Disclaimer : I and those who contribute to this universe own Jake and Delta. We own nothing else, as BBC holds the rights to the Doctor, the TARDIS, and everything else.

Story: Birth

Author: Cadao

ROSE

"Don't blame me!" my husband insists. I close my eyes and growl,

"I blame you!" Then, "Trust me! I blame you!" I am bellowing the last sentence.

"It was a two way street!" he defends himself.

"Your the one who stuck your-"

"Er...Hello! Rose, you doin' okay?" Jack brakes in from the door.

"DO I LOOK OKAY!" I scream back.

"Come on, love, push with the contractions," Theta reminds me. Like I could of forgotten.

"You push!" I demand. "I'm already push-OW! Bloody hell!"

"Bloody all right," Jack observes.

I yell an unintelligent word.

"Push, Rose, push!" Theta coaches.

"I AM!" I scream.

"Deep breaths. Come on, deep breaths." Theta soothes.

"I BLAME YOU! You and your insatiable sex drive!" I think he responds with an 'Oi!' but I am too deep in yelling, "I blame

you, your double hearts, and your ability to go forever! I BLAME MOTHER NATURE FOR NOT HAVING A BETTER

WAY OF DOING THIS!" I finally explode, getting mad at all creation for forcing me and all other women into this.

"Crown!" Theta brakes in. I see Jack start getting towels ready.

"WHAT!" I shoot back.

"Crown...the baby's head!" Theta explains in his 'your a dumb ape anyway' voice.

I make one long, unintelligent word again, just to relieve pain. Amazing how effective that is.

"Push, Rose-" Theta doesn't get to finish his stupid sentence,

"YOU BLOODY PUSH!" I snarl.

"I would, but then I'd be pushing the wrong way," he replies calmly.

"Then pull!" I snap.

"Erm...push!" Coward.

"BLAH!" I answer.

"Shoulders!" Theta's voice bubbles through my pain.

"Great! Where's the bloody rest!" I demand.

"C'mon Rose - yes...yes..HA!"

"Grrr. Oh, Mum, I'm sorry for ever saying 'how could it be hard?' " I moan.

"Girl!" Theta informs. Baby girl? Ha! YES! The next moment I heard her give out a cry and then nothing. "Er..." I was still

having contractions. "Theta . . .THETA!"

"What?" he wonders, giving me a worried look.

"BABY!" I yell.

"What!" He dodges back to my arse. "Crown . . . would you look at that . . ."

I scream yet again another non-sense word.

"Come on . . . oh . . ." Theta trails off softly. Another cry, this one louder and doesn't stop. Theta gives the baby to Jack.

"Push Rose!" Theta reminds me.

"What? Why? THIRD!" I panic.

"No, you have to expel the placenta . . ."

"What?" What is a placenta?

"Rose, just push," Theta states in irritation.

I reply with my usual jibberish. I hear the hum of the sonic screwdriver.

"Done!" Theta leaps up, giving me a grin and going to wash his hands.

"Grrr . . . arg . . . two babe . . . babies . . . oh, I blame you . . . I'm gonna kill you . . . we need more . . . " I decided as the

pain subsided. Not yet, though, no more babies yet . . . "Two girls?" I ask.

"A boy and a girl."

Oh!

JACK

I open the Tardis doors, peeking in and calling, "Hello? Anyone home?" Of course they are home, Harkness, the doors are open. I walk to the console, touching it briefly. How good it is to be home.

The halls are eerily quiet - until I hear Rose screaming, "It's all your bloody fault!"

"Don't blame me!" the Doctor replies, in a much calmer, less screaming, voice. I come up to a room and notice its the med-bay. I grin. Could it be - yes! She's in labor!

How awful does that sound?

"I blame you!" Rose snarls. Then she shouts, "Trust me! I blame you!"

"It was a two way street!" the Doc defends himself. He is in between Rose's legs, ready to catch the baby.

"Your the one who stuck your-"

"Er...Hello! Rose, you doin' okay?" I ask from the door, and I immediately wish I hadn't said such a mean thing. She's obviously in pain, and beside, she's having this kid come through an inch of a hole.

The Doctor gives me a piercing look for my words as Rose shrieks, "DO I LOOK OKAY!"

