawa. Their number is on my resume." Bill continued with a great level of confidence. "I think that's just about it. What do you think?"
Ted snapped his head up. He hadn't been listening to a single word. "Uh… very good. You start tomorrow."
"Great!" Bill stood up and so did Ted as Bill shook his hand. "I really think I'll be an asset to-" KABOOOOM! Right then the wall cracked up, sending rocks and debris flying past them. Bill ducked down but Ted just covered his head.
When the dust cleared Ryoga stood in the ruins of the wall. "I NEED A JOB!" He yelled.
"You're hired!" Ted shouted happily.
"ARE YOU CRAZY?" Bill hissed at his new boss.
BACK TO NOW
Ryoga shook his head. "Anyway, what about you? Don't you entertain little boys for a living?"
"WHY YOU!" Ranma made another vie for Ryoga's throat. People were getting knocked around and they were glaring at Ranma and Ryoga angrily.
Soun picked up Genma's soda. "Tendo! What are doing with my drink?" Genma asked worriedly as he held back Ranma.
"I'm just gonna douse these two." Soun answered as he took the lid off the drink.
Ryoga saw it as if it were in slow motion. Akane was coming back towards them through the crowd, she could see them. Soun threw the soda cup in his direction. His brain filled with panic as he saw the liquid begin to slosh out of the cup. At the very finite time he had, he kicked his leg up and sent the cup flying away, onto Ranma's head.
Ranma sputtered soda out of her red hair. "Hey!" She shouted angrily.
"Ranma! Quit playing around and help me find Daichi! I haven't seen him anywhere!" Akane grabbed Ranma's arm and tried to pull her up.
"Don't worry so much, Akane." Ranma stayed seated. "I'm sure Daichi's fine."
Akane glared at him with fire in her eyes. "Okay! I'm coming!" Ranma allowed herself to be pulled through the crowd of people, bumping into everyone as they went. "This isn't over, Ryoga!" She yelled back at him as they went.
Ryoga gripped his chest. That was way too close! If Akane found out I was P-Chan all those years ago… there's no telling what would happen!
"Barkbarkbarkbarkbark!" Iikiba yipped angrily as monkey Makoto forced him to sit still.
A SHORT TIME LATER, ELSEWHERE IN THE STANDS
"Stupid bathroom line went on forever." Daichi grumbled as he pushed his way down the stands, trying to spot his family. When he'd gotten separated from Mr. Hibiki and the others Daichi had somehow wound up at the bathrooms and decided it was a good time to take advantage of them. You know it's bad when the boy's room has a long line, he didn't even want to think of how long the girl's must be.
"Excuse me please." Daichi pushed his way between two people and tried to go on, but someone had grabbed his wrist. He looked back to see who, but whoever it was suddenly tugged very hard on his arm pulled him back through the crowd very quickly.
"AAAHHHH!" Daichi lost his balance and dragged along the ground by his heels, bumping into every person in his way. Suddenly he was out in the open and saw that it was one of Yuri's fan boys holding his wrist. The whole lot of them were holding hands in a human chain and looking extremely worn out. They collapsed in a pile next to Yuri, who was sitting on the bench next to Ryoga.
"There! See? I told you he was fine." Ranma told Akane haughtily, indicating Daichi as they approached the bench again and took their seats. "You get all worked up over nothing."
"You have no parental instinct!" Akane snapped angrily.
"Only ten minutes now before things get started." Soun announced as he checked his watch.
"I'm fine. Thanks for asking." Daichi muttered sarcastically.
"Oh, there you are." Yuri said as though Daichi had been trying to get her attention. "Your brother sure is making a mess of things. Isn't it your duty as an older brother to set a good example for your younger sibling?"
"Yuri, would you just be quiet? Do you expect your older brother to set an example for you?" Daichi grumbled as he got to his feet.
"We already know he's a lost cause."
"SHUT UP!" Iikiba snapped angrily. Luckily Ryoga was sitting between the two so there wasn't much else he could get away with. Not that Ryoga would have really noticed because he was having a glaring contest with Ranma at the moment.
"Stop acting childish!" Akane shouted at them.
"You want I should douse them?" Soun asked as held a soda threateningly.
"That's MY soda!" Genma shouted, making a grab for it. "Use your own!"
