CHAPTER 5

The Water Is Wide

July 30, 2012

Dear Diary, The last twelve days were killer! Well, anyway, where'd we leave off? Oh yeah! I stopped at the Jersey Shore. There was no way across! I could hear Nigel's goons getting closer. Damn him! Excuse my language, diary. I've taken a liking to cursing! Imagine that! Me, Little Miss I-Love-Rainbow-Monkeys, cursing!

Back to the story: I had just finished cursing, when I noticed a dorsal fin. A shark's dorsal fin. The craziest idea came to my head: Ride the shark. You'll be fine. After all, I did it. And if I can do it then so can you. Who was talking in my head? Certainly not Wally! He'd never ridden a shark in his life! It must've been Abby! She rode a shark when we battled that freaky coffee dude.

I ran out into the water, with all that blood on my feet. As I'd thought, the sharks headed over to me. I looked back at King Nigel, his face white. I grinned one of my special smiles at him!

"What the hell is she doing?" A soldier cussed. (Looks like my "King's" men like to curse too.)

"She's committing suicide!" Nigel squeaked. "Bring her out of that ocean this second!"

As the shark and soldiers charged towards me, I jumped onto the shark, and steered it like a horse. We swam out to sea, far away from Nigel's goons! I heard the faint voice of the King, saying, "She's crazy."

I swam into the night with Molly, my name for him. A shark named Molly, ha! We've become good friends. He doesn't try to eat me anymore, now that's the blood has washed off. We catch fish and eat them, which by the way is gross, swim, and search for land.

10 days later, we arrived to a strange beach. By the look of scenery we were in Europe. I wasn't sure what country, but we were definitely in Europe. I kissed Molly goodbye, and went off into the land of fancy stuff.

As they would say, I looked positively wretched. I wandered into a flea market, where I found some simple, but pretty clothes. A part of me said to myself, "No. You must keep your outfit! It shows your pride!" but another part of me said, "This is obviously British territory. They must be loyal to King Nigel. I could be killed! Or worse, shipped back to Nigel!" I chose the side that said to buy. One problem: I had no money! If I begged for money, I was asking for attention, which I didn't want. What was I to do? One word: steal. As much as I knew stealing was bad, I had to. I had no choice.

When the woman managing the cart with the simple, but pretty, clothes changed shifts with a handsome man, say 25 years old, I knew I had a chance. I walked over to the man.

"Hi, cutie!" I said with my angelic little voice. I didn't actually like him, but o needed his attention. "What's a hot-shot like you working at a little trinket shop?"

"It was my father's business." He spoke with a British accent. "He handed it down to me. Name's Phil."

"Jodi," I replied. "Nice to meet you, Phil."

"So, what's a beauty like you doing at a filthy flea market?"

"Beauty or not, I need new clothing," I answered. "This clothing is stained, soaked, and falling apart. And I don't have any shoes."

"Ouch," He joked. "Well, you've come to the right place! Everything at this shop is $5.00 or less!"

"There's another problem," I muttered. "I've got nothing. Zip, zero, nada."

"What did you do with it all?" Phil asked. "You obviously didn't use it on clothing."

"Fish," I explained. "Lots, and lots of fish. Any chance a poor girl on the run could "borrow" these shoes, shirt, skirt, socks, underwear- you get it, right?"

"Of course!" Phil delightedly replied. "I'll let you "borrow" this stuff! Just promise me one thing?"

"And that is?" I questioned.

"Be careful," He spookily spoke. "Rumor on the street, there's a guy following a pretty girl with black hair and white clothing."

"King Nigel?"

"No, someone different. Anyway, I heard he couldn't wait to find her. Says it has been so long since he's been with her. Apparently, her name's Kuki, but she doesn't want to be called that anymore. That pretty girl could be you, so watch out."

I was scared stiff. I never thought anyone would be following me except for Nigel and his guys. But someone is. And he can't wait to find me. He knows who I am. He knows I'm hiding my true identity. He knows everything, and he's out to get me.

A shiver went down my spine. I quickly took the clothes, winked at Phil, and hurried the heck out of there!

I headed towards Wal-Mart, where I found a dressing room. I quickly changed into my new clothing. I pulled on a sparkly pink baby-doll top, with a pink mini-skirt with white ruffles on the bottom. I placed a white belt with a butterfly on it around my waist, put on some socks, and some white go-go boots. Of course, I put on underwear and stuff, but let's not get into detail about that.

My old clothes, I placed in the purse Abby bought me. I found the 34 cigarette box, and hugged it. And I cried. I actually cried. I must've sounded hysterical, because when I came out, everyone started comforting me! They hugged me, patted my back, and said they were sorry for me. It was embarrassing, but I felt a lot better. I thanked them, and walked out of the dressing room.

On my way out, I saw a woman who had dropped her purse. I helped her pick everything up, and put it back. She thanked me for my kindness, and handed me a 100-dollar bill. I handed it back to her, but she shoved it back.

"Keep it," she said. "After what you've gone through, you deserve it."

She seemed familiar. Like I'd known her in the past. The woman was wearing a light brown faux coat with a white blouse and a long, violet skirt. Covering her eyes were glasses. She had her auburn hair tied back in a braid, and was kind of chubby. Then it hit me.

"Lizzie!" I cried out in joy. I hugged her, and she hugged me back. "I can't believe I didn't recognize you! What are you doing in Great Britain?"

"More to the point, what are you doing here?" she asked, in a sly way.

"Uh, well,"

"No need to explain," She answered for me. "My old boyfriend's chasing you around the globe, and someone else, who you think you don't know, but you do."

I was struck with confusion. I knew him, but didn't think I did?

"But,"

"Why don't you come with me to my house?" Lizzie offered. "We have an extra room, for guests only."

"We?" I said, questioning her.

"Herb and I," She responded. "You know, the guy with the pocket protector?"

"Oh yeah!" I remembered. "Okay, I'll come."

So I went with Lizzie to her mansion. It was huge! They had a fountain, and everything. So now I'm staying in the lovely "room" that includes a waterbed, a bathroom with a spa- hot tub, bathtub, shower, sauna, massages, you name it! Not to mention the soda fountain, room service, and all that fancy stuff. But I can't stop thinking about that man that's out to get me.

Love, Jodi

A.K.A. Kuki, Poster-Girl