"Come on, love, push with the contractions," the Doctor soothes, ignoring me completely. I walk over to Rose, dumping my sack into a corner. Being the foolish, loving guy I am, I take Rose's hand and let her hold on to it. I wince, trying not to make any sounds that would damage my manhood. Rose is strong for someone who can't even fight a Tryuna beast.

"You push! I'm already push-OW! Bloody hell!" Rose yells. I pry my hand away from Rose and go over to the Doc, who is sitting down. I glance at his hands.

"Bloody all right," I comment. The Doc shoots another glare at me, in which I respond with a non-apologetic shrug. He goes back to Rose.

"AHHHHHHHH!" Rose voices.

"Push, Rose, push!" the Doc reminds.

I whisper, "Glad I ain't a woman."

"I AM!" Rose shrieks in response to the Doctor's 'push, Rose, push!' I believe, since I'm sure she didn't hear me.

"Deep breaths. Come on, deep breaths," the Doc tells her.

"I BLAME YOU! You and your insatiable sex drive!" she hisses.

"Oi!" he pretends to be offended, but somehow I don't think Rose cares.

"I blame you, your double hearts, and your ability to go forever!"

"Right," the Doctor agrees.

"I BLAME MOTHER NATURE FOR NOT HAVING A BETTER WAY OF DOING THIS!"

The Doc looks to me and says softly, "Go get the towels and water ready. You think you can handle cleaning up the baby?" To his question I just nod, not wanting to say something more.

"Crown..." he whispers. He says louder, "Crown!"

I leave him to go to the table, checking to make sure the water is warm.

"WHAT!" Rose snaps.

"Crown...the baby's head!" he clarifies with that 'your stupid, you know that?' voice. For a split second I swear he had his 'communicating with telepathic people' look on his face.

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmga!" Rose replies. Uh huh.

"Push, Rose-"

"YOU BLOODY PUSH!"

"I would, but then I'd be pushing the wrong way." the Doctor rejects.

"Then pull!" Rose snaps, like the Doctor was dumb for not knowing to do so.

"Erm...push!" he decides to just ignore the question.

"BLAH!" Rose grips the sheets.

"Shoulders!" The Doc updates. I start to look for the towels, and found one.

"Great! Where's the bloody rest!" she demands.

"C'mon Rose - yes...yes..HA!" the Doctor beams.

"Grrr. Oh, Mum, I'm sorry for ever saying 'how could it be hard?' " Rose laminates.

"Girl!" the Doctor exclaims with pride. I hear a slight spanking sound, and then crying.

The Doctor hands me the baby, who quiets down as we link eyes. Hers are ice blue, just like her father - but unlike her father...would you look at that, Rose's chubby little nose. My eyes light up.

"You're a cute one, you know that?" I whisper to her. She blinks at me and gives me one of the Doctor's stern looks. Creepy.

"Er...Theta...THETA!" Rose shouts. I let the Doc rush back to Rose's ass. I have a more pressing matter to attend to. She has beautiful blue eyes and a sweet little face.

"What?" The Doctor wonders as I start to clean off the babty girl.

"BABY!" Rose exclaims. Two of them? Two? Ah, the joys of been an uncle...

"What!" the Doctor laughs. "Crown...would you look at that..." He sounds like he is grinning like an idiot.

"AGGGGGGG!" Rose howls.

"Come on..."

I finish cleaning up the little girl, and go back to the Doctor, who informs us it is a boy. The baby cries out, and keeps crying. Poor little guy. I take him from the Doc.

"Push Rose!" the Doctor goes back to his position.

"What? Why? THIRD!" she sounds panicky.

"No, you have to expel the placenta..." he tells her, with something like guilt in his voice.

"What?" Rose sounds calmer now.

"Rose, just push." he insists.

"GRRRR-AG!" Rose bellows and then a few second later I hear the sonic screwdriver.

"Done!" the Doctor exclaims.

"Grrr...arg...two babe...babies...oh, I blame you...I'm gonna kill you...we need more...two girls?" Rose's words make me smile. I finish cleaning baby boy's toes. He had finally quieted down.

"A boy and a girl," the Doctor corrects, gently picking up the nearest baby - which is the boy. Rose's eyes light up as he hands him to her.

"Worth it?" he asks tenderly. I pick up the girl, and she looks at me. Right then I fall in love.

