Hi, everybody! I actually got more than one review this week! Hurray for hippos! Anyhow, let's get on to the responses...

G-Anakin13: Yeah, thanks for continually reviewing. I'm trying to keep Adi smart; she's definitely smarter than all the male Jedi...though that's not really saying much.

Haraneo B.P. Wicked: Don't worry, I'm not mad at you for not reviewing. It rocks that you did review. That's what counts. Yes, I'm sad Mace had to go back to being his usual self. Or did he?

miss-AZ: I love when I get reviews about people who say they laugh a lot. Thanks a bundle. And yes, I try to update as soon asI can.

Okay, now on with the story...

Disclaimer: I do not own a pack of caffeine-addicted chickens. At least, I don't think I do…

Chancellor Palpatine leaned back in his chair and sighed. "Man, it's tough being the greatest evil villain in the history of movies."

"What?" Shaak Ti stared at him. "You're not the greatest villain in the history of movies. Darth Vader is."

"But George Lucas says I am."

"Well, George Lucas doesn't realize that nobody really cares about the Emperor. Everybody cares about Darth Vader." She rolled her eyes. "Please, you act like this is new to you. Darth Vader is the greatest sci-fi villain ever, not you."

Palpatine shook his head. "I don't believe that. And you're starting to sound like a Separatist."

"What?"

"Sorry. It just popped out."

Shaak Ti slumped against the wall. "This stinks. I'm stuck here, with my only hope a bunch of Jedi idiots who only care about soap operas and lattes. I'm done for."

"Well you certainly are the optimistic one." Palpatine shrugged. "But I have wanted to ask you. We've been here for about, oh, six chapters, and I don't seem to know you very well. I want to ask you the deep, dark questions everybody's afraid to answer."

She closed her eyes. "Oh, this is going to be rich."

"What is your favorite color?"

She opened her eyes and gazed at the ceiling. "Please, just kill me now."

"What is your least favorite day of the week?"

"How about today?"

"Oh, come on, that was your answer yesterday. Anyway, one last question. What Jedi do you have a crush on?"

She sighed. "Definitely not Mace or Anakin."

"Aha! It's Yoda, isn't it!"

"How did you know?"

"What? It's really Yoda? I was just guessing."

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm in love in Yoda."

"But doesn't that other girl who's the same species, Yaddle, like him?"

"She dies before Episode II, you idiot."

"Do you think that stops the author?"

"Yeah, well, she's all brains and no brawn. I could take her down easy."

"Catfight!" Obi-Wan popped up with a bucket of popcorn. "I just can't believe this one doesn't involve Anakin."

"What—Obi-Wan!" Palpatine stood. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I heard that Shaak Ti was going to face Yaddle, and, I thought, what the heck, might as well get a good seat now."

Shaak Ti bowed her head. "I mean it. Kill me now."

In the hotel on Tatooine…

Wade the Battle Droid sighed. "Well, this stinks. Are you sure you didn't put the card in your pockets, Jango?"

"I don't have any pockets in this armor."

"Oh. Right."

Jango groaned. "I can't believe we're locked out of the room like this! What about Anakin?"

"He went to go get his hair done. Sorry, Jango."

"Sorry won't cut it, droid guy."

Wade poked Jango on the chest. "That's Mr. Droid Guy to you, bub."

"'Bub'? Where the heck did that come from?"

"Fear not, noble citizens, for I have come to end your injustice!"

"What?"

They both wheeled around. Mace swung in on a vine. "This party's over, evildoers!" He jumped to attack them, but fell flat on his face.

Wade stared at the Jedi. "I thought you were supposed to be cool now."

"Well, yes, but somebody must give the readers their laughs." Mace leapt to his feet. "You're going down."

Jango whipped out his twin blasters. "Windu. It's been too long."

"Jango?" Mace smiled. "Good to see you, man. You're right, it's been way too long. You're not still sore about that whole chopping off your head thing, are you?"

"No, Mace, not at all. Now excuse me as I kill you."

Jango fired. Sadly, not having his head, he hit Wade. Of course, he might have been actually aiming at Wade; it's kind of hard to tell at point-blank range.

Wade collapsed on the floor. Jango flipped his pistols around. "Oh yeah! Mace, you're dead."

Mace shook his head. "No, dude, your droid's dead."