"Iikiba!" Makoto bonked him on the head. "Stop looking at Mascara! Don't think I don't notice!"
"I'm glad you do!" Iikiba shouted, rubbing a hand on his head. "Besides, I was just looking at the field!"
Daichi sighed and scratched the side of his head. If Makoto and Iikiba ever get married, this is probably what their wedding would be like. Geez. Can't they at least try to be mature?
"THE NERVE!" Suddenly Lotion was standing next to Daichi looking furious. Daichi jumped in surprise and fell onto the bench he was standing next to, pushing Yuri into Ryoga slightly. "Lotion!" He shouted.
"Daichi, I'm sorry, but Jatsuma has gone too far!" Lotion clinched her fists angrily. "I knew he was egotistical, but I never thought he would ever go this far! This is the most chauvinist, sexist, testosterone induced smut I've ever seen! And you know what the worst part is?"
"Oh, Ranma! There you are!" Shampoo came over carrying a plate of curry. "We have a food stand set up at concessions. But yours is on the house, okay?"
"No thanks." Akane grumbled stiffly.
"MOM! Stop encouraging this! I can't believe you have absolutely no respect for women!" Lotion shouted angrily.
"What's wrong with fighting for your man?" Shampoo asked sternly. "You should be supporting your sister! Luffa is going to win and we show Curler what's what!" She proclaimed resolutely.
"That's not the point! ARGH! That's it!" Lotion took off down the stadium's stairs in a huff.
"Where you going, Lotion?" Shampoo called.
"To give Jatsuma a piece of my mind!" She yelled back as he knocked aside two boys on her way down.
"Lotion! Wait!" Daichi tried to go after her, but found he couldn't get out of his seat. Slowly he turned to Yuri. "Am I sitting on fly paper?"
"Yup." Yuri crossed her legs and tapped her foot.
NEARBY
"Wha- What is all this?" Razor asked as he looked over the sea of people meandering the stadium surrounding the soccer field. She was on top of the commentary box where two spunky volunteer students where setting up to announce the start of the fight and the game afterwards.
"Ready?" One boy asked his friend as he tapped the mike to get a sound check.
"You know it!" The other boy pressed a large blue button and a ringing filled the stadium momentarily. The sound quickly died away, along with the sound of the audience.
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN," The boy's voice rang over the intercom. "WELCOME TO TONIGHTS PITCHED FIGHT BETWEEN OUR TWO LOVELY CHEERLEADERS!" The stands filled with the cheers and whistles of the audience. "I KNOW EVERYONE'S EAGER FOR THINGS TO GET STARTED SO WE'LL JUST GIVE BRIEF INTRODUCTIONS!" The crowd continued to cheer as Mascara and Luffa took their places in front of the goals at each end of the field. They weren't paying attention to the rowdy audience, but glaring angrily at each other. Things would be settled once and for all.
"ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE FIELD YOU WILL SEE THE LOVELY AMAZON MASCARA! ENGAGED TO JATSUMA THOUGH AMAZON LAW!" The boy announced. "ON THE RIGHT YOU WILL SEE LUFFA! OUR OWN BEAUTIFUL HOME TOWN GIRL AND JATSUMA'S EX-GIRLFRIEND! ALSO ENGAGED TO JATSUMA THROUGH AMAZON LAW! WHO WILL REIGN VICTORIOUS? WE'RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT!"
Coach Oshiro stared smugly at the West Side Shark's coach. "Look at that worm! He can't stand that I've outdone him and his stupid break dancing shark! HA!"
"AND THE ONE BEHIND IT ALL!" Coach Oshiro puffed up proudly. "JATSUMA SAOTOME!" The boy yelled over the audience's cheers. Oshiro fell over in dismay. "What? No! I put this together!"
"Great job, Jatsuma!" Yukio hit him on the back.
Jatsuma shrugged, trying to look modest. "Well, you know…"
"You little brat!" Oshiro yelled furiously up at Jatsuma on the front row the bleachers.
"SO LET'S GET THIS THING GOING!" The commentary continued. The baffled old referee held up an arm momentarily and swung it down to signal the start of the fight. Mascara and Luffa ran towards each other from across the field.
One chapter of this story arc remains! Hoo-sha!