"Yeah..." Rose sounds like she is crying, but it is not from the pain. "Hey...where's the other one?"

I feel them both look at me and I defend myself,

"She's mine! I'm gonna call her ... Jacklyn!"

Rose says calmly, "No, Jack." while the Doctor tries not to smirk.

"Why not? You can say she's named after your mother...she's mine!" I say defiantly. The baby makes a soft noise and snuggles into my chest.

Rose rolls her eyes, and turns her attention to the Doctor.

"Oh...Theta?" Rose asks. "Next time I say 'natural birth' tell me 'shut it and do as I say'."

THETA

"Don't blame me!" I reply to my darling, wonderful wife. She's been in labor for the past six hours - a six hours that has enlightened me to how much my Rose can swear when she has a mind too. She is also dilating faster then I thought she would be. Most human first time births take ten or so hours; the rate she is going she will be holding our first child in about half an hour.

"I blame you!" She growls. Then she shouts, "Trust me! I blame you!"

"It was a two way street!" I defend myself. I am in between my wife's legs, ready to catch our little miracle.

"You're the one who stuck your-"

"Er...Hello! Rose, you doin' okay?" Jack asks from the door. He's back from his vacation a little early - I expected him to be gone for the next few weeks, as he had a few partners that rival even his sex drive.

I give him a sharp look for being insensitive as Rose bellows, "DO I LOOK OKAY!"

"Come on, love, push with the contractions." I soothe, ignoring Jack completely. He walks over, dumping his sack along the way in a corner. He takes Rose's hand and lets her squeeze it, his face indicating my wife is a lot stronger now then she was when he left.

"You push! I'm already push-OW! Bloody hell!" Rose bears down, the trickle of blood becoming a brief waterfall. Jack prys his hand away from Rose and troops over to me.

"Bloody all right." Jack is standing beside me, peering down at my hands. I shoot him another glare in which he shrugs non-apologetically.

"AHHHHHHHH!" Rose voices.

"Push, Rose, push!" I remind.

Jack whispers, "Glad I ain't a woman."

"I AM!" Rose shrieks in response to my 'push, Rose, push!'..though she could of been responding to Jack. I grin.

"Deep breaths. Come on, deep breaths." I tell her for the seven hundredth and eighth time.

"I BLAME YOU! You and your insatiable sex drive!" she hisses.

"Oi!" I pretend to be offended, though I think she's past being lucid.

"I blame you, your double hearts, and your ability to go forever!"

"Right." I agree, simply because she might be able to hear.

"I BLAME MOTHER NATURE FOR NOT HAVING A BETTER WAY OF DOING THIS!"

Nope.

I look to Jack and tell him quietly, "Go get the towels and water ready. You think you can handle cleaning up the baby?" My question causes Jack to nod.

"Crown..." I whisper. "Crown!" This time I say it loud enough for Rose to hear. Jack goes to the table I have put everything I will need on.

"WHAT!" Rose snaps.

"Crown...the baby's head!" I tell her in disgust, positioning my hand so it catches the head. I frown. The baby does not want to come out. I sense fear as it slows time down. I can simply over-throw its powres, but my gaze softens and I reach out, using not words but the basics of communication; feelings. For outsiders it was only a second, but for us it was longer -

What is wrong, love?

The answers I get shock me; for the past month she has felt my power, and she is frightened of me. She can sense how much damage I can cause with just one thought, and she is afraid. Will I hurt her? Will I play with her feelings and mind? If she gets me angry, will I wipe her from existence? Will she be a prisoner within my powers?

Will I hurt her?

I'm so shocked by this, I reply in words: I am your father.

She doesn't understand, and my replying in a way that confuses her seems to confirm that I will hurt her. She wants to stay where she knows she is safe; inside her mother. I close my eyes briefly, thinking on how best to convoy who I am.

I am your father.

With this sentence carried everything I hoped would calm her, and make her trust me: I am here to guide you, to love you, to soothe pain when it comes and to make you laugh when you're sad. If anyone dares to hurt you, they will suffer the full extent of my powers. You have nothing to fear from me. There is nothing, nothing, you could do that would make me hurt you, especially in any of the ways you are thinking.

For a moment her mind is still, then she wonders: You are a powerful being, why care about me?