"Oh. Well, that's okay." Jango shrugged. "I always hated him anyway. But, now, it's time for you to die, Mace."

Mace drew his lightsaber and did some unnecessary moves just to impress the audience. Jango fired his blasters again. Mace blocked the shots, sending the lasers into the wall.

Wade got to his feet. "I think I'm gonna be okay…" Jango shot him again and he collapsed on the floor again. "Oh, nope, I'm gone."

Mace continued to block Jango's fire. They repeated the endless cycle for about twenty or so hours before Mace finally got tired of it and chopped Jango's hands off. Jango sighed. "Ah, man. Back to the auto shop for me."

"That was unsurprisingly easy." Mace watched as Jango ran away. "Well, now I just have to wait for Anakin. I guess the story's going to be over way before we thought."

"No it's not!"

Mace looked around. "What? Who's there?"

"It's me, Wade the—"

Mace stepped on Wade's head, silencing the droid. He shrugged. "Odd, I thought I heard a voice. Must just have been my imagination. Ah well."

Adi hurried up the hall to him. "Mace, I—" She noticed the broken battle droid on the ground and the blaster marks on the walls. "What happened?"

"It was just Samuel L. Jackson doing what he does best."

"Being in dumb movies?"

"Nope. Kicking some serious—"

Anakin walked up to them with braids in his hair. He stopped. "Hey, Mace! Adi! What are you two doing here?"

Mace raised his eyebrows. "Being fairly disturbed, if you must ask."

Adi shook her head. "This is stupid. Anakin, we need you to come with us. So, get a move on, pretty boy."

"You don't want me." Anakin glared at them. "What you really want is The Cheese Dog. You don't care about me at all!"

"What? Anakin, we don't care about some stupid cheese dog! We just want you to come with us so the story can end!"

"No! You're unfair! You're always critical! You never listen!" Anakin burst into tears and dashed away.

Mace sighed. "Way to go, Adi."

"I didn't see you offering any help, Mace. Oh, now I remember, you were too busy being 'fairly disturbed.'"

"What, it's my fault the author can't think of any good jokes?"

Mister Frodo popped up. "Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, go bury yourself, idiot."

"I can kill you, Mace."

"Yeah, what are you going to do? Send a pack of rancid chickens after me?"

At that moment, as if some mysterious author had summoned them, a group of caffeine-addicted chickens stampeded through the hotel hall in search of a Starbucks, scooping up Mace as they went. The Jedi Master screamed as the coffee-loving poultry carried him away.

Adi shrugged. "Wow. Talk about coincidences."

"There are no coincidences. There are only coinkydinks." Mister Frodo gazed up at the sky. "Beam me up, Scotty!"

"Why is it always, 'beam this, Scotty', or, 'beam that, Scotty'? I'm sick of it, I tell you! Sick of it!"

"Oh, just shut up and start beaming, Scotty."

Adi watched as the author disappeared in a flash of light. She shrugged. "Ah well. I hope Yoda and Obi-Wan didn't trash the hotel room while I was gone. Of course, with how this day's going, I wouldn't be surprised if they did."

Back on Coruscant…

"Die!"

"Die!"

"Die!"

"Die!"

"Die!"

"Die!"

Obi-Wan sighed and turned away from the TV screen. "Is this really all they do on Naruto?"

Palpatine shook his head. "No, most of it's spent moving the plot along at about the pace of a slug. A slug with a peg leg."

"'I see so,' the blind man said as he picked up his hammer and saw." Obi-Wan chuckled at his own joke."

"That's not funny."

"Oh, come on, it's a little funny."

"Fine, I've got one." Palpatine cleared his throat. "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

"To get to the other side?"

"No, so we could make some really bad jokes!"

Obi-Wan stared at him. "Okay, dude, I think you can scratch comedian off your list of career choices."

"Dang it! That only leaves chiropractor and mime!"

Shaak Ti bowed her head. "I'm never going to get out of here."

Obi-Wan stood. "That reminds me, I have to go back to Tatooine. See you guys later. And Shaak Ti?" He winked at her. "Keep being beautiful."

"Must resist urge to break neck…"

What will happen on Tatooine? Will the Jedi find The Cheese Dog? Can Shaak TI ever escape? And why is the author making so many cameos? Find out in the continuing adventure of Jedi Nites