Got Forest?

Rating: Teen. Haha language, dude :D

Disclaimer: I don't own The X-Files... or err... yeah.

Summary: Mulder gets lost in the forest with a very angry Scully.

A/N: This... actually happened to me and my friend when we went camping. But we weren't in LA. LOL. sigh

"Please, Scully! I've always wanted to go on one of these!"

"It's a forest trail, Mulder. We've been in a forest plenty of times. What? Did that experience not satisfy your desire?"

"You know what I mean! This is the real deal. And the only reason we ended up in a forest was because we were chasing something or... we were chasing something."

"You can go by yourself. I'm not going."

"Why not?"

"I'll get all hot, sweaty, and... no. No way."

"Please? Just one! How often do we get to take a forest trail in Louisiana?" She crossed her arms and looked down. "And then for the rest of the day, we can do whatever you want."

"Whatever I want?" He smiled and nodded his head. She sighed and let her arms fall to her sides. "Alright. Let's go." He smiled and walked up to a map that displayed three different trails. Each one longer than the other and marked in different colors. The longest being fives miles, marked in blue. The second to largest in yellow with three miles and the shortest in red with one and a half miles. He pointed to the blue one and smiled.

"The blue trail. I think that one is just the trail that goes around the whole lake. It shouldn't be that bad." She didn't even bother to look at the map; she just started walking and stared at the trees ahead of her. "Hey! Scully! Wait up!" He caught up with her and they took their first turn into the forest. "Screw Dallas. THIS place is hotter than hell."

"Why did I let you talk me into coming with you?" She groaned as she jumped over huge mud piles and swatted away mosquitoes flying around her head.

"Oh stop complaining. You're having fun and you know it."

"Yeah. Getting attacked by swarms of mosquitoes and flying branches is exactly my idea of fun." They kept walking for a few minutes before Scully started getting tired. "Mulder? I'm tired."

"Suck it up. We're not even half way done yet."

"What! It feels like I've been walking for almost three damn hours! How long is this trail anyways?" She sighed and sat down against a tree she thought was safe. He walked up to her and took a sip of his water bottle. "When we get back, we are seriously taking a nap and relaxing for the rest of the day."

"But I wanted-"

"Nah ah ah! You told me if I came along, what we did for the rest of the day was up to me. Please correct me if I'm wrong." Her smirked faded and she looked down. "AHHH! SPIDER!" She jumped up and ran away from the tree. She missed a huge mud pile and ended up sliding back towards Mulder. His eyes widened and he held out his arms to catch her. She fell against his chest and linked her arms around his neck to keep her from falling.

"I thought thee' Dana Scully wasn't afraid of spiders."

"That sucker had more than eight legs, I guarantee it."

"Come on. There's still a whole lot more we need to see." She sighed and released her grip on his neck. They walked for a few minutes before they came across an old looking bridge with water surrounding it. "Scully. This is amazing." He looked down at the cypress trees and water plants when something caught his eye. She walked into him and grunted.

"WHAT is so amazing in that water that you just HAD to stop and stare at?"

"Look..." He pointed to a long, black snaked curled up on the stop of the water. Her eyes grew wide and she backed away. She stopped when she reached the edge of the bridge and screamed. He turned around and caught her arms before she could fall into the water. He held her against him and peeked over the edge. More snakes were just waiting for her to fall in the water. She looked back and almost fainted.

"Oh my God... Mulder."

"Come on. Let's go."

"What? You don't want to try and poke it with a stick?" He rolled his eyes and went to start walking, but she grabbed his hand. He looked back and gave her a questioning look. "Incase you need to save me again..." He smiled and they both started walking again.

Hours later and they still weren't getting any closer to the end of the trail. She stomped her feet and stopped walking.

"Stop! I'm tired, Mulder! I'm tired and hungry and my feet HURT!" She pressed her back against a tree and slowly slid down until she was sitting on the ground. He walked up to her and felt her forehead. She was hot and the sun was going down. "How long is this damn trail?"

"Five miles..."

"FIVE MILES!" He nodded his head and bit his lip. "How in the hell are we suppose to get back?"

"Follow the arrows on the trees."

"The arrows on the trees aren't telling us shit. We're lost and you know it."

"We aren't lost. It's just a long trail." She rolled her eyes and tried to stand up. She hissed in pain and slid back down the tree. "What's wrong?"

"Feet. Hurt. Bad." He reached for her foot but she pulled it away. "Touch it, and when I recover, it's going up your ass."

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the web... this morning." She swatted his arm and glared at him.

"I'll show you who woke up on the wrong side of the WEB this morning if you don't find a way out of here..."

"Relax. I'm sure it's just a few miles-" They heard the sound of a boat motor and looked out into the river that was next to the trail. Scully threw her arms up in the air and shouted.

"HEY! HEY WAIT!" The man driving the boat slowed down and stared at them. "How far is it back to the camp site!"

"Umm... it's just down there! Keep walking for a few more minutes and you'll be there!" He started up his boat and headed back down the river.

"I don't think I can last another few minutes."

"Do I need to carry you there, you big cry baby?"

"Well if you want to leave me here and feed me to the wild animals, by all means... go on without me!"

"That's it. Come on." He grabbed her hands and threw her over his shoulder. She squeaked and hit his shoulder.

"Watch the foot!" He walked by a tree and purposely brushed her foot against the branch and smirked. She slapped him behind the head. "Sweet Jesus, you just wait until I'm able to walk on my own again."

"What's with all the negativity, Scully?"

"We're stuck in a forest, with no food or water... the sun is going DOWN and snakes are all over the place."

"I haven't seen a snake since we walked off that bridge." She waited a few seconds before she pointed to the ground.

"Snake..." He kept walking and ignored her. "Another snake..." He tightened his grip on her waist. "Snake... snake... sneaky snake!"

"DAMNIT! WHE-" He looked down and gasped. Snake. She was right. He slowly started to back up but she yelled.

"Ah! Slow ya roll! Snake!" He turned around and gulped. Not one snake, two snakes. His grip on her waist loosened and she tensed up. "Oh God forbid, if you're even thinking about putting me down, I'll make sure you never live to see another snake." He counted to three in his head and took off running with Scully bouncing up and down in his shoulder. "Ow... Mulder... has any-... one ever... told you... you run... like... a... girl?" He looked back at her in disbelief and stopped when he came across another bridge, but this one was different.

"What's the hold up?"

"Feel like walking across this?" She looked back and moaned. Stones that were barely sticking out of the water and covered in moss was all she could see.

"We're not... crossing that, are we?"

"Wanna go back to your little buddies on the trail over there?"

"Clear the way, we're going through!" He laughed and shook his head. He took the first step and sighed. He looked at the water around him and gasped when he saw a pair of bright yellow eyes staring at him from underneath the water. "Eh... Mulder?"

"Huh?"

"All boarding the Rockanic."

"Huh?" He looked down to see the rock they were standing on was slowly sinking into the water. He jumped onto the next one and waved his free arm so he kept his balance. He made it across the small swamp and sighed. A couple of minutes later and they passed a sign nailed to a tree that read, 'Exit. Next right.' "Scully! We're free!" He took the next right and ended up standing in the middle of a deserted road.

"Great. Just... great. Now what?"

"We walk."

"Correction. You walk."

"Oh. Yeah."

An hour later, they had walked all the way back to their cabin. He slowly brought Scully into the bathroom and sat her in the bathtub. He left while she took herself a bath and got dinner ready for her. She limped out into the kitchen and smirked.

"What smells so good?"

"Eggs and bacon." She laughed.

"The bathroom is all yours." He took himself a shower while she ate. When she was done, she saved the dishes and sat in front of the fire place. He walked out of the bathroom with a first-aid kit and kneeled in front of her. "What are you doing?"

"You hurt your foot. I'm taking care of it. What does it look like?"

"Do you have any idea as to what you're doing?"

"No but..." He put medication on her cuts and scratches and wrapped up her ankle. "I can try." He sat down next to her and moved the hair out of her face. "Thank you. For coming with me."

"You're welcome. Just next time, don't choose the longest trail." He laughed and kissed her forehead.

"I won't." They sat there for a few minutes before he spoke up. "I saw a different side of you today. The extremely pissed off side of you." She leaned forward and softly kissed him on the lips. The minute both of their mouths opened, she pulled away and smirked.

"That was another side you'll be seeing this evening." He licked his lips and looked into her eyes. "I've been wanting to do that... all day."

"What a coincidence."

A/N: LOL! Cute? Hilarious? Stupid? Awful? Let me know. I spent a lot of time on this fic. One of my favorites, if I do say so myself. LOL