Your mother and I created you through love (how else would you have been possible?) and I would not hurt you for anything. You are a literal part of my soul.

Another brief moment of being still, then: Half of me came from you?

Yes.

Her relief surges through me. Now that she knows who I am, she no longer fears me to the extent she had. But I still sense fear. I then do something I should of done in the first place: I let her feel my love for her.

The fear she has in regard to my powers will probably never truly go away, but she no longer fears me. I smile at her, and she hesitantly lets nature take its course -

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmga!" Rose screams. Right. Intelligent word, that.

"Push, Rose-" I press.

"YOU BLOODY PUSH!"

"I would, but then I'd be pushing the wrong way." I point out as the baby's forehead greets the world.

"Then pull!" Rose snaps, like I should know better.

"Erm...push!" I decide to dodge the question. No use pointing out if I pull the baby then I'll do more damage to my wife. She wouldn't listen anyway, lovable ape as she is.

"BLAH!" Rose decides.

"Shoulders!" I update, guiding our baby girl out as gently as I could. I didn't know who I felt more sorry for; Rose and birth, or baby and fear of her father since she could sense his power.

"Great! Where's the bloody rest!" Rose demands.

"C'mon Rose - yes...yes..HA!" The little angel finally comes out all the way.

"Grrr. Oh, Mum, I'm sorry for ever saying 'how could it be hard?' " Rose laminates.

"Girl!" I beam, cutting off the baby's umbilical cord. I give the baby a light spank after holding her upside down. She's quiet for a split second before voicing her disaproval.Why did you do that? She quiets down, though, as I cradle her. You need to breathe, love. I was forcing you to breathe. I stand up, meet Jack halfway and give her to him. Jack's eyes light up, and he whispers something to her. I'm going to have to have a talk with him later on about dating any of my children...a big, flat, NO.

Oops. She picked up on that...poor Jack.

"Er...Theta...THETA!" Rose shouts.

"What?" I go back to catch -

"BABY!"

"What!" Another one? "Crown...would you look at that..." I know I'm grinning like a fool. Twins! Blessed little twins!

"AGGGGGGG!" Rose doesn't agree with me at this moment in time

Time...the little runt is manipulating time! It wasn't the first baby, it was this one... This time she was making time go slightly faster. Well...like your dad, you are. Come 'ere!

"Come on...oh...Hi, you!" I say affectionately. A boy! Cutting the umbilical cord and putting the little runt upside down, I give him a slight spank. He responded much like his sister, though his cries were much louder. I look into his warm brown eyes, soothing him before I hand him to Jack. I tell him like a cheery insane nutter, "Boy!" Then I go back to Rose,"Push Rose!"

"What? Why? THIRD!" she sounds panicky.

"No, you have to expel the placenta..." I reply, slightly guilty for not being more specific.

"What?" Rose sounds calmer now.

"Rose, just push." I insist. Didn't Jackie tell her daughter anything about birth!

"GRRRR-AG!" The placenta comes out with one final push in all its bloody glory. Using the sonic screwdriver to stop Rose's bleeding, I exclaim,

"Done!" I leap up, going to wash my hands.

"Grrr...arg...two babe...babies...oh, I blame you...I'm gonna kill you...we need more...two girls?"

"A boy and a girl." I grin, going around Rose (planting a kiss on her forehead) and gently picking up the nearest baby. Rose's eyes light up as I hand him to her.

"Worth it?" I ask tenderly. She kisses our son's forehead.

"Yeah..." Rose is crying, but it is not from the pain. She cuddles our son then wonders, "Hey...where's the other one?" She looks up at me and we both look back as Jack says,

"She's mine! I'm gonna call her ... Jacklyn!"

Rose says calmly, "No, Jack." while I try not to smirk. So much for him not wanting children. Impregnate your own female, ape.

"Why not?" Jack whines. "You can say she's named after your mother...she's mine!"

'She' makes a soft noise and snuggles into Jack's chest, going to sleep and slightly drooling. I don't think Jack even notices.

Rose rolls her eyes, and goes back to me.

"Oh...Theta?" Rose asks. "Next time I say 'natural birth' tell me 'shut it and do as I say'."

I just grin, and then go and take my baby girl away from Jack. He pouts slightly then says, "Fine...you being the father and